Gray And Keys Joining TalkSport Inspires New Theory Of Memetics

Inspired by Andy Gray and Richard Keys joining TalkSport radio, I am about to present a new theory of memtics that I believe to be vital to the understanding of the universe at large. The ramifications of said theory will touch the lives of humankind across the planet, and, I hope, provide meaning to billions of lives.

MacAree's Theory of Moron Gravity

Abstract: Idiotic thought attracts idiotic thought, analogous to Sir Isaac Newton's theory of gravity, which deals with mass. We postulate the hypothesis of the Keys boson as a messenger particle as well as consider possibilities for the mathematical relationship between strength of idiocy and strength of attraction.

Evidence: We see in many cases that entities that have a high idiotic thought emissions rate have an impact on groups of prone listeners. These listeners then clump together in groups due to their own low-level emissions - as these groups reach a critical inertia, they then have an attractive effect on the 'prime' source, which modifies its behaviour in order to fall in line with the strongest groups. A model which seeks to explain this must allow for a messenger particle and a potentially non-linear relationship between attraction of different sources of moronism.

Mechanism: Idiotic thought may be transmitted via the Keys boson, which would travel at a rate between speed of light c and speed of sound in local medium v. Upon exposure to the Keys boson (K), which will doubtless be discovered at CERN in due course (if they 'smash it' properly), irrational and idiotic thought already in the brain is subject to a resonance effect depending on the 'flavour' of the K particle - racism, sexism, etc., and subsequently drawn towards (rather than away from) the source of K. The effect of K is amplified by average speed of all bosons from one source, possibly due to quantum entanglement.

Theorised Relationship: Newton's inverse square law fails to apply here - the impact K is not effectively weakened with distance - but there may be a higher-order relationship between sources of K (designated as Ki) and relative attraction. That is, thought inertia may not lie in a linear relationship with Keys bosons produced at any particular source. Attraction of k1 to k2 is therefore not necessarily equivalent to K1's relationship with K2. Further research will have to be conducted on this topic.

Bearing all of the above in mind, I think it's pretty clear why Gray and Keys are now on TalkSport.

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