SB Nation - Raitis Ivanans

Return of the King - Hawks 4, Kings 1

McClure — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:24:22 -0000

More photos » by Charles Rex Arbogast - AP

....and I don't mean Raitis Ivanans.For the first time in two and a half weeks, the Hawks had their captain and top center back in the lineup, and it showed. On top of winning 13 of 20 draws, Jonathan Toews added the insurance goal in what ended up as a one-sided (for the last 20 minutes) affair for the Hawks.

The first period started things off at a lively pace, with both teams trading chances and both Jonathan Quick and Cristobal Huet having an answer for all of them. While the Hawks outshot the Kings only by a 13-11 margin, the ice was tilted in the Hawks' favor the majority of the time. These were clearly not the Kings of last year, favoring a more wide-open attack, particularly while boasting the league's leading scorer in Anze Kopitar.

After a scoreless first, John Madden added a tally a little over a minute into the second frame on a backhand that farted through Quick's legs that was on a rush sprung on a rush by Duncan Keith and Troy Brouwer. LA answered about 8 minutes later when Kopitar found himself untouched on Huet's doorstep to pound home a rebound of a Drew Doughty shot after the entirety of the Hawks skaters had collapsed below the top of the rings. Huet made a few key saves to survive what was left of the second, before Patrick Sharp drew an interference call with five seconds left in the period.

On the ensuing power play in the third period, it was Sharp who found himself with time and space walking out from the left half wall to fire a wrist shot at Quick which Troy Brouwer tipped home. A couple minutes later, the Kings again found themselves shorthanded, and Jonathan Toews slid a backhander past quick after finding a loose puck alone in front of the LA net. Andrew Ebbett later netted his first as a Hawk after having a puck redirect into the goal off his nipple on a broken play. From there on out, the Kings never really mounted a threat; Hawks win 4-1.

Even with Bolland out, what a difference having Toews back makes when everyone is skating (for the most part) in their proper roles
The "Versteeg-at-center" experience lasted all of two shifts before Quenneville jumbled the shit out of the lines
Since being called out by this blog, Patrick Sharp has once again been skating like he gives a shit when he's not on Patrick Kane's line.
Good god, two moments of adequacy from the power play!
It's been real nice these past couple of weeks to have Cristobal Huet's play be an afterthought to the rest of the game.
The Hawks' defensive positioning in their own zone is really something to behold these days. At least in that aspect of the game, they're already playing like it's late May.

Player of the Game

Our Boy Troy has worked his ass off for every second of ice time he's sniffed this young season, and he was finally rewarded with significant power play time and a three-point effort. He was the first star as far as the press contingent at the UC was concerned, and he's also our first star here. Well done, sir.

Ranking the NHL's fighters

James Mirtle — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:55:54 -0000

More photos » by LM Otero - AP

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If you haven't been stopping by stats man Gabe Desjardins's pad lately, you'd be well-served to do so. He's banging out some good stuff over there.

The latest is a system of ranking fighters, one that comes up with Georges Laraque as the NHL's top heavyweight. Here's the list based on the past three seasons:

Player	Ft	In	Wt	Fights	W	L	T	GP	Fts/82
Georges Laraque	6	3	253	30	24	3	3	177	13.9
D.J. King	6	3	229	22	16	2	4	89	20.3
Derek Boogaard	6	8	257	29	21	6	2	133	17.9
Donald Brashear	6	3	234	37	23	9	5	220	13.8
Wade Belak	6	5	225	28	17	7	4	165	13.9
Milan Lucic	6	3	228	24	18	4	2	149	13.2
Aaron Downey	6	1	215	15	9	1	5	81	15.2
Raitis Ivanans	6	4	256	39	21	11	7	215	14.9
Colton Orr	6	3	222	52	31	16	5	209	20.4
Eric Godard	6	4	214	44	20	15	9	164	22.0

I'm afraid I don't quite get how the ELO rating system is coming into play here, but anything that uses chess to rank hockey fighters is all right by me.

Fighting: Just like Chess

Hawerchuk — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:15:19 -0000

by Chris Young - AP

2 months ago: Toronto Maple Leafs' Colton Orr, right, fights with Montreal Canadiens' Georges Laraque during the first period of an NHL hockey game in Toronto on Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Chris Young)

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So how do we figure out who the best fighter in the NHL is? First, we need to know who won every fight that takes place in the league. Hockey-fights.com is an absolutely indispensable resource in this regard - its users vote on who won and lost every fight. But it's not enough - a heavyweight who fights only in his weight class might have a .500 record despite being one of the better fighters in the league.

As usual, chess has the answer we're looking for: the ELO rating system, which handicaps players based on their past performance. Using ELO, the loser of a bout between top-ranked fighters will be penalized far less than if he lost to an unknown or a poor fighter. Here are the rankings for serious fighters using all fights during the 2006-07 through 2008-09 season:

Player	Ft	In	Wt	Fights	W	L	T	GP	Fights/82
Georges Laraque	6	3	253	30	24	3	3	177	13.9
D.J. King	6	3	229	22	16	2	4	89	20.3
Derek Boogaard	6	8	257	29	21	6	2	133	17.9
Donald Brashear	6	3	234	37	23	9	5	220	13.8
Wade Belak	6	5	225	28	17	7	4	165	13.9
Milan Lucic	6	3	228	24	18	4	2	149	13.2
Aaron Downey	6	1	215	15	9	1	5	81	15.2
Raitis Ivanans	6	4	256	39	21	11	7	215	14.9
Colton Orr	6	3	222	52	31	16	5	209	20.4
Eric Godard	6	4	214	44	20	15	9	164	22.0

No matter how you slice the data, Laraque was going to be #1. His 24-3-3 record against no-one but tough guys is unmatched.

And what about the less-frequent fighters?

Player	Ft	In	Wt	Fights	W	L	T	GP	Fights/82
Zdeno Chara	6	9	255	7	5	0	2	237	2.4
Sheldon Souray	6	4	233	8	7	0	1	188	3.5
Gary Roberts	6	2	215	6	5	1	0	137	3.6
Kevin Bieksa	6	0	205	15	13	1	1	187	6.6
Craig Rivet	6	2	210	13	10	0	3	209	5.1

This group definitely includes some solid fighters who've made the highlight of the night with their fists. Just missing the top five were Robyn Regehr and Rick Rypien, who fight less often but have had good success against serious fighters.

And who have been the worst fighters in the league? Presumably, legitimately bad fighters will stay away from fights! But among those who do fight repeatedly, Corey Perry (0 wins in 7 fights), Greg Campbell (1-16), Brendan Witt (1-9), Alex Burrows (0-15) and Tom Kostopoulos (1-23) stand out as particularly poor. Those decisions come from Hockeyfights.com users - if you watch the fight videos yourself, your mileage may vary.

Scenes from the Father-Son Dinner

RudyKelly — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:22:48 -0000

The Kings took their fathers on their road trip to Phoenix this past week, capping off the festivities with a grand dinner for the 16 fathers that were on the trip. I managed to swipe a waiter's outfit and was able to catch a few snippets of conversation. Here are a few things I saw and heard. Oh, and before you read, it'd probably help to read this article, or at least look at the picture.

Tim Stoll (Jarret's Dad): So, Raitis, I'm sorry to hear your dad couldn't end up making it, but I thought he was going to.

Raitis Ivanans: Well, I guess he ran into a little problem at Customs and couldn't get into the country.

Tim Stoll: Really? What happened? Does he have a record or something?

Raitis Ivanans: My dad is actually a bear, so...

Tim Stoll: Oh.

***

Bob Scuderi (Rob's Dad): Hey, Matjaz, your son's really having a great start this year!

Matjaz Kopitar (Figure it Out): Yes, yes, my young apprentice has truly seen the power of the Dark Side.

Bob Scuderi: Yeah he rea- I'm sorry, did you say Dark Side?

Matjaz Kopitar: Yes, he thought I was mistaken but it turned out he was mistaken, about a great many things!

Bob Scuderi: Uh-huh. ...Boy, that's a pretty cool cell phone ya got there, is that one of those Droid things? I thought they weren't supposed to come out for a while?

Matjaz Kopitar: Oh, I'm afraid this cellular phone is quite operational. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL phone!

Bob Scuderi: Hey, that's pretty cool!

Matjaz Kopitar: I know, I can even update my Twitter! But now I'm sorry, my pathetic Rebel friend, that the time has come; now you will DIE! Hissssss!!!!

Bob Scuderi: ...Please don't point your fingers at me, Matjaz.

Matjaz Kopitar: Hissssssssss!!!!!!!

Terry Murray: So Alexander, where's your dad, I was kinda hoping to meet him.

Alexander Frolov: *Bursts into tears

Terry Murray: *Slowly backs away

***

Jim Greene (Matt's Dad): So, Cyril, right? What is it you do?

Cyril Simmonds (Wayne's Dad): Well actually, I was a bit of a hockey player myself.

Jim Greene: Really, you're both hockey players?

Wayne Simmonds: That's right, we're black and we're hockey players. Let's not make an issue of it.

Cyril Simmonds: No one's making an issue of it, son, you're making an issue of it.

***

Paul Doughty (Drew's Dad): So son, that redesign of SBNation sure does suck, huh?

Drew Doughty: You said it, Pop.

***

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Finish the rest of that steak, son.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I don't wanna, Dad, I'm kinda full.

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Whaddaya mean, you're full? No son of mine is going to leave a plate with food on it! C'mon you limp-wristed pussy, eat that steak!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: But Dad, I'm fu-

Jack Johnson, Sr.: *smacks him I said eat it!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: *crying Alright, fine, I'll eat it!

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Atta boy. I don't know what they're teaching you down here, but men from Michigan always finish their plates.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I hate you, Dad! I hate you! *runs away

***

Bryan Brown: So... how are things?

Dustin Brown: ...Good. Mom?

Bryan Brown: She's fine. Kids?

Dustin Brown: Cool.

Bryan Brown: ...Yep.

Dustin Brown: ...Yep.

*Both drink at the same time

Gargamel Finally Caught Those Rotten Smurfs

RudyKelly — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:05:58 -0000

It's like that part in To Kill a Mockingbird where Atticus kills the rabid dog; I mean, you know he's pretty cool and everything but you never knew he could do anything like that. Raitis Ivanans was a man possessed during that sequence, frantically trying to get at Brad Staubitz* before turning his ire to an unsuspecting Jody Shelley. The best part is that Shelley grabbed him from behind and got a few licks in as soon as he turned Ivanans around, but Raitis recovered and put a beating on poor Jody. Ivanans is usually methodical when he fights, using his weight advantage to pull someone off balance before throwing a few jabs, but tonight he was trying to hurt someone.

There's absolutely no way Kevin Westgarth could fight like that. Now if only Raitis would fight like that all the time.

*What the fuck, Brad Staubitz? He just didn't know it was an icing, right? There's no way he thought it'd be a good idea to rock a defenseman who is touching up for icing while said defenseman is already engaged with another player, right? Also, it's cool that Ivanans jumped in immediately, but it's also cool that Drew Doughty and Brad Richardson did so as well.

Kings-Sharks: Exhale

RudyKelly — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:42:12 -0000

More photos » by Danny Moloshok - AP

2 months ago: Los Angeles Kings' Davis Drewiske, left, high fives Justin Williams after the Kings defeated the San Jose Sharks 6-4 in their NHL hockey game in Los Angeles on Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009. Drewiske scored his first NHL career goal in the game. (AP Photo/Danny Moloshok)

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Thoughts from tonight's ridiculous exercise:

-It's funny how a win like this can be viewed by different people. If you're a Kings fan, are you happy that your team won, no matter what? Are you upset the Kings almost blew a 4-0 lead? If you're a Sharks fan, are you upset the Sharks were so terrible 5-on-5? Or happy the power play looked so good? If you're me, you just kinda wanna go to bed.

-Jonathan Quick has a 5.00 GAA and a 83SV%. Jonathan Quick hasn't played that bad. It's been a weird season so far.

-The Kings forward lines looked really good tonight, as they greatly reduced the 4th line's ice time and pretty much rolled 3 lines all night. Fro-Hand-Meat got the main assignment against the Joe Thornton line, with Kopitar's line getting the assignment when the Sharks tried to double-shift Thornton. The result? Kings 3, Sharks 0 when those lines were on the ice.

-Kopitar made a great play at the end of the game where he beat out Marc-Edouard Vlasic on an icing call and put helped put the game on ice. He has looked great and is doing a great job around the front of the net. I don't want to get excited, but Anze Kopitar is the greatest player in the world.

-Of course, Thornton still ended up with 3 assists tonight because the Sharks destroyed the Kings while on the power play. The Kings finished 7th last season in penalty killing last season but have thus far been pretty terrible when down a man. They didn't have a problem with their penalty kill during the preseason so it could just be a small sample size issue (and San Jose's power play unit is truly exceptional) but it's something the Kings need to work on.

-The Kings need Sean O'Donnell back. He's a pretty important cog in the Kings defense, as he allows Matt Greene to play a smaller role and more importantly pushes Peter Harrold* and Alec Martinez out of the line-up. I can't wait to see the old goat back.

*Peter Harrold didn't play bad tonight.

-Raitis Ivanans: HOLY SHIT. That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire life and I once saw Earl's balls. He beat the shit out of Jody Shelley and I don't think anyone was expecting that. I've never seen Ivanans fight like that. It was like... it was like... fuck, I don't even know. It was like awesome. Jesus Raitis, play like that all the time.

-I'm not going to say that this game was a big character builder or a game we'll point to as a turning point for this team. The Kings should have won that game without difficulty and they don't get brownie points for almost blowing a game. Still, that was a game they had to win. More importantly, it was a game they really wanted to win. It was the kind of win that has been missing in LA for a while. Luck? New purpose? I don't know, but it was a helluva thing to watch.

-God, I'm so tired and I didn't even do anything.

Kings Gameday- Ballistic: Sleek vs. Kelly

RudyKelly — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:01:22 -0000

Los Angeles Kings vs. Phoenix Coyotes

7:30 PST, Fox Sports West

Left to right: Earl, Rudy, Rudy's pec's

As you all know, Earl and I hate one another. Maybe it was the time I slept with his sister, or the time I slept with his mom, or the time I slept with him... the point is, we don't like each other. We begrudgingly work together because, for some reason, ranting and cursing only goes well when it's balanced by puns and cartoons. Things finally boiled over recently, however, and we almost came to blows. Cooler heads prevailed (his, because I would destroy him) and we settled our latest disagreement with a bet.

The bet is simple: if the Kings finish higher than the Ducks, I win.

If the Ducks finish higher than the Kings, I don't win.

It's the 2nd greatest bet of all time, behind the bet in Can't Hardly Wait (I'm Freddy Prinze, Jr.). The terms of the bet? Simple, yet devastating: sig change. If I win, Earl has to change his signature to something embarrassing for the entire off-season. If Earl doesn't lose, I have to change my sig to something like, "The only things smoother than Corey Perry's skating skills are his balls on my chin."

And this is where you come in.

We are asking you, our smokin' hot readers, to come up with some ideas for good signatures that I one of us will wear in shame at the end of the season. Post your ideas in the comments and we'll have a vote when I one of us loses in April. My original idea for Earl was, "I sure do deserve a 'pun'ch to the face," but I know you can do better.

-The Kings have decided their 4th line for tonight's game and I'm this close to being excited. They're playing Brad Richardson at center, Trevor Lewis at right wing... and Ivanans at left. Whatever. I'm still trying to run down whether or not Trevor Lewis is a wing or a center, since he's always played center but has switched over to wing this entire preseason. Oh, if only anyone important returned my e-mails!

-The Kings have a new goal song, finally ridding us of that atrocious song that has plagued rinks across the country. (You know the one, the one that kind of sucks.) They basically ripped off the "Hey! Hey! Hey hey hey!" part of the Rangers' goal song, which is fine because that is the best part of the best goal song in the world. Hey!

-If Shane Doan and Ryan Smyth collide while battling in the corner, do they turn into maple syrup?

-Speaking of Smyth, I don't know how to boo without sounding like the old lady from Princess Bride so I'm not sure how to properly show my displeasure towards him. I'm thinking I might give him the snoot salute. "Boo, Ryan Smyth, and again I say boo!"

-There's still no concrete word on what the special team lines are going to be, so it'll be interesting to see what the Kings throw out tonight. On the penalty kill I think the Kings will run Stoll-Brown and Handzus-Frolov units, with Kopitar, Williams, and Simmonds getting minutes if needed. It's interesting, the Kings have like 9 guys that can play short-handed. Oh, that's not interesting? Scew you buddy.

On the power play, I imagine the Kings will run Smyth-Kopitar-Brown-Doughty-Stoll, with Frolov-Handzus-Purcell-Johnson-Williams comprising the 2nd unit. I'm not a big fan of having a forward on the backend on both power play units, but then again I'm not a big fan of Flash Forward so what do I know.*

*I don't get this show. I've watched the first 2 episodes and the were just the worst. The acting was terrible, the humor was weird and inappropriate, and why the fuck are people driving home the day after a global disaster? I don't get shows like 24 or Lost either, so I think it's my problem. Everyone I knows seems to think it's pretty good. Oh well, at least there's Community.**

**I almost cried I was laughing so hard at the end of the last episode when the Dead Poet's Society teacher made his big speech and then started climbing a tree. Also, "I will have... a birthday cake!"

-Things you learn from NHL 10's Be a Pro Mode:

+/- is bullshit. Seriously, I have one foot on the ice when the other team scores and it's my fault?
Fuck coaches. B- in team play? I have 5 points tonight asshole! I'm demanding a trade.
Having teammates is the worst. I dance around Jay Buowmeester, fake a shot, slide the puck over to Ryan Smyth... and then he misses a wide open net. Goddammit. (That's 8.)
I'm a child. I don't care how many games I play, hitting another player after the whistle and then chasing the ref around the rink when he appears is funny as hell.
I'm also an asshole. I never knew this, but apparently I'd get like a thousand penalty minutes if I were a skater instead of a goalie. I'm supposed to be a sniper but I keep fighting. Hack my leg? I'll kill you!
Michal Handzus will always be overrated. I don't know what it is about Handzus, but he always gets overrated in video games. The guy can't skate 10 feet without giving away the puck in real life, but put him in a video game and he's a superstar. I think he has 10 goals in the 3 games I've played with him. It's probably because he makes over $4 million dollars a year so people assume he's awesome.
Seriously, +/- is bullshit. I'm blanketing my guy at the point, how the fuck am I supposed to prevent that goal?????? I'm demanding a trade.

-Kings game tonight. I'm trying to think of a Kings team I've liked as much as I like this one, but I'm coming up with a blank. I mean, I hate Ryan Smyth, Jack Johnson is a douche bag and Peter Harrold is terrible but other than that I love everyone on this team.

Kopitar's the future.

Justin Williams looks like the villian in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

Ted Purcell is tantalizingly talented and I hope for the best.

Dustin Brown is the captain, bold and moral.

Michal Handzus looks like Beeker from the Muppets.

Jarret Stoll... he's there.

Alex Frolov is my high school girlfriend.

Wayne Simmonds is the meat train.

Raitis Ivanans eats shoes.

Brad Richardson is probably of Norwegian descent and is thus cool in my book.

Trevor Lewis is a big mother fucker and will hopefully be a badass shutdown player in the future.

Drew Doughty once made a mistake; he said he wasn't amazing when he was 7.

Sean O'Donnell is an angry old goat who once kicked an ogre's ass.

Matt Greene is a future angry old goat.

Rob Scuderi is an angry goat.

Davis Drewiske... is also there.

MEAT TRAIN!!!!!!!!

Jonathan Quick makes amazing saves and has giant ears.

Erik Ersberg gets carded when he goes to R-rated movies.

Terry Murray always looks like a meerkat when he thinks he's spotted a grub. The meerkat Terry Murray, not actual Terry Mur... wait, hold on.

Yep, I think this may be my favorite Kings' team of all time. Maybe it's coloring my predictions for this season, but I do honestly think the Kings are going to make the playoffs this season.

The Kings have a mountain to climb.

Let's climb it.

You are Bold, Yes...

RudyKelly — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:24:29 -0000

But are you Daring?

Bold Predictions

-Anze Kopitar will score 80 points or more.

-Wayne Simmonds will score 30 points.

-Justin Williams will play less than 60 games.

-Ryan Smyth will make me say, "Goddammit," over 100 hundred times. (I'm already at 7.)

-Jack Johnson will score over 30 points and I will still hate him.

-Either Ryan Getzlaf or Scott Niedermayer will miss more than 15 games.

-The Sharks will trade for Dany Heatley, strip their captain of his responsibility, change the culture in their locker room... and lose their first game to the Avalanche.

-Ted Purcell will not score more than 42 points.

-Sean O'Donnell will begin as a #2 defenseman this season and end as a #6.

-Thomas Hickey will be a breakout player this season.

-Alex Frolov will do everythng right and yet still get criticized.

-Rob Scuderi will be the new scapegoat.

-Corey Perry will miss time when he is beaten half to death... by his own team.

-Jonathan Quick will play well this season.

-Jonathan Bernier will be the Kings' starting goaltender by the end of the year.

-No one will understand the reference I made in the title.*

*I don't understand why Doritos abandoned that ad campaign. I thought it was hilarious. Take this commercial as an example. It was the 3rd best food ad campaign after the glorious Emerald Nuts campaign and those creepy Cheetos commercials.

-Jarret Stoll will score 20 goals this season but still no one will like him.

-Joe Thornton will go on a scoring tear and will be seen around town with a 19-year old man named Slade.

-Michal Handzus will miss games with an injury.

-The Kings will be on the power play and pass it between their two defenseman before taking a weak shot from the the blue line that is easily blocked. The Kings will get the rebound and repeat. (Wait, that's not bold.)

-Richard Clune will only play 40-45 games this season and yet have over 10 fights.

-Raitis Ivanans will play more than 65 games and yet have less than 10 fights.

-Trevor Lewis will play limited minutes but his season will still be considered a success.

-Peter Harrold will play more than limited minutes but his season will be considered a waste.

-The Kings will be out of the playoffs most of the year but will make a post-Olympic run to the playoffs.

-The Dallas Stars will start off strong but then realize their season rests on the shoulders of Marty Turco and Alex Auld. They will then tumble, tumble, tumble.

-The Anaheim Ducks will miss the playoffs.

-The Kings will lose in the first round of the playoffs to the eventual champions: the San Jose Sharks.

-After finally getting over the hump, Sharks fans will somehow become more insufferable.

Kings Send Down Schenn, Bernier, Hickey... and Westgarth

RudyKelly — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:06:51 -0000

The Kings have made their final cuts of camp, sending Brayden Schenn to Junior and Jonathan Bernier, Thomas Hickey and Kevin Westgarth down to Manchester. (Would you rather watch Manchester or LA at this point? I think I'd enjoy watching Manchester more if Wayne Simmonds were down there.) That means the Kings' opening night line-up will look like this:

Smyth	Kopitar	Williams
Frolov	Handzus	Simmonds
Purcell	Stoll	Brown
Ivanans	Lewis	Richardson/Harrold
Harrold/Richardson	Clune (IR)

Drewiske	Doughty
Johnson	Scuderi
Martinez	Greene
O'Donnell (Susp.)

Quick

Ersberg

The Kings went with experience over the allure of youth. Thomas Hickey lost out to Alec Martinez, who has a year in Manchester under his belt;* Jonathan Bernier was beat out by Erik Ersberg, whose inability to be a #1 goaltender actually helped him; and Kevin Westgarth was bested by Raitis Ivanans, mostly because it's easier to send him down then convince someone to trade for Raitis.

*Martinez kind of gets a bad rap because the Kings have so many good defensive prospects. If it were 4 years ago everyone would be really excited about him, but most people think he's a scrub because he's not Thomas Hickey.

Overall, I'm not too upset by any decisions made in camp. Ted Purcell won the big job, that of 3rd line winger, while Richard Clune banished John Zeiler to the minors. We'll see Bernier and Hickey this season; it's just not quite as soon as we all hoped.

It's weird, I think most fans are pretty happy with this team.. Who is going to be the whipping boy this year? I guess Raitis, but he at least fights. It'll probably be someone who's contract is expiring soon like Cammalleri was before he left, someone who is enigmatic and easily moc-

Shit.

Training Camp Battles: Enforcer

RudyKelly — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:17:25 -0000

More photos » by Jimmy Jeong - AP

It's one step away from bumfights.com, isn't it?

Browse more photos »

The 4th line is kind of difficult for any poor blogger to predict. For one, no one tells us anything because they are frightened by our rugged good looks and large penises... OK, fine, they are repulsed when they shake our hands and get covered in powdered cheese. For two, the 4th line isn't so much composed of a "left wing-center-right wing" as it is determined by role. The Kings seem deadset on having an "Enforcer-Skill player-agitator" for at least half of their games this season, a more traditional 4th line after having what can charitably be called a clusterfuck 4th line the past few years.

The most glamorous battle is taking place among the meatheads, the noble heroes who beat the shit out of other trogolodytes for their dinner. I'm not a huge fan of enforcers but Terry Murray is, so you can assume that the Kings will have at least one enforcer on the ice most games.

The Favorite:

Raitis Ivanans

#41 / Left Wing / Los Angeles Kings

Height: 6-4

Weight: 256

Born: Jan 01, 1979

I love the abstract ideal of Raitis Ivanans. He's a giant, he's Eastern European so it allows me to come up with hilariously inappropriate stereotypes about him (he eats shoes, for one), and he's a pretty good fighter. The problem with the real Raitis Ivanans is that he doesn't play the game of hockey well. I mean... well, I guess he's not a terrible hockey player, but he takes a ton of penalties, so many that it becomes a detriment that has him out on the ice. Last year Ivanans scored 2 goals, took 35 minor penalties and intimidated exactly one person.*

*The only time I thought Ivanans was awesome last year was in a game against Toronto, where one of their goons pushed Kopitar. Ivanans immediately came out and proceeded to follow the guy all around the ice, trying to goad him into a fight. I'm not sure if that guy took a shift after that.

But I feel bad blaming it all on Ivanans because it wasn't really his fault. He's not the one who decided that he should skate a regular shift instead of spots here and there like most enforcers. He's not the one who decided he was a regular NHL player and not a mindless goon. Blaming Ivanans for his play last year is like blaming one of Mike Vick's dogs for biting someone. Terry Murray needs to either a) not play an enforcer as much if he wants a real 4th line, or b) not skate his enforcer so predictably. Ivanans can be an effective enforcer because there isn't anyone in the league that he can't fight, but his role needs to change so we can avoid another year like last year.

The Challenger:

Kevin Westgarth

#33 / Right Wing / Los Angeles Kings

Height: 6-5

Weight: 241

Born: Feb 07, 1984

Have you ever read The Dark Knight Returns? Westgarth looks like the lead mutant guy. Anyway, Westgarth is an interesting contrast to Ivanans. While Ivanans actually does have a little skill, Westgarth is a straight fighter with no talent whatsoever. While Ivanans is under the impression that he can win a fight on points, Westgarth throws caution to the wind and hopes he knocks the other guy out before he gets rocked. Basically, Ivanans is a more modern fighter while Westgarth is a throwback to the old era when fighters rarely touched the ice with their sticks.

Westgarth vs. Ivanans really comes down to what type of enforcer the Kings want. Do they want one controlled, one that plays in every game, one that can hopefully skate a regular shift? They'll pick Ivanans. Do they want one that will energize the crowd, one that'll pick up a few instigator penalties if that's what's needed, one that will be sat when the Kings don't need him? They'll pick Westgarth. I actually hope Westgarth wins this battle not because I like him more (I'll always be an Ivanans man) but because he'll occupy a role that's more compatible to my ideal version of this team. I'm sorry, Raitis, but it might be time for you to go.

The Dark Horse:

Dwight King

#74 / Left Wing / Los Angeles Kings

Height: 6-3

Weight: 218

Born: Jul 05, 1989

King had a fight during the prospect game where he punched a Coyote so hard in the face that the guy just stopped fighting and skated away. I'd never seen that before. King won't make the, uh, Kings this year but he could ultimately be that fighting hockey player Lombardi seems to want so much.

Dustin Brown Sez...

"Grrrrrr!!!!!!!! Haha, don't worry guys, it's just ol' Dusty here. Did I scare you? C'mon, I'm a lover, not a fighter. I love having big Raitis on our team but Westy's pretty cool too. There was this one time, though, when I was in the shower and I turned around and Raitis was standing right behind me. I was a little surprised and asked him what he was doing and he said, "Just checking." It was strange."

Poll

Who should be the Kings' enforcer next season?

Raitis Ivanans

48 votes

Kevin Westgarth

50 votes

98 votes | Poll has closed