Oh man. There can never be enough English translations of Russian Alex Ovechkin interviews. The latest comes from here, and a reporter named Elena Khanian, who spoke to Ovechkin before he left for America, and it's full of Ovechkinisms from start to finish.
Like this, on why he loves America:
Have to say, it is very nice in America, it's incredibly comfortable to live in the country where everything is thought of. At first I was amazed that people here seemed stilled, nobody was in a hurry. Then I realized that different services have provided them with all the details, that's why Americans can afford not to hurry anywhere. They have all sorts of cool innovations.
Do you really think there's something that will never be thought of in Moscow?
Well... how to say it. I guess not. Here, in the capital of America, you can order almost any product through the Internet, so everybody does it. It saves a lot of time. In our capital, it is not so large-scale...
Everything is thought of!
I'm not even that big of a hockey fan, but I could listen to Alex Ovechkin talk about pretty much anything. You come for the broken grammar, you stay for the random exclamation points, and leave with a lifetime of accidental wisdom from a two-time NHL MVP.
Here he is speaking on his new goalie:
Yes, this is an incredible goalie! I'm happy now that he plays for me, not against me! I was so glad that Washington was able to entice him, at first I did not even believe it. My friends and I learned it by accident; we were in a restaurant and one of us had nothing to do but read the news on the Internet from his mobile phone. And then he caught a headline that my team signed Vokoun. To be honest, at first I thought it was a joke, this couldn't happen. I even called general manager to double-check. We got a lot stronger from that last trade. And I hope it will make us closer to the long-awaited victory.
On getting a key to the city:
Yes, it was wonderful. But the keys, incidentally, were not symbolic! Ha ha, because of them I was allowed to rule the city as I wish. But for only one day.
On whether he's gained too much weight this summer:
...There recently was a case: I was giving an interview and it was recorded on video for our official site, I was shot looking so fat, my dear mother! And my hands looked swollen, like I was a hardened drinker. My teammates were teasing, saying "Sasha, why did you put on weight?"
You really have a reason because this summer you've started to advertise the American chocolates.
Actually I love acting in commercials and I see no shame in that. But how could I gain wieght from these chocolates? Look at my stomach, is anything wrong with it? (Taking advantage of Ovechkin's kindness, I am not only look but touch his belly, washboard abs, nothing to worry about. Sasha is pleased with a little experiment too.) That's right, please emphasize in your interview that I have no problems with weight!
And best of all, on his love life:
Of course, I will get married. But not as soon as one would like it. Or I wouldn't like it soon (laughs). I am a family man. I do not want to be considered a womanizer or a ladies' man. I do not want to be attributed to romances that I never had. And example for me is my parents, who have created a strong family for life.
And yet who you like more, our girls or Americans?
Ours, no options. I think I will only marry a Russian, well, I mean, a girl from Russia. Russians are sincere, understanding and cook well.
To be clear: He might love America, but he clearly still has a soft spot for Russian women. You check out the full interview here, and on another note, in case you'd forgotten, Alex Ovechkin is still, pound for pound, quote for quote, the funniest person in all of sports.