Let's see -- AC Milan scored their first goal in the eighth minute, Chievo Verona have barely made it out of their half, much yet tested Marco Amelia, and Zlatan Ibrahimovic has already scored his 100th Serie A goal (as well as his 101st). If you've got plans you were putting off in order to watch this match, by all means, no one will blame you if you skip the second half. There's nothing to see here.
Ibra nearly sent the crowd into shivers of ecstasy when he went for goal within 45 seconds, but his shot was only able to rattle the crossbar. Instead it was Thiago Silva who scored the first for the rossoneri, easily splitting open the defense with a low shot to score his first goal in Serie A this season.
Zlatan's would be the next goal, on 16 minutes. The Milan forward received the pass from Alberto Aquilani and sent a lovely, lingering shot into the top corner of the net. Of course Ibrahimovic's 100th Serie A goal would never be a tap-in, of course it would be something beautiful. Tanti auguri.
The tap-ins would be left for Alexandre Pato to clear up. A Milan corner bounced into the way of Chievo defender Luciano, who failed to clear the ball, letting it fall at the feet of the Duck, who easily tapped in from close range. Ten minutes later, Luciano made it clear what a horrible game he was having, earning a yellow card for bringing down Pato in the area. Ibrahimovic stepped up for his 101st goal.
Seriously....go hang Christmas lights or something.