Did you watch Sassuolo - Inter today? No? Lucky you. There are plenty of things I'd rather have been doing. Like, say, undergoing dental surgery without the benefit of Novocaine. Or maybe falling into a pool of honey before stumbling across a mother bear guarding her three cubs. Even spending the day at the DMV would have been better than watching Sassuolo pretend they have the right to play in Serie A.
Inter opened the scoring in the 7th minute with a goal from Rodrigio Palacio, his 50th in Serie A and his third of the season. Yuto Nagatomo sent a ball over the top of the Sassuolo defense, which promptly fell to pieces, allowing Palacio to tap in.
It took until nearly the 20th minute for Sassuolo to string together their first real attack. Of course, that was followed almost immediately by the second nerazzurri goal. Palacio made another attempt, but this time Alberto Pomini reacted with an excellent save. But the ball fell to Saphir Taider, who neatly flicked the ball over the Sassuolo keeper's head.
After 30 minutes, Samir Handanovic was forced to put down his copy of War and Peace to block a shot from Antonio Floro Flores, although the strike was hardly worth the trouble. Floro Flores was atrocious throughout the match, with substitute Simone Zaza doing much more to trouble the Inter defense. When he came off with cramp in the 77th minute, leaving Sassuolo with ten men, it was probably to his side's advantage.
Things went from bad to worse for the hosts in the 33rd minute, when Taider applied pressure on the Sassuolo "defense" once again, chasing a ball from Fredy Guarin. Raffaele Pucino, on for Marcello Gazzola in the 13th minute, made an attempt to interfere, but instead knocked the ball into the back of their own net.
The visitors started off the second half with yet another goal, yet again from inside the six yard box. Jonathan Rossini, clearly clueless as to the skills needed to be a viable center back, let Palacio wander into the area. The Argentine then slid the ball to compatriot Ricky Álvarez, who tapped in for number four.
At that point, Walter Mazzarri pulled Palacio in favor of another Argentine, this one well-beloved -- Diego Milito, making his first appearance in seven months. Milito immediately went for goal, but went just wide. Instead he'd have to wait nearly 10 minutes for his comeback goal, coming courtesy of a close strike off a ball from Alvarez.
The sixth goal was Inter's first from outside the area, an Esteban Cambiasso shot into the top corner, from an assist by Milito. The comeback hero got his second minutes later, another from close range. With seven minutes left to play, Inter had scored seven goals -- their biggest win ever in Serie A.
Sassuolo: Pomini; Gazzola (Pucino13), Rossini (Bianco 57), Acerbi, Ziegler; Kurtic, Magnanelli, Chibsah (Zaza 37); Schelotto, Floro Flores, Missiroli
Goals: Palacio 7 (I); Taider 23; Pucino og 33 (S); Álvarez 53 (I); Milito 63 (I); Cambiasso 75); Milito 83 (I)