Some people say that route-one football is the quickest route to goal. They're wrong. The quickest route is to simply smash it in from ludicrous range without regard for wind, trajectory, or positioning. Pay attention, Mr Pulis...
5. Serio - LUPA PIACENZA vs. Lentigione
What makes this goal is not the technique, the vision, or the hapless defending and goalkeeping, it's the crowd noise it produces: one of aggressive, mocking laughter. That noise only comes when you score from the halfway line. Savour it.
4. Benat - Getafe vs. REAL BETIS
Last week we had a free-kick that looked indirect but wasn't, but the cheeky-near-post finish gives way this week to the perfect-arcing-top-corner option. Benat had to get this perfect, and he did.
3. Enzo Maresca - SAMPDORIA vs. Atalanta
The shortest-range goal on the list, but in bicycle-kick metres, which are like dog years, this is basically a goal from his own half.
2. Lucas - KARPATY LVIV vs. Kryvbas
"Better than Paul Scholes vs Bradford" isn't a bad tagline to sell a goal, and this is some pretty outstanding technique from deepest Ukraine. Well done to all involved.
1. Adam Moffat - HOUSTON DYNAMO vs. Sporting Kansas City
"He can hit them from range", utters the commentator as Dynamo attack. Just to spite him, Moffat chips a delicate ball into the area, and blasts it back into the net when it comes back.