After several minutes of utter nonsense, UEFA have deigned to provide us with the groups for this year's edition of the Champions League. Without further ado:
Group C: Benfica, PSG, Olympiakos, Anderlecht
Group D: Bayern Munich, CSKA Moscow, Manchester City, Viktoria Plzen
Group E: Chelsea, Schalke 04, FC Basel, Steaua Bucharest
Group G: Porto, Atletico Madrid, Zenit St. Petersburg, Austria Vienna
Arsenal have managed to work their way into a Group of Death (TM), drawing both Borussia Dortmund and Napoli out of the late pots, while fellow London club Chelsea get the Group of Cupcakes, avoiding anyone particularly strong after being booted from the group stages last year. Group B, featuring Real Madrid and Juventus, should be fun (although we'd expect both teams to advance), and Group H has about 50 combined European Cups in Barcelona, Milan, Ajax and Celtic.
I'd have more to say but quite a lot of my soul died during this draw. Apologies.