Premier League, Week 18 preview: Boxing Day games as Christmas presents

Alex Livesey

Look at all of the wonderful gifts we got you!

Hull City vs. Manchester United

K.C. Stadium; Thursday, 12:45 GMT/7:45 AM ET

Wild Hogs on Blu-Ray

Oh man, look at that cast! Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta. Bill Macy! Man, he's great. This looks like a lot of fun. What's that? Oh yeah, I did really like KISS when I was in high school. So yeah, a movie about motorcycles is right up my alley.

TV: NBC Sports Network (U.S.), Sky Sports 1 (U.K.)

Aston Villa vs. Crystal Palace

Villa Park; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

A Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock

You will at the very least want to shoot your eye out.

Cardiff City vs. Southampton

City of Cardiff Stadium; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Love And Rockets' "Maggie the Mechanic"

Hey, a co-worker of mine has been telling me about this comic! He's a cool guy, kinda quiet. Went to art school, I think he works in marketing. Doesn't really seem to like his job, but he gets pretty crazy at office parties.

Chelsea vs. Swansea City

Stamford Bridge; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Monopoly

Dude. I love ths game. We are playing this right now.

(two hours later)

Wait, does anything ever happen?

TV: BBC One (U.K.)

Everton vs. Sunderland

Goodison Park; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Midnight Oil's Diesel And Dust

Oh man, I used to love this album. This really takes me back. These guys were so good in the late 80s.

Newcastle United vs. Stoke City

St. James' Park; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

A pair of smartwool socks

Wow, I really need some new socks, and I've heard such great things about these! Remember being a kid and being so sad when you got a pair of socks for Christmas? Haha, pretty silly when you think about it. I mean, who needs a 3DS when your feet are wrapped in cutting-edge moisture-wicking technology?

Norwich City vs. Fulham

Carrow Road; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

A remote controlled car that goes really really fast in a straight line but can't really turn very well and aww man I think I broke the joystick already

Uh, sorry about your wall Uncle Jim. I know a guy that can fix that for you.

Tottenham Hotspur vs. West Bromwich Albion

White Hart Lane; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

Season 9 of Family Matters on DVD

Well, this isn't the greatest show ever, and it got pretty weird late on. But it still had it's moments, and Mother Winslow is great.

(several hours later)

I guess I liked this show more than I thought! I've gone through nearly the entire season, can't wait to see how this all en-wait, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HARRIETTE?

West Ham United vs. Arsenal

The Boleyn Ground; Thursday, 15:00 GMT/10:00 AM ET

A gift bag containing a jar of Crisco and a bottle of truffle oil of indeterminate origin

Oh wow, I've really got all of my food lubrication bases covered now! Hey, say what you will about Crisco, but there's really nothing better when it comes to making a pie or browning a pot roast. And this truffle oil, wow! Get a load of me? Oh, whoops, dropped it. Yeah, it's a little bit greasy. No problem though, wipe it down with a paper towel and it's good as new. Whoops, looks like the price tag's still on this one! Haha, don't worry, I didn't see how much it cost. Marshall's though, great store. You can get some great deals there.

TV: NBC Sports Network (U.S.)

Manchester City vs. Liverpool

Etihad Stadium; Thursday, 17:30 GMT/12:30 PM ET

"Ulysses" by James Joyce

One of the great works of 20th Century modernist literature? I've always wanted to read this, but it seems like the kind of book you own rather than one you check out from the library, you know? Man, and now I have my own copy. Guess I don't have any excuses now, haha! No, really, this is great. I cannot wait to get started on this, because I'm sure it will be a wonderful read that is not at all tedious and interminable because everyone keeps telling me how amazing it is.

TV: NBC Sports Network (U.S.), BBC One (U.K.)

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