Manchester United to buy a midfield
Note: a midfield, not a midfielder. Not some playmaker who the club will become completely dependent on and toothless without, but a functioning group of players in midfield. It could happen - reports suggested David Moyes was chasing all three of Ander Herrera, Daniele de Rossi and Marouane Fellaini, and suddenly that would give United probably the best midfield in the league after all the years without.
They'll likely end up with two, or one of those, but it would represent a completely new era and a total step away from the Ferguson epoch at United. It would be huge. United could suddenly be back at the very top tier in Europe. Or they could not be improved that much as they fail to adjust and bed in. But it would be very big, and there's a decent chance it could happen.
Arsenal to sign a world-class player for too much money
Mesut Ozil seems the most likely here. The fun thing about this transfer is that Ozil plays in the only position that Arsenal have anything like a title-winning group of players in, and they really don't need him. But Manchester United didn't need Robin van Persie, and look how that turned out.
Reports suggest Wenger could also be in for Demba Ba, Julian Draxler and Angel Di Maria, but Ozil is the real game-changer. He's world-class, and you simply build the team around him, regardless of if you need him or not. He transcends that. And he also comes for a pretty huge fee, which will be groundbreaking territory for Arsenal.
Arsene spent the whole window chasing Luis Suarez, and we all assumed he was desperate for a striker. But he could simply be desperate on someone to carry the side - he'll have seen how that worked out when he sold Van Persie.
Daniel Levy to be Daniel Levy
Levy missed a trick on Samuel Eto'o, because it was the perfect signing to restore his personal brand after last year's fiasco. An elderly, cheap (fee-wise) and legendary striker who could be a disaster or a stroke of genius, at the last minute. It would've been vintage Levy, and a signing Tottenham Hotspur could really have used. But alas, the deal is gone.
Tom Ince has been touted as some late business for Tottenham. It doesn't have quite the same romance as a Rafael van der Vaart, but we'll take whatever we can get, as long as it's done at the last possible minute for a joke of an offer. The fact he'll be tearing a player away from his father will add to the emotion of it all, we suppose.
Kaka to return home
Most casual, RT-if-you-remember-the-90s non-Italian Serie A watchers tend to love AC Milan and are indifferent or hostile towards Internazionale. It's quite illogical, really. Milan had Paolo Maldini! Well, Inter had Javier Zanetti, and still do. Milan had Van Basten! Well, Inter had Ronaldo, Djorkaeff and Klinsmann. Milan had all those other Dutch guys! Well, why doesn't Inter's 80s/90s German contingent get so much attention?
It's the shirts, basically. Blue and black is a terrible colour scheme but red and black have always had that romance and darkness to them, and everybody looks cooler in a Milan shirt. If you see Mattia de Sciglio in civilian clothing, he'd look like the shiest, most unassuming teenager - in a Rossoneri shirt, he looks like a greek god. And that's what made Kaka, a handsome man but also the most clean-cut, boring and plasticky specimen in Italy, such an erotic player for Milan.
The Real Madrid fiasco has been a crying shame. At last, it's time for him to return home. Who could help but shed a tear? Ah, but first...
Milan to keep hold of their youngsters
Milan had an ancient team that did the business reasonably enough in Italy but was a laughingstock in Europe for far too long. Now, De Sciglio, Stephan El Shaarawy, Mamadou Niang and others are in a team that looks like it might be going places. And predictably and depressingly, El Shaarawy is linked with a move to Manchester City or Paris Saint-Germain. That would be horrible, awful, and if you want to see that happen, you're a monster.
Wigan's fun players to be brought back to the Premier League
James McCarthy is an excellent player, so it's a surprise Roberto Martinez put in such an underwhelming bid to secure him. Insulting and derisory, you might say. But if Everton don't get him, then someone else should - he's fun, but he's simply far too good to be playing in the second tier anywhere.
But that's not all. Roger Espinoza would be a fine, and actually fun and exciting utility player for any lower-level Premier League struggler. Callum McManaman is a hugely exciting talent on the wing for a club like Newcastle or Cardiff to spice things up. Weren't Celtic interested in using some of the vast amounts of money they got this season to bring Shaun Maloney back? He could keep any number of clubs in the league this year.
We enjoyed them while they were here, but someone needs to make it happen and bring them back.
Wayne Rooney or Luis Suarez to be subject to a massive surprise bid
A last-minute curveball that completely throws another club's plans into turmoil. Arsenal to loan Ozil and use the money to make a huge bid for Rooney, or Real or PSG to come knocking for Luis Suarez, would be hilarious and send the whole window into chaos, giving things a radically different tilt at the last minute. And we'd also really like to see how those clubs cope without them. Unlikely, but not outside the realms of possibility.