Want Backheel Breakfast in your inbox? Sign up for the email version here.
Defamation of character lawsuits are very common, and most just feature someone who's Really Mad Online about being insulted. Then there's the ultimate defamation of character, which is implying someone is a Nazi. A Chinese toy company is going to have to prove they didn't do that after they made a doll called "Bastian" in a Nazi uniform that looks an awful lot like Bastian Schweinsteiger.
Schweinsteiger's lawyers have already hollered at Hong Kong-based toymaker DiD, who better have some good lawyers themselves.
Dive of the day
Instead of a great goal, we bring you this dive by CSKA Moscow's Pontus Wernbloom. (r/soccer)
In the news
Legendary forward and manager Johan Cruyff has lung cancer. (ESPN FC)
USWNT star Alex Morgan is being traded to expansion NWSL team Orlando Pride. (SI)
A linesperson was asked to favor Real Madrid in El Clasico and reported it. (AS)
Vincent Kompany might not be selected this weekend even though he's fit. (BBC)
City might get charged by UEFA for ... booing the Champions League anthem?!? (Guardian)
Shockingly, Franck Ribery is back to training. (Bundesliga)
Napoli were forced to issue a statement that an interview with Gonzalo Higuain in a Danish newspaper is fake. (Football Italia)
City Football Group could promote from within, appointing Patrick Vieira as NYCFC manager if Jason Kreis is fired. (Telegraph)
You should be reading
Mike Goodman on the state of soccer analytics. (Grantland)
Andi Thomas on the greatest fake footballers ever. (Paste)
Graham Parker on "Bennyball," D.C. United's much-disputed style of play. (ESPN FC)
What happened on Wednesday
You can find recaps of all eight Champions League games here. (UEFA.com)
Sporting KC lost at home to Colorado Rapids, putting their playoff hopes in jeopardy. (MLS)
What to watch on Thursday (click for listings, all times ET)
Europa League: 24 games (from 11 a.m.) - Yep, three separate time slots. Qarabag-Dortmund is the ultra-early, Anderlecht-Spurs is the best game during the normal early time slot and Midtjylland-Napoli is probably your best late option.