Wimbledon Anti-Pigeon Hawk Stolen: A Nation Mourns

There is horrifying news out of the 2012 Championships at Wimbledon on Saturday. The nation or island or whatever of England is in shock following the announcement by UK police that Rufus, the anti-pigeon hawk of Wimbledon, has been stolen.

The Associated Press reports that Rufus, who is a Harrier hawk used to keep pigeons away from the skies over the Championships, was stolen between Thursday night and Friday morning from a car parked in a private driveway in a suburb near Wimbledon.

Rufus usually guards the skies with his steely gaze and razor-sharp talons, warding off meddlesome pigeons who want nothing more than to distract competitors and poop on spectators. This is a terrible day, and I think I speak for everyone when I hope for Rufus to be returned quickly and safely.

It was noted that both Rufus and his cage were stolen through an open rear window, thus eliminating the not-out-of-the-question "he just flew away" scenario.

The police did not release a list of suspects, so I would like to offer my own.

- Hawkman

- The Penguin

- That lousy G.I. Joe guy that no one ever bought

- The "tuppence a bag" lady from Mary Poppins (this should probably be the prime suspect)

Hopefully this will not spark a string of similar beloved-animal thefts at Wimbledon. The groundskeepers now need to keep a watchful eye on Maurice the Strawberries-and-Cream Hedgehog, Percy the Pimms Cup Badger and Graham the Shushing Corgi.

For lots more on the 2012 Championships at Wimbledon, please visit SB Nation's dedicated tennis hub. For more information on hawks, head on over to Peachtree Hoops.

Check out the SB Nation Channel on YouTube

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