There's no question I relish my role as the resident BON contrarian (read: jackass), but know that my intentions with the solemn soapbox speech on recruiting below are not to rain on the signing day parade - as I do think the signing of another great class is worthy of an enthusiastic response - it's merely to temper the expectations a bit and remind us all that we are talking about 18 year-olds.

A Recruiting Reminder

The best advice I've ever heard about college football recruiting: "You want your team to have a class that's rated in the top 10 to 15 in the country, where they're ranked exactly doesn't matter, after they're signed, it's all about coaching."

Most football fans would agree that the key to competing at college football's elite level is recruiting. It is the foundation (lifeblood if you will) for which all great programs depend upon. Every year thousands of coaches trade in their whistles and elastic waist-banded Bike shorts for a slick 3-piece suit and a state of the art portable powerpoint presentation deck to go door to door pedaling their programs to increasingly jaded prep stars all across the country.

Everywhere organized football is played, you can bet there are more than just parents and local townsfolk looking on in the stands on Friday nights in the fall. Everybody wants to win and every coach is looking for the next potential blue chip or 5-star to take their program to the next level...whether that level be a winning season, a bowl game appearance, a conference title or even the whole BCS enchilada. And it's not just about the emotional gratification that comes from winning.

College football is big business has never been more of understatement than it is today. Winning teams fill stadiums, go to bowl games and most importantly, command lucrative television (maybe even a whole network) and merchandise deals which in turn help to build bigger, more powerful football programs.

It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to rename the new stadium Baylor's building to "the house that RG3 built."

For quite some time now, recruiting has become so big and so important that it's a cottage industry and practically a sport in and of itself. Hundreds of self-anointed recruiting gurus have made a one-day event into a year-round job and are constantly ranking prep stars (younger every year) and football programs for the depth and quality of their recruiting classes. These so called experts are often littlemore than modern day snake oil salesmen selling newsletter subscriptions to over enthusiastic fans willing to suspend their better judgment just for a chance to dream and imagine what if.

"What if that strong-armed gunslinger from the grid irons of Panhandle is the final piece needed to take my school to the promised land? Well hell, he must be, he's got 5 stars next to his name. The boy stands 6-6 and is 240 pounds of pure muscle and raw talent. He can bench press a buffalo and out run a tumbleweed. Once he signs on the dotted line, the championship is in the bag."

So desperate are many fans to believe that they would drink sand in the dessert if Jesus Shuttlesworth told them to. Unfortunately, perceptions are rarely reality in this case. The fact is, the majority of major college recruits never really contribute significantly on the field. Whether they get injured, drop out because of poor grades/off-the-field distractions, or dare I say it, fail to live up to the hype, many prized recruits never even see the playing field.

Do the math. If even just one of your recruits in any given year is good enough to be a 4-year starter, that means the 3 players at his position who came before and the 3 who came behind will most like never receive significant playing time. Every team is allotted 85 scholarships, but that doesn't change the fact that you can only put 11 out on the field at a time.

So regardless of whether your team just won the National Championship or just got off a 5-7 season, before you start making room in the trophy case because some so called expert just ranked your school's recruiting class tops in the land, you might want to take a second and remember that recruiting is not an exact science.

As a fan of the Longhorns, I'm as excited about the latest crop as the next guy, but I try to remember that most of these boys are barely 18 years-old and probably haven't spent a day of their life away from home. As we all know full well, college is a whole new ballgame and no one really knows for sure how these kids are going to react to the riggors of ballancing the freedoms and responsibilities of being a student-athlete at a big time school.

Recruiting may be key, and I'll be the first to say that without it we'd be no where, but I'll put my faith in a proven coach and a solid program before I bet on a blue chip any day.

National Championships are won in the fall, not in the spring.

Hey you guys, did you know the Texas Longhorns were playing in a bowl game tonight? No, it's true.

We're playing in the Holiday Bowl (again) against Cal and the game is at 7pm (Central Time) on the World Wide Leader (or the NASA channel if you're a Cal fan). I discount double checked it with Aaron Rodgers, so I feel good about the veracity of my statement and would bet my life insurance policy on it.

The game is in San Diego, which as we all know in German means Pacific Life is a big, fat whale's vagina for ditching their sponsorship responsibilities and depriving us all of seemingly endless footage of humpbacks splashing in the ocean to 80's retro-techno dirges during commercial breaks.

It's also true that this is a match-up of two 7-5 teams which begs the question: if a Golden Bear shit in the woods and an endangered Red Wood fell on top of it and there was no one around to hear it except three hippie nerd Cal students protesting the deforestation of womens' pubic and armpit regions, would anybody care?

Anyway, it's a chance for UT to get to a magical 8 wins on the season. Why the number 8 is magic, I don't know. But I think as part of Mack's contract extension talks, if he wins 8, he gets to give Duane Akina a wedgie on his way to Hawaii.

Lastly, less we be remiss and forget that this is Cal's Make-Up Rose Bowl and chance to go revenge of the nerds on us for taking their Worther's Original away and bumping them out of the Grandaddy of them all a few years back. I would certainly like to empathize with their plight, but then I remembered that they really should be spending less time worrying about their Rose Bowl drought and more time figuring out how to get the rainbow spinning wheel of digital death off my computer. Mind your pace, Geek Squad.

With that, let this posting serve as your pre-pre Holiday Bowl Open Thread and feel free to share your thoughts about tonight's game.

Just remember that the game is in San Diego, so keep it classy. But if it burns when you pee so bad that you just can't avoid getting into a McCoy vs Ash pissing matching, just know that I reserve the right to summarily beat you about the head and face...not the face you say...yes, the face.

54b
@longhorn54b

Dear Cal,

No doubt it's rare to find a readymade reason to get excited about a match-up of two 7-5 teams that feature offenses that couldn't be more surprised to find the end zone if they woke up with their heads sewn to the field turf. Admittedly, I too found it amusing that the invitation of our two teams to appear in the 2012 Holiday Bowl was also a convenient excuse for you to rehash and bemoan the Longhorns berth in the '05 Rose Bowl at the purported expense of your equally deserving Golden Bears - perhaps the best team Cal has trotted out on the field in a generation as it featured QB extraordinaire and State Farm spokesman, Arron Rodgers.

Even more amusing, the forthcoming feigned vitriol aimed at Mack Brown and alluding to his on-air bequest of voters back in '04 to move Bevo past Oski the bear on the BCS food chain has, for the most part, been in jest with the exception of a few commenters who are finding it difficult to stay classy, even on their way to San Diego.

That said, what do you say we dispense with the frivolity and give this perceived injustice a little discount double-check treatment of its own. Lord knows your therapist is tired of listening to you explain why the color burnt orange makes you sad and how you blame the Longhorns for your pale skin and iron deficient Vegan-lifestyle.

More to the point, isn't it long past time for you to face the fact that Cal's 52-year Rose Bowl drought is not the reason you were bypassed for promotion to Level 2 Programer at Inatech and have never been able to carry on a conversation with the opposite sex without tugging on your ears, looking at your calculator watch and muttering the word for "retreat" in Klingon?

The healing begins after the jump...

Continue reading this post »

Dear Cal,

No doubt it's rare to find a readymade reason to get excited about a match-up of two 7-5 teams that feature offenses that couldn't be more surprised to find the end zone if they woke up with their heads sewn to the field turf. Admittedly, I too found it amusing that the invitation of our two teams to appear in the 2012 Holiday Bowl was also a convenient excuse for you to rehash and bemoan the Longhorns berth in the '05 Rose Bowl at the purported expense of your equally deserving Golden Bears - perhaps the best team Cal has trotted out on the field in a generation as it featured QB extraordinaire and State Farm spokesman, Arron Rodgers.

Even more amusing, the forthcoming feigned vitriol aimed at Mack Brown and alluding to his on-air bequest of voters back in '04 to move Bevo past Oski the bear on the BCS food chain has, for the most part, been in jest with the exception of a few commenters who are finding it difficult to stay classy, even on their way to San Diego.

That said, what do you say we dispense with the frivolity and give this perceived injustice a little discount double-check treatment of its own. Lord knows your therapist is tired of listening to you explain why the color burnt orange makes you sad and how you blame the Longhorns for your pale skin and iron deficient Vegan-lifestyle.

More to the point, isn't it long past time for you to face the fact that Cal's 52-year Rose Bowl drought is not the reason you were bypassed for promotion to Level 2 Programer at Inatech and have never been able to carry on a conversation with the opposite sex without tugging on your ears, looking at your calculator watch and muttering the word for "retreat" in Klingon?

The healing begins after the jump...

If you'll search the furthest recesses of your hungry-hungry hippocampus, you'll remember that it was you that chose to parlay your 1580 on the SAT and research on the mating habits of Red and White Dwarf stars into a fractional scholarship at Cal - the MIT of the West Coast and armpit of pacifism. You could have had a full ride to study the mating habits of blonde stars at a football factory like USC, but no, you chose to matriculate at an institute whose football program is basically the nerdy girl in high school who once managed to get paired up on a science project with the popular jock in school, then watched "She's All That" one too many times, and convinced herself that an invite to prom was immanent only to hear Mr. Stud Britches ask instead to borrow her environmentally friendly car to go to a movie with a hot cheerleader who didn't even know she existed and ironically probably went on to attend the University of Texas.

The truth hurts I know. And even though that nerdy girl can look halfway doable at times and has a tattoo of Pi on her bikini line where the numbers that go way past the decimal point are tantalizing hidden by her Wonder Woman Underoos, I think if you're honest, you'll admit that she was never meant to be the Rose Bowl Queen or even a princess. Sometimes life is about accepting who you are and appreciating that one date your football program had with the Stanford trombonist.

So what do you say you put the "Fack Muck Brown" t-shirt down, put your "Occupy Uranus" t-shirt back on and go settle in for a marathon of "Big Bang Theory" on TBS. At least the nerd scores in that one anyway.

Best of luck in the Holiday Bowl. May a victory over Texas somehow help you find closure if this letter has not. And if Texas should win the day, may your loss be a gentle reminder that the secret to happiness is setting expectations appropriately. If you set them low enough, good things, like a Holiday Bowl invite, will happen.

Okay, let's bear hug it out,
54b

Dear BONers,

As we limp to the finish and lament the relative impotence of our offense, we hope the hate we feel in our hearts will gird our loins for one final dance with the Agronomists of Texas A&M...better known in the animal kingdom as, "The Ewe."

If there is any justice in this vast wasteland of conference infidelity, Texas will fittingly say goodbye to the Ags by putting over one more win and reminding our zealous neighbors once again that we're not their big brother, we're their daddy.

To mark the occasion, I think it only fitting that we revisit that BON tradition unliked more than any other.

Without any further do-do, I give you, perhaps for the final time...

(tears...of joy...after the jump)

Continue reading this post »

The recent Mark Schlabach article, "Joe failed his biggest decision," on ESPN pulls no punches. I think Schlabach is a bit heavy handed and preachy considering the extraordinary circumstances, but it's interesting how he paints the final chapter as a power struggle between Joe Paterno and the Penn State Board Of Trustees. It's yet another example of the issue at hand and that's the never ending struggle to choose right over wrong.

Schlabach basically alleges that Paterno's voluntary retirement was more of an attempt to preempt the Board and maintain control of his departure than it was an attempt to do the right thing. But as I'm sure we're all aware by now, regardless of motive, it proved fruitless as last night, the Board showed an 82-year old man that dedicated the better part of his life to honoring Penn State the door via a phone call. 61 years and a phone call, wow. By saying so little in such a small way, they said it all. None of us are above reproach. 

Unfortunately, that wasn't even the biggest decision nor the series of subsequent decisions being made because of the one the writer is referring to and that is the decision of Mr. Paterno not to do more to stop an evil so close and dear to him that he was hardly mentally strong enough to admit it, much less address it. 

Only time will tell and history will judge whether or not the Board made the right move. And I'm not here to make that call. But as a horrified onlooker with limited knowledge of all the facts and moving parts, part of me does wish Joe Paterno had just said, "this thing is too big and the ramifications too far reaching and nobody, not even me, is bigger than Penn State...I will step down now for the betterment or Penn State and society." 

As a former college football player and devoted fan of the game, I understand his loyalty to the players and wanting to finish out the season. As a human being, I can certainly understand not wanting to say goodbye to something that was his everything. But as a man, I feel right now in my heart of hearts that he should have walked away. At least then, in my estimation, he would have left on his own terms.

In getting fired, it's perceived as if he felt he deserved to have stayed even after admitting a monumental mistake in judgement by going as far as to say that he should have done more. And I do agree that every day longer that he was the coach of Penn State was like saying to the victims, the Penn State community and society at large that, "I know what I did was wrong, but football is still more important." And that just can't be.

Admittedly and hypocritically, that's just as heavy handed if not more so than Mr. Schlabach's column. If only we could all be as heroic as we are in hindsight, we'd make better decisions. So know that I bare Joe Paterno know ill will and am truly humbled knowing one of the best amongst us was humbled. 

But this is my process and perhaps yours for coping with realization of the unimaginable.

Biggest sports scandal of our time or perhaps any time? What a trivial thing to ask. I think we'll need some time and distance to accurately judge. But I ask such a trivial question to ask one much more important. If the Black Sox scandal stole our sports innocence and the OJ Trial made us question our own prejudices and sensibilities, has this one ultimately shaken us to the core of our very being?

I've always liked to believe that man is inherently good. I form that basis from a religious context. You may have a different value and belief system. Regardless, I think the majority of us feel within the depths of our souls, that if given the choice, we'd choose to do the right thing even when the Earthly reward for doing so is great personal pain, hardship, and having to admit that our fellow man is capable of unfathomable atrocities.

Admittedly, this whole ordeal has made me question my beliefs and myself. Perhaps I am weaker than the rest of you. But it does make me think for a moment that man is neither inherently good nor evil, we're just self-preservationists living to maintain a perception that's more susceptible to human frailly and vice than we've ever been courageous enough to admit. And that, more than anything I've read or heard about this heartbreaking Penn State sadness, is almost more than I can bare to process.

That said, I awoke today empowered by the realization that where one person or a group of people may fail and continue to fail, our society as a whole can still prevail. This stain, this burden that Penn State will have to carry will serve as a reminder that while we can't always right the wrongs, we can still determine the difference between right and wrong and strive to never let it happen again.

If you'll permit me to risk insensitivity in order to make a point, I will say that if anything good can come from this heinous crime against humanity it is that our society and our love for a country - where even the mightiest and seemingly most infallible can still be humbled in the name of justice - were made stronger. 

Untold numbers of victims of child abuse have not been mentally strong enough to stop the evil happening to them. Mike McQueary wasn't mentally strong enough to go back into that shower and stop the evil he was witnessing. Joe Paterno and other PSU official around him were not mentally strong enough to stop the evil they were made aware of. And though I wish like hell that I could tell you right now that I would have been mentally strong enough in the face of similar extraordinary circumstances, I can not. I don't think any of us truly can. 

But our society was, is and will continue to be strong enough. And we all got a little mentally stronger for it.  And along with a prayer for the victims, I also pray that this awful scar on our sense of virtue empowers each of us, from the weakest minded to the mightiest with the most to lose, to be mentally stronger should we ever be tested in the face of a similar evil.

Just as any of us could have, Joe Paterno may have failed his biggest decision, but our society did not.

Originally published in the Maple Street Press Longhorns Kickoff 2011 guide...

Texas vs. Missouri • Faurot Field • Columbia, MO • November 12, 2011

Transportation: Columbia is located on I-70, right in the middle of Missouri, about a two hour drive from Lambert-St. Louis International Airport (STL), and around 2.5 hours from Kansas City's MCI airport. There is a shuttle service called MoEx (moexpress.com) from both airports to the campus area, but renting a car and driving in is still optimal for convenience and flexibility. Also, Delta does offer a limited number of flights into Columbia (COU) through Memphis. If you book early, you may be able to fly round trip quite affordably.

Lodging: Faurot Field is located about a mile south of I-70 at the intersection of Stadium Blvd. and Providence Road. There are several lodging options in close proximity to the stadium and the hotels near the intersection of I-70 and Hwy 63 are relatively new. If there are no vacancies in Columbia, Booneville (casino) or Jefferson City are good alternatives.  

Hampton Inn & Suites, 1225 Fellow's Place, 573-214-2222

The Tiger Hotel, 23 South 8th Street, 573-875-8888

Holiday Inn, 2200 I-70 Drive SW, 573-445-8531

Restaurants/Bars: Just north of campus is an expansive shopping and dining area of town called The District (discoverthedistrict.com), featuring a host of locally owned and operated restaurants, brew pubs, and bistros. 

54b's Picks:

Shakespeare's Pizza, 225 S. 9th Street, 573-449-2454

Booches Billiard Hall (Burgers), 110 S. 9th Street, 573-874-9519

Flat Branch (Brew Pub), 115 S. 5th Street, 573-499-0400

Heidelberg, 410 S. 9th Street, 573-449-6927

Harpo's Bar, 29 S. 10th Street, 573-443-5418

McNally's Irish Pub & Grill, 7 N. 6th Street, 573-441-1284

CC's City Broiler (Steakhouse, $$), 1401 Forum Blvd., 573-445-7772

Tailgating: Tigers fans love to pre-game party and are friendly to any and all fans not affiliated with the Kansas Jayhawks. Nearly all the parking lots and garages on campus permit open containers on game days and the most popular tailgating spots are in the lots just south and east of the stadium near the Hearnes Center. Most of the students tailgate south of the stadium along Providence Street. Harpo's Bar is definitely the place to be before the game, and locals recommend stopping by Tropical Liqueurs (515 E. Broadway) to order a "Tiger Paw" or one of several other delicious daiquiris on your way to the tailgate.

Tickets: Memorial Stadium/Faurot Field can accommodate up to 70,000 and the grassy hill beyond the north end zone features open seating. If tickets can't be secured through Missouri's ticket office (800-228-7297, mutigers.cstv.com), try purchasing them at online auction sites or on the day of the game. Scalping is legal near the stadium and scalpers can be found in the tunnel under Stadium Blvd. that connects the Jones Dorm parking lot with the entrance to Faurot Field.

Gameday Traditions: The Big "M" comprised of whitewashed rocks on the hill beyond the north end zone was originally erected before the 1927 homecoming game as a stunt. The school's nickname was inspired by a group of vigilantes, also called the Missouri Tigers, who banded together to protect the town of Columbia from plundering guerilla bands during the Civil War era. And Mizzou's mascot, Truman the Tiger, was named after President Harry S. Truman, who grew up in Missouri.  

Local Attractions: Art buffs will definitely want to spend some time at the Museum of Art and Archeology (maa.missouri.edu) located in Pickard Hall on campus. And just west of Columbia near Rocheport is the renowned Les Bourgeois Vineyards where you can sample a variety of fine wines on a blufftop with a spectacular view of the Missouri River Valley.

Special thanks to the folks over at rockmnation.com 

Please welcome back to the main page the critically acclaimed weekly BON feature, "3's Company," an unapologetic rip-off of the smash 70's sitcom of similar nomenclature and feeble attempt to help explain UT's confounding quarterback rotation to the common fan...or Lay-Horn. (Click here for Pilot episode).

SETTING: Young quarterbacks David Ash and Case McCoy are roommates and share a 2-bedroom apartment with freshman phenom receiver, Jaxon Shipley, at a time in the cultural milieu (fancy word for time and place) when the dual QB system is considered taboo.

The pressure on the three young roommates is intense as the fate of the Longhorns football season likely rests in their hands. Their attempts to make the unorthodox ensemble arrangement work on and off the field often lead to palpable tension and comedic gold. Making matters worse, their landlord just happens to be new offensive coordinator, Bryan Harsin, who has an uncanny knack for dropping by the apartment when least expected.

Watch as the hilarity ensues after the jump...

Continue reading this post »

Please welcome to the main page a new weekly BON feature called, "3's Company." It's an unapologetic rip-off of the smash 70's sitcom of the same name and a feeble attempt to help explain UT's confounding quarterback rotation to the common fan...or Lay-Horns as I like to refer to them.

SETTING: Young quarterbacks David Ash and Case McCoy are roommates and share a 2-bedroom apartment with freshman phenom receiver, Jaxon Shipley, at a time in the cultural milieu (fancy word for time and place) when the dual QB system is considered taboo.

The pressure on the three young roommates is intense as the fate of the Longhorns football season likely rests in their hands. Their attempts to make the unorthodox ensemble arrangement work on and off the field often lead to palpable tension and comedic gold. Making matters worse, their landlord just happens to be new offensive coordinator, Bryan Harsin, and he has an uncanny knack for dropping by the apartment when least expected.

Watch as the hilarity ensues after the jump...

Continue reading this post »

Portions of this piece originally published in The Maple Street Press Longhorns 2011 KIckoff Preview Guide...

Whether this is your first or fifty-first trip to the annual grudge match, below are some suggestions to help you make the most of one of, if not the best tradition in all of college football:

Red River Rivalry • Texas vs. Oklahoma • The Cotton Bowl • Dallas, TX • October 8, 2011 • 11:00 A.M.

Overview: Expectations are running high in Norman as the Sooners continue to be listed at or near the top of the national polls. Meanwhile, Longhorns fans are simply ecstatic over the significant signs of progress from a team returning after Mack Brown's first losing season at Texas. Both teams enter the game undefeated and ranked in the Top 10, but Texas is a decided underdog (+10.5) for this edition of the Red River Rivalry – not a terrible position to be in considering the century-old clash has a long history of upsets.

Transportation: With Dallas being an easy drive from UT's other alumni havens of Austin, Houston and San Antonio, the majority of out-of-town Longhorns fans will likely motor in for the game. And with 35,000-plus Texas fans expected to make the trip-not to mention all the OU fans who make their homes in Texas who will also be driving in-be forewarned that the major highways leading into Dallas from the south (I-35 and I-45) will be extremely congested and typical driving times can easily double, especially throughout Friday afternoon before the game.

[UPDATE]: Note to those of you driving up I-35...there was a massive fire at a chemical factory in Waxahachie (about 30 miles south of Dallas) today. Probably won't cause a traffic problem for TX/OU fans, but you may want to keep an eye on it.

For those flying in, renting a car would be optimal for its flexibility and convenience getting around, but Dallas does feature a public transportation system, DART, and it includes a light rail option with stops within walking distance of several downtown hotels. The stop for Fair Park is on the Green Line and has become an increasingly popular mode of transportation on game day. If taking the light rail, you'll want to leave two to three hours before kick off to avoid delays and crowded railway cars. Also, with parking around Fair Park at a premium, taking a taxi to and from the game can be a very attractive and viable option.

Lodging: (Little late now, but good advice for next year) Though some fans drive in for the game and back home that same day, most choose to make a weekend out of it and stay both Friday and Saturday nights. Hotel options are limited near Fair Park, so lodging in or around downtown typically books up first and features rates that are higher on average. That said, with over 70,000 hotel rooms in the DFW area, there will certainly be space available and good deals to be had. Budget-conscious fans who are willing to drive a little farther would be wise to check with the hotels that cater specifically to business travelers and typically feature lower rates on weekends, many of which are located in the suburbs north and west of Dallas (Addison, Plano, Las Colinas, etc.).

Restaurants/Bars: Commerce Street in downtown Dallas was long considered ground zero the Friday night before the game. Fueled by copious amounts of liquid courage, fans of both teams would line the street, rarely missing an opportunity to confront opposing fans as they walked or drove by. After years of barely controlled chaos (and thousands of arrests), an unfortunate shooting incident in 1992 finally convinced Dallas city officials to put an end to the revelry. Since then, the night before the game has become somewhat more subdued (relatively speaking), with many fans attending private parties. But there are still plenty of opportunities to let OU fans know exactly how you feel, and you'll most likely find fans of both schools in the restaurants/bars in the following areas:

• Deep Ellum - Located just east of downtown across Central Expressway (I-75), primarily on Elm, Main and Commerce streets. Similar to Austin's 6th Street entertainment district, Deep Ellum caters to younger adults and is renowned for its many live music venues and raucous bar scene. For a list of bars and restaurants and to see what bands will be playing TX/OU weekend, visit deepellumtexas.com.
• Uptown - Located just north of downtown, primarily on or near McKinney Avenue between Pearl Street and Lemmon Avenue. The Uptown scene is probably best described as a "young professional" or "see and be seen" crowd. For a list of bars and restaurants, visit uptowndallas.net.
• Knox-Henderson/Lower Greenville - Located about five minutes north of downtown and slightly east of Central Expressway (I-75), you'll find a pocket of relatively new and highly acclaimed restaurants with great food all along Henderson Avenue. Proceed another mile or so east and you'll hit Greenville Avenue (between Henderson and Mockingbird Lane), where you'll find several fun, casual bars and restaurants that have been around for years and are practically Dallas institutions.

54b's Picks:

• The Porch, 2912 N. Henderson Avenue, 214-828-2916
• Bob's Steak and Chop House ($$, reservations rec'd), 4300 Lemmon Avenue, 214-528-9446
• Campisi's (Italian), 5610 E. Mockingbird Lane, 214-827-0355
• Manny's Uptown (Tex-Mex), 3521 Oak Grove Avenue, 214-252-11616
• McKinney Avenue Tavern, 2822 McKinney Avenue Tavern, 214-969-1984
• Adair's Saloon, 2624 Commerce Street, 214-939-9900

Tailgating/State Fair:  With so much to see and do inside the grounds of the fair, tailgating is typically limited to those fans who arrive extremely early to get spots in the parking lots surrounding Fair Park. By 10 a.m., most fans have entered the fair grounds, many of whom congregate between the southeast side of the stadium and the Coliseum (big "blue box" building) to watch and cheer or jeer as the team buses arrive. Several popular food and beverage concessionaires like Fletcher's Corny Dogs are located in this area as well. For more information and maps, visit bigtex.com.

Keep in mind these tips for arriving and making your way to the game:

• Arrival - Whether by car, cab or light rail, plan on arriving at and entering the fair grounds at least two to three hours before kick-off.
• Parking - If it's a State Fair-sanctioned parking lot, the fee will be $15 and most of these lots fill up by 10 a.m. Many of the property owners in the surrounding neighborhoods secure a license with the city to sell parking spaces on or near their properties. Prices vary and typically depend on proximity to the fair. While this is a commonly accepted practice, use discretion and park at your own risk. You'll want to verify that they are licenseed or you may be towed, as those parking spaces tend to be monitored throughout the day.
• Coupons - Most all food, beverages and activities in the fair require coupons for purchase. Booths selling coupons (valued at 50 cents per) are located throughout the fair. Expect food and beverage pricing similar to that found at a professional sports venue.
• Stadium - The city of Dallas made several improvements to the Cotton Bowl a few years back, but you're still advised to arrive at the stadium at least 30 to 45 minutes before kick off. Entering through the gate listed on your ticket is also advisable, as the corridors within the stadium can get quite congested, making it difficult to move quickly from section to section.
• Tickets - The game is always a sellout, with both schools easily selling their allotments of tickets. If tickets can't be secured through the schools, auction sites like eBay or Stubhub may be your best bet, as purchasing tickets on the day of the game can be difficult. There are typically scalpers on the street corners or roaming the parking lots adjacent to the fair, but because the game ticket includes an admittance stub to the fair, fewer tickets are sold inside the fair near the stadium.

Gameday Traditions: This year will mark the 106th meeting between the two teams, making the game a tradition in and of itself. Dallas is located almost exactly halfway between both campuses, and seating is divided equally between the schools, with each fan base filling half the stadium from either side of the 50 yard line. As mentioned, lining the streets to cheer or jeer the team buses as they make their way to the stadium is a popular game day tradition. Others include the famous tunnel from which both teams enter the field, the Golden Hat Trophy and, of course, the chants, gestures, and paraphenalia specifically created for antagonizing the opposing fans. Longhorns fans enjoy inserting the words "O-U Sucks" into UT's fight song while the Sooners fans never miss an opportunity to flash an upside-down "Hook'em Horns" hand gesture.

Lastly, while not an official tradition, it has become commonplace for the winning fan base to remain in the stands long after the game has ended to savor another precious victory as the band serenades the players celebrating on the field. For Texas fans, every singing of "The Eyes of Texas" is sacred, but you'll rarely hear it sung more passionately than you will in the Cotton Bowl after a victory over Oklahoma.

Experienced fans, feel free to add your own tips below. 

Originally published in The Maple Street Press Texas Longhorns 2011 Preview Guide...

Each year, on a fateful October Saturday in Dallas, after only a few hours of restless sleep, we rise before the crack of dawn, completely wired, and approach our already-laid-out clothes like a player approaching his locker to suit up for battle. We've thought out everything about attending the annual Red River Rivalry in meticulous detail, down to the driving route we'll take to a previously scouted parking area. As my fellow Longhorns fans and I drive through the darkened streets of southeast Dallas, the anticipation builds to the point that we can hardly speak. The silence breaking only when the ice in our cooler full of liquid courage cracks as the car bounces over the first speed bump in the parking lot. Off in the distance, through the early morning haze, the lights of the Cotton Bowl gleam forebodingly.

As the parking lot quickly fills to capacity, we trade degrading remarks with the fans from north of the river that runs red in a thinly veiled attempt to convince each other that we haven't any doubt whose team will win the day. Regardless of the purported demeanor, it's easy to recognize the anxiety in fans' eyes, because we know all too well from years of monumental victories and crushing defeats that winning the Red River Rivalry means everything.

Read on if you'd like to feel the first chill of fall...

Continue reading this post »

Editor's Note: Amusingly, 54b came up with this post without knowing that our friends over at the hilarious and irreverent Iowa State blog Wide RIght & Natty Lite have been doing Steele Jantz Facts for the past couple weeks, as well. This is a great time to note that they've migrated their hilarity over to SB Nation. Head on over to WR&NL and enjoy the ruckus. --PB-- 

In honor of UT's upcoming game against undefeated Iowa State and the Cyclone's Tim-Tebow-esque signal caller, I thought it only appropriate that we get to know Steele Jantz a little better.

Did you know that...

Steele Jantz entered his name into the Porn Star Name Generator and it came back, Steele Jantz.

Chuck Neinas sends Steele Jantz a cookie bouquet every day hoping he'll stay in the Big XII.

Steele Jantz farts magic tornados.

"If you build it, he will come" actually refers to ISU's new Jumbotron and Steele Jantz.

Steele Jantz has his own show on the Longhorn Network. 

Erin Andrews won't interview Steele Jantz because he makes her look like Shelley Smith.

More after the jump...

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For all of you that have severe tired head from realignment talk and are still confused as to just what the hell is going on, I figured why not let Stealers Wheel (posing as Longhorns fans) sum it up for us with their timeless hit... 

Stuck In The Big 12 With OU

Well I can't believe what I heard last night,
David Boren said something that just ain't right,
He wants Beebe knocked out his chair,
And LHN strung up by the short hairs...

Pac 12 to the left of UT,
ACC to the right, here we are,
Stuck in the Big 12 with OU.

Yes we're stuck in the Big 12 with OU,
And we're wondering what it is we should do,
It's so hard with every school trying to save face,
Losing control, yeah, we're all over the place,
Pac 12 to the left of UT, Big East to the right,
Here we are, stuck in the Big 12 with OU.

Well OU started out saying nothing,
When Aggie bolted and the shit hit the fan,
And then the rest of the Big XII started bawlin,
And OU called Larry Scott back to say,
Please.... Please.....

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But realignment makes no sense at all,
Going independent startin' to sound better for sure,
'Cause We're Texas and we don't give a shit anymore
Pac 12 to the left of UT, SEC to the right,
Here we are, stuck in the Big XII with OU.

Well OU started out saying nothing,
When Aggie bolted and the shit hit the fan,
And then the rest of the Big XII started bawlin,
And OU called Larry Scott back to say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I can't believe what I heard last night,
Larry Scott said something that just ain't right,
He said the Pac 12's gonna stay right there,
And Dodds and Castiglione said, "ain't we a pair,"
Pac 12 to the left of UT,
ACC to the right, here we are,
Stuck in the Big 12 with OU.

OU, suck it up. We're in this together whether you like it or not. Quit acting like everything isn't going to work out for us. You know we will be fine.

A&M, we will call you about the damage deposit later. Just get the hell out already. Enjoy the SEC and realizing your destiny of becoming Mississippi State 2 - Eclectic Boof-A-Ewe. 

To the rest of what's left of the Big IIX, take a Xanex. Let's see if we can't figure this thing out just like we did last year. The conference, even without Nebraska, is probably better top to bottom than it's ever been. We don't need to blow it up.

Yes, I'm sure our TV network gives your remote control reason to push pause, but we're just getting top dollar for our Third Tier Rights. And it's not like Texas didn't already have more money than Davey Crocket before this deal. Nothing has really changed other than we can now watch a lot more Lady Longhorn Basketball.

So what do you say we all just get back to football season. There are a couple of big time conference games this weekend. The A&M-OSU game will draw national interest and OU vs. Mizzou should be big as well. Us Horns have got a big game against upstart 3-0 Iowa State coming up the following weekend and the Clones were so excited, they apparently just got a new Jumbotron down at Rent-A-Center. And you know they don't want the Big 12 to go away. That sucker was bought with a Payday Loan backed up with future conference TV checks. And why are those TV checks so big? Well not all, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that UT brings a whole shit load of viewers to the bargaining table and network execs know The Eyes Of Texas really are upon you.

Long live the Big XII. 

54b

@longhorn54b

Okay, okay, I know I went 5-7 picking Texas games straight up last season. It happens. But look what I tweeted the Wednesday before the Rice game last week....

@longhorn54b: "Unbeknownst to most UT fans, LHN launched yesterday and Texas beat Rice 33-13; Gilbert was workmanlike: 18-27, 263 yds, 2 TDs, 0 ints"

Actual line: Texas 34, Rice 9; Gilbert 13-23, 239 yds, 1 TD, 0 Ints.

I'm back, baby! Oh yeah, I was feelin' it. You usually can't get that kind of clairvoyance without a Magic 8 Ball and some street drugs. I was in the BON zone for sure. And if you'd been following me on twitter religiously, you would have known this and wouldn't have been so concerned about having to pirate LHN.

Hey, don't bust balls. You have no one to blame but ignorance and awesomeness.

Fortunately for the incredulous but easily swayed masses, I'm willing to overlook what can only be construed as a social faux pas on my social media self-esteem and try to share my gift of speculation with you once again.

So just who will win when Bevo tussles with BYU?

I'm glad you didn't ask.

Because for that capricious prognostication, it's time once again for the always unbiased, unabated, unabridged, unethical, uneducated, and always uncensored...

Continue reading this post »

The Longhorns declaring their athletic independence (at least in football anyway) has been bandied about for quite some time now. And while I don't think anyone doubts it's plausibility, especially of late, I also don't get the feeling most UT fans really think it's a distinct possibility - what with the holiday super conference shopping season right around the corner and Larry Scott making his list and checking it twice to find out who's been OU and who's been Baylor.

As with anything college football related, Belmont's next move will most likely come down to guaranteed and potential monetary gain. But let's suspend fiscal disbelief for a minute and visualize what an independent football schedule might actually look like as if its attractiveness to fans were the determining factor of what UT does next...

Continue reading this post »

Heard on the radio this morning that Chip "You're doin' a hell of a job" Brownie is saying the ACC is very interested in Texas and we're not exactly not taking their calls. WTF? I thought ACC was where you go when you flunk out of UT, not where you go when you flunk out of the Big XII.

Apparently Texas is interested in the ACC because there are no conflicts with our network and we could use their rain.

And why would there be a conflict with our network seeing how nobody watches the ACC on any of the other channels either...except when they're the only game on like last night where Maryland proved once again that they know football, crab cakes and applying for the open Court Jester job at Medieval Times.

 I for one am hoping we pursue the CFL.

Longhorns vs. Argonauts. How crazy awesome would that be? 

To all you Longhorns fans complaining about your inability to get the Longhorn Network, in your drunken rage did you ever stop to think about those less fortunate football fans who are also being hurt by all this? That's right, the innocent Rice Owls.

So let's show a little respect and take a minute to apologize to them...

Dear Rice,

It's your old pal, UT. Well not really, but we did have 9th grade biology together, remember? I still laugh about the time I used your shyness and inability to talk to girls to illustrate Darwin's theory of natural selection. Oh, sweet memories.

Speaking of those special times, I hope you're not still angry about when I tricked you into doing a blindfolded sit-up into my butt crack after gym class. That was thoughtless of me and there's no excuse for that kind of behavior, especially after having had Taco Bell for lunch that day. What can I say, I was just a dumb kid.

Anyway, the real reason I'm contacting you today is to apologize about this whole LHN mess. I know what you're thinking and no, LHN is not the recently discovered moon orbiting around Uranus or the pesticide causing low birth weight in Emperor Penguins. It's actually my very own television network and it also happens to be the only channel airing our football game tomorrow. Yes, believe it or not, Rice still participates in that sport you swore was only played by mouth-breathers and public school children.

And though I know you don't watch television unless Neil deGrasse Tyson or reruns of the original Star Trek are on, you should know that I'm sorry anyway that the game will only be available on like 2% of televisions. But think about it this way, you actually have a better chance of getting to second base than you do of seeing this game.

Okay, so good luck tomorrow. And please know that Deloss wasn't really going to take your lunch money had you refused to be on LHN. He only steals from the Aggies. 

Best regards,

U.T.

What's up Boners?

Since I can hardly handle reading anymore good news about the Aggies SECeding...or LHN proudly announcing that it'll be offered on close circuit prison cable TV...or Jaxson Shipley's sister giving Harsinwhite advice on which QB to start via Twitter...or Hopkins Horn taking his football and going home (WTF)...

I thought we'd discuss something much more positive and good for the soul like Ex-UT back-up QB Matt Nordgren's first episode of Most Eligible Dallas.

Far be it from me to begrudge a former Longhorns football player the opportunity to extend his 15 minutes of fame while getting paid to drag some quality strange home from Dallas chi-chi bars. But something tells me espousing the virtues of being a man-whore on basic cable is not what Mack Brown had in mind when he told Matt and his teammates, "if you have enough about you to win a national championship, you've got enough about you to be a great citizen and a great role model."

Oh well. I'm sure Matt Nordgren's exploits on Bravo are a minor inconvenience when compared to the other PR challenges the athletic department has faced over the years. And if you're shocked that the network that brought us Queer Eye For The Straight Guy has attempted to outdo itself with what basically amounts to Queer Hag For The Douche Bag, then you're probably writing your congressman to complain that Matt and his spray tan team of 30-somethings have managed to downgrade irreverent reality TV to a AA+ rating.

Continue reading this post »

Anybody else getting tired of reading "Big 12-2" every time the conference is mentioned?

It's not just a name that bloggers use either. I've seen it written that way in the mainstream press as well. I get it. It's a passive aggressive reminder to Dan Beebe and the rest of the Big XII Politburo that size DOES matter and we aren't all that interested in letting a conference made of ten teams continue to live a lie.

That said, from a marketing perspective, I can certainly appreciate and understand why conference officials don't want to walk away from a decade of brand equity in the current name/logo (not to mention the costs of rebranding everything), particularly if there are already plans in the works to add a couple of teams in the near future. Moreover, it's not like the Big Ten hasn't already set a precedent by keeping their name despite years of having 11 teams and now 12.

Regardless, the fact remains that no matter how you quantify it, we've got ten teams and we're still referring to ourselves as the Big XII (the recent media days being a big fat reminder). And I'd rather see us embrace who we are than spend what days this conference has left apologizing for who we are not.

So I was thinking...we've got a lot of clever card carrying BON bastards always at the ready for another plum posting assignment. So what do you say we crowd source some potential new names for the Big XII?

I'm going with:

The Premiere Conference
The Tornado Alliance
Rocky Mountain East Conference (makes us sound big and less flat)
Big Balls and Cowtowns Conference

SCC - South Central Conference 

Yeah, we can do better. Let's hear some more. Or just tell me to quit crying and worrying about not being, you know, bigger.

54b

PS. If you actually seen any articles where the Big XII has directly addressed whether or not it will change its name, please link to them too. 

Thank you to all of you brave enough to submit questions...you will always be part of the first (and probably last) OmBONsman Mailbag...on to the questions:

How can I know when an aggie is acting in true form vs. acting uppity? - TXStampede

Thank ewe for starting us off with what I'm pretty sure is a trick question. When is an Aggie not uppity? I mean seriously, this is a fan base that never sits down because they shit themselves every time a dog barks. But since you bothered to ask, I figured I'd do due diligence and ask our resident agronomist what he thought...unfortunately Beergut was too busy mattress shopping and trying to calculate his Sheep Number to respond. Oh well, best policy is just to give them a wide berth and remember what zoo keepers always say, "Aggies are more afraid of you than you are of them."

As an attorney I'm suppose to bill hourly at work. Instead, I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to follow the Longhorns and checking BON relentless to see if there are any new developments. - Wrangler86

(Please insert your own lawyer overabundance joke here). I swear BON has got to be the most latently litigious sports site on the interwebs. Hell, half our site editors have their JDs and I'm pretty sure Dime was a Court Reporter in a past life.

If I ever need any free legal advice or want to find out how to file a claim on the mineral rights under DKR via my season ticket donation, I bet I'd get more qualified answers here than I would on LegalZoom because none of you lawyers can resist an opportunity to counsel counselors.

Rant over.

As for your addiction to BON, I don't know...get a puppy.

More helpful responses after the jump...

Continue reading this post »

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what an ombudsman is or does. If we go by ESPN's definition, it's a guy that has an important sounding title, but no real power and is only responsible for listening to complaints and standing next to train wrecks so he can tell people, "nothing to see here, move along." Sounds about as fun as being the lost baggage desk jockey at the airport.

Regardless, if BON ever plans on unseating the World Wide Leader, we can't be showing up to the coronation one ombudsman short now can we?

So me, 54b, is dutifully and irreverently volunteering for the job and I invite you, cherished BONers, to send me questions, comments, complaints, rants, whatever's on your mind...I'm not a very smart man, but sometimes I know about, you know, stuff. I'll try to some answers once a week or once a month depending on how many questions I get.

Just don't send or forward me anything political, racial, illegal, etc. Oh and nothing solicitous either. I'm tired of having my heart broken by that cyber siren that keeps emailing me to say that "she want get no me more better because she think I am a specialty person." If I'm so special, why do I have to send so much money to get to know her. Plus, I don't even get a full body shot. 

Anyway, send it here:

54bblog@gmail.com

That's right, there are two b's like in that children's book about elephants. 

Oh and if you want answers on recruiting, X's and O's or want to talk about actual sports stuff, post that over in the fan section or send it to Peter. He actually cares. Now, that said, if you want to discuss Peter's refusal to stop sporting the Justin Bieber hairdo because he's technically worn his hair like that since puberty and why should he have to change his hair on account of that no talent ass clown...well, you send that to me, 54b.

Is this a blatant rip-off the SportsGuy's mailbag and a cheap way to reach my posting quota? Likely.

But we still got to get thru August. What the hell else are we going to do?

Let me hear from ya.
54b

PS. You're in the trust tree with me...if I answer your question online, I won't include your email address or actual name. Just tell me your BON member name. 

Rock M Nation,

No doubt you'd rather give Truman a cat bath than do a solid for a Longhorn, but you guys were instrumental in helping me with a travel tips column I wrote a few years ago and I would be much appreciative if you'd read the tips below and suggest changes and updates for Longhorns visit to Columbia next November.

Thanks in advance,

54b

PS. I doubt the Longhorns are playing during Mizzou's Homecoming this time around, so that'll have to change.

Texas vs. Missouri • Faurot Field • Columbia, MO • November 12, 2011

Overview: Galvanized by success under Gary Pinkel and several strong recruiting classes, Tigers fans have rekindled their passion for football, and chances are good that both game tickets and hotel vacancies will be equally scarce on Saturdays in Columbia this fall, especially when the Longhorns come to town during Missouri's hallowed Homecoming Weekend.

Transportation: Columbia is located on I-70, right in the middle of Missouri, about a two hour drive from Lambert-St. Louis International Airport, and around 2.5 hours from Kansas City's MCI airport. There is a shuttle service called MoEx (moexpress.com) from both airports to the campus area, but renting a car and driving in is optimal, as a car will be helpful for getting around to all the events of the weekend.

Lodging: Faurot Field is located about a mile south of I-70 at the intersection of Stadium Blvd. and Providence Road. There are several lodging options in close proximity to the stadium and the hotels near the intersection of I-70 and Hwy 63 are relatively new. If there are no vacancies in Columbia, Jefferson City is a good alternative.

Stoney Creek Inn, 2601 S. Providence Road, 573-442-6400

Hampton Inn & Suites, 1225 Fellow's Place, 573-214-2222

Courtyard by Marriott, 3301 Lemone Industrial Blvd., 573-443-8000

Restaurants/Bars: Just north of campus is an expansive shopping and dining area of town called The District featuring a host of locally owned and operated restaurants, brew pubs, and bistros.

54b's Picks:

Shakespeare's Pizza, 225 S. 9th Street, 573-449-2454

Booches Billiard Hall (Burgers), 110 S. 9th Street, 573-874-9519

Flat Branch (Brew Pub), 115 S. 5th Street, 573-499-0400

Heidelberg, 410 S. 9th Street, 573-449-6927

Harpo's Bar, 29 S. 10th Street, 573-443-5418

McNally's Irish Pub & Grill, 7 N. 6th Street, 573-441-1284

Tailgating: Tigers fans love to pre-game party and are friendly to any and all fans not named Kansas (their fiercest rivals). Nearly all the parking lots and garages on campus permit open containers on game days and the most popular tailgating spots are in the lots just south and east of the stadium near the Hearnes Center. Most of the students tailgate south of the stadium along Providence Street. Harpo's Bar is definitely the place to be before the game, and locals recommend stopping by Tropical Liqueurs (515 E. Broadway) to order a "Tiger Paw" or one of several other delicious daiquiris on your way to the tailgate.

Tickets: Memorial Stadium/Faurot Field can accommodate up to 70,000 and the grassy hill beyond the north end zone features open seating. If tickets can't be secured through Missouri's ticket office (800-228-7297, mutigers.cstv.com), try purchasing them at online auction sites or on the day of the game. Scalping is legal near the stadium and scalpers can be found in the tunnel under Stadium Blvd. that connects the Jones Dorm parking lot with the entrance to Faurot Field.

Gameday Traditions: The Big "M" comprised of whitewashed rocks on the hill beyond the north end zone was originally erected before the 1927 homecoming game as a stunt. The school's nickname was inspired by a group of vigilantes, also called the Missouri Tigers, who banded together to protect the town of Columbia from plundering guerilla bands during the Civil War era. And Mizzou's mascot, Truman the Tiger, was named after President Harry S. Truman, who grew up in Missouri.

Local Attractions: As mentioned in the overview, please note that this will be Missouri's Homecoming Weekend and it's especially meaningful to Tigers fans because the concept of a "homecoming game" actually originated at Mizzou in 1911. On Friday evening, many fans will be found walking through the cordoned-off area known as Greek Town (Providence Road and Burnham Avenue) where many of the fraternities and sororities will have created elaborate scenes in front of their houses and will perform skits for passers by in an annual event call "House Decs." The Greek community also constructs intricate floats for the Homecoming Parade on Saturday morning.

[UPDATE] - My apologies, apparently this subject matter has been covered ad nauseam here. But it still doesn't explain this.

As if he were describing an incurable disease, Mack Brown referred to a "sense of entitlement" on multiple occasions last fall when explaining away the travails of the disastrous 2010 football campaign. What Coach Brown meant by that is debatable as he didn't go into great detail, but I think we can reasonably infer that he felt the players and coaches lacked the urgency and effort necessary to play championship level football because they probably figured they could beat most teams on talent and reputation alone.

But was a sense of entitlement the key reason the Longhorns experienced their first losing season in over a decade? Well I'd probably argue that overall talent level and immaturity at key leadership positions played bigger roles in the demise, but if the players and coaches (as well as fans and media) were and are convinced Texas could and can still win most games simply by showing up, I'd include that as a pivotal factor as well.

Put another way, if we think the Emperor might have pneumonia, refusing to explore the idea that he might not be wearing warm enough clothing can be just as bad as, if not worse than, telling him all he needs to do to get better is surround himself with better doctors.

That said, the idea that a sense of entitlement can have a deleterious effect on a football program is hardly an assertion anyone would waste much time arguing against anyway. And its literary divulgence is far from novel. In fact, our fearless editor PB wrote an excellent (and somewhat prophetic) article in the 2009 edition of The Eyes of Texas Preview Guide in which he elaborated upon his theory as to how the "We're Texas" mindset has been unhelpful to the development of the football program, most notably UT's tardiness to the integration party.

But I'm not here to put a fresh coat of poly on Peter's bean or remind you that the "must have" gift for Longhorn diehards this Christmas-in-July shopping season is the 2011 edition of The Eyes of Texas Football Preview Guide (shameless plug).

No, I'm here to pose the question: Where does this sense of entitlement, this incurable disease, come from?

(Find out if I actually make a salient point after the jump...that explains why they call it "the jump" anyway.) 

Continue reading this post »

Two weeks ago I failed in vain to start a debate about what kind of expectations Longhorns fans should realistically have for Rick Barnes and the Texas Basketball Team to win it all this year or any year for that matter. I wrote the piece because I was frustrated by the prospect of what seemed like another collapse by the Horns down the stretch this season, the overall ephemeral nature of college basketball teams and the haunting suspicion that the Road To The Final Four was actually a Sysaphean pursuit in disguise.

Unfortunately, I received little in the way of assistance in setting my expectations and even worse, the thread following the post devolved into a pissing match between the "U-T Party," who used the post as an excuse to grind their "Fire Rick Barnes" axe, and the "B-Ball Tories," who gave the Barnes haters the finger and me a patronizing pat on the head...

"...when this season wraps up I'll address 54b's post." (Let the record also show that PB also sent me an email asking me why I was scared of awesome.)

And after everyone except J'Co Brown gave up offense for Lent and UT was counted out of the Big Dance, true to his word, a sullen yet defiant PB finally stopped rocking back and forth in a dimly lit opium den long enough to provide a very well written summation of the season and an even more compelling case for not only keeping Barnes, but giving Rick a hug and a trophy for pissing excellence.

As I read the post it finally donned on me that it wasn't really Barnes who was on trial, it was college basketball. And the more skillfully Counselor Bean exonerated Barnes, the more he condemned college basketball in my unwashed eyes.

Continue reading this post »

Just a follow up...thanks to all of you who commented on the DFW Sports Bar post from a few days ago...Ron Brazil (only man to ever find and tag Carmen San Diego...with a GPS tracker) over at Sports Bar Nation aggregated all your responses here. 

Sports Bar Nation is just getting started, but it's well on its way to becoming a popular resource for finding the best sports bar for you, especially when you're traveling and staying in a market you're not that familiar with. 

I know I'm going to start trying to hit the "Longhorns Bar" in every city I visit going forward and this and BON will probably be where I start to figure out which bar that is.

Thanks again,

54b

What's up party people?

Need another favor and no, it's not bail money to get me out of jail for Criminal Jackass. Though, don't close that PayPal account just yet, I'm going to wear saggy pants to the mall later to get tapped into Dez Bryant's posse and my only clean pair of underwear left this morning was the eatable kind. Hope Dez likes cherry.

Anyway, here's the deal, PB's cronies at SBN got it in their heads that Longhorns fans like to go to bars, drink and watch sports. I know, crazy talk, right? So they want to know where you guys go to watch UT games regardless of the city, town, parish, backwater, or hollow you're from.

For example, where in Libya do Longhorns fans gather on Saturdays in the fall?

You're welcome to let us know in the comments below, but do SBN a favor and go to this link as well. Don't worry, the question about whether you drink beer with fruit in it is optional. 

Thanks in advance and don't forget to tip your cow, I'll be hear all week.

54b

Request for those of you who call DFW home or know a good little bit about the area...

The folks at SBN are sending a few reps down to the DFW area to scout the best bars and restaurants for watching sports. 

I'd like to do them a favor by developing a hit list for them and to do so, I'd like to get your input. Specifically, I'd like to know:

• Name of Bar or Restaurant 
• What makes the place great for watching sports? (Lots of TV's with good site lines, number of beers on tap, "known for" food items, hot waitresses, etc.)
• Anything else of interest about the place

With Texas' first round tilt in the 2011 NCAA Basketball Tournament just moments away, I'm having second thoughts. Admittedly, my feelings are mixed and a bit tempered despite being the same guy that said he was "all in" a few months ago as if I were playing poker with my heart and what love and devotion - normally reserved for UT football - I could ante up as collateral.

Due to the late season slump and another fitting for a bridesmaid dress at the Big XII Tourney, I've resigned myself  to the idea that when it comes to Longhorns Basketball, this team is probably as good as it gets and our best may never be good enough to win it all.

Yeah, I know, You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille...so be forewarned that this post is not my usual pep rally and please know that you're not only welcome to, but also encouraged to rip me a new one after the jump. But if I'm going to go dancin' again with the one that brung me, there are some things I just have to get off my chest first...

Continue reading this post »

Email To BON Editors, January 27, 3:02pm, regarding expectations for 2010/11 Texas b-ball...

"I'd rather run around in a lightning storm carrying an open bottle, a lid and a shit eating grin then sit patiently for a ship that may never come in. As far as Longhorns basketball is concerned, this is as good as it gets. It's championship or bust for me."

I was "all in" back in January and I'm sure as hell not folding now. And neither should you, damn it. It's Big Monday and if there's one school in the Big XII that I'd love nothing more than to serve up a huge ass whippin' to, it would be K-State. They have had our number for a while now.

Texas vs. K-State
The Drum
8 p.m. CST
ESPN The Uno

So hop on the fanwagon. Cuz we're rollin' hate-free tonight.

If you feel the need to express your fear of inadequacy via hate-filled rhetoric aimed at the Horns, the BON editors and I wholeheartedly invite you to take your business elsewhere. 

That said, have fun. Be critical. Make jokes. Call me an idiot. Or tell me that it burns when you pee for all I care. Just don't spew a bunch of ignorant hate for a team and its coach that are arguably the most talented that has ever graced the 40 Acres.

Thanks in advance,

54b

PS. Greenspoint, if you promise not to tread on my thread, I'll tell you how to remove the parental controls from your X-Box.

Interesting read though I doubt many of you will learn a reason for the debacle of last season that you hadn't already figured and if you're like me, you certainly won't get any closure from it...just profound disappointment and pause for a program you thought could never be less than a juggernaut.  

I'll go ahead and spoil the prevailing theory for why 2010 was a categoric failure - laziness. You'll read some nice words like, "depression over the loss to Bama" and "we had a sense of entitlement" and "a failure to properly evaluate talent." But the fact is, a lot of very well paid coaches and a lot of very highly regarded players just stopped caring enough to give you their very best. 

That's the bottom line. 

But hey, on the bright side, you know it ain't gonna happen again in 2011. We may not win every game, but you can sure as hell bet we'll be motivated.