Either Mario Balotelli's allergic reactions are the most bizarre in human history, or the Italian striker is sitting down with a pink beach ball nestled in his lap and happily - nay, joyously - snuggling the thing. Yes, that is the most exciting thing that's happened in the match so far. Both sides have defended well and held possession like it was super-anthrax, which has made for a massively dull opening. There've been chances to play attackers in behind both defences, but there've been too many over-hit passes and offsides. The linesman's flag has just caught out Shaun Wright-Phillips, whose beautiful takedown of an arcing path probably deserved better than a whistle. Then again, maybe he shouldn't be offside.
Not even Carlos Tevez or David Silva are immune to the poor play, the pair contriving to turn a potentially scything one-two into a nice cushioned path towards Alex McCarthy. At the other end of the pitch, Noel Hunt heads well over. All a bit quiet.