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Brazil vs. Germany, 2014 World Cup: An embarrassing beatdown

Even though they've won the World Cup five times, Brazil never got over their loss at the Maracana in 1950. Their 7-1 defeat at the hands of Germany was infinitely worse.

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32 Total Updates since July 8, 2014
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Is that Germany-Brazil bet real?

Is it possible to find a parlay so big that you can win $46,000 on a $20 bet? Yes, but not without some work.

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Watch Brazilian fans get progressively sadder

During a 7-1 loss to Germany in the World Cup, Brazilian fans may have actually hit all five stages of grief in the span of 90 minutes.

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Brazil's demise as told by one fan losing his mind

...while his hat friend just mopes.

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Even Germany is confused about that result

It's not just Brazilians who are stunned.

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German fans getting police escort

But don't be alarmed about it.

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Brazil is the Facepalm World Cup Logo

A summary of Brazil-Germany in 1,000 words.

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The guard sitaution at Estádio Mineirão right now

Brazil just fell 7-1 in the semifinal of the World Cup. Here's a scene from the bowels of the stadium in the minutes before the match ended.

And after the match ...

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Germany demolish Brazil to reach World Cup final

Germany booked their place in the World Cup final with a record-breaking 7-1 demolition of tournament hosts Brazil.

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Schürrle makes it 7-0

Yep, seven. Germany lead Brazil 7-0. Andre Schürrle came on as a substitute, and he's already scored twice. This is his second goal, and it was incredible.

Obviously, at some point each goal becomes less impressive. Brazil didn't come to play today and are pretty demoralized, but you can't take anything away from Schürrle here. This is incredible technique and one of the best goals of the tournament, independent of the situation.

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Brazil flag suffering for the soccer team's defeat

Desecration by fire, teeth, and Roomba.

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Andre Schürrle makes it 6-0

Yep, Germany lead Brazil 6-0 now. Substitute Andre Schürrle piled it on.

The saddest thing is that the Brazilians got off to a brilliant start in the second half and looked like they were going to score. But Manuel Neuer denied them multiple times, and now Germany have a sixth. It could get worse from here.

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Uh, Visa ...

Reminder to #brands: You don't *have* to tweet about live sporting events involving sad children!

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Everyone in Germany is having a party

It's better to be up 7-1 than down 1-7, apparently.

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Brazil fans burn flag after horrible first half

5-0 gets people pretty upset.

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This bro is all of Germany right now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Germany scored 5 first-half goals.

Screen_shot_2014-07-08_at_4.52.53_pm_medium

Brazil scored 0 first-half goals.

Screen_shot_2014-07-08_at_4.53.01_pm_medium

No one has any idea what just happened.
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A reminder

Oh no. Oh nooooooooo.

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Here's all of Germany's first half goals

Five. Germany scored five goals. And not just in the first half, but in the first 30 minutes.

The first one was embarrassing, but once the second one went in, Brazil just crumbled. Maybe they could have withstood the loss of Thiago Silva or Neymar, but they're a complete mess without both of them. And meanwhile, what an amazing performance by Germany.

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Germany grab one record, narrowly miss others

Germany have set a new record for goals scored in a World Cup semifinal, but they've come up short in setting a new record for margin of victory and most goals scored in a match.

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Klose sets new World Cup goalscoring record

Miroslav Klose's goal against Brazil has ensured his place in the history books.

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Every fan in Brazil is crying right now

Everyone's heart is broken forever.

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Stop, they're already dead. 5-0.

Seriously, Germany have five goals. They lead Brazil 5-0. It took them less than 30 minutes to score five goals. What in the world is this?

That's Sami Khedira scoring the fifth German goal. You can stop, Germany, they're already dead.

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Beat 'em down. It's 4-0 Germany.

Miroslav Klose is now the World Cup's all-time leading scorer, but that's not what's important right now. What's important is that Germany lead Brazil 4-0 after just 26 minutes of their semifinal. This is going really, really poorly for the hosts.

Here's the second goal, Klose's record-setter.

And here's the second, from Toni Kroos. What a finish.

And then Kroos scored another. BEAT 'EM DOWN.

Brazil's defense is in shambles without Thiago Silva and their attack is anemic without Neymar. Is there any way back from this?

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Müller makes it 1-0 Germany

For the second game in a row, Germany have an early lead off a set piece. This time, Thomas Müller was the scorer, and he was inexplicably left totally unmarked on a corner.

The last time Germany did this, they held on for a 1-0 win, defending excellently for the rest of the match. Can Brazil mount a comeback without Neymar?

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Brazil vs. Germany: Lineups

Bernard starts in place of Neymar while Germany's side is unchanged for the World Cup semifinal.

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How to watch Brazil vs. Germany

Germany will be out to shut down the Brazilian attack and earn a place in the World Cup final. Here's how you can watch the match.

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Why do Brazil and Germany never play one another?

Today's semi-final between Brazil and Germany is only the second time that these two great footballing nations have ever met at the World Cup.

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It's time for Germany to drop Mesut Özil

Joachim Löw has given Mesut Özil enough chances. It's time to drop him.

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Germany the favorites with Neymar, Silva out?

Brazil will have to adapt to losing Neymar if they're to beat Germany and reach the World Cup final.

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Germany have conflicting opinions on Neymar injury

Everyone wants to play against the best, but German players seem to have conflicting opinions on what Neymar's injury means.

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