The pre-game intrigue in Saturday's Champions League final largely centred around Mario Gotze, who had agreed to transfer from Borussia Dortmund to Bayern Munich at the end of the season. Unfortunately for Mario, he's injured and wasn't able to play. Even more unfortunately, he displayed some highly questionable dress sense which was quickly picked up on.
Gotze looking like a young Marky Mark there.— Clive Martin (@thugclive) May 25, 2013
But then, on to the game itsel- wait, no, not yet. There was another subplot, as Bayern Munich's star midfielder, Bastian Schweinsteiger, appeared to pick up an injury in the warm-up, leading to some brief speculation on whether he'd have to miss out.
Finally, the action took place. Bayern were the favourites, but it was Dortmund who came out strongest, creating a string of chances as their opponents got off to a slow start. First, Manuel Neuer was called into action to pull off a great reflex save from Jakub Blaszczykowski, who should have scored.
Next, it was Dortmund who went close again, through Marco Reus…
Sven Bender also had a great chance to put BVB in front, but missed with this curling effort. It wasn't entirely Dortmund, though — Bayern did get up the other end and forced Weidenfeller into this save, barely tipping Mario Mandzukic's header over the bar.
Bayern Munich could have ended up paying, but Franck Ribery was lucky the referee didn't spot a clear elbowing.
And as the first half drew to a close, Arjen Robben stepped up to the plate to do what he does best — miss chances in big games. First this...
And then a quite remarkable face-save from Weidenfeller to keep the scores level.
Robben's long and storied career of only ever using one foot haunted him once more, a fact that wasn't missed on Twitter.
"Any distinguishing features?" "I've got this weird growth coming out of the other one of my legs." "That's your right foot, Arjen."— Huw Davies (@thehuwdavies) May 25, 2013
At half-time, there was much enthusiasm for our new German overlords:
Germany, 1938: "Gaze into your crystal ball; tell me my future." "Fuhrer, I see 100,000 Germans in an arena in England chanting." "MWAHAHA!"— netw3rk (@netw3rk) May 25, 2013
And some who were rather less enthused.
Pffft, had this match featured two Premier League teams there would've been at least two defensive balls-ups leading to crap goals by now.— James Maw (@JamesMawFFT) May 25, 2013
After the second half kicked off, Dortmund allowed Bayern to creep into the game. Big mistake, and it seemed they would be regretting all those first-half misses after Mario Mandzukic made them pay.
Yet remarkably, for a team so — dare we say it — efficient as Bayern Munich, their lead would only last a few minutes. Shortly afterwards, they had a penalty due to some idiocy from Dante, fouling Reus and giving BVB a penalty.
Ilkay Gundogan stepped up...
And the scores were level. Things got a bit crazy after that, and Bayern were unlucky not to score when Neven Subotic made a spectacular clearance off the line.
Bayern were lucky to have 11 men on the pitch, but Dortmund's Robert Lewandowski could also have been sent off for a cheeky stamp on Jerome Boateng.
With time running out and the teams preparing for extra-time, there was one last chance to win it. What better way to settle a final between two attractive teams than a classic route one hoof? Enter Arjen Robben, he who chokes in big games:
That stunning late finish left Dortmund with no time to find an equaliser. And the fans knew it too — if we were to sum up Saturday night in a solitary GIF, this would probably be it:
So, that's all. Bayern are victorious, as always, and the underdogs have been crushed yet again beneath the Bavarian red machine. We'll leave you with the sight of the Champions lifting the cup — and remember, you saw Arjen Robben score the winner in a big game tonight. Some things only come along once in a lifetime.