Perhaps I've just been watching the same five minutes of this game over and over again. Surely that makes more sense than this match just being a cavalcade of mediocrity from two quite good teams. To summarise what I've seen of what's supposedly half an hour of football:
Barcelona have the ball at the back. They then play it forward where Bayer Leverkusen's line of five does a fine imitation of the Maginot Line in being completely bypassed. Eventually something goes slightly wrong - sloppy play, offside, an unlucky bounce, Daniel Schwaab getting involved - and Bayer Leverkusen get the ball. They then lose it inside their own half within about three touches, because they can't pass worth beans.
Has anything else happened? Am I stuck in a weird time loop missing an otherwise excellent match? Please advise, because I think I can get time off for being the victim of space-time's rather fickle warp and weft.