Boston College knocked off Northeastern in a 7-6 thriller to win the Beanpot in TD Banknorth Garden on Monday Night. It's the first time since the 1960s that BC has won back-to-back Beanpots, and if you're not from Boston and have no idea what that means, then just know that it's a hockey tournament played every year between BC, BU, Harvard, and Northeastern, and it's a lot cooler than it sounds.
It's like March Madness for massholes, and every year, it manages to be crazy. In the second period alone Monday night, there were five goals. And it all came down to overtime, when Jimmy Hayes scored to give the Eagles the win, and Masshole bragging rights for the second straight year. You can check out full coverage at SB Nation Boston. Now let's peer in on a post-Beanpot conversation from the Hub City.
BC Fan: YOU'S NORTHEASTUHRN (expletive) AH NOT ON OW-AH LEVEL WHEN IT COMES TO PLAYIN PUCK. YOU NEVAH STOOD A CHANCE AGAINST JERRY YORK AND OW-AH EAGLES. DEFENDING CHAMPS, KIDDDD. HOW DO YOU SPELL DYNASTY?
Northeastern fan: (laughing) OK, SMAHT GUY, TELL ME HOW.
BC FAN: BBBBBBBB-CCCCCCCCCC. TWO LETTERS, PAL. YOU ONLY NEED TWO LETTERS.
Northeastern fan: YOU KNOW THE GAME WENT TO OT, RIGHT?! YOU'S GUYS GOT LUCKY, AND THE REFS GAVE US NO RESPECT. WE GET NO RESPECT. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
BC Fan: WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
(puts thumbs in both ears, continues shouting)
Northeastern: YOU AND YA RICH BOYS CAN GO LIVE UP ON THE NORTH SHORE WITH TAWMMY BRADY AND YA UGGS. WE AH REAL WORK-AHS AT NORTHEASTERN.
BC Fan: SAAAAAAAAAAAFETY SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. SUCKS TO B-U, SUCKS TO BE NORTHEASTUHRN, SUCKS TO BE HAHHHH-VAHRD WITH ALL THOSE BOOKS AND MAHKY MAHK ZUCKAHBERG STEALIN IDEAS ALL THE TIME.
BU Fan: WE MAY HAVE LAWST THE BEANPAWT, BUT WE PRE-GAME HAHD-AH THAN YOU PAHHTY, PAL. JERRY YORK IS A SISSY IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING, AND NO ONE DENIES THIS.
Harvard Fan: ...what is a sissy in sheep's clothing? You know that's not an expression, right? In any event, I'd just like to say that the carnival atmosphere at TD Banknorth was positively delightful, and though only two teams could win, I think we all deserve congratulations for a night of communal celebration, and upholding the lofty tradition set forth by our predecessors.
BU Fan: OH LOOK-Y HERE AT SMAHHTY PANTS USING WORDS LIKE PRE-DA-CESSAHS.
Northeastern Fan: HEY HAHVAHD, YOU SPENT 2 MILLION DOLLAHS ON AN EDUCATION YOU COULDA GOT FOR 20 DOLLAHS IN LATE CHAHGES DOWN AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY. HOW BOUT THEM APPLES PAL? I GOT HER NUMBAH!
Harvard Fan: Jesus Christ. I hate it here sometimes. Don't you people have homes?
BU Fan: I HAVE A HOME. LOWELL, MASSACHUSETTS PAL. HOME OF MICKEY WARRRRRRD. BORN TO BE HATED, DYIN TO BE LOVED, AND WUHRKIN WITH MY HANDS TILL THE DAY I DIE.
Northeastern Fan: YOU AH NOT AS BLUE COLLAH AS I AM. I'M FROM REVERE BEACH AND I GREW UP IN A FOSTAH HOME. I'M AN UNEMPLOYED ALCAHAWLIC AND ALL I NEED IN THIS WORLD IS A PACK OF NEWPORTS, THE SAWX, AND A REASON TO LAY YOU OUT.
BU Fan: I AM MORE BLUE-COLLAH THAN YOU AND I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT FIRST.
Northeastern Fan: YOU WANNA GO, PAL?
BU Fan: READY WHEN YOU AH, BUD.
Northeastern Fan: SAY THE WORD, SLICK.
BU Fan: OKAY CHAMP, PUT YA DUKES UP.
(both men flail in opposite directions, crumble to the floor)
Harvard Fan: Okay, as much fun as it's been to mix with the locals, I think it's time for me to head back to Cambridge. See you guys at the Stockyards, I suppose. (chuckles, finishes glass of Sherry)
BC Fan: HEY HAHHHH-VAD, HOW DO YOU SPELL DYNASTY?