England Vs. Spain, 2011 International Friendly: Preview

England are not good. Spain certainly are good. If the visitors are in a mood, get ready for them to crush Fabio Capello's second string side like tiny little bugs.

Time to embrace hilarious mediocrity, England. The world champions are coming to town, and things aren't likely to be very pretty when the dust settles at Wembley, because Spain are very likely to waltz in and demolish an England squad that Fabio Capello seems determined to leave a traumitised wreck. It's bad enough playing Spain with your best team, but the manager is insistent on blooding in new recruits for the match, which can only really end in tears.

Frank Lampard will captain the Three Lions. Phil Jones will play in midfield. Spain, meanwhile, can call on the services of Sergio Busquets, Andres Iniesta, Xavi Hernandez and Cesc Fabregas, whom you may remember from their status as four of the best eight midfielders on the planet (and probably three of the best three). International friendlies are often called so that teams can try out new techniques and tactics*, so one can only imagine that Capello is attempting to hone his 'what if we play a team that's way better than us and half of our starters are out with... I don't know, cholera' contingency plan, which will serve him well when England are knocked out of Euro 2012 on penalties in the quarterfinals.

*Ok, that's a lie. They're there for the money.

If Spain really feel like being mean, they can field David Silva and Juan Mata on each flank, which will cause so much creative play that even David Villa and Fernando Torres might get goals. Seriously, nobody in the Premier League can defend David Silva. Why should we imagine that Glen Johnson can? Things would be a lot easier if Micah Richards had been called up, but since Capello hates you, the viewing public, that won't happen.

Anyway, England aren't good, Spain are, and that's the way things go. Since it's a friendly they'll probably be good guests and not stomp the Three Lions so badly they'll need surgery, but rest assured that they certainly could if they wanted to, and if it's less than a three-goal margin it's only because Spain were being nice. The match will be held at Wembley at 5:15 PM GMT (12:15 PM EST). Get ready for some carnage.

Oh, and England will be wearing a poppy on their armband. This is Very Important. Never forget.

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