Ligue 1 2012, Week 36 Preview And Fixtures: Montpellier Travel To Face Rennes In The Weekend's Biggest Clash

No, we are not any closer to knowing who's going to win the title, who's going to which European competition and who's going to Ligue 2. Stop asking or so help me I will turn this car around.

Evian vs. Ajacccio

Sunday 5/6; 17:00 CET/11:00 AM ET

Ajaccio is currently out of the relegation zone, but their goal difference is so horrendous that those three points are the only thing keeping them safe. Evian's season is functionally complete as they're 12 points clear of the drop and 13 points away from the European places, but they could probably play their U-16 team and score four or five.

Pick: Evian, 3-1

Lyon vs. Brest

Sunday 5/6; 17:00 CET/11:00 AM ET

Will this finally be the game that brings Brest their first away win of the season?

Nope.

Pick: Lyon, 2-0

Valenciennes vs. PSG

Sunday 5/6; 21:15 CET/3:15 PM ET

PSG is once again within range of Montpellier, and things are so close that the Parisian side would be well served to try and lay a whipping on their remaining opponents. Two problems here, though; 1) Valenciennes doesn't really give up many goals. It's kind of their thing. 2) PSG is managed by Carlo Ancelotti.

Pick: PSG, 2-0

Auxerre vs. Bordeaux

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

Auxerre is finally out of the relegation zone, and with a downright respectable -5 goal difference they're going to be okay so long as they can keep pace with their (far worse) relegation rivals. Bordeaux would like to think that they're still within reach off Europe, but I'd like to think I'm Joe Posanski.

Pick: Draw, 2-2

Lille vs. Caen

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

So, when do we acknowledge that Lille has a shot at sneaking in and stealing the title? I mean, clearly Montpellier is the favorite to win and PSG is a very close second, but three games? Five points? Stranger things have happened.

Pick: Lille, 3-1

Lorient vs. Dijon

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

This is not going to be an especially enjoyable game, on any level. Especially for Dijon fans.

Pick: Lorient, 2-0

Sochaux vs. Nancy

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

Sochaux have lost three straight games and somehow remain within reach of safety. If they manage to stay in the league, it's going to be difficult for anyone to describe their escape as "great" with a straight face.

Pick: Draw, 1-1

St. Etienne vs. Marseille

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

The only thing Marseille really have left to play for is the hope of finishing in the top half of the table. To say that such a turn of events is unexpected is really quite unnecessary, almost as unnecessary is saying that it's hilarious. But unless you're a fan of L'OM, it really, really is. Even if you are a Marseille fan, it might be a little funny.

Pick: St. Etienne, 2-1

Toulouse vs. Nice

Monday 5/7; 19:00 CET/1:00 PM ET

It's tough to see Nice beating Toulouse, because to win you have to score goals and that hasn't really been one of their strong points this season. It's not at all tough to see them drawing with Toulouse, because to lose the opponent has to score goals too, and Toulouse scores about as often as a 500 pound misogynist with bad breath and a butterfly tattoo on his forehead.

Pick: Draw, 1-1

Rennes vs. Montpellier

Monday 5/7; 21:00 CET/3:00 PM ET

I would say that, were Montpellier to lose this game it would be "squeaky bum time" but I won't because that expression is gross and dumb and I hate it. Please, for the love of god, stop saying it.

Pick: Draw, 2-2