So if you guys want to take a lesson in how to get banned, skip past the jump and read 22gigantes's trolling, spamming post that specializes in trolling and spamming. If you'd prefer to write limericks, go ahead and just Shift-A the crap out of this and copy/paste the following limerick-starting template.

There once was a player named [name of giants player]
... [Rhyme A]
... [Rhyme B]
... [Rhyme B]
... [Rhyme A]

Continue reading this post »

With exactly one week to go until Opening Day, the San Francisco Giants still have 39 players in camp. That list will need to be whittled down to 25, which means Giants manager Bruce Bochy has some tough decisions to make.  Enter 22gigantes.

I'm here to help Boch make the final cuts. Of course, there are the obvious ones like Matt Downs and Waldis Joaquin. But it gets kinda tough after that. Let’s take a look at what the Giants’ roster will look like on April 5.

The outfield (7)

Your Opening Day starters will be Mark DeRosa (LF), Aaron Rowand (CF) and Nate Schierholtz (RF), although John Bowker has been making a big push in spring training and could force Schierholtz into a straight platoon. Either way, Bowker is in. Andres Torres, Fred Lewis and Eugenio Velez will also make the team. 

The infield (5)

First base belongs to Aubrey Huff. Utilityman Juan Uribe will be your starting second baseman. Edgar Renteria is the shortstop and Pablo Sandoval will be the Opening Day third baseman. 2B Freddy Sanchez will start the season on the disabled list, so don’t count him on your 25-man roster. Do count Travis Ishikawa, who will back up Huff at first (Huff’s sub-stellar glove demands that Ishikawa remains in San Francisco primarily as a late-inning defensive replacement). The nice thing about having Velez and DeRosa on the roster is that both players can play the infield (and, in particular, second base) to give the everyday guys (read: Uribe) the occasional rest. It’s like having seven infielders for the price of five.

Catchers (2)

Read the rest of this awesome post at 22gigantes.com >> (don't worry; it opens in a new window)

To prove how hateful and unappreciative the misanthropes at McCovey Chronicles are, I just did a search for "Bengie Molina" on this site.  Knowing that Molina (who all MCC manthropes despise) had a great game today in Scottsdale, I wanted to see how many so-called Giants fans on this site actually had something positive to say about Molina (or Brian Sabean, for that matter, who re-signed Molina).  

The "Bengie Molina" search returned the following stats:

• 114 Stories
• 189 Fan Posts
• 54 Fan Shots
• 2,229 Comments

That's a total of 2,586 hits.  And guess what?  Not one single word about today's heroics.  Surprise, surprise, surprise, Seargent Carter.  Them's crickets chirping.  

So let me be the first (and probably ONLY) true Giants fan on this site who will give Brian Sabean, Bengie Molina and Juan Uribe the props they deserved today:

• Bengie Molina went 3-for-3 today with 2 RBI and a home run.  (Buster Posey, by the way, was 0-for-2 and continues to seek his first hit of the spring.)
• Juan Uribe belted a towering 2-run bomb to left today and finished with 3 RBI.
• Brian Sabean re-signed Uribe and Molina this past off-season.  True story.  
• The Giants are 3-0 and have the best record in baseball right now.

Yes, I know.  It's spring training.  The games don't count.  The hitters are ahead of the pitchers.  The Arizona air is dry.  Blah blah blah.  Just admit it, MCC haters.  You can't stand it when Sabean looks right and you look wrong.

We interrupt this Giants blog to bring you this important news.  As if we all didn't already know.

Former A's slugger Mark McGwire has come clean on his dirty little secret.  After trying to dupe us for over ten years, the doper admitted today that he did in fact use steroids in 1998, the year he broke the homerun record.

During a 20-minute phone conference, McGwire's voice cracked more times than those little white Spauldings he blasted into the atmosphere for so many years.

"It's very emotional, it's telling family members, friends and coaches, you know, it's former teammates to try to get ahold of, you know, that I'm coming clean and being honest," he said. "It's the first time they've ever heard me, you know, talk about this. I hid it from everybody."

Uh, no you didn't.  We all knew, Mark.  Even before Jose Canseco implicated you a few years back when he told us about how the two of you took turns injecting each other in the locker room.

So, what's this really about, Mark?  Is this about the Hall of Fame?  Do you think coming clean will somehow convince the Baseball Writers that you're a man of integrity now?  Maybe this is about your plan to be a part-time pinch hitter for Tony LaRussa in St. Louis.  If you just come clean, the questions will go away and you can relive your glory days.

Um, news flash:  many of us still have plenty of questions.  We already knew you were juiced.  Our questions are more to the point:

• Why are you coming clean now, really?
• What do you personally think we should do about the baseball history books (specifically, 1998)?
• Do you seriously think you belong in the Hall Of Fame?
• All of your excuses about using steroids to "recover faster" are just that: excuses, right?
  
• What do you have to say to Congress now?
• All the money you made (from your glory years) has been spent, right?
  
• Tony knew all along, didn't he?

C'mon, Big Mac, be a man of integrity.  Give us the answers that we really want to know.