MLS 2012, Week 17 Preview And Fixtures: This Season Is Weird

This MLS season is super weird. Does anybody know what to make of half of the teams in the league? No team is super good and aside from a couple really bad teams, everybody could be good. Hell, Philadelphia might be a real team again. And the Sounders? They're good, maybe. And everyone else? Who the hell knows.

Philadelphia Union vs. Montreal Impact

Saturday, 7:00 p.m. ET, MLS Live

The Union are a legitimately decent team now. The Union are a legitimately decent team now. The Union are a legitimately decent team now. Nope. No matter how many times you say it, it still sounds weird.

Pick: Philadelphia, 1-0.

New England Revolution vs. Toronto FC

Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET, MLS Live

You probably don't want to watch this match. No one in New England will.

PIck: New England, 1-0.

Columbus Crew vs. Sporting Kansas City

Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET, MLS Live

Once again we have to ask ourselves, is Columbus actually good? Some weeks the Crew look like they are, others they look Toronto-esque. A win ovet Sporting would certainly put them in the yes category, at least for one week, but Kansas City is starting to get on a roll and there is only so much that Andy Gruenebaum can do to save the Crew this week. So no, the Crew aren't actually good, for now.

Pick: Kansas City, 2-0.

Chicago Fire vs. Vancouver Whitecaps

Saturday, 8:30 p.m. ET, MLS Live

The Whitecaps' midweek loss to Toronto was ugly. Like really ugly. Seriously, where the hell did the defense do? Dominic Oduro is licking his chops. And they're still considered a good team? Maybe? Is Chicago? Ugh.

Pick: Chicago, 2-1.

Colorado Rapids vs. FC Dallas

Saturday, 9:00 p.m. ET, MLS Live

Seriously, is there a more bipolar team that the Rapids? They have looked so good in some matches, but so horrible in others and often times in consecutive weeks. Even their bad team could beat Dallas, though. Poor Dallas.

Pick: Colorado, 3-0.

San Jose Earthquakes vs. Real Salt Lake

Saturday, 10:30 p.m. ET, MLS Live

These might be the two best teams in MLS, but neither has looked particularly good of late. MLS is really weird this year, and the Quakes and RSL best embody this. Or maybe someone else does. Seriously, this year is really weird.

Odds are Alvaro Saborio determines this match. The San Jose defense can be had, and since Fabian Espindola's finishing is .. umm, an adventure ... RSL leans heavily on Saborio. He was great last week, but has been absent in others.

I mean really, can someone make sense of this season? These are the two best teams? One that has to come back in every match and another whose two strikers are enigmatic or can't shoot straight.

Pick: Draw, 1-1.

Portland Timbers vs. LA Galaxy

Saturday, 11:00 p.m. ET, NBC Sports Network

With a new manager and the chopping block looming for several players, the Timbers will probably come out with fire like they did last year when they demolished L.A.. The Galaxy's counter is the possible return of Andrew Boyens, or something.

Pick: Beer.

New York Red Bulls vs. Seattle Sounders

Sunday, 4:00 p.m. ET, ESPN

It's too bad that Fredy Montero underachieves. He underachieves so hard. The Red Bulls will probably win because he underachieves. Or he'll score a brace.

Pick: Seattle, 2-1.

Houston Dynamo vs. D.C. United

Sunday, 9:00 p.m. ET, Galavision

Does anyone believe that D.C. is actually the best team in the Eastern Conference? United have been in first place or tied for it for weeks now, yet everybody seems to just be waiting for someone to pass them up. It's weird, just like this whole season has been,

Pick: I believe! Kinda. D.C. 2-0.