Apparently, a Lionel Messi transfer is serious business. So serious, in fact, that even attempting to buy Barcelona's Argentine wizard, widely regarded as the best player in the world (and one of the greatest of all time) can get you in some deep trouble, especially if you're Cédric Enjolras.
Don't worry; you won't have heard of him before, unless you're seriously into lower-league French football. Enjolras is the president of FC Borne, which is a team so obscure that it doesn't even have its own wikipedia page. Borne's home town has a population of 400 people, and they play in the lower tier of the Haute-Loire league, which is so far removed from Ligue Un that they might as well play on the moon.
Borne's status as minnows to the minnows didn't stop Enjolras from wondering what would happen if he tried to make a bid on Barcelona's talisman, however, so he fired up his computer, typed in Messi's name, date of birth, and club, and the league duly tried to contact Barcelona to see if they'd be willing to strike up a deal.
Instead of a simple 'no', Enjolras instead found that his attempted transfer had been intercepted by the French Football Federation (FFF), who then got really annoyed about the whole thing. Said Yves Begon, head of the FFF registration office:
One cannot accept such behaviour. It is perhaps a joke but we are here to judge the facts.
Fact 1: FC Borne tried to buy Lionel Messi.
Fact 2: FC Borne were not allowed to do so by the FFF.
Those aren't really the most compelling facts, but the hasn't stopped punishment being handed down to poor Mr. Enjolras, who's now facing a three-month suspension for his bizarre 'misdeed'. For his part, Enjolras has said that he plans on spending his enforced vacation in a bar. Attaboy.