Sports Cards For Insane People

Sports Cards For Insane People: Upper Deck FaniMation, Where Athletes Are Murderers

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Image Comics helped define the 1990s: everything was screaming, on fire and covered in pouches. So of COURSE they teamed up with Upper Deck to make some sports cards.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Mascot Cards, Here To Make You Scream In Your Sleep

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Some sports mascots are lovable. Other will give you terrible nightmares. In this episode of Sports Cards For Insane People, we observe these fabric atrocities through the hazy lens of baseball cards.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Have A Happy, Creepy Valentine's Day!

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In this edition of Sports Cards For Insane People, we observe the true meaning of Valentine's Day: the celebration of guys named Valentine, and the ridiculous sports cards they inspired.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Sports Cards And Christmas, A Royal Wedding Of Heartless Commercialism

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Merry Christmas four days ago! In this installment of Sports Cards For Insane People, we look at the sports card industry's past attempts, and failures, to get into the holiday spirit.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Skybox Thunder, When Baseball Card Writers Tried To Rap

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Rap is great. Sports cards are terrible. 1999 was terrible. Rap in 1999 was really, really terrible. Rapping sports cards in 1999 are the very worst thing. In this edition of Sports Cards For...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Police-Issued Cards, Here To Harsh The Buzz Of 8-Year-Olds

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Do you think that small children should do a bunch of drugs? According to sets of sports cards issued by police departments, they should not. Herein, we take a look at some of the crummiest sports...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Pro-Visions Part 2, Or, What Sport Are You Even Playing?

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In this edition of Sports Cards For Insane People, we continue to examine Fleer's Pro-Visions card sets from the 1990s, and explore the ridiculous sports that don't exist and the athletes who don't...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer Pro-Visions, A Toxic Industrial Spill Of Imagination

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Until the early '90s, sports cards were relatively normal. When the folks at Fleer finally snapped, they snapped big-time, and the result was magical rainbow-priest Tony Gwynn, Natrone Means...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Monsters Of The Gridiron, So Depressing They're Spooky

In 1994, Coca-Cola teamed up with Pro-Line to dress NFL players in humiliating costumes and make them hate themselves. We may have stumbled upon the most ridiculous sports card set yet.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Nolan Ryan's Terrifying Sojourn Through Off-Brand Hell

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Nolan Ryan was an exciting player. And when you get sports card companies excited, terrible, horrible things occur. In this installment, we examine the cardboard nightmares that resulted.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer's 'Emotion' Set, The Gas Station Cologne Of Baseball Cards

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The 1995 Emotion baseball card set assigned a single word to describe each player. It was going so well... until they started running out of words.

MLB
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Sports Cards For Insane People: Ultra-Pro Cards, The Least Valuable Objects Ever Produced

Yep, Hal Morris with a tennis racquet. This early-'90s limited edition of 250,000 cards features copy-proof holograms on the back, though, so you'd better resist the overwhelming urge to try to...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Topps Big, In Which Every Person Is A White Person

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Welcome to Topps Big, a set of too-big baseball cards that was artistically negligent to the point of racism. Did you know that Barry Bonds was white? Did you know that every baseball player ever...

Sports Cards For Insane People: The Awesome 1880's Athletes Of The World

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In 1887, surviving a week without cholera was considered a sport. It even got you your own sports card, something Spencer Hall explains here.

Sports Cards For Insane People: Metal Universe, Fleer's Cardboard Horror Show

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The sports card industry flew off the rails in the 1990s, and Fleer's Metal Universe baseball, football, and basketball series may be the most disturbing evidence of this. Behold the terrifyingly...

Sports Cards For Insane People: Score's Early '90s 'Dream Team' Subset

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In the 1990s, everyone went completely mad, and the sports card industry was not immune. In the first installment of this series, we look back at the weird props and shirtless men of Score's 'Dream...

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