SB Nation User Blog: 96operator

Nebraska Volleyball

96operator — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:41:04 -0000

So we're nearing the end of the volleyball season and Nebraska is sitting nicely at number 2 in the nation. The team has been highly impressive in every game this season. John Cook has done a masterful job having his team ready to play and avoiding distractions. If all goes well, Nebraska should bring home another Big 12 and National title.

But there has been one thing bothering me and many others this season.

Who is hotter. Rachel Schwartz or Sidney Anderson?

Poll

Who is hotter Rachel Schwartz or Sidney Anderson?

Rachel Schwartz

20 votes

Sidney Anderson

4 votes

24 votes | Poll has closed

A Comparison of the Big XII, Big-10; whos better; whos best?

96operator — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:33:27 -0000

The topic of the post today sparked my creative juices about the Big XII and Big 10. Now I totally believe the ACC is the weakest of the B.S. Championship confrences. A supposed "super confrence" when it added Virginia Tech, Miami and Boston College from the Big East lasted for about 1 year and now we have what we have.

I'm going to do a side-by-side comparision of the Big XII and the Big 10 and we shall see who reigns supreme!

Everything I cite here comes straight from ESPN.com. If I can't find it there, I'm going to consult old episodes of "Family Guy." I'm going to start in the basements and work my way up.

Baylor(0-8, 3-9) - Minnesota(0-8, 1-11)
The Bears and the Golden Goofers just plain sucked this year. Oh wait, Baylor sucks every year. And that Minnesota coach is a nut job.
Edge-Tie.

Iowa State(2-6, 3-9) - Northwestern(3-5, 6-6)
Even Northwestern had a better season than the Corn. Iowa State...Yeah.
Edge-Big-10.

Nebraska(2-6, 5-7) - Sparty(3-5, 7-6)
Toss up game, of course Sparty almost beat BC in their bowl game. Depends on which Nebraska and Sparty teams shows up.
Edge-Tie.

K-Stank(3-5, 5-7) - Indiana(3-5, 7-6)
The Corn hung 73 on K-Stank. Indiana has Lee Corso in their past as a coach.
Edge-Big XII.

sCUm(4-4, 6-7) - Purdue(3-5, 8-5)
I just plain hate sCUm.
Edge-Big-10.

Okie State(4-4, 7-6) - Iowa(4-4, 6-6)
Neither team stands out, except for the Gundy Rant! Best YouTube clip EVER!
Edge-Big XII.

aTm(4-4, 7-6) - Penn State(4-4, 9-4)
This game actually got played and Penn State won on a last minute drive. Who's the moron who wouldn't run Jorvorskie Lane at a tired Penn State D? When will Joe Paterno die?
Edge-Tie.

Texas Tech(4-4, 9-4) - Wisconsin(5-3, 9-4)
I think Mike Leach would pull something out of his ass on this one.
Edge-Big XII.

TexASS(5-3, 10-3) - Michigan(6-2, 9-4)
I think TexASS would whip Michigan, just because.
Edge-Big XII.

Misery(7-1, 12-2) - Illinois (6-2, 9-4)
Lets face it. The fighting Zookers did not belong in the Rose Bowl, or any other BCS Bowl. Maybe the Alamo Bowl or the Sun Bowl but not the Rose Bowl. Misery belonged in the Rose Bowl.
Edge-Big XII.

KansASS(7-1, 12-1) Oklahomo(6-2, 11-3) - Ohio State (7-1, 11-2)
Since the Big 10 can't have an even number of teams (like the name of the confrence implies) we're gonna have us a good old fashoned three-way here.

KansASS is like that ugly hunchback sister you have that your mom and dad kept in the basement in the dark but every once in a while she would escape and scare the neighborhood children. But she had a really sexy voice and when your buddies would call she would answer and they would be all like "dude, who is that hot chick you had over that answered the phone?" And you would be like "ummmmm thats my sister." and they would say "you've got a sister? Hook a homie up." And when you introduced them to her they took off because she looked like Sloth from Goonies and you never heard from them again so you constantly had to keep making new friends. Thats what KansASS is like.

Did anyone see the 3-foot sandwich Mangino the Hutt had under his coat during the Orange Bowl??? I heard they kicked him out of an all you can eat buffet down in Miami because all the old folks thought he was going to eat them! The reason they wouldn't dump the Gatorade on Mangino the Hutt is because inside that particular cooler was Mangino's after game snack of 20 pounds of bacon.

After the Misery game Mangino the Hutt got lost in Kansas City. He stopped in a convenience store and asked the clerk "how do I get back down to 435?" The clerk replied, "go on a diet."

The Sooners had 3 defensive starters sent home from the Fiesta Bowl. I don't know if that would have made a difference, but West Virginia just played an inspired game.

Ohio State got reaquainted with Bo Pelini last night. The rest of the Big XII is scared to death.
Edge-Big XII.

There, that settles it. The Big XII wins 6-2 with three ties over the Big-10. Personally, I don't want anyone kicked out of the BCS but add all confrences. And eliminate the automatic bowl tie-ins (hello Big-10/PAC-10, are you listening??? There were better matchups for USC in the Rose Bowl other than Illinois, Rose Bowl Committee.)

Poll

Which kicks more ass:

Sloth from Goonies

3 votes

BIG XII

7 votes

BIG-10

2 votes

12 votes | Poll has closed

Need Help!

96operator — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:08:37 -0000

Please help come up with addtional lyrics to the first two verses to an adaptation of a song I shot my creative wad on a few weeks ago.

So without further ado, here it is!

All these Lousy Coaches are getting Fired Tonight.
*Adapted from Hank Williams Jr.’s All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight.

We got an 8-pound playbook, a coach named Callahan.
Lord, it’s hard to be a Cornhusker fan.
We got a line that can’t block, we got an offense that can’t score,
and we got a defense that really isn’t too mean.
I got to get ready, make everything right,
'cause all these lousy coaches are getting fired tonight.

Do you want a drink? Hey do you want to party.
Hey honey this is ol’ 96. Ready to get the thing started.
We cooked the pig in the ground, got some Blue Ribbon on ice
and all these lousy coaches are getting fired tonight.

*To be sung the morning after the CU blowout in Boulder Co. on November 23, 2007.

A Fickell Person?

96operator — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:33:04 -0000

Just kinda looking around the country at prospective new head coaches for the Cornhuskers. One's attention has to turn to Luke Fickell, the linebackers coach and co-defensive coordinator for thee Ohio State Buckeyes.

I like Luke Fickell because he has a defensive background and I firmly believe Nebraska's next head coach should be very defensivly minded.

According to his bio on www.ohiostatebuckeyes.com:

Luke Fickell is in his sixth year on the Ohio State coaching staff. He coaches the Buckeyes linebackers and is co-defensive coordinator. He was named to the latter position in April of 2005. In that role, he is actively involved in game planning and strategy.
Fickell is a Columbus native (DeSales High School) and a 1997 graduate of Ohio State, where he was a four-year starter at nose guard. After a year on the injured reserve list with the New Orleans Saints and a year at Ohio State as a graduate assistant under John Cooper, Fickell officially launched his coaching career at the University of Akron. He spent two years as the Zips' defensive line coach before returning to his alma mater following the 2001 season.
During his first two years at Ohio State, Fickell was in charge of the special teams and assisted with the defensive front. He took over the linebackers prior to the start of the 2004 campaign, while retaining his role with the special teams.

Fickell like Peilini, is young. He is only 34 years old. He has helped guide OSU's quiet climb up to the number one ranking in the nation. They are #4 in Rushing Defense,#1 in Pass Defense,#1 in Total Defense, and #1 in Scoring Defense allowing an amazing 8.9 points per game! Somebody tell me how you score .9 points in a game! Not to mention the OSU Defense has a third down conversion rate agains opposing offenses at 29.7%.
Pelini's LSU defense ranks 3rd in rushing, 4th in passing, 2nd in total defense and 5th in scoring defense.

Don't get me wrong, I still have the man crush on Bo Pelini, but Fickell looks like a solid choice for any Athletic Director looking for a head coach. I think I would be just as happy about having Fickell as head football coach as I would Pelini.

On a personal note his bio says

Luke and his wife, Amy, have four children: Landon (3/2/02) and Luca (12/17/04) and twins who were born in January of 2006.

I know I can't speak for anyone else but I think Fickell is a guy we all can get revved up about!

My Man Crush

96operator — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:53:07 -0000

I have to admit. I have a man crush on Bo Pelini. Just look at him. The guy is a total badass. Bo Pelini is a rugged, plaid-wearing, beef jerky eating badass. The guy is a defensive genius. Look what he did with Nebraska's D. 55th in the Nation to #11. 2nd in the nation in takeaways. Guys were flying all over the field, willing to sacrifice their bodies to make plays.

I mean I don't know who couldn't have a man crush on Pelini. Men want to be him and women want to be with him. He's a total man's man. And he has to be the guy to replace Superbowl Bill Callahan.

Lets compare the two:

Bo Bill
Players love............YES...............NO
him as a coach.

Looks like he's.........NO..............YES
about to cry on
sidelines.

Knows how to............Yes..............NO
develop
talent.

Enjoys music............YES..............NO
by Conga master
Poncho Sanchez

Has the respect......HELL YES............NO
of the millions
in Corn Nation

Would look..............YES..............NO
totally awesome
with a handlebar
moustache

Has 8lb. playbook.......NO..............YES

Insults the.............NEVER...........YES
intelligence of
the fan base

Shows raw................YES.............NO
emotion during
game

Willing to make..........YES.............NO
in game or halftime
adjustments

There it is, the most comprehensive comparison between Bo Pelini and Bill Callahan. Bo wins 8-2. I dare anyone to compare Bo with any other candidate out there using my system. I might be a little biased because I do have a little bit of a man crush on him but how could he not be the next head coach at Nebraska? His default expression is a determined scowl, like he's prepared to introduce you to the business end of his shoe if you look at him wrong. Unlike that self serving jerk Callahan who seems to always have a smug grin on his face. His integrity is genuine on-field and off, similar to the living legend Dr. Tom Osborne.

So if you do nothing else, write, call, email or send Osborne a message by carrier pigeon urging him to contact Bo Pelini and get him here so he can begin the Big Red Resurgence.

GO BIG RED.

Poll

I have a man crush on Bo Pelini.

HELL YEAH!

67 votes

No, I have man crushes on lesser men.

2 votes

I'm a chick and would totally do him.

14 votes

83 votes | Poll has closed