Raise your hand if you're shocked: Manchester City ground Leeds United into white, pointy dust at the Etihad Stadium, annihilating them so heavily that the descendents of Leeds fans will be experiencing psychic trauma over the loss for centuries. It wasn't that it was a blowout; rather it was the the mismatch was so severe that City simply couldn't be bothered with playing football after opening up a 2-0 lead within the first 15 minutes.
Yaya Toure got the party started after linking up with David Silva before the ball found its way to Carlos Tevez on the edge of the box. With Toure continuing his freight train-esque run, Tevez only needed to find some way to return the ball to the Ivorian to see him through on goal. That was accomplished with a neat scooped pass, and Toure latched onto possession, trotted past the unfortunate Jamie Ashdown, and slotted into the empty net.
It took another nine minutes for the hosts to double their lead. Tom Lees failed to stick close to Sergio Aguero as the forward danced up and down in the box, and was eventually compelled to
lay hands on the Argentine's chiseled, oiled-up body pull him back, at which point Aguero threw his hands up in disgust that he was being groped by an ugly Englishman rather than the tanned, svelte figures he'd have met in Madrid impeded. Mark Clattenburg pointed to the spot; Aguero fired into the top corner.
From then on the match wasn't particularly exciting. Just after halftime, Tevez scored the season's first crotch goal, a clear sign of the utter contempt with which City held their visitors, when he humped Aguero's cross over the line with Ashdown helpless. Then Jack Rodwell opted to have a go at the crossbar challenge, succeeding when he rose above the Leeds defence to thump the woodwork with a header while the goal lay at his mercy.
Aguero then made it 4-0 with a very sexy first-time finish after David Silva's inch-perfect pass allowed him to beat the offside trap, and the rest of the game was basically Leeds standing around looking sad while City showed off / Rodwell kicked people. Those bullies! Anyway, they're through to the quarters. You're all surprised.