Thrashers Rapidly Running Out Of Atlanta Celebrities For Ownership Rumors

Individuals who have reportedly been interested in keeping the Thrashers in Atlanta: former Braves pitcher Tom Glavineformer Bruins and Oilers winger Anson Carter and an actor named Stephen Rollins. In addition, rumored potential buyers have included Ted Turner, a shadowy figure code-named "The Balkan" who was probably invented by a local AM radio host, and today's greatest rumor ever: a power combo of Jerry Bruckheimer and Lil Jon. WHAAA-BOOOM.

So: who else around here has $110 million sitting around, besides Joe Johnson?

If you could round up the city's 110 richest rappers plus Ryan Seacrest and Ed Helms and a couple pro wrestlers, you could probably afford to keep the team around for a few years. T.I.'s legal troubles may have been the death stroke of a potential rapper-funded hockey team, though.

Tyler Perry is probably the best bet. Would say Elton John or Chipper Jones, but Perry could probably buy the entire NHL if he really wanted to. I pray we don't reach the point at which Jeff Foxworthy is our only hope, however.

The other day somebody from far, far out of town suggested Evander Holyfield. Let's move on.

The Paula Deen empire might be able to purchase the team, though this would require playing on a rink made entirely of buttered fried butter. S. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, would be a much healthier alternative.

Also, don't underestimate the potential of Jane Fonda buying the team just to spite Ted, which would be the most Savannah story ever.

For more Thrashers, join Bird Watchers Anonymous and SB Nation Atlanta. For more hockey, visit SB Nation's NHL hub.

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