El Clásico-Mania: Cephalopod Main Event

With four meetings between Barcelona and Real Madrid on the calender over the next three weeks, the build-up surrounding these matches is going to hit epic levels. Every major paper and website on the planet that covers soccer will be focused on every word said by players and coaches until we reach critical mass and the soccer world implodes upon itself. Alright, maybe I'm being a little dramatic.

We'll of course be covering the El Clásico here but I want to dig deeper and chronicle the wierd and absurd stories that are sure to surround this event. With that in mind, I give you the latest in the continuing search for the world's greatest psychic cephalopod.

Sea Life Benalmádena Aquarium in Málaga, a battle of undersea heavyweights are about to try and stake their claim to the title of "greatest psychic cephalopod". Of course, this title was vacated by the now famous Pulpo Paul who passed away in October of last year and soccer fans everywhere have been waiting patiently for a new match predicting octopus to emerge. Since Paul's death, many animals have attempted to enter the sports prediction field but when it comes down to it, only the octopus can truly grasp this lofty title.

So the Sea Life Benalmádena have decided to pit two of it's eight-armed hopefuls in a battle of wits to determine which can stake their claim to the title of the world's greatest psychic cephalopod.

In the blue corner, Iniesta! A giant pacific octopus coming in at a length of two meters and a weight of 16 kilograms...and in the red corner, Iker! A Mediterranean octopus, coming in at an unknown length and a weight of a kilogram and a half.

When asked to comment about Pavlik, the Ukrainian octopus that predicted Barcelona's Champions League quarterfinal victory over Shakhtar Donetsk, both Spanish cephalopods appeared to turn their beaks up at the idea of a Ukrainian cephalopod knowing anything about predicting soccer matches. Both seem to be supremely confident that they will be the creature that takes the title.

Time will tell who comes out on top, but there is little doubt that gamblers across the world eagerly await the predictions of these undersea seers as they attempt to fill the void left by the loss of the great Pulpo Paul.

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