Was that a football match? Apparently. A combination of brilliant play by Theo Walcott and ghastly defending by Newcastle led to seven goals for Arsenal.
If you didn't get a chance to catch Saturday evening's 10-goal Premier League encounter between Newcastle United and Arsenal, it looked a lot like this.
Depending on your perspective, it was either a terrible or wonderful display of football, and it's certainly not impossible to believe that the game was both astonishingly fun and equally astonishingly poor. Theo Walcott put in another stunning contract year performance, scoring a hat trick for Arsenal as they ran out very well-deserved 7-3 winners over the Magpies.
Walcott's opener came on 20 minutes, on an absolutely brilliant finish to the far post following a counter. He appeared to be offside on first glance, but may have been kept onside by Davide Santon, one of many Newcastle defenders who had a horrendous day at the back. Just before halftime, Demba Ba equalized for Newcastle with a free kick that took a wicked deflection, making a save nearly impossible for Wojciech Szczesny.
While more goals always seemed likely, no one could have possibly predicted the madness that was to ensue following the halftime break. The two sides exchanged five goals in a 23-minute period, with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain kicking off the goal glut in the 50th minute. Sylvain Marveaux answered, but Lukas Podolski put Arsenal back up in the 64th minute after a Jack Wilshere chip hit the back of Fabricio Coloccini's head, then the crossbar, before it bounced to the Arsenal forward.
Ba gave Newcastle some more hope with a 69th minute goal, but it would be Newcastle's last. Walcott and Olivier Giroud would each score two more times between Ba's second goal and the end of the match, with Walcott's final goal being the highlight of the match. GIF goodness comes via @BroCadfael.
Silliness. Congrats on your soon-to-be fat-ass contract, Mr. Walcott.