Other nations treat songs about international football as occasional diversions, but England are one of the few that seemed to have turned them into a cottage industry. There are what seem like thousands of the things, from which we've plucked this minor classic, released in the wake of Germany 1-5 England, a qualifier for the 2002 World Cup.
It's difficult to choose a favourite part. Perhaps it's "David Seaman" doing ballet, because he has a ponytail and so looks like a girl, and girls do ballet. Or the nifty rhyming of "Oliver Kahn" and "autobahn". Maybe it's the peculiar overhead crowd-goes-wild shots, treating the viewer to what looks like nothing so much as a collection of England fans masturbating in a lift.
No, none of that. It's this line: "He's a lovely geezer, but don't forget that he's from Sweden." There, friends, is the entire social history of this peculiar, rain-sodden country on this peculiar, rain-sodden island, boiled down into eleven words. Whatever you do, and whatever he might do for you, don't forget that the foreign man is foreign.