How soccer holiday parties might go horribly wrong

Martin Rose

Inspired by Henning Berg, we speculate about what events might derail some football sides' parties during this holiday season.

Blackburn Rovers had a holiday party this week, and their party ended horribly. Manager Henning Berg was asked to perform a silly dance and was so offended that he stormed out of the party.

That got us thinking: How could other football teams' holiday parties go horribly wrong? This is actually very predictable.

- Cristiano Ronaldo throws a fit because Kaka always gets to play one of the angels in Real Madrid's Christmas plays, and he doesn't.

- Peter Vermes thinks that Sporting KC's party is a Thanksgiving party. When he is told it is a Christmas party, he demands that a Thanksgiving party be held anyway.

- Gerard Pique offers Xavi eggnog, and Xavi declines by saying "No, I'll pass".

- Michael Dawson accidentally brushes Gareth Bale as he walks past him, and Bale goes flying into the punch bowl.

- Steve Kean refuses to leave after the building after the party is over, laughing in the dark by himself. No one knows what party he went to anyway.

- Aaron Ramsey tries to put a dimly lit star on the Christmas tree and the whole thing falls apart.

- Milan's players are informed that the Christmas party has been sold to balance the team's accounts.

- Upon signing for Cruz Azul, Teo Gutierrez decides to take everyone paintballing after everyone has way too many drinks at their Christmas party.

- Raheem Sterling scrolls through his baby mommas on his phone to make sure "Mary" is not on the list.

- A child confuses Sam Allardyce for Santa at West Ham's Christmas party. Big Sam has his entire midfield kick him.

- Zenit supporters show up at anyone's party.

- Manchester City inexplicably puts Mario Balotelli in charge of planning their holiday party, and he moves it to the local women's prison.

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