Stay away from Xherdan Shaqiri, everybody. The FC Basel midfielder is ill and there is a possibility that it is contagious. Shaqiri reported to the emergency room on Saturday morning, and by Saturday evening the doctors had confirmed his illness. This from the hospital's medical report:
"Xherdan Shaqiri checked into the emergency room on the morning of Saturday, April 7, complaining of being too awesome and having a sweet sticker on his skateboard. After being checked out, every indication was that he was ill. The 20-year-old was spouting off lines from Eric B. and Rakim's 'I Ain't No Joke' and quoting The Big Lebowski so the doctors ran a battery of tests on him. Unfortunately, the tests were not conclusive, but they did point to his having a serious case of the Amazings."
His actions later on Saturday confirmed the doctor's suspicious. He has full-blown Amazings.