With Luis Suárez potentially facing a heavy suspension from FIFA after he bit Giorgio Chiellini during Uruguay's win over Italy on Tuesday, it was inevitable that his lawyer would surface eventually. Sure enough, on Wednesday, Alejandro Balbi took to the radio in Uruguay to defend his client.
It should be noted before we begin that Mr. Balbi is not only Suarez's lawyer, he's also a member of the board for the Uruguayan Football Association.
Suarez lawyer on #URU radio: "We don't have any doubts that this has happened because it's Suarez and secondly because Italy was eliminated,— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
Ah yes, the conspiracy card is thrown out in the opening salvo. Obviously, this is all a witch hunt against Suarez because nobody likes him, and because Italy are a big European country that was knocked out of the World Cup. It couldn't be because the video evidence appears to show Suarez biting Chiellini. It also couldn't be because Suarez has bitten another player on two other occasions either, or the fact he racially abused Patrice Evra.
Suarez lawyer 1/2: "There is a possibility that they ban him, because there are precedents, but we're convinced that it was an absolutely— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
2/2 casual play, because if Chiellini can show a scratch on one shoulder, Suarez can show a bruised and almost shut eye."— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
Apparently it's acceptable for Suarez's teeth to "scratch" Chiellini because Suarez also has an eye injury? If that eye was so hurt, why was he clutching his teeth after the incident?
Suarez lawyer: "You shouldn't forget that we're rivals of many and we can be for the organiser (hosts Brazil) in the future. 1/2— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
Suarez lawyer 2/2 "This does not go against what might have happened, but there's no doubt that Suarez is a rock in the shoe for many."— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
Oh good, another conspiracy card! Obviously because Brazil and Uruguay are rivals, the host nation CLEARLY wants to make sure that La Celeste don't have their best attacking player available to them for the rest of the tournament. It couldn't be because he bit another human being. Nope, no chance. Balbi is right that Suarez is a "rock in the shoe for many". He's a rock on the shoe of all the players who have to wonder if they'll be the next guy to get bit by him.
Suarez lawyer to #URU radio: "We're going to use all the arguments possible so that Luis gets out in the best possible way."— James Masters (@Masters_JamesD) June 25, 2014
Good plan Mr. Balbi. A couple conspiracy theories, the 'my guy was hurt too' argument, you'll do great.