SB Nation - Michal Handzus

Kings Gameday: Replacing Wayne & I Heart Cliche

RudyKelly — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:34:10 -0000

Next Game

Monday, Dec 14, 2009, 7:00 PM PST
General Motors Place

-Not to put a damper on the whole "Kings are in 1st place (and the Ducks are in last)" thing, but I'm still really bummed about Wayne Simmonds. There are injuries that you hate to hear about because it hurts your team (Ryan Smyth), and there are injuries you hate because you just feel bad for the guy. I feel bad for Simmonds. I mean, hes only 21 and he's been the driving force behind the team for 3 weeks, but now his whole season is probably lost. He'll be back in about 6 weeks but it usually takes a lot longer for a player to feel comfortable after a knee injury. Will he still have the same explosiveness? Will he still play with the same fearlessness? I don't know. I'm scared. Poor little guy.

-On the plus side, Simmonds' injury does open the door for yet another call up from Manchester to either play great or get injured in their first game. I really, really hope they end up calling Marc-Andre Cliche for a shot. If you don't remember, Cliche was one of the people involved in the Sean Avery trade and he was the shutdown center for Canada during the World Junior Championships in 2007. I have an unreasonable and unrequited love for Cliche and I am convinced he is going to take Jarret Stoll's place as the shutdown center for the Kings some day. Call up Cliche, so that I may unfairly credit him for fortuitous bounces and concoct elaborate scenarios to justify him staying up with the Kings.

-With Simmonds out I think it's only a matter of time before Alex Frolov is put back alongside Michal Handzus. Terry Murray loves spreading out the scoring and that line is going to look pretty weak unless someone is moved down to shore it up. Oddly enough, I kind of think the Kings should look at replacing Kopitar, not Simmonds. I think Fro and Justin Williams have a lot of chemistry together and the Kings should think about keeping them together. When Smyth gets back I wouldn't mind seeing:

Smyth-Kopitar-Purcell/Moller/Me

Frolov-Stoll-Williams

Parse-Handzus-Brown

Ivanans-Cliche (hooray!)-NOT Harrold

I don't know, just a thought.

Marketing Exec: "Well, we've been at this for 3 days and we still don't have anything. C'mon guys, this is important. If you can't come up with something then I'll find someone who will!" *leaves, slams door

Copy Writer #1: "Jesus, this is ridiculous. Guess we better start preparing our resumes."

Copy Writer #2: "I mean, what does he want from us? We're not geniuses. We've given him 30 different titles and we still can't find one he likes."

Copy Writer #3: "I know. Oh well, I'll put on another cup of coffee. ...Eek!"

Copy Writer #2: "What's wrong?"

Copy Writer #3: "Ahh, nothing, I just burned my hand a little. Boy, that was embarrassing. I think I squeaked instead of yelling."

Copy Writer #1: "Wait a minute... squeak... sequel... I'VE GOT IT!!! LET'S CALL OUR MOVIE 'THE SQUEAKQUEL!!!!'"

Copy Writer #3: " The Squeakquel... why, that's genius! You've done it! We're saved!"

Copy Writer #2: "To The Squeakquel!"

Copy Writers #1, 2 and 3: "Huzzah!" *clink coffee cups together

***

"'Joe,' our driver, was willing. His name was not really 'Joe,' but that's what we'd been instructed to call him. I had talked to the FoMoCo boss the night before, and when he mentioned the driver he was assigning to us he said, 'His real name is Steve, but you should call him Joe.'

"'Why not?' I said. 'We'll call him anything he wants. How about Zoom?'

"'No dice,' said the Ford man. 'It has to be Joe.'"

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I don't know why but that kills me every time I read it.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-2. Goals by Parse, Kopitar, Doughty and Moller.

Stars Remain Winless Against Kings After Another Shootout Loss

Brandon Worley — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 06:27:47 -0000

More photos » by Jason Redmond - AP

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Note: Due to broadcast issues, Defending Big D was unable to see the game tonight in it's entirety. As such, the game recap will be brief.

Remember how strange things always seem to happen against the Kings in Staples Center? Well, that 'curse' struck again Saturday night as the Stars lost yet another game in the shootout. With the Stars playing as good a road game as you could hope for in the second game of a back-to-back and enjoying a 2-1 lead, Anze Kopitar tied the game with seven seconds remaining in the second period. The goal not only evened the score, but negated a solid effort by the Stars through two periods and put the game right back at square zero headed into the third period.

Once again, the Stars would find themselves in overtime. Alex Auld and Jonathan Quick were good in the extra period and, yet again, the Stars went to the shootout. This time, the Matt Niskanen magic didn't work as he failed to score in the third round, while Michal Handzus opened up the fourth round with a nifty backhand goal. The game fell on Mike Ribeiro's shoulders, and it looked as if he had indeed scored when the puck bounced off his skate and past Quick. Yet the officials ruled that when Quick poked the puck away, a save was made and therefore the 'rebound' goal was negated.

[Update by Brandon Bibb at 12:51 am CST] The NHL dedicates an entire section of it's rulebook to penalty shots.

This section pretty much clears up any controversy surrounding whether or not the officials on the ice made the correct ruling:

25.2 Procedure - The Referee shall ask to have announced over the public address system the name of the player designated by him or selected by the team entitled to take the shot (as appropriate). He shall then place the puck on the center face-off spot and the player taking the shot will, on the instruction of the Referee (by blowing his whistle), play the puck from there and shall attempt to score on the goalkeeper. The puck must be kept in motion towards the opponent’s goal line and once it is shot, the play shall be considered complete. No goal can be scored on a rebound of any kind (an exception being the puck off the goal post or crossbar, then the goalkeeper and then directly into the goal), and any time the puck crosses the goal line or comes to a complete stop, the shot shall be considered complete.

Emphasis mine.

Simply put, as soon as Quick made contact with the puck and deflected it backwards, it didn't matter that the puck deflected off Ribeiro's skate and in. The play was over before the puck even got to Ribs' skate.

Whether it's a good rule, OTOH, is certainly up for debate.

[End of update]

It was a tough loss for the Stars, yet you have to be somewhat pleased with the overall effort. The Stars fell victim once more to a late period goal that turned the tide of the game, and the scored just two goals for the 12th time in 19 games; this vaunted offense we've been promised and hoping for has fallen apart over the past month.

The Stars now have three days off before facing Carolina on Wednesday night.

Ales Hemsky - WOWY Analysis

Scott Reynolds — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:50:32 -0000

Word came from the Oilers yesterday that Ales Hemsky has a torn labrum and is going to be undergoing surgery on his shoulder and will miss five to six months which means he should be back in time for the playoffs. Sorry. Black humour. The straw that broke the camel's back was a hit by Michal Handzus in the game a couple of nights ago against Los Angeles but both Ales Hemsky and Steve Tambellini made it clear that the problem had been ongoing and the problem needed to be fixed regardless. The general mood around the team is that this is it, the Oilers are done and heading for the lottery. After all, Hemsky really is capable of playing tough minutes to a draw or better more often than not, he's the team's best offensive player and the key cog on the power play. Saying the impact will be "big" seems like an understatement. In order to get a better idea of what impact this injury might have on the team going forward I decided to use a method called "With of Without You" which will look at the team's goal differential when Hemsky has been in the lineup and when Hemsky has been out of the lineup over the last four seasons. I would have preferred to use shots on goal with the score tied but didn't have the data at hand. The results after the jump.

I was introduced to this method by a Gabe Desjardins article on Saku Koivu and he was introduced to the method by Tom Tango (who used the method in his work on baseball). Thanks very much to both of them. Anyway, back to Hemsky. These results are for the 2006-07 season through the 2008-09 season so far. I decided not to use data from the 2005-06 season because (1) Hemsky played in 81 of the games that year and (2) that team was significantly better than the teams that followed it and I thought including that season would unfairly juice Hemsky's numbers. The analysis would be helped with a few more games of Hemsky out of the lineup but, as an Oiler fan, I'm not about to get too upset at Hemsky for being too durable. All of the goal differential numbers do not include shootout goals. So here's the data:

When I first looked at the "With Hemsky" numbers I was shocked at how bad they were. I was then heartened somewhat after looking at the "Without Hemsky" numbers. It's not Hemsky that's bad, it's the Oilers! It turns out that without Hemsky in the lineup both teams score less. In the case of the opposition, they score a bit less while the Oilers score a lot less. This wasn't true to form yesterday but it seems that for the rest of the year Oiler fans can look forward to lower-scoring hockey games.

Edit Alert: I edited this paragraph extensively after Tyler Dellow made some corrections to my math in the comments. As for Hemsky's impact, it's pretty large, namely ~~0.15~~ 0.25 goal differential per game. That would put Hemsky's contribution over the Oilers replacement for him at ~~12.3~~ 20.5 goal differential over an 82 game season. If we assume that 3 6 goal differential is equal to about one win that puts Hemsky's contribution to the team at about ~~4.0~~ 3.4 wins or ~~8.0~~ 7.2 points above his replacements. That is an enormous difference, much more than I would have guessed. Let the death march continue.

Edmonton - Los Angeles post-mortem: frustration

Bruce McCurdy — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 06:43:24 -0000

More photos » by John Ulan - AP

Shawn Horcoff and the Oilers couldn't find any room against the Kings on Wednesday, suffering a 3-1 regulation loss on home ice and losing star forward Ales Hemsky in the process. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, John Ulan)

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It's a hopeless feeling when it's still bloody November and you're already resigned to your team being out of contention. But that's exactly how I feel right now. Frustrated.

Another night, another winnable game lost in regulation, another key player sidelined with injury. For at least the third time this year we saw an Oiler leave a game after being sent head first into the boards on a hit from behind. This time it was none other than Ales Hemsky, not only a key to Edmonton's offence but a key to making Oiler games fit to watch. This one certainly wasn't after Ales was helped off, a victim of Michal Handzus's cheap and dangerous crosscheck that catapulted him into the end boards. For which, predictably, Handzus was given a 2-minute slap on the wrist, returning to play a key role on the game-winning goal. Meanwhile, in Washington Alex Ovechkin was given 5 minutes for a much less dangerous hit on agitator Patrick Kaleta, who never missed a shift. But if it's an Oiler who is showing his numbers, it's open season out there. Frustrating.

It also hurt to see Matt Greene cap a splendid game by scoring the winning goal in the dying minutes. Greene became the third recent ex-Oiler to score a game-winner in Rexall in this calendar year, joining Raffi Torres and Marty Reasoner who also scored late tie-breaking goals to send the faithful grumbling into the night. If those bums had scored while they were here they might never have been traded in the first place. Greene was all over the scoresheet with 6 attempted shots, 4 hits, 5 blocked shots, +2, and of course that game winning goal. He was a much greater force in this game than Lubomir Visnovsky, the guy Oilers traded Greene AND Jarret Stoll to obtain. Frustrating.

Worse was that the winner came in regulation time in a game both teams seemed to be nursing to OT. But in a few seconds what was left of the first line lost their composure and their shape in Oilers' end, with all 5 guys being sucked over to Wayne Simmonds' side of the ice opening the door for Greene to walk in and blast the best shot of his Rexall Place career. So the Oilers came away with nothing, dropping a point to conference rivals Minnesota, Colorado, and St.Louis, all of whom were rewarded for managing to "lose" their games in extra time. Frustrating.

Oilers were once again dominated on the shot clock, allowing double digits in each period while never managing more than 8 shots themselves for a final margin of 35-23. It was another tough night for Liam Reddox, outshot 7-0 in his 7:18 at even strength with another atrocious Corsi of -10. In the last 3 games Reddox has been on the ice for just 7 attempted shots by the Oilers and a staggering 46 by the bad guys. After his recall Reddox showed just enough to make me care about him, but has not resembled an NHL player of late. Frustrating.

Jeff Deslauriers played moderately well, making many fine stops among his 33 saves but undoing his work by absolutely seiving in a long slider from Simmonds which tied the score in the second, then getting beat clean by Matt Greene of all people with the game on the line. Frustrating.

So now Oilers are 4/5 of the way through the home stand with an uninspiring 2-2-0 record, a tilt against the powerful Sharks looming. It's been five long weeks, 16 games and counting since the last time the squad won 2 in a row. Did I mention I'm getting frustrated?

League Leaders: Wraparounds

Hawerchuk — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:00:35 -0000

More photos » by Carlos Osorio - AP

6 months ago: Detroit Red Wings' Marian Hossa (81), of Slovakia, pushes the puck away from Chicago Blackhawks' Patrick Kane (88) during an attempt at a wraparound in front of goalie Chris Osgood during the second period of Game 2 of the NHL hockey Western Conference finals in Detroit, Tuesday, May 19, 2009. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

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What can you say about wraparounds? You just don't see them very often anymore. As a distinct type of shot, they're by far the least common of those tracked by the NHL. And, as it turns out, they're not a particularly high-percentage play:

	ES	ES		PP	PP
	SOG	G	SPCT	SOG	G	SPCT
Total	3673	197	5.3	407	35	8.4
Home	1905	108	5.7	228	18	7.9
Away	1768	89	5.0	179	16	8.9

So who leads the league in these low-percentage shots? Again, there's somewhat of a bias at some rinks, so let's look at wraparounds on the road since the lockout:

	Wraparounds	Goals
Ryan Smyth	31	2
Eric Staal	25	4
Richard Zednik	23	0
Jason Blake	22	1
Rick Nash	22	1
Tim Taylor	21	0
Brett McLean	21	1
Thomas Vanek	20	0
Michal Handzus	19	1
Marian Hossa	18	0

Smyth is again the league leader, but he hasn't been particularly effective. If we include wraparounds credited to him by his home scorer and his itchy trigger finger, Smyth is just 5-for-89 (5.6%) since the lockout. Zednik is 0-for-40. Bottom line: the wraparound was a cute move in 1980; now everybody knows it's coming.

Poll

Wraparounds - waste of effort?

yes

11 votes

no

10 votes

they worked great for me when I was nine years old

14 votes

35 votes | Poll has closed

Let's Do Some Lines

RudyKelly — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:25:21 -0000

More photos » by Jason Redmond - AP

From left to right: Yay!, Boo!, Yay! (AP Photo/Jason Redmond)

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In the first period, the first line of Smyth-Kopitar-Williams dominated play, scoring three goals in only 6 minutes of ice time. Smyth had the first goal, a nice deflection of a Jack Johnson shot. Then Justin Williams scored, again on a nice deflection, this time of a shot by Drew Doughty. Then Anze Kopitar got in on the act, burying a cross-ice pass by Ryan Smyth and finishing a beautiful breakout started by Kopitar himself.

In the second period, the second line of Frolov-Handzus-Simmonds tagged the Wild for another goal. This one was started off a turnover caused by Alexander Frolov, which was collected by Meat Train Simmonds. Meat gave the puck back to Fro, who waited and waited until Michal Handzus found a hole in the defensive coverage. Handzus received the pass, fought off a defender and put the puck through the 5-hole and into the net. The line was on the ice for about 15 1/2 minutes of even-strength time and once again paired up against the other team's top line and once again did not allow an even-strength goal.

In the third period, the third line of Purcell-Stoll-Brown iced the game with a pretty goal on a 2-on-1. The odd-man rush was caused by Dustin Brown, who managed to get the puck through a Wild defender after a bad pass and relayed it to a streaking Jarret Stoll. Stoll slipped a pass through a Wild defenseman to a wide open Ted "Bailey" Purcell*, who slammed the puck home. Brown had a great game last night, while Purcell had an outstanding defensive effort.

*My brother sent me a text last night that said, "When Purcell scores he should ride around on an ATV." I think that's a good idea.

The Kings won last night because they had better forwards than the Minnesota Wild. The Wild tried to avoid the fate of the San Jose Sharks by splitting up their top line to get away from Fro-Hand-Meat, but the result was that they didn't have one line strong enough to stop Smyth-Kopitar-Williams from running roughshod over their defense. Then, while the Wild were focusing on matching up with those two lines, the Purcell-Stoll-Brown line snuck in a goal to put the game away. Terry Murray has been doing an excellent job of balancing his lines and has used his 4th line sparingly since the top 3 lines are soo effective. The only 4th liner who saw any extended time was Brad Richardson in the 3rd period, who had a very good night. It'll be interesting to see how the Kings fare on the road, when the opposing team gets last change, but right now I'm not too worried about any of our top 3 lines. Holy hell, when was the last time I said that?

The defense was better with the return of Sean O'Donnell. Both power play goals you can pin on Davis Drewiske, and I can't say I understand why he was out there in the first place. Granted, Sean O'Donnell and Jack Johnson were in the box for both goals, but it seemed like Murray would have put Drewiske out with Rob Scuderi no matter what. I know Drew Doughty and Jack Johnson both play the power play, but there's no reason Drewiske should be out on the penalty kill over either one. I think that might change by Saturday.

Jonathan Quick had another game where he let in some goals but overall didn't look bad. He had a one-timer and two deflections right to the stick of a Wild player and he didn't have much of a shot on any of them. His rebounds were a little out there, but he doesn't usually have that problem. Hopefully he can get a save percentage over 90% in a game sometime soon.

Good day all around: Dodgers win because Matt Holliday tried to catch a baseball with his vagina, Kings win, Jim & Pam get married... man, who needs a life when you can watch TV?

My absolute favorite moment of yesterday happened during the Dodgers game. Loretta's up with the game on the line, tension everywhere... and I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this:

What the hell is (I think it's) Orlando Hudson doing? It's like he's moving the ball onto Loretta's bat with his mind. Maybe he noticed Manny was picking his nose and is trying to let us know. It's not like he looked like that for a split second, either; he held that face for like 4 whole seconds. I don't know, I thought it was hilarious.

Kings Gameday- Ballistic: Sleek vs. Kelly

RudyKelly — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:01:22 -0000

Los Angeles Kings vs. Phoenix Coyotes

7:30 PST, Fox Sports West

Left to right: Earl, Rudy, Rudy's pec's

As you all know, Earl and I hate one another. Maybe it was the time I slept with his sister, or the time I slept with his mom, or the time I slept with him... the point is, we don't like each other. We begrudgingly work together because, for some reason, ranting and cursing only goes well when it's balanced by puns and cartoons. Things finally boiled over recently, however, and we almost came to blows. Cooler heads prevailed (his, because I would destroy him) and we settled our latest disagreement with a bet.

The bet is simple: if the Kings finish higher than the Ducks, I win.

If the Ducks finish higher than the Kings, I don't win.

It's the 2nd greatest bet of all time, behind the bet in Can't Hardly Wait (I'm Freddy Prinze, Jr.). The terms of the bet? Simple, yet devastating: sig change. If I win, Earl has to change his signature to something embarrassing for the entire off-season. If Earl doesn't lose, I have to change my sig to something like, "The only things smoother than Corey Perry's skating skills are his balls on my chin."

And this is where you come in.

We are asking you, our smokin' hot readers, to come up with some ideas for good signatures that I one of us will wear in shame at the end of the season. Post your ideas in the comments and we'll have a vote when I one of us loses in April. My original idea for Earl was, "I sure do deserve a 'pun'ch to the face," but I know you can do better.

-The Kings have decided their 4th line for tonight's game and I'm this close to being excited. They're playing Brad Richardson at center, Trevor Lewis at right wing... and Ivanans at left. Whatever. I'm still trying to run down whether or not Trevor Lewis is a wing or a center, since he's always played center but has switched over to wing this entire preseason. Oh, if only anyone important returned my e-mails!

-The Kings have a new goal song, finally ridding us of that atrocious song that has plagued rinks across the country. (You know the one, the one that kind of sucks.) They basically ripped off the "Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey!" part of the Rangers' goal song, which is fine because that is the best part of the best goal song in the world. Hey!

-If Shane Doan and Ryan Smyth collide while battling in the corner, do they turn into maple syrup?

-Speaking of Smyth, I don't know how to boo without sounding like the old lady from Princess Bride so I'm not sure how to properly show my displeasure towards him. I'm thinking I might give him the snoot salute. "Boo, Ryan Smyth, and again I say boo!"

-There's still no concrete word on what the special team lines are going to be, so it'll be interesting to see what the Kings throw out tonight. On the penalty kill I think the Kings will run Stoll-Brown and Handzus-Frolov units, with Kopitar, Williams, and Simmonds getting minutes if needed. It's interesting, the Kings have like 9 guys that can play short-handed. Oh, that's not interesting? Scew you buddy.

On the power play, I imagine the Kings will run Smyth-Kopitar-Brown-Doughty-Stoll, with Frolov-Handzus-Purcell-Johnson-Williams comprising the 2nd unit. I'm not a big fan of having a forward on the backend on both power play units, but then again I'm not a big fan of Flash Forward so what do I know.*

*I don't get this show. I've watched the first 2 episodes and the were just the worst. The acting was terrible, the humor was weird and inappropriate, and why the fuck are people driving home the day after a global disaster? I don't get shows like 24 or Lost either, so I think it's my problem. Everyone I knows seems to think it's pretty good. Oh well, at least there's Community.**

**I almost cried I was laughing so hard at the end of the last episode when the Dead Poet's Society teacher made his big speech and then started climbing a tree. Also, "I will have... a birthday cake!"

-Things you learn from NHL 10's Be a Pro Mode:

+/- is bullshit. Seriously, I have one foot on the ice when the other team scores and it's my fault?
Fuck coaches. B- in team play? I have 5 points tonight asshole! I'm demanding a trade.
Having teammates is the worst. I dance around Jay Buowmeester, fake a shot, slide the puck over to Ryan Smyth... and then he misses a wide open net. Goddammit. (That's 8.)
I'm a child. I don't care how many games I play, hitting another player after the whistle and then chasing the ref around the rink when he appears is funny as hell.
I'm also an asshole. I never knew this, but apparently I'd get like a thousand penalty minutes if I were a skater instead of a goalie. I'm supposed to be a sniper but I keep fighting. Hack my leg? I'll kill you!
Michal Handzus will always be overrated. I don't know what it is about Handzus, but he always gets overrated in video games. The guy can't skate 10 feet without giving away the puck in real life, but put him in a video game and he's a superstar. I think he has 10 goals in the 3 games I've played with him. It's probably because he makes over $4 million dollars a year so people assume he's awesome.
Seriously, +/- is bullshit. I'm blanketing my guy at the point, how the fuck am I supposed to prevent that goal?????? I'm demanding a trade.

-Kings game tonight. I'm trying to think of a Kings team I've liked as much as I like this one, but I'm coming up with a blank. I mean, I hate Ryan Smyth, Jack Johnson is a douche bag and Peter Harrold is terrible but other than that I love everyone on this team.

Kopitar's the future.

Justin Williams looks like the villian in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

Ted Purcell is tantalizingly talented and I hope for the best.

Dustin Brown is the captain, bold and moral.

Michal Handzus looks like Beeker from the Muppets.

Jarret Stoll... he's there.

Alex Frolov is my high school girlfriend.

Wayne Simmonds is the meat train.

Raitis Ivanans eats shoes.

Brad Richardson is probably of Norwegian descent and is thus cool in my book.

Trevor Lewis is a big mother fucker and will hopefully be a badass shutdown player in the future.

Drew Doughty once made a mistake; he said he wasn't amazing when he was 7.

Sean O'Donnell is an angry old goat who once kicked an ogre's ass.

Matt Greene is a future angry old goat.

Rob Scuderi is an angry goat.

Davis Drewiske... is also there.

MEAT TRAIN!!!!!!!!

Jonathan Quick makes amazing saves and has giant ears.

Erik Ersberg gets carded when he goes to R-rated movies.

Terry Murray always looks like a meerkat when he thinks he's spotted a grub. The meerkat Terry Murray, not actual Terry Mur... wait, hold on.

Yep, I think this may be my favorite Kings' team of all time. Maybe it's coloring my predictions for this season, but I do honestly think the Kings are going to make the playoffs this season.

The Kings have a mountain to climb.

Let's climb it.

You are Bold, Yes...

RudyKelly — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:24:29 -0000

But are you Daring?

Bold Predictions

-Anze Kopitar will score 80 points or more.

-Wayne Simmonds will score 30 points.

-Justin Williams will play less than 60 games.

-Ryan Smyth will make me say, "Goddammit," over 100 hundred times. (I'm already at 7.)

-Jack Johnson will score over 30 points and I will still hate him.

-Either Ryan Getzlaf or Scott Niedermayer will miss more than 15 games.

-The Sharks will trade for Dany Heatley, strip their captain of his responsibility, change the culture in their locker room... and lose their first game to the Avalanche.

-Ted Purcell will not score more than 42 points.

-Sean O'Donnell will begin as a #2 defenseman this season and end as a #6.

-Thomas Hickey will be a breakout player this season.

-Alex Frolov will do everythng right and yet still get criticized.

-Rob Scuderi will be the new scapegoat.

-Corey Perry will miss time when he is beaten half to death... by his own team.

-Jonathan Quick will play well this season.

-Jonathan Bernier will be the Kings' starting goaltender by the end of the year.

-No one will understand the reference I made in the title.*

*I don't understand why Doritos abandoned that ad campaign. I thought it was hilarious. Take this commercial as an example. It was the 3rd best food ad campaign after the glorious Emerald Nuts campaign and those creepy Cheetos commercials.

-Jarret Stoll will score 20 goals this season but still no one will like him.

-Joe Thornton will go on a scoring tear and will be seen around town with a 19-year old man named Slade.

-Michal Handzus will miss games with an injury.

-The Kings will be on the power play and pass it between their two defenseman before taking a weak shot from the the blue line that is easily blocked. The Kings will get the rebound and repeat. (Wait, that's not bold.)

-Richard Clune will only play 40-45 games this season and yet have over 10 fights.

-Raitis Ivanans will play more than 65 games and yet have less than 10 fights.

-Trevor Lewis will play limited minutes but his season will still be considered a success.

-Peter Harrold will play more than limited minutes but his season will be considered a waste.

-The Kings will be out of the playoffs most of the year but will make a post-Olympic run to the playoffs.

-The Dallas Stars will start off strong but then realize their season rests on the shoulders of Marty Turco and Alex Auld. They will then tumble, tumble, tumble.

-The Anaheim Ducks will miss the playoffs.

-The Kings will lose in the first round of the playoffs to the eventual champions: the San Jose Sharks.

-After finally getting over the hump, Sharks fans will somehow become more insufferable.

Kings Pre-Season Gameday: Feel the Excitement!

RudyKelly — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:17:05 -0000

More photos » by Mark J. Terrill - AP

"Watch out, a bee!" "Oh no, I'm allergic!"

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Los Angeles Kings vs. San Jose Sharks

Citizen's Business Bank Arena- Ontario, CA, 7:30 PST 1150AM

The Kings have their 2nd, 3rd, something preseason game tonight against the San Jose Sharks. Smyth-Kopitar-Williams are getting a break tonight, as is Michal Handzus, while Jarret Stoll is still out with olditis. Rich Hammond is reporting the lines as follows:

Purcell-Moller-Brown
Frolov-Loktionov-Simmonds
Clifford-Schenn-Lewis
Ivanans-Cliche-Segal

Johnson-Drewiske
O'Donnell-Doughty
Campbell-Mullen

Quick
Bernier

So basically, it's the 2nd line (at least until Stoll gets back), 2/3rds of the 3rd line, and Raitis. The only real interesting thing to me is that this is the 2nd time Marc-Andre Cliche has centered the 4th line with Ivanans, giving me misguided hope that he has a shot at making the team. Which led to this thought: if Marc-Andre Cliche and Marc-Edouard Vlasic go into the corner to fight for the puck, how do they decide who gets it? I like to think they'll joust for it, with Cliche and Vlasic riding Ivanans and Shelley as their respective noble steeds.

On defense, Matt Greene and Rob Scuderi get a break, while Quick will probably play all game in goal.

On the Sharks end... whoops, forgot, I don't give a fuck.

Prediction: Some guy will score, another will do that one thing where they kinda wave their hand at the puck, and some guy will do... you know, that thing, with the stick.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

RudyKelly — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 15:39:39 -0000

Training camp opens today! Yes, folks, the ice is forming, the weather's dropping, you can see people getting their cars ready for a long winter... haha, just kidding, it'll be like 75 degrees today. But camp is starting, and that means real, honest to god hockey is right around the corner.

The Kings have split themselves up into 3 groups, colorfully named A, B, and C. They're mostly random, but I wouldn't be doing my job as a team-centric hockey blogger if I didn't needlessly overanalyze every little thing.

Group A Notable Names: Brayden Schenn, Anze Kopitar, Ryan Smyth, Justin WIlliams, Jack Johnson, Rob Scuderi, Thomas Hickey, Colten Teubert, Drew Bagnall, Jon Quick, Peter Harrold

Thoughts: Kopitar will start camp with Smyth and Williams on his wings, as Terry Murray hopes they can congeal into a #1 line. Brayden Schenn is sharing camp with Kopitar and can hopefully learn a little from the talented center. Jack Johnson and Rob Scuderi are with one another, perhaps signalling that they might form a defensive pairing; or, alternatively, they might be paired with 3 young defensemen who have the best shot at making the team to see if those young men are ready to make the team.

Peter Harrold is listed as a center. What?

Group B Notable Names: Jon Bernier, Jeff Zatkoff, Matt Greene, Davis Drewiskie, Oscar Moller, Jarret Stoll, Dustin Brown, Ted Purcell

Thoughts: This is the 2nd line tryout group, with Stoll, Brown, Moller, and Purcell all present. 3 of those 4 should comprise the Kings' 2nd line. It's interesting that Moller is listed as a center, perhaps signalling that the rumors Stoll might not be ready for camp are true. Drewiskie is known as a defensive defenseman, as is Greene, and the Kings could be taking a look at making them their shutdown pair. While Jonathan Quick is given the young John-Francois Berube, Jon Bernier is paired with Jeff Zatkoff; they will likely be partners down in Manchester this season unless Bernier impresses.

Group C Notable Names: Sean O'Donnell, Drew Doughty, Michal Handzus, Andrei Loktionov, Wayne Simmonds, Trevor Lewis, Brad Richardson, Alex Frolov, Marc-Andre Cliche

Thoughts: This line-up is less filled with intrigue than the other two. O'Donnell and Doughty are the only NHL-caliber defensemen on their squad, and are likely together not so much because they'll play together but because they're friends. This grouping does kind of give credence to what most of us had known, that Frolov will likely be paired with Handzus on the stoper line again. Richardson and Lewis are there as well, and hopefully they'll be paired together on the 4th line. Marc-Andre Cliche isn't a notable name but I've been cheering for him for years and I hope he someday makes an impression.

Finally, here's a guess as to how the line-up is going to look when camp ends (Note: not what I want, what I think will happen):

Smyth-Kopitar-Williams

Frolov-Handzus-Simmonds

Purcell-Stoll-Brown

Westgarth-Richardson-Lewis

Scuderi-Doughty

Johnson-O'Donnell

Drewiskie-Greene

Quick

Ersberg