The Alphabetical

The Alphabetical is full of lies

Around C, the Alphabetical will just start lying to you, because you need a pick-me-up.

The Alphabetical: Nightmare Lists, A Happy Heisman Blip, And The Best Ideas of 2001

This week's Alphabetical is really just an appetizer made of Heisman scraps, openly wondering if UCLA still listens to Five for Fighting, and making terrifying lists for your open coaching job.

The College Football Alphabetical: The Endgame, Or How To Love The Bowl Season

This week's Alphabetical fast-forwards past championships and talks about the most important thing of all: how to enjoy the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and the rest of college football's postseason.

The Alphabetical, Week 12: Chip Kelly Will Eat Anything You Leave On The Counter

In this week's college football Alphabetical, Spencer Hall examines the rally car labrador style of Chip Kelly, the WAC's insistence on using telephones from 1983, and the unfortunate musings of...

The Alphabetical, Week 11: A Non-Defense Defense Of Low Scoring Games

This week's Alphabetical says LSU does what you do but better, and that the MAC is the Toxic Avenger of football conferences.

The College Football Alphabetical, Week 8: Les Miles, Ambidextrous Krav Maga Expert

Recapping college football Week 8, where Les Miles fights with both hands, Testicularity Rankings confirm Mark Dantonio's fortitude, and college football is now officially interesting.

The College Football Alphabetical, Week 7: The Undertaker And Rowdy Roddy Piper On A Collision Course

A full A-to-Z recap of college football Week 7 from Spencer Hall.

The College Football Alphabetical, Week 6: The Donkeys Start To Fall

This week's Alphabetical ponders the quality of your team-donkey, details the disorder at Ohio State, and isn't questioning the sorcery happening at Clemson.

The Alphabetical, Week 5: The Annual And Variable Invincibility Of Alabama

This week's Alphabetical covers the types of clocks installed in QB's heads, wonders if Dan Beebe cursed Texas A&M, and says that Alabama would like you to quit ASAP.

The College Football Alphabetical, Week 4: Ambition Is Overrated

This week's Alphabetical explains how Clemson's season is a Wes Anderson film, Charlie Weis' lack of fancy helps Florida and why we should all be scared of the honey badgers in LSU's secondary.

The College Football Alphabetical, Week 3: Where Football Starts Hurting You

This week's Alphabetical asks you where football hurts you the most, names Taylor Martinez's unique throwing motion, and says sometimes LSU makes everything look like surrender.

College Football Alphabetical, Week 2: The Virtues Of Mediocre Entertainment

Spencer Hall celebrates the competitive mediocrity of Michigan and Notre Dame, awkward facepalms caught on tape and Gary Pinkel's cold disdain for conventional wisdom.

The Alphabetical, Week 1: Where Boise Frightens You With Their Neatness

The first Alphabetical of the 2011 season suggests that you never actually try to score touchdowns, that ambition is overrated, and that Chris Petersen's closet is a house of neatly arranged OCD...

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