We are required to remind you that these strong takes are presented as parody. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. - Ed.
Wait wait wait wait wait. (Say this out loud to yourself so you get the rhythm right,, its very important to my column that your starting this correctly.)
Your telling me that a guy who went to go live in Miami because he thought it would help his rap career got busted for smoking drugs?
Let me pick my jaw up off the floor. Go ahead, I'll wait.
The Miami "student" couldnt lay off the drugs for a month before the combine and now the Eye of this Hurricane is as red as the flags hes got next to his name on the Big Boards. The running theme of the combine pot test is that its a intelligents test- they dont really care if you smoke Devil Lettuce, they just want to know if your smart enough to not smoke it if they tell you to not smoke it. This makes sense. I would do the same thing accept with sexual activity. Id leak word that I dont want my players doing the 10-toed monster before the combine (with the exception of players in committed marriages like Derek Carr) and then find out whose been spending more time working on the 3 hole punch then the 3 cone drill. There sexaul activity has nothing to do with football playing but they need to show me discipline. Id drop a Clowney or a Bridgewater clean off if I found out they were having sex, the world is filled with guys who cant follow directions and I want a guy whose more concerned being first in/last out in my weight room then in some coed whose someones daughter.
Maybe I'm just old fashion.
So Seantrell Henderson is caught doping up weed before the biggest job interview of his life, and the only consequence hes going to suffer is maybe a later draft position and several million dollars? Im sorry but is our country going crazy? Why is the NFL not sharing this conclusive evidents with proper law enforcement? I think we can all remember that Department of Homeland Securty was created so that Law Enforcement offices could share information. Disclosing drug arrests will be important to prevent a nother 9/11 (by 9/11 I mean Steve McNair/DeSean Jackson) from happening.
More importantly I believe the NFL has reached a tipping point in amount of players like Von Miller (Bong Filler) and Brandon Brown(Green)er. NFL should move to qiuckly amend the CBA so that any time they flush a toilet there technically destroying evidence. Its really not that hard,, just give them all a live in drug test collector with a deep walk-in deep freeze and a few hundred empty bottles of Mr Pibb. The NFL is a business league and if youve got players treating it like a methadone clinic I can tell you that your going to lose the diehard fans who remember when the game was different and clean when we had types like Lawrence Taylor and John Riggins playing the sport the way it was meant to be played.