Booking the first PPV after Vince McMahon buys Newcastle

Michael N. Todaro

NO CHANCE, THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT!

You may have heard that WWE chairman Vince McMahon is reportedly interested in buying Newcastle United. This rumor started being a thing around 2011 and has been debunked, then resurrected many times. This could happen because McMahon regularly shows interest, then backs out, or because the internet is still the internet.

Regardless, we've taken the liberty of booking the first ever pay-per-view card at St. James' Park. Would you shell out $60 to see this?

IT'S MAGPIEMANIA!

Ameobi Brothers vs. The Usos in a tag team match
This Guy vs. Vader
Fabricio Coloccini vs. Wade Barrett, in a '1986 World Cup match'. Coloccini's hands will be tied behind his back.
Joe Kinnear vs. Ric Flair in a last man standing match
Steve Bruce vs. Alan Pardew inside 'Hull in a Cell'
Mick Foley vs. Alan Shearer in an 'I Quit' match
Undertaker vs. Mike Ashley in a casket match

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