Tick, tick, tick, tick.
You can hear the clock ticking ever closer to the transfer deadline and teams all over England panicking as they try to figure out how to strengthen their squad before it is too late. That means chaos, panic, excitement, disappointment and, above all, hilarity for us all.
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So what is on tap in these final hours? Let's take a trip around the Premier League (in table position order).
Manchester United: The Red Devils have already bought Wilfried Zaha, but he will not join the team until the summer. That is a shame because United could use help on the wings, where they have struggled to find competent play. United could also use a central midfielder (what else is new?), but Sir Alex Ferguson has said that they will not make any more buys this window and what Sir Alex says goes.
Manchester City: Mario Balotelli has left Eastlands and that will be all of the business for City this January. A quiet Manchester City transfer window is odd, but it would be unfair for them to make a big move while their buddies across town stand pat and City are a sporting club.
Chelsea: The Blues made a splash early this month when they signed Demba Ba, which thankfully put Fernando Torres on the bench (at least when Rafa Benitez isn't drunk, which is surprisingly rare), but they still need a midfielder. They spent a full summer chasing Luka Modric 18 months ago and haven't been able to buy anyone else in that mold ever since missing out on the Croatian. Marouane Fellaini has been linked to a Stamford Bridge move, which would be a brilliant signing for the Blues.
Tottenham Hotspur: Once again, Spurs are in search of a striker. They have been in need of a striker for more than a year now so this isn't new, nor is their reported interest in Leandro Damaio. Tottenham did do well do secure the signature of Lewis Holtby this month, who should give their attack a boost, and Daniel Levy always seems to pull a rabbit out of his hat on deadline day.
Everton: Leroy Fer was on his way to Merseyside until a knee injury put his transfer in limbo. If he does become a Toffee, Everton would be free to sell Fellaini, possibly to Chelsea.
Arsenal: The Gunners rarely buy in January and it looks like they will be quiet again this year. They desperately need a defensive midfielder and have been linked to Mohamed Diame, which would be a brilliant signing, but history says Arsenal will hope the side that is currently sixth finds an extra gear in the coming months and can surge back into a Champions League place.
Liverpool: The Reds took care of priority No. 1 by signing Daniel Sturridge. They were desperate for a striker and got a very talented one. They have also been linked to Coutinho, who would be a tremendous fit in Brendan Rodgers' system, but is a bit of a gamble and an expensive one at that. They could use some cover for Lucas Leiva and a fullback, too, but it appears as if Coutinho will be the end of their dealings.
Swansea: If Danny Graham leaves, as has been rumored, the Swans could probably use a signing and they have been linked to Michael Laudrup's traditional bargain basement players, but the only player of note who looks like he might be on the way to Wales is Kenwyne Jones.
West Brom: Peter Odemwingie looks like he is on the way out, while Junior Hoilett could be on the way in. Interestingly, they have also been linked to James Troisi from Atalanta.
Stoke City: Brek Shea's transfer should be wrapped up, delivering the American to Stoke, but the real interesting work for the Potters could be up front. Jones looks like he is headed for the exit, but Johan Elmander could make his Premier League return with Stoke.
Sunderland: Graham is a good bet to sign with Sunderland, but besides that, it should be a quiet day for them.
Fulham: The Cottagers need a central midfielder or 12. It's been a disaster for them in the center of the pitch and they already added Emmanuel Frimpong on loan, while Tom Huddlestone could also be enlisted to help.
West Ham: Sam Allardyce's squad could use a defender, but it doesn't look like one is on the way in. That could be disastrous if they sell Diame and no longer have him to shield the back line.
Norwich City: The Canaries need a striker and have already taken Kei Kamara on loan with an option to buy. Kamara is best as a winger, though, so Norwich would like to add another striker and have been linked to Gary Hooper and Lucciano Becchio.
Newcastle: Only four points clear of the drop zone, Newcastle raided all of Ligue 1. Again. They did well, buying some very good players, but could still use another striker. Danny Simpson could leave St. James' Park for Wigan.
Southampton: The Saints have money and could use every single defender available to them. They haven't been strongly linked to anyone, but it would be astonishing if they don't improve their back line in some way.
Reading: If the Royals can steal Tom Ince from under Liverpool's noses it would be the funniest thing of the day, bar none.
Wigan: If past history is any indication, Wigan will sign Segunda and Serie B and Argentine Primera players you have never heard of for less than 7 figures each. They will be okay, serviceable players and Wigan will finish 17th.
Aston Villa: Give them a pack of matches and burn it to the ground.
Queens Park Rangers: The Super Hoops have money and Harry Redknapp so count on them buying. Rumor is they will meet Christopher Samba's release clause and pick up some of Tottenham's scraps, but they might also do something shocking and/or silly.
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