SB Nation User Blog: Aaronstampler

Oh right, Manu Ginobili plays basketball for a living...

Aaronstampler — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:52:39 -0000

by D. Clarke Evans - NBAE/Getty Images

How adorable. You all thought you'd be the fan favorites this season. HA HA HA HA HA. (Photo by D. Clarke Evans/NBAE via Getty Images)

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Hey sheeple, how y'all doin'? Since we all worship at the altar of Manu, I imagine quite well.

I know the fact that I'm posting after a good game from La Enfermadad is as predictable as it tacky, but I swear, my work schedule had a lot to do with it. Also, I'm sure a lot of you expected me to post something about the whole bat thing after the Kings game, and don't get me wrong, it was wicked awesome, but I thought the coverage was so overexposed that I purposefully distanced myself from it.

The guy's one of the 15-best players in the league and a future HOFer, and NOW the PTIs, the Around the Horns, and thousands of sports blogs across the globe will pay attention to him? For going all Neo on a varmint? BAH!

While I thought the incident was cool, everything afterward was the lamest of the lame, so I just observed it from afar, my eyes rolled up all the while.

Anyway, let's talk some hoops after the jump...

Spurs 131, Raptors 124 Record 3-3 3rd in Southwest Division, T-7th in Western Conference

Obviously this was a fun game to watch, and a welcome pick-me-up after probably one of the most miserable weekends of my life (NOYB). I was just shocked - SHOCKED I TELL YOU - that our offense flowed better and had more ball movement and rhythm without Tony. That never happens, and by never I mean most of the 2008 season.

Parker's been a Spur for what, like eight years or something, and still, remarkably, sadly, it seems like there's only two types of passes he can make. He can drive to the bucket and kick it out for a corner three, or he can dump it off for a dunk or lay-up.

He CANNOT run a pick-and-roll, and he CANNOT differentiate between bigs and smalls, hot players and cold players, or guys who are in their sweet spots or not in their sweet spots.

Do I have any proof about any of these allegations? Of course not. I'm just some random dipshit blogger. But I watch the games and while I see Tony improving year after with his shot, his toughness, even some aspects of his leadership, his point guard skills are what they are. The guy's vision is limited, his intincts are average, and his preference is to score first, always.

And really, the less we say about his fast break passing, the better.

Unprovoked and unsolicited Tony Parker bashing aside, what else did we learn from this game besides that Manu Ginobili is still awesome?

Well, we learned that slowly, surely, RJ is starting to get the hang of his role on the team, at least offensively. Do I trust him as a three point shooter yet? No. Do I trust him as a perimeter jump shooter? Hell no. Do I trust him at the free throw line? Fuck and no.

But at least he can throw down some dunks and draw some fouls and he's not a half bad passer, so he's got that going for him.

To me, the real story was how fun the game was to watch as a fan. Admit it, you had a blast. That game was a hoot and a half. As a white guy from Europe, I'm contractually obligated to be a big fan of the Toronto Raptors, the jump-shootingest no-defense-playingest team in the NBA. I even made a dumb bet with my European-hating Indian friend Roh that they would win over 37 games. When you're not really emotionally invested, it's a lot of fun to watch and cheer on teams like the Raptors or the Suns, or even the Warriors back a couple years ago.

It's more fun to watch all offense/no defense teams than the reverse. Anyone who argues otherwise is either a liar or a sadist.

However, as Spurs fans we know better than anyone that this game was fool's gold. It's great to watch and looks neat on the highlights, but teams that play defense the way we're not playing it right now get bounced in the first round. I mean, we're just terrible in our own end right now.

I guess the rebounding was better, but by default it almost had to be. Plus, Toronto is a team of soft weenies, so they don't even count. What was more bothersome was how many open shots we gave up, how we didn't rotate, and how often we left the lane completely vacated. I think I saw a tumbleweed rolling by at one point.

Pop went small the majority of the game to match Toronto, but that's no excuse. The message is not sinking in with RJ that this isn't New Jersey or Milwaukee. At all. Either he thinks that he can get by with a token effort as long as he scores 20 a night for Pop or he flat out isn't capable of playing defense anymore.

Maybe the guy thinks that Pop himself is just giving lip service to defense. After all, if coach willingly puts Bonner and Finley (and Frenchie!) on the floor, how serious could he really be about stopping anybody?

Like I said, very fun to watch, as it always is when Manu completely takes over a game and turns the other nine guys on the floor into puppets, but ultimately, this game might might do us more harm than good.

3 Stars... (with apologies to Rocket and his mad hops)

3. Richard Jefferson - 24-8-7. Yeah, we'd take that every game no questions asked, but I bet he gave up 20 on the other end too.

2. George Hill - My favorite part was when he passed it to Manu.

1. Manu Ginobili - Anytime a guy sets a new single game best in any statistic at 32 years old it's impressive, but four blocks? That's crazy. Now I wanna see five dunks against the Mavs. I'm greedy that way.

Blazers 96, Spurs 84

This might sound weird, but I guarantee you Pop wasn't very upset after this game as there were more positives than negatives.

For one, it was a SEGABABA, so that's always going to be a built in excuse with this old-ass team. For another, we actually played pretty well, on both ends, after a miserable 29-14 opening quarter. The rebounding numbers might look lopsided, but we just plain missed more shots than they did and shot 38%.

16 assists on 30 field goals isn't too shabby, and our offensive rebounding and turnover numbers were pretty respectable as well. The problem was that we just couldn't throw it in the ocean, and having Tony for only 11 minutes didn't help matters.

Besides Parker's injury, three things really did us in:

1. We shot 19% from downtown. We're simply not going to win any SEGABABAs that way. We need to hit threes in these games when we're tired and don't have the juice in the legs to get to the basket.

2. The Blazers shot 27-of-30, 90% from the stripe. Just an unlucky break there.

3. Brandon Roy and Greg Oden went off. Thinking we're going able to stop good athletes because we signed RJ or drafted Blair is a pipe dream. The former can't play defense and the latter is too short. Guys are going to do what they do against us. We're just going to have to do what we do better.

Tony or no Tony, struggling Manu or fully engaged Manu, we're not good enough to come back from 15 down on the road in a SEGABABA to a quality team like Portland.

At least Pop was nice enough to not start Fin anymore, that's a positive step.

3 Stars (this will be hard, I can't think of a single Spur who played well - :: Stampler checks box score :: holy shit)

3. Manu Ginobili - A season high 17 points, and at least he kinda sorta gave a shit.

2. Tim Duncan - He was engaged, if not particularly effective. Later we found out he was doing it on a bum ankle, so kudos.

1. Keith Bogans - A decent enough debut in the starting lineup. A team best +4.

Jazz 113, Spurs 99

Just an abomination of a game. They had 70% of the offensive rebounds that we had in defensive rebounds. That means that for every shot they missed (and at 53% from the floor, there weren't many) the Jazz came away with the second chance opportunity 41% of the time, and almost always cashed it in.

Frankly, I'm puzzled why we didn't collapse our defense in the paint and play better defense and rebound better. They shot seven whole three pointers the whole game and made just one. Clearly the game plan against these guys has to be to make them beat you from outside. I really don't know what Pop was thinking.

Our "effort" to stop Boozer and Williams were abysmal and while Tim and Tony will get most of the blame there, really everyone shares a piece of it. The guys just didn't show up in this one and were not ready for Utah's intensity or competitiveness. A miserable defensive showing, with absolutely no bright spots.

Offensively, the outlook isn't much better. Dice and RJ, the new guys, were terrible. Flat out awful. Bonner and Fin were typically worthless. Tim and Tony weren't ready to compete against guys they should fully respect. Manu looked old, out of rhythm, and slow. Hill sucked and while Blair's statline looked good, he was a sieve on defense.

It's amazing we only lost by 14. It felt like 40. Bad, bad game. The guys don't have any idea what they're doing on defense right now.

3 Stars

3. DeJuan Blair - Better in the second half and especially in garbage time. I'm not sure how much rotation time he'll get as the season goes on if he's gonna be this ineffective defensively. Other teams are definitely targeting him.

2. Tony Parker - Not great, but at least a decent night scoring to keep us at arms length with them. And he made his freebies, so that's something.

1. Roger Mason - Not crappy. He had nothing to do with the loss. That's like gushing praise for this game.

Spurs 113, Kings 94

Not much to say about this one. We beat up a shit team at home and played no defense while doing so. Plus, it was like a month ago, so a recap seems kinda lame at this point.

My favorite thing about the game, and quite possibly my favorite statline of the young season:

Kevin Martin: 29 points, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, -28.

I would totally trade Manu for that guy!

3 Stars

3. Richard Jefferson - Sweet on offense, a willing participant to Martin's Meaningless Stat Extravaganza on defense.

2. Manu Ginobili - He's so dreamy.

1. Tony Parker - I don't think Paul Westphal had any idea who he was.

I Really Should Stop Reverse Jinxing A Team I Supposedly "Root For" and want to "Do Well"

Aaronstampler — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:09:55 -0000

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Game 2: Bulls 92, Spurs 85 T-1st in Division, T-6th in Conference

grumblestupidgoddamnsegababaretardemonkeyschedulemakerIhatethisriggedleaguebunchaoldslowfartsgrumble

(Just random thoughts, don't expect a coherent narrative).

Not upset, nope, nope, nope. I'm too old, too mature, too much of a "professional media person" to get grouchy at something as relatively unimportant as Game 2 of the second most unimportant regular season in professional sports after hockey.

To me this was simply a scheduled loss, nothing more. Too many things were stacked against us.

Old veteran team + Nobody is in shape yet + Too many new guys who don't know how to play together + Young, hungry, energetic opponent + Their home opener = Very predictable loss.

Not really mad at anybody. Manu had no jump after the first quarter, and McDyess and Finley were toast as well.

I would've expected a bit more energy from the younger guys like Bonner and Mason, but it's hardly surprising for them to struggle more on the road than at home.

A bit disappointed with Hill. You think he'd come with a lot more energy and really show his stuff in a game like this.

Ordinarily I'd be livid with Tony (he was awful), but he's not in shape yet either. This is two straight teams we've played where their top priority was to deny his penetration and when the three's aren't going, it looks pretty ugly. The team is going to have to come up with a "Plan C" and I'm thinking that'll be pick-and-rolls with Manu/RJ to Tim/DeJuan.

Bottom line is I'm not so sure we lose this game if it was a SEGABABA in February. Sure, the fatigue would still be an issue, but at least by then the guys will be in shape and used to playing with one another. Right now everyone is feeling each other out and it's awkward, especially when it's not working.

Right now RJ has no idea how to fit into the offense and he's struggling. We don't seem to have any idea how to use him and either the coaches aren't asking what he likes or he's not offering. We've got to start getting him a couple of easy buckets before he starts jacking threes. He's pressing.

For the second straight game the defense stunk in the second half. It was cute in the first game because we had such a big lead and the offense was coming easy, but today it was a let down. Chicago literally could not miss a shot in that 3rd quarter and their guards were getting to the basket way too easily, even against Hill.

Like I said in my season preview, I'm highly skeptical that this team will be the defensive juggernaut that Pop fantasizes about. The personnel just doesn't dictate it. The offense will have to carry them, and I'm confident it will, once the guys get some rhythm and chemistry. They'll need about 15-20 games together for it to click.

One thing I'd like to take back from my Game 1 recap: Now that I had some time to think about it, I don't like Pop's idea to play Manu the last seven minutes of each quarter. The idea should be play at least two of the "Big Four" at all times. Under the current set up, in the beginning of the 2nd and 4th quarters we'll play either just RJ, or none of them at all, and that's just stupid.

I'd take Jefferson out at the 6:00 mark, wait until there was 5:00 or 4:30 left in the first quarter to check Manu in, play him the first three minutes of the second quarter (along with RJ), and then eventually Tim and Tony would check back in and all four of them would play together the final four or five minutes of the half.

Figure it out, Pop.

Speaking of Pop, in SEGABABAS he really has no excuse for not activating Hairston and Mahinmi and benching Finley and either McDyess or Ratliff. Use the youngsters man, that's what they're here for.

Anyway, one piece of good news that doesn't have much to do with the game: I think this Tim Donaghy controversy is going to be excellent for us. Every year people accuse the NBA of being totally rigged in favor of the stars, the Spurs win it all.

In 2002 the league got ripped mercilessly because of the Lakers-Kings series so the next year we got a fair whistle against LA and won it all in 2003.

In 2006 everyone thought the Finals between Dallas and Miami (ugh) was a sham that favored D-Wade, so in 2007 the boring milquetoast Spurs got all the breaks over the more "TV-friendly" teams.

Now after this scandal Stern is going to bend over backwards to make sure the league doesn't favor the Lakers or Cavs and again the innocent, old-school team-first Spurs will benefit.

Not my craziest theorgy, right?

Whatever.

3 Stars:

3. Matt Bonner: Somehow, in this mess, he was +11. We clown on the guy, but he seems to do quite well for himself in +/-, doesn't he?

2. DeJuan Blair: At least, unlike most rooks, he doesn't take shots he can't make. Should've played more.

1. Tim Duncan: So much for that brace limiting him. He was really, really, super neato awesome tonight. Too bad nobody felt like playing with him.

That Was Like Watching A Spurs Game, But More So

Aaronstampler — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:23:26 -0000

Spurs 113, Hornets 96 (Spurs 1-0, 1st in Division, T-1st in Conference)

Well that was just all kinds of awesome. I'm not sure if it's possible to have more fun with clothes on than it will be to watch a Spurs game this season. In fact I won't make any promises whatsoever to be covered up from this point forward.

Could that game have gone any more according to script?

Well, Manu could've dunked on a couple of people. And I suppose Chris Paul could've been caught on camera openly weeping.

Outside of that though, a rousing standing ovation.

I don't have time for a lengthy review (I know, you're all crushed), but here's a quick player-by-player recap from what I observed, bleary-eyed, watching the game at one in the morning last night.

Timmy the Golden God: Amazing how studly of a rebounder he becomes - on both ends - when he doesn't have to worry about posting up and getting pounded on 60 times a night, huh? He's got that David Robinson in 1999 glow about him, doesn't he? He'll be there if you need him, but he could care less about shot attempts and his numbers. You get the feeling he wouldn't mind playing 25 minutes per game and watching the bench kick ass night after night. His post defense against Okafor was in typical Duncan early season form.

La Enfermedad: To paraphrase my all-time number one crush Sarah Silverman, "I love Manu and I don't care if it's not hip, I love him more than black people don't tip."

Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, did I miss seeing Gino out on the floor.

Here's how freakin' good Manu Ginobili is: He probably made more mistakes, offensively and defensively, than any other Spur, and he still had a great night and almost singlehandedly changed the tone of the game the second he entered. The Spurs were down 10-4 after like six minutes, they were 2-of-10 from the floor and had allowed 5-of-10 to the Nooch, and then in the next 40 minutes they outscored them something like 8,418 to 12.

Obviously, it wasn't all Manu's doing, but I'm just sayin'.

The good: Was more aggressive going to the basket than I thought he'd be and had a couple of vintage drives in the fourth quarter, and his passing was as good as ever.

The bad: He probably forced two or three awful shots, he clanked three freebies, and he couldn't keep anyone in front of him on defense except for zombie Peja.

Still, 16 and 4 dimes in his first game back in forever, I'd say that's pretty flippin' sweet.

Spurs fans win at life.

Frenchy McWonderbutt: Very quietly and sneakily the best player on the floor Wednesday night.

I was so impressed with Tony's game, I'm not even sure I can put it into words. It was blatantly obvious the Hornets came in with the game plan to not allow him into the lane in the first half. Parker recognized this immediately, didn't force the issue, and just gave the ball up and let the rhythm of the offense dictate who got the open shots.

Really, it was incredible to watch. On one end Tony was making smart pass after smart pass - sometimes for a direct assist, but more often the hockey-style "assist to the assist," and on the other end Paul was just killing himself, dribbledribbledribbledribbledribbling away looking for an open shot.

Sure, the Spurs defense was forcing Paul to play that way, but you know who he looked like? Tony last year, handcuffed and without options, having to do everything himself. I would almost feel sorry for the guy if he wasn't such a punk.

Parker, meanwhile, was like a Jedi point guard. I'm not sure if I ever watched him play a whole game where he literally didn't force one bad shot. It's going to be fun watching him this year where he actually has talented people around him to pass to.

Of course, chuckleheads on TV will see he's averaging like 18 points this year instead of 22 and say he's having a down year.

The Runaway Groom: Not the best scoring debut, but I liked that after a cold start he understood he didn't have it and didn't try to jack his way back into a respectable box score.

Actually, I was quite impressed with Jefferson's overall game. He was a far better playmaker than I thought he was, pulled down some rebounds and defended fairly well, albeit against the crappy Hornets wings.

Old Man Dice: Played as advertised in the first half, moved well without the ball and cashed in on a couple of his high post jumpers. In the second half he saw that it was a rout and completely checked out mentally, allowing the fraudulent David West to score at will. McDyess is not a guy you want on the floor during blowouts anyway.

Rocket Quixote: Typical game we've grown to expect from Bonner. Thought he moved the ball pretty well and I liked his one pump fake and drive. His release looks even quicker this year. Really, he probably played West better than McDyess did, which is kinda scary.

Findog: Superb shooting night and he also passed well. Good passing is contagious, isn't it? Atrocious defensively as always. Wouldn't mind seeing less of him and more of Hairston, but that's wishful thinking.

PFP: Jesus on a boat was Hill good last night. I've been racking my brain for an hour, trying to figure out if he made a mistake all night. Seriously, this might have been the greatest combined 48 minutes Spurs point guards have ever played. No wonder Pop loves Hill so much. He defends like a demon, he can get to the basket, he shoots well and he readily passes it to Manu. What's not to love? Props to ATS for getting on that bandwagon from jump.

Not a Point Guard: I like the skinner Mason. Am I crazy or did his handle look much improved and he all of a sudden got quicker? Might actually drive to the basket a bit this year. I was pleased to see him score so well for having an off night from distance, which certainly didn't happen very often last year.

BEAST: Yeah Pop, you go ahead and shackle this guy to the bench. He's clearly not ready to contribute. You sit him and watch 19,000 people show up at your front door with pitchforks and torches. At this point I think the team needs Blair more than it needs Pop. Who's with me?

Pop: All joking aside, I'm glad that Pop was able to figure out who his ten best players are, when really I had my doubts he would so early. Of course an argument could be made for Hairston, or at least Bogans, over Findog, but there's a long season ahead for us to bitch, so right now I'll enjoy the win. Also, I like the idea of playing Manu the final last seven minutes of each quarter.

To be honest, I'm just grinning from ear to ear like a doofus. We're gonna do it again this year, I'm sure of it.

Three Stars:

3. George Hill - He's my fourth favorite Spur, but my love is harder to win than Pop's.

2. Tony Parker - You know I'm in a great mood when I'm full on gushing about Tony.

1. DeJuan Blair - Okay, he's already my third favorite. I can't help it. I'm hooked.

PS: The Hornets are awful. I mean, as good as we played, we can't be THAT good. I think that team has three NBA players and nine scrubs right now. Am I wrong? (Then again, I said the same thing about us last year.).

PPS: I admit, as happy as the Spurs made me, the Toronto-Cleveland score was a close second. Shaq is ALREADY a disaster there. -25 last night. MINUS TWENTY-FIVE AGAINST A CENTER NAMED ANDREA!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Here's hoping for a Spurs-Raptors final.

The More The Spurs Change, The More They Stay The Same

Aaronstampler — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:43:21 -0000

Hey there.

How ya doin?

As most of you know, I spend most of my time covering football these days (and boy did my Iggles crap all over themselves at Oakland last Sunday), but seeing as how I couldn't possibly be any more excited about our Spurs starting things up for real on Wednesday against CP3* and the rest of the delightfully inadequate Hornets, I thought I'd venture over to Deadspin's favorite new basketball blog and write up a little preview.

Personally, I don't understand why everyone's making such a big deal about Wayne giving Manu some alfajores, when nobody made a peep about him giving Tony a wicked case of the clap.

Can someone help me out with that?

Anyway, here's your preview, after the jump.

* To me the "CP" in CP3 doesn't stand for "Chris Paul" but seeing as how this is a family blog, decorum prevents me from elaborating.

Speaking of jumping, I hear our Spurs are gonna try employing this radical strategy in certain portions of games this year, so I'm psyched. The team steadfastly refused to leave their feet the past two seasons for reasons unknown to us mere mortals. Maybe they thought it would be unsporting, or perhaps they were skeptical about the Earth's gravitational pull and feared floating away into nothingness.

Either way, the team traded for Richard Jefferson and drafted DeJuan Blair, so there is a chance, however slight, that they'll appear on the highlight shows for something besides nifty bounce passes or last second three pointers from gentlemen who spend the first 47:58 of games doing every foolhardy thing in their power to necessitate last second three pointers.

(I make these jokes now, about the incumbent Spurs being so ground-bound and unathletic, but we all know I'm going to completely lose my shit every time Manu dunks this year, just indulge me).

So what, besides the jumping, stands out about this team?

The depth definitely. There's a little bit of everything. Young guys and vets, bigmen and smalls, speedsters and slowpokes, shooters and bangers, and a couple of completely useless washed-up graybeards, thrown in just for fun.

The whole stew is eerily similar to the '02-03 squad, isn't it?

Yet it's that title team that we have the toughest time in summing up in a nutshell and attaching an identity to.

The '99 team was easily the most defensive and dominant. Really, with a still-useful Robinson and in his athletic prime Duncan, they were an impenetrable juggernaut. They clogged up the inside so well that they managed to go 15-2 in the playoffs with a starting backcourt of Avery Johnson and Mario Elie, and with whodat Jaren Jackson just so happening to have the best month of his life.

While it was gratifying to see the Spurs (and by extension Robinson) finally get their 'chip, there was something cold and mechanical about them. They won every game the exact same way: brutally dominating the paint on both ends and a hail of threes.

It wasn't boring, but it became so one-sided and clinical that it just wasn't as fun as we'd hoped.

The '04-05 club was the most improvisational and dynamic. You just never knew what they were going to do next, but it was always a thrill ride, and when the ball was in Manu's hands it was almost Youtube-worthy.

With this team it was always about the subtle things, the stuff the casual fans didn't notice. Like the way the team responded when Nazr Mohammed was acquired for Malik Rose, or those few minutes every night when we got the unfiltered awesomeness of The Pale Triangle with The Sickness, Bones, and The Bean Burrito.

Most people thought the late-season ankle injury to Duncan would doom the team, but instead it brought everyone closer and provided Tony and Manu with the chance to make an evolutionary leap in their development. Tim was never 100% the rest of the way those playoffs, but he didn't have to be. In fact, it was more fun that he wasn't. It would've been too easy otherwise.

What I really loved about the '04-05 team was the way they could clone themselves into playing the way their opponents played those playoffs, only better. They out-intimidated the Thuggets, out-chemistried the Sonics, outscored the Suns, and outslugged the Pistons. Big and bad Detroit, the defending champs, had them down nine points in the third quarter of Game 7, and still this team wouldn't fold.

The '06-07 edition played with the most edge and were the most defiant. They weren't the most talented bunch, but they had a core of old school veterans who absolutely would kill you to win. They didn't care about style points, or critics, or anything really. They were just a collection of pissed off guys, incensed about how the '05-06 season ended and livid that a fraud one-man team like the Heat won that year.

That Spurs team deserved to have their vengeance against the Mavs, but Dallas didn't live up to their end of the bargain. Instead they had to deal with the soft, whiny Suns and that stupid controversy with Horry's hipcheck to Steve Nash. The more that people cried foul, the grittier the veterans played. It's hardly surprising that they ended the playoffs on a 10-1 run, with The Big Three so concerned about LeBrick t hat they practically celebrated their championship during the waning moments of Game 5 against Utah.

Again though, we come back to 02'-03. What was that team's identity? Sure, we all remember Robinson riding off into the sunset with his second ring, and Duncan being at the peak of his powers, but for a team that featured four future Hall-of-Famers, weren't they somewhat underwhelming?

I mean think about it. Outside of Game 6 at LA, when they toppled the Shaq-Kobe dynasty (which was spectacularly referee-aided, mind you) do any of us remember a playoff game that team dominated from beginning to end?

Or do we remember the chokes, the near-chokes, and the miracles?

We blew Game 1 in the first round to the Suns on a last second Starbury prayer (although losing the first playoff game is a great omen, we would discover in later years).

We came from ahead to lose Game 4 at LA, and nearly upchucked a 25-point lead against them - at home - in Game 5; a game we only escaped when dear friend RoHo clanked a wide open three at the buzzer.

We gave away Game 1 of the Conference Finals to the Mavs when Dallas shot something like 61-for-62 on free throws that game and needed Steve Kerr to get unconscious to pull out Game 6.

Kerr would have another hot game to pull out Game 5 of the Finals and Speedy Claxton had to bail Tony's butt in Games 5 and 6.

Even for all of Tim's dominance in that clincher, with that 21-20-10-8 stat line, we still had to come back from double digits down in the final six minutes to beat the frickin' Nets.

That team, as loaded as it was on paper, never quite meshed together correctly and was never as good as the sum of its parts. Robinson, Ferry, Smith, Kerr and Willis were all too old. Manu and Tony were too young. Batshit crazy Stephen Jackson was batshit crazy Stephen Jackson. Really the only guys who were in their primes were Duncan and Rose.

Still, on paper they were damn good, and no matter how messy they made it look, they did win it all at the end, and that's what it's all about, right? Even if they only managed to put it all together for a quarter here and six minutes there, they had those moments of brilliance that was enough to carry them through.

While I thoroughly enjoyed Simmons' NBA preview (take a guess why), I think he's being a bit of a pollyanna in predicting us to run roughshod over the league from beginning to end. When we first assembled the roster that we have, I recall that I made similar boasts, but I've now calmed down and have tempered my expectations a bit.

Oh sure, I still think we're going to win the whole thing, but Pop will take it too easy with Tim and Manu for the first half of the season, and he'll experiment with so many different lineups that we're going to lose a few winable games here and there. It's going to take the team a while to find its chemistry, and it might never fully happen the way Pop constantly shuffles roles and rotations.

The good news is we don't need everyone to be clicking on all cylinders. That '02-03 team didn't and neither will this one. We simply need good health at the right time, that's it. This team is so deep that come the postseason they will find a different hero every night, just like those Spurs did.

It's the journey, not the destination, and while the road won't be very smooth for us, I think we're all going to be in for one hell of an interesting ride.

As for direct comparisons, try these on for size...

You have your jump shooting, defense-first center on his last legs.

Your undersized rebounder that thinks he's a bit better than he actually is.

The three point specialist who most definitely is NOT a point guard.

The has-been swingman who needs to be chained to the bench for his own good.

The grandfatherly backup center you don't want to mess with.

The athletic swingman whom you don't trust under any circumstances.

Your tall white stiff who does nothing but shoot threes and amuse the media.

The backup point guard I will like more than Tony Parker because he'll actually pass it to Manu.

The token "defensive specialist" that Pop will overuse.

The foreign project bigman who will never play.

The young wing who will never play.

The parts of Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili will still be played by Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili though, and that's mostly a good thing, because at the end of the day we're still gonna need them to carry the freight.

Five quickie predictions:

5) Forget all the "back to defense" mumbo jumbo from Pop. This will be an offensive team. Outside of Bogans their entire roster plays better on offense than defense. They won't be the '04-05 Suns, but they should routinely crack the 100-point barrier.

4) Unlike past shooters, Richard Jefferson will not struggle or be gun-shy in his first season on the Spurs. He's never been more open in his life than he will be this season, and unlike Finley and Barry, he's coming aboard close to his prime.

3) Michael Finley, Roger Mason and Matt Bonner will all play more minutes than we want them to, while DeJuan Blair, Malik Hairston and Ian Mahinmi will play less. This, more than anything, is the main reason I'm glad I won't be writing about the Spurs regularly. There is no way I wouldn't be banned if I did.

2) Manu Ginobili will finish only fourth on the team in scoring, but he'll set a career high in assists. I'm thinking about 12.3 points per game, with 4.9 dimes. He's never had this many guys on the second unit to pass to before. He'll pick-and-roll second units to death.

I think Ginobili is going to thrive in his role as what chef Anthony Bourdain would call a "System D" or a Debrouillard. If he was a TV star he'd be MacGyver. If he was British, he'd be Bond. James Bond. If he was an Autobot, he'd be Jazz. He'll be the jack-of-all-trades that will do whatever needs to be done on any given night and only look for his own offense if the team needs it late. Should be a fun year for him.

1. And that last prediction goes hand-in-hand with this one. The Spurs will hang with the good teams with their starting unit, either leading or trailing by four points in every "shift." But when the teams turn to their respective benches for those last two minutes of 1st/3rd quarters and the first four minutes of 2nd/4th quarters however, the Spurs will blow games wide open with their second unit, by far the deepest in the league. We're just going to come after teams in waves.

We won't have the Lakers dynasty to overthrow this time, but instead something even more obnoxious and insidious. The past two years the star power and media appeal of the Lakers-Celtics-Cavs triumvirate has overtaken the NBA. It's like there are no other teams out there in ESPN land besides these three and they monopolize all the coverage and attention.

For the good of the league our humble Spurs will have to restore balance and order. I will not be held hostage to another season of Kobe-LeBron puppet commercials.

We are the team of the decade dammit and last I checked the decade isn't over. There's no way in hell that we can stand for Kobe or Shaq getting a fifth ring before Duncan does, let alone LeBron getting one period.

And we certainly can't let the Celtics, a team that with the pairing of KG and 'Sheed will shatter the "The Most Times Cameras Accidentally Showed Athletes On One Team Yelling 'Motherfucker' in One Season" record by early January, win it either. I mean, think of the children people. The children!

I can't wait 'til June when every hack will be moaning about how boring the Spurs are while RJ alley-oops another no-look pass from Ginobili, Parker whirls his way through three people before dishing it to Dice, and Blair slams home a loose ball after a Hill steal.

We're not finished just yet.

I Suppose It Could've Been A Spur...

Aaronstampler — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:23:21 -0000

Hey there peeps. I hardly have enough time to poop anymore, but I thought I'd check in and see how everyone is doing. I see that Tony is upset with the team - sacre bleu! - because they had the nerve to question the severity of his ankle injury.

Maybe the front office is being overly cautious, sensitive as they are to have that luxury tax investment they put into the Jefferson and McDyess signings, and worrying too soon about it the risk. Maybe it's unfair to compare Tony's situation to Manu's. Maybe the front office wasn't worried about the diagnosis at all and just used it as smoke screen to prevent Tony from playing where they otherwise contractually couldn't.

Obviously I would sound like a pretty big hypocrite here if I wrote that I don't want Tony to play after wholeheartedly supporting Manu's decision last year. After all, I compared an athlete being called to play for his country to getting drafted for the military and declining the honor to draft-dodging.

That being said, I don't want Tony to play.

However, I don't think I'm being two-faced about this. The two situations aren't the same. Manu was competing in the Olympics - the ultimate international tournament - he was the captain of a country expected to medal, the leader of the defending Olympic champions, and he was even chosen as the flag bearer of his country in the opening ceremonies.

Tony on the other hand is being asked to participate in some two bit qualifying tournament consisting of a bunch of second-tier European countries and the field is so thin that France is expected to do well enough even without him. If you remember, Manu skipped the qualifying tournament the summer before last and only participated in the actual Olympics (though he was in the World Championships two years before that).

If France qualifies for the Olympics (and again, they probably would, even without Tony), I would fully endorse Parker playing in the tournament, even though France sucks, they have no hope of medaling and they probably wouldn't even beat Turkey if both Turkoglu and Okur are playing.

For other Stampler opinions, clickity click on the jump, as I've got more "talking" to do.

So apparently I'm an adult now, at 31, and I have to say, it kinda sucks.

I have to get up 6:45 every morning to make it to 49ers training camp in time for the 8:30 practice. Needless to say I'm used to getting up well past 8:30, let alone 6:45, so that's a bit bothersome.

Then there's the hour commute each way. That isn't fun, and I'll spare you the bitching about gas prices. The truth of the matter is that I just plain don't enjoy driving very much. It's not something I find very relaxing and I'm definitely not skillful at it. Recently I got a letter from The State of California informing me that it is the official opinion of the California Department of Vehicles that I am "one of the worst" drivers in the state and that I am a danger to other motorists and to myself basically every time I turn the ignition.

The state has warned me to pay far more attention to traffic rules than I have been these past few years and they have strongly suggested that I quit driving altogether. I wish I was kidding. They've basically warned me that if I get one more moving violation I will lose my license for a year.

I wish that I had the DUI excuse to fall back on like most drivers I know under probation, but sadly I don't. I just really, really suck at driving.

No wonder I'm a Spurs fan, am I right? Hey-O!

Anyway, assuming I've made it to the 49ers' complex by 8:30 and without police intervention (5-for-5 so far, knock on wood), I get to start my job, which goes roughly something like this...

8:30-10:30 Watch morning practice. Try to make sense of what's going on out there. Pester the PR guy about injury updates. Formulate sweeping generalizations that will seem stupid three hours from now. Send my editor 10 to 15 emails (20 to 25 words each) about what's happening, most of which is speculation on my part (example - that Frank Gore really looks a lot quicker today!).

10:15 One of the assistant PR guys will ask me who I want to talk to, meaning that they will actually try to pry tired and sweaty professional football players away from their shower or lunch to answer a bunch of my inane, cliche questions (example - "How do you think practice went today?"). I quickly have to come up with a couple of names so that the guys don't think I haven't put any thought into this and that I have no idea what I'm doing. Luckily, everyone I've named so far is an actual 49ers player and not some actor on Trueblood.

(In both cases, plenty of sucking would be involved. Hey-O!)

10:30-10:50 Podium interviews with coaches and maybe the quarterbacks. Every once in a while I manage to sneak in a question among the deluge of professional sportswriters questions. Thus far no one has given me a funny look, so I think I'm doing okay there.

10:50 to 11:10 My 1-on-1 interviews with the players I requested. So far, in three separate attempts I have yet to be given a non-predictable answer to any of my 13 or 14 completely predictable questions. Every guy says he's equally comfortable playing multiple positions. Every guy hasn't been told by the coach what their role is going to be (complete bullshit). Every guy is happy to do whatever they're asked.

11:10 to 11:30 Email my editor 10 to 15 updates based on these interviews ("Coach Singletary said, "The team is really coming along!")

11:30-12:30 Write my daily camp blog for Bleacher Journal where I share my astute observations with devoted 49ers fans across the world (Today's observation: Frank Gore is still good.)

12:30-12:45 Lunch. And it's free! On today's menu, burgers, baked beans and watermelon.

12:45-4:20 Soul-crushing boredom. Basically sitting in the media trailer, staring at my computer, reading about the Eagles (a team I care about but am not being paid to cover versus... well you can figure where I'm going with this), reading Deadspin, Kissing Suzy Kolber, whatever.

While I was done with my "job" at 12:30 - 11:30 technically since they don't pay me to write the blog - I notice that the professional beat guys all around me are busily typing away the whole four hours and I have no idea why. I check their stuff. They have roughly the same material that I do. If they're noticing a lot more stuff than I am they're certainly not sharing it with their readers. Are they saving reams and reams of info for future columns? It's a mystery I'm very curious to solve.

4:20-6:00 Afternoon practice. 90% of my work is done. My editor is sick and tired of me by this point and literally wants no more updates unless someone drops dead on the field. I spend the whole time desperately, pathetically trying to charm my way into the writers' clique.

Here's what I've discovered about sportswriters in my two years as one: Take how jaded and snarky you imagine them being about their jobs, about the athletes and coaches they cover, and about each other, and multiply it by a hundred to have some sense of reality. These guys are merciless to each other (but in a "buddy" way) and to the world around them. There is nothing that can't be turned into a sarcastic quip, a clever turn-of-phrase, or a degrading nickname.

I've already heard a dozen great stories and I can't share any of them.

I've probably missed three hundred others because everyone's a Seinfeld-ish "low-talker" - probably on purpose. These guys have their own language, and I'm trying desperately to decipher it. It might be my imagination but I keep thinking they turn their heads or whisper extra quietly whenever I approach. I'm definitely not in the club yet, but I'm trying.

The most amazing thing is that while these guys seem to be cracking jokes and not even paying attention to the field the whole time, they all seem to notice way more than I do. They all have great reports with the players and can engage them in fifteen minute conversations. They all have memories like steel traps when it comes to the team. Their inside jokes have inside jokes.

It's all very intimidating, but so far no one has told me to stop talking to them, so that's something right?

In other, more depressing news, my Iggles are already royally fucked. Stewart Bradley, their starting middle linebacker, tore his ACL last night and will be out for the season. Bradley slipped on the wet turf during the team's Flight Night! event, a fan promotion they threw at Lincoln Financial Field, they're home stadium so they could get 32,000 screaming no-lifers to watch them practice.

Normally the team holds it camp at Lehigh University, but because of this dumb idea they exposed the players to a wet field that the groundskeepers didn't have time to properly drain and presto, they've lost their third most valuable player. Sure, they did sign receiver Jeremy Maclin, their first round draft pick to a contract today, but with all due respect I'd rather have him hold out the whole year and have a healthy Bradley.

I suppose it could be worse. The Spurs could lose their third most valuable player for the year with an injury, a guy whose name I won't mention, but I think we all know whom I'm talking about.*

Anyway, that's a lot of football news for a basketball blog, and I apologize once again for wasting all your time. For your patience, here's a video...

Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version (via DustoMcNeato)

* I'm referring to Tony Parker of course. Anyone who thinks Tony's better than Manu is a total douchenozzle.

Let's Try This Again...

Aaronstampler — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 06:15:51 -0000

Happy 32nd Birthday to Manu Ginobili, my favorite basketball player of all time and the Flying Spaghetti Monster's Personal Jesus.

Unless he wants to be a wise guy and move it back another month, that is. I wouldn't put it past him, since he is, you know, a wizard.

I can only commemorate the occasion with a Manu Youtube mix. I think this one might be the best (and longest) out there. Props to Santi for all his good work.

Manu Ginobili - La Historia de un Campeón ((By Santi)) (via videosdelbasquet)

In other news, it is the eve of my first day on the job covering the 49ers for CBSSports.com, so I wrote an article about their no-name camp bodies since I had to memorize every guy's name and number on the team.

Also, because I'm in a good mood, here's another Youtube clip which brought a smile to my face. I can only dream of being in a wedding this happy some day. Chris Brown needs to send this couple one seriously kick ass wedding present because they've made his song blow up.

JK Wedding Entrance Dance (via TheKheinz)

Theo Ratliff a Spur?

Aaronstampler — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:56:39 -0000

According to Spurstalk. Nobody here had this? Apparently RJ blabbed it to someone...

I Jinxed The Spurs Already

Aaronstampler — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:32:24 -0000

First Blair misses yesterday's summer league for mysterious reasons (contract? knees?) and now this...

I knew I was right to have doubts about RJ. The guy's a flake.

Catching up with Stampler...

Aaronstampler — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:48:01 -0000

Hello everyone. How y'all doin? I am, like I imagine most of you, FLIPPIN' ECSTATIC about how the summer is going. Easily the most exciting off-season for us since 2002, and the reason for that is fairly obvious, no? It's really weird, actually, being me these days.

In the last three months 1) my favorite football team, the Eagles, had what was widely acknowledged as the most kickass off-season by any NFL team in a long, long time with just a sensational draft and a litany of shrewd trades and free agent signings where they filled pretty much every hole on the roster and they now have like ridiculous depth and explosive talent at every position; 2) I got a job I was shooting for and obsessing over forever (more on that below); 3) I met this jaw-droppingly beautiful girl whom I'm unfortunately sort of related to and have no shot whatsoever with but who cares she's jaw-droppingly beautiful, and 4) my favorite basketball team had what is widely acknowledged as the most kickass off-season in the NBA, shrewdly trading for a top-8 starting SF in Richard Jefferson, signing Antonio McDyess in free agency to finally give Timmy some help inside and finding DeJuan Blair, a PF out of Pitt who led college basketball in rebounds per 40 mins, offensive rebounds per 40 mins and PER waiting for them with the 37th pick in the draft. It's almost unfair how a team that already boasts three of the top 25 players in the NBA can improve itself so much in basically a month's time.

I feel like the Flying Spaghetti Monster is setting me up for an epic letdown, a bowl of pasta to the face if you will. Things are going too well, too according to script. I'm trying very hard to brace myself for what feels like an inevitable collapse. Like, what if Manu breaks his ankle while committing a dumb foul in Game 7 vs. the Lakers? What if Brian Westbrook's knee comes flying off during the first game of the season or Donovan McNabb throws eight picks in the NFC title game against the Saints or whoever? What if I turn out to be awful at my job or hate it? What if this girl goes back to Turkey and finds love and happiness and I never see her again?

What then, mis amigos?

If Regis asked me to state this person's gender for a million dollars, I admit, I'd be somewhat nervous.

Fortunately for you, of the four things above the jump, I have the most faith in the Spurs, based entirely on previous track record. Obviously, I don't want to set expectations too high and come off like some lame clueless homer fanboy, so I'm not going to predict a 98-0 record or anything, but I think like 84-19 is entirely possible, if the gang stays healthy.

In fact, I dare say more than any other opponent, health will be our biggest obstacle to winning that fifth ring in '09-10. Here, in order, are our real obstacles:

1) Health

2) Pop

3) ESPN

4) Eva Longoria

5) Lakers

That's the thing about basketball. It's easily the most predictable of the major sports. Every season when I go into it knowing that the Spurs are the best team, they win. Every season where I'm hoping they're the best team, they don't. It's really that simple. All season in 2003, I knew. That team was just loaded in terms of depth, even if they never quite put it all together. In 2005, I knew. Adding Brent Barry to the big three in their primes? Good night, Aunt Sally. The Mohammad trade was just the little deadline trade that cinched it. And that 2007 team was motivated as hell to prove the Mavericks series was a fluke. They just refused to lose in the playoffs, even if they won some games ugly.

In 2004 the Spurs looked quite brilliant at times, but with the retirement of Robinson, no Claxton to serve as Parker spaz insurance and a young Turkoglu replacing Stephen Jackson, I had my doubts that they'd be able to hold off a Lakers team that added Karl Malone and Gary Payton, even if both of them were ancient. Plus, and I keep telling this to whoever talks about it, the 0.4 thing with Derek Fisher is the most overrated controversy for Spurs fans. Even if we got by LA, that Pistons team would've murdered us that year. They were deeper, hungrier, and they would've slaughtered us inside. The '04 Spurs were pretty soft. The Pistons didn't become a jump shooting team who were allergic to the paint until after they got their rings and were fat and happy with their success.

In 2006 the Spurs never looked quite right either. Finley and Van Exel were struggling mightily to fit in, Horry was content to nap through another regular season, seemingly confident that he would just magically be able to flip the switch again in May, Manu was in and out of the lineup with injuries and never looked quite right, Tim was battling plantar fasciitis all season, Pop flirted way too much with small ball and made the disastrous decision to bench Beno in favor of Van Excrement, and the Mavericks, led by ball bustin' Avery Johnson, finally learned to play a little defense.

While I still believe, and will always believe, to my dying day, that we were the better team, we weren't that much better. Pop's bungling of the series, combined with the atrocious refereeing in Games 3 and 4 (the most underrated controversy for Spurs fans that no one besides me every talks about) conspired to level the competition between the two teams.

We could've, and should've, beaten Dallas, but it wouldn't have necessarily proven anything. It would've been a little anti-climactic to spank the Suns without Amare Stoudemire afterward and then what? Sweeping Miami in the Finals?

Not so much.

We wouldn't have even faced Miami. We'd have to deal with the Pistons again, with them having having home court this time, and boy would they have been hungry to avenge 2005. Spurs fans forget that the '06 Pistons played with a chip on their shoulder the whole year, hellbent on one goal and one goal only: Beating the Spurs in the Finals. They slaughtered us in the two regular season games that year, winning each comfortably by 15 points. They would've been merciless inside and crushed us on the boards.

No one will ever, ever convince me that the Pistons' balloon didn't get deflated that year when the Spurs got eliminated by Dallas. It was as if their whole reason for being just vanished before their eyes. The Mavs stole Detroit's revenge. The Pistons were so shaken by the Spurs going down 3-1 to Dallas that they lost three straight second round games themselves, to a then mediocre Cavs team, before rallying to win that series. In the Conference Finals Miami punched them in the mouth early and the Pistons just didn't have the motivation in them to punch back. It was like a boxer training all year to fight Ali and then come the night of the fight Buster Douglas shows up instead. Their hearts just weren't in it.

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather see the Spurs lose in Round 2 than the Finals. I've seen my favorite baseball, football and hockey teams lose in the Finals, and that just all kinds of sucks.

As for the past two seasons, well you all know how those went. We were all hoping we weren't too old, too slow, too brittle, too unathletic, but in the end it was pretty obvious that our fears were well placed.

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but on July 13th, 2009, I'm going on the record: I fully EXPECT the Spurs to win the championship. I'm not hoping we're the best team, I know we are. If our guys are healthy I expect the playoffs to be a mere formality. The rest of you can call me a jinx or an ass, or you can join me on the bandwagon. It's your choice.

So, with that bit of business out of the way, what else is going on in Stampler's world? Here's kind of a Peter King Monday Morning Quarterbackesque Top Ten Things I Think I Think:

1. I think it will be difficult for me to write much, if at all, on PtR for at least the first half of the year and perhaps a lot longer than that. I got this job for CBSSportsline.com, where through Bleacherreport.com they held a contest for 32 people to work as "correspondents" (basically beat guys) on the 32 NFL teams. They asked everyone to turn in an application, and then write some sample articles like a team preview, a profile on the coach, the top five reasons you think the team will be better or worse, and who on the team you would like to interview and which questions you would ask. Since I live in the Bay Area, I'll be covering the 49ers.

What this job entails is basically I will be paid to give 25 to 30 Twitter-like updates per day on everything I see and hear about the Niners. I will have to go to every practice and every presser from the start of training camp on, which starts in two weeks. I'll get paid decent scratch (for once, cough, Wayne, cough) to do this, which is nice. My boss, based in Florida, tells me that if I do a really good job, I might get hired full time so that I could turn this into a year round gig and cover the Warriors and maybe even the San Francisco Giants. We'll see.

What I'm fairly sure of, and will make absolutely certain of soon, is that as long as I have this job, I will be prohibited from writing for other sports websites, which PtR and its parent company SB Nation obviously includes. If my bosses tell me I can't do it, then I won't. I gotta get this "career" thing rolling sooner or later, unfortunately. Besides, it looks like Wayne is taking this blog to all sorts of new heights, so I doubt I'll be too missed. Living in the area, he's got all sorts of access I'll never get. Commenting as an outsider thousands of miles away, I can only do so much anyway, and I think I've kinda done all I can with the whole game recap thing. You can only write so many Tony Parker jokes.

The timing of it sucks for sure. I'm really, really looking forward to this season and would've liked to had the time and the forum to write about it, but I'll be lucky just to be able to find the hours to watch the games, let alone chronicle them. But we'll see what January brings.

2. I'm trying to talk myself into Antonio McDyess, just like I talked myself into Richard Jefferson. While I thought that Rasheed Wallace, and even Chris Andersen, would've been a better fit, McDyess offers a lot of positives. His PER of 16.63 in '08-09 was far superior to his previous season and easily bested 'Sheed's 14.91. He also rebounded far better, shot better from the field and even had a better assist rate. Neither was particularly durable (Wallace played 66 games, McDyess 62). And personality wise, McDyess would seem to be a better fit, as he has none. By all accounts the guy is a pro's pro and with him we don't have to worry about a bunch of technicals or indifferent play or blowups with the coach.

Unfortunately, there are some concerns with McDyess. He's got a long and well-chronicled injury history and he's going to be 35 going into the season. He's not the post defender or shot blocker that Wallace is. Most of all he won't give us the three point shooting that Pop likes from his power forwards (which means Rocket might still be a part of the rotation next year).

And then there are things like this, which really make you think. Why, despite all his tantrums, his non-stop petulance and all his three point chuckery, did seemingly all the Pistons play better with Wallace while with McDyess the steady professional they all played worse? Why were they +82 with Rasheed and -68 with Antonio? Why did the Pistons give up three points less with Wallace on the floor per 48 minutes and five points more with McDyess? All in all, I kind of wish I hadn't perused 82games.com when reading up about our newest acquisition.

At least it's an upgrade from Kurt Thomas, right?

3. I am very geeked about DeJuan Blair. I don't think I can state this strongly enough. I want to be his biggest booster, the way ATS is with Hill, except that I have no desire to feel his bulging muscles in a creepy postgame interview. We've needed a guy like Blair for a long, long time, and I'm hopeful that not only can Blair be our version of Bass, Landry or Millsap, but perhaps even better than them. The guy is a rebounding machine. My only worry with him is that his defensive shortcomings will give Pop an excuse to bury the rookie on the bench. I think rookies get in Pop's doghouse if they yell too loud while dunking, so not running back on defense is like a criminal offense.

4. Mahinmi needs to get his ass in gear. I don't give a shit that he hasn't played in a year and is rusty and Pop doesn't give two shits. No excuses Frenchy. Get out there, block some shots, grab an occasional rebound (if Blair lets you), and learn to do something on defense besides foul. No one cares how pretty your free throw stroke is. You're a Spur. Unless you're from Argentina and dreamy you're not supposed to be any good at freebies anyway. You are pretty much our best hope of not having Bonner be the third "big" in the rotation. For the love of all that is holy play with some urgency. For God sakes, your career is on the line. Don't you care at all?

/grabs Ian by the shoulders and shakes him.

5. Hopefully Malik Hairston's new found jumper wasn't a fluke. I can dream, can't I? Between Hairston and James Gist, I want someone, anyone to emerge as the backup small forward. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I want Michael Finley to be envious of the playing time Steve Smith got in the '02-03 season. Is that asking for too much?

6. Two words on the Marcus Haislip signing: Camp. Body. C'mon Marcus prove me wrong. I dare you. I think Jack McClinton has more of a chance to make the team than you do, and he sucked in his first game. I have no love for 6'11 guys who don't rebound.

7. I think Manu needs to be the sixth man again next year. There aren't going to be enough shots to go around with Tony, Tim, Tony, RJ, Tony, McDyess, and Tony. Let Mason start and let Manu come off the bench and play around with the youngsters. He and Hill can take turns every time down the floor being the "point guard" and running the pick-and-roll with Mahinmi/Blair or kicking it out to Bonner/Finley for open jumpers. Besides, Pop will be on red alert to keep Manu's minutes down anyway, so no sense in starting him.

8. I don't think any contenders in the NBA improved except for us. The Lakers doomed themselves with Artest, who stopped being an asset the second he started fancying himself as an offensive player. Oh and he's a lunatic. Losing Ariza and probably Odom and gaining Artest is, to me, like losing three guys. The Magic lost Hedo, plus Courtney Lee, just to gain Vinsanity, so they'll be worse. The Celtics won the 'Sheed sweepstakes, but lost Powe and will likely lose Big Baby Davis as well. Unless I missed something, they have no viable backups at point guard, shooting guard, small forward or center and are capped out. Oh, and their coach openly hates the starting point guard, which must be awkward.

Then there's Cleveland, who had the bright idea of improving their post defense by signing a 37-year old guy who weighs 350 lbs. and has not defended a pick-and-roll since roughly 2001. Somebody on Manu's website asked how Shaq will impact the Cavs and Manu responded that he'll make them "heavier."

¿Cómo ves a los Cavs este año con Shaq?
Con más peso! ;-)

It's in Spanish, but I hope the translation is literal. How can anyone not love Manu Ginobili?

9. I really don't understand the Marion acquisition for the Mavs. Now they have three forwards, and I don't think any of them will want to be a backup. Are they going to make Dirk a center? Move The Big Bug over to the two guard (giving the Mavs two wingmen who can't dribble)? Or is this a precursor to them trading Howard? Whatever is going on over there, I'm glad that Orlando matched Marcin Gortat's offer sheet because I like that guy and didn't want Dallas to have him.

10. I think I won't be going to Mexico again anytime soon. Me and my family went to Club Med in Cancun to celebrate my mom's 50th and my uncle's 40th birthdays last week. In Cancun I...

a) ate like a pig at the buffet twice a day for a week (lotsa veggies though).

b) visited some Mayan ruins in Tulum where it was crazy hot.

c) got awful, awful sunburn on my shoulders and triceps (on my last day I had to peel my body off my bed).

d) bought a Mayan-themed chess set.

e) learned to play backgammon, again.

f) went to a club where the hottest girl was I think maybe 14 years old (it was a family Club Med).

g) discovered again that the French accent is alluring in women and annoying as all hell in men.

h) learned I have no aptitude at all for water skiing.

i) got killed by Manoli in tennis 6-2, 6-4.

j) accidentally injured Manoli and my uncle in a touch football game (the former ran into a soccer goal post trying to catch one of my passes, the latter went reeling sideways onto a flower bed after I pushed him too hard).

k) got to go snorkeling in a cave and banged my ankle on a stalactite and almost got decapitated by a stalagmite.

l) bought an Eagles poncho.

m) discovered the world's most perfect swimming water in some lagoon, where there was no salt, no chlorine and it was just the right temperature - cold but not freezing. It was like the kind of water they use in cologne commercials where some guy with an incredible body emerges from it with his arms spread in triumph.

n) made my sunburn worse at a water park where it was approximately 149 degrees. My favorite ride was standing under this mushroom where it's just a shower of cold water pouring on you. It was the only time I wasn't in agony. My least favorite ride was this thing called the "Sea Bowl" where you basically experience the sensation of being flushed down a toilet to land ass over tea kettle in a nine foot pool.

o) ruined my cell phone by first forgetting it in my pocket at the water park and then by trying to fix it by sticking it inside the toaster at the buffet. Previously when I had gotten it wet Amanda had fixed it for me by drying it in her toaster oven. Little did I realize that toasters are much hotter than toaster ovens. I basically melted the phone.

p) also, Amanda had the sense to, you know, remove the data chip first before putting the phone in the oven. I did not.

So, the same idiot who first drowned, then melted his phone is the guy telling you that he's confident the Spurs will win it all next year, so you've got that going for you. Enjoy the rest of the off-season everybody!

I'm a dummy.

Aaronstampler — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:45:14 -0000

Nothing to see here, move along.