So I'm gonna throw this out there: 

Once again, Brian Campbell is going to have his Celebrity Poker charity event this coming January the 18th at the Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana.  I went last year, and had a friggin' blast.  I realize that the pricing is a bit steep, but save those couch pennies.  You know you want to be the guy that knocks John Scott out so you can put his sweater on and have it go to your feet like you were a 2-year old.  I'm guessing the dude could single-handedly (and single-malt) drink us all under the table...

I think it would be cool as shit if a bunch of us could gather there and enjoy the good booze, decent food, and cool assed company of our favorite Blackhawks. If any of you are interested, or even thinking about going, post up on this fan-thingy and maybe we can get the ball rollin' again. 

See you there???

A lot of you probably figured this was coming. I knew when (if) the Hawks closed out the cup finals that I would probably post some type of sentimental twaddle about how much this meant to me.

Turns out, this means more to me than I realized.

When Kane's 5-hole shot found it's way underneath the pads of Mike Leighton, I was stunned. To the point that for the first time in my life I was speechless. All of a sudden, 30 years of being a Hawks fan came crashing over me in waves. I've always been a Hawks fan. Ever since I can remember, the likes of Roenick, Chelios, Smith, Larmer, Murray, Grimson, Manson and the like have been the focal point of my sports life. When the Hawks were swept by Super Mario and the Pens, I was crushed. It's one of the few times I remember seeing my Dad sad. I had a very hard time taking that.

I've poured my heart into other teams. I've lived and died with the White Sox. I've put it all out there for the 49ers. Only one team have I ever pushed my soul towards. The Hawks, after 30 years of my life, have finally paid me back. I remember being up at the University of North Dakota drinking one night (which happened to be draft night), when I found out that the Hawks had taken Jonathan Toews with the 3rd pick in the draft. I called everyone that I knew. So very few people even gave a shit for me to get a few words out. But in my heart, I knew. It was finally happening. It was turning around, and I was going to be a part of it. 4 Years ago, I bought a 15-game plan when nobody gave a shit about the Hawks. I really couldn't blame them. The Hawks had been to the playoffs 1 time since I'd graduated high school. But I knew. Then came the lucky ping pong ball. Hawks had a 1.9% chance of getting the #1 overall pick. And it happened. So I went to the UC for the Draft Day party. There were maybe 1,000 of us. 1,000 of us that could feel the momentum shift. That night we took Patrick Kane with the #1 pick in the draft. And the feeling got deeper.

I traded my 15 game pack for a full-season ticket package. 2 seats, section 329, row 12, seats 7 and 8. I'd always promised myself that someday I would own season tickets to the Hawks, for me and my dad. Now I'd fulfilled that dream, and the Hawks kept getting better. Dollar Bill Wirtz died. Rocky took over. And the momentum kept rolling. Names like Bolland, Byfuglien, and Brouwer began to show their presence. The Hawks just missed the playoffs by a few points. I renewed my season ticket package. Marty Havlat made me believe. Johnny Toews made me believe. Kane, Seabrook, and Keith made me believe. Then we were in the Western Conference Finals against the hated Detroit Red Wings.

We lost.

Despite the setback, I told myself that nothing but good could come from the loss. Lessons were learned. Hossas were signed. Then we were right back where we were. Instead of the Wings, it was our new rival, the Sharks. A team that had dominated us for the previous 5 years. 4 games later, and the Hawks were playing for the cup.

You all know how it ended. You saw Kaner's goal. What you didn't see was my soul. My soul being set free. My years of depression watching other teams succeed while the Hawks floundered. The years sitting in a 1/3rd full United Center, looking up at the banners thinking "someday". Well, today is that day. All the effort, joy and sorrow I've put into being a fan. All the game to game emotion I've felt. The effort I've put into getting people to like hockey again when it seemed as if there was no point. All that has been repaid tenfold. All that was repaid when Jonathan Toews picked up the greatest trophy in all of sports, and skated directly over to his team. All that was repaid when Jeremy Roenick, my favorite Hawk of all time, broke down into tears on NBC saying how proud he was. All that was repaid when I saw the look on my dad's face, who had suffered longer than I.

All that was paid back, with interest. All that and more, when I watched a 22-year old kid pick up a trophy, and with that, my soul.

One Goal.

I was creeping around Nucks Misconduct today, and I saw a link to THIS article.  Thinking that it must be the kind of joke that is infinitely too good to be true, I clicked on it, expecting to see at least two chicks eating dookie out of a slurpee glass.  Boy was I surprised when it turned out to be true:

The Tampa Bay Lightning are considering hiring Pierre McGuire as their new General Manager.

Now I'll let that sink in for a second....

The Tampa Bay Lightning are considering hiring Pierre McGuire as their new General Manager.

As absolutely unbelievable as this sounds, apparently there is some truth to it.  After wiping my tears of hilarity and disbelief away, I started pondering the meaning of this omen.  Having given it some thought, I've come to the conclusion that other than McGuire being found having choked to death on Mike's Babcock, him getting a GM job could be the best situation ever.  It's like Christmas come early.  Not only does it get him off of television, but now he can take all the awesome GM knowledge that Mike Milbury imparted to him and use it to make the Lightning the type of organization that's jealous of the Atlanta Thrashers.  Plus, while the team hilariously implodes, we get to watch the Canadiens overpay for the services of Marty St. Louis and Vinny Lecavlier.  It's a complete win/win. 

So let's all start a letter writing campaign to the ownership of the Bolts, and beg them to sign Pierre to this wondrous Job of Jobs.  It will provide us with hours upon hours of entertainment, and make NBC slightly more watchable.

In other news, the sky is still blue.  In this article from The Province (which I suppose is like the Daily Herald of The North), the Canucks apparently are still pissed about their early round exit last year.  Some of the "highlights" of the article include quotes such as:

"...another shot at the Chicago Blackhawks, the team they felt never should have eliminated them from Cup contention"

“I guess it's looking like we might both get another shot at each other although that series isn't over yet,” said Ryan Kesler, who likely still remembers Andrew Ladd's wicked hit that went uncalled in that series." (coward)

"And it would be pretty astonishing if Rick Rypien has forgotten Ben Eager's also totally ignored by the league and totally unsolicited shot that coldcocked him." (I'm sure that Rypien never deserved anything Eager gave him)

"...And who could ever forget Adam Burish's diving exploits, the 10-metre (what's a metre?) board all prepared for his performances."  (uhhhh...what?)

Wow.  Nice  to know that this rivalry is still flying high.  Horribly disappointing to know that it's based on what appears to be smoke, mirrors, and whining.  How about some cheese, Vancouver?  I watched the entire series, and can't really recall Ladd's mystery hit on Kessler.  Nor can I recall Burish diving like an Olympic Swimmer.  If anyone has footage of any of this stuff, please post it because it's been alcohol-ed right  out of my memory.  

Anyways, all of this is moot until the Hawks take care of business and close the door on the Preds tonight.  Just thought you guys might like to know how the current storyline on "General Nuckspital" is going.  Here's hoping the hosers get their wish.

Dirt - The three writers of this site are all pretty goddamn broke, so it's no surprise we couldn't afford to go to Campbell's recent charity poker tournament.  Luckily, we have awesome readers, like AirTrafficAJ, who are more than willing to throw down some cash to head to the tournament and report back for everyone.  This a great recap of the event.. be sure to hit the jump for some great pictures of the event too.. take it away AJ

So I went and played in the Campbell for Kids charity poker event, thought I would share a bit of it with you.  The event itself was packed, with a grand total of 360 players in the tournament.  Each player was assigned a table spot, and after the coordinators had people take their seats the celebrity participants came out, one per table.  My table had Coach Quennville, and I gotta tell you the guy is a riot.  You couldn't ask for a more down to earth, friendly guy.  Chatted with everyone at the table.  As far as the poker itself goes, it was almost a "speed poker" tournament.  Blinds went up every 15 minutes, so if you didn't get good cards, you were not going to last long.  I won one hand all night (off Quennville), and lost one hand (to Quennville).  Wont give you the play by play action, but I will say that the Q-Stache has some river-ridin' magic in it.  Afterwords, he shook my hand and asked if since he beat me, does he get my jersey?  Har Har.

After being eliminated, I wandered around and talked to some of the players  who had been knocked out.  Pretty much the entire team was there except for Madden (probably still in wife-jail after the limo ride).  Everyone was  willing to chat and pose for pictures.  I was once again struck by how young these guys really are.  I'm 30, and can still drink like a champ, but these dudes made me feel fucking ancient.  More than willing to pose for a picture or chat with you.  My highlight of the night came on my way out, when I saw a roulette table downstairs with Barker, Eager, Bolland, and Toews playing.  I stopped to watch for a bit, and was asked if I wanted to play by Barker.  So I proceeded to drop $100 playing a game I normally hate to play, but on the plus side I got a Heinekin from Barker out of the deal.

Some observations:

All the players were drinking.  Versteeg seemed hell-bent on getting his entire table shitfaced.

Buff had the line of the night, standing up from his table and saying "I gotta go take a shit"

Kopecky has zero accent.

Brouwer is absolutely huge.

Kane had no idea how to play poker.  Instead of taking a peek at his cards, he would pick both of them up, and hold them in front of his face, thereby allowing everyone watching behind him to see his cards. 

There were some serious sluts wandering around, trying to fuck their way to stardom.  Can't stand that shit.  On the plus side, they were all hotter than the farm girls in the limo pictures. 

All in all, it was a great event for an awesome cause.  I'm definitely going again next year, unless the meatheads get their wish and Soupy is run out of town.

Some Pics (after the jump):

Continue reading this post »

OK, so maybe the watcher was a stretch.  Now that I know you are bald, lets see some of the options:

You run what could be called a School For Hockey Fandom, teaching Social Mutants the intricacies of the wonderful game of hockey.  How about:

OR

You are the ultra-powerful master of the SCH universe.  It's very molecules are under your control, and you have the ability to blast Trolls like redtribe into nothingness...

You surf the interdnetz for amazing hockey information, spreading the message to other SBN sites of their impending destruction at the hand of the unstoppable juggernaut that is the Chicago Blackhawks...

Ummmm...you're green and you hate fire?

I got it...you run SCH with an iron fist, crushing all opposition without mercy.  And you called me out in a game recap, which is kind of tyrannical...

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

So I caught this on Tim Sassone's blog this morning, and it's worth a look.  Apparently Ryan Kesler called Andrew Ladd a coward based on some hit that I don't remember from the playoff series last spring.  According to Kesler, Ladd hit him from behind, and wanted revenge.  So he tried to get it by getting his face split open by Ladder, and hugging him until the fight stopped.  What a man, that Ryan Kesler. 

Sassone also mentions that the Hawks/Vancouver tilts are rapidly becoming more of a rivalry than Hawks/Scum, due to the penchant for nastiness by both teams.  While I'm not ready to crown the 'Nucks the new Scum, I will say that this pairing reminds me an awful lot of the old Hawks/Northstars rumbles.  The Canucks aren't a big team, and they aren't a collection of goons like Philly.  What they are, is a bunch of annoying little shits, who you would like to see lose a few teeth.  Kesler, Burrows, Bieksa, Mitchell...they are all names who are just as likely to end up on IR because of an unhinged jaw from constant whining. 

What do you guys and gals think?  Are the 'Nucks the new rivals for the Hawks?

I'm not normally one to complain about the before/after situation happening up in the 300 level right now.  The Hawks are the new "it" thing in Chicago right now,  and hangers on are inevitable.  The problem that I really have is that people who are showing up have no idea how to behave at a hockey game.  Two instances tonight really got me pissed off. 

A bit of background for situation #1:  my season tickets are 12 rows up in the 300 level.  That's about 2/3 the way up the stairs, a pretty good hike for someone in better shape than myself.  It's also a bit hard to get up from the concourse to your seats from the time play stops, until it starts.  Just after the game started tonight, a pair of younger kids (a brother and sister) came trudging up the steps during a stoppage in play.  Their seats were 2 rows behind mine, and before they could get up to the 14th row, the play began again.  The mongoloid who sits in the first 2 seats in row 14 refuses to stand up and let the kids to their seats.  He just says "wait for the fucking whistle" and stares straight ahead.  The kids, who have no idea what to do, just stand in the aisle looking embarassed and confused.  

Situation #2:  My buddy and I are walking out of the UC, having just witnessed the most enjoyable shootout of the season, when I see a middle-aged father in a Boston (Sergi Samsonov) sweater walking hand in hand with his 3-4 year old son.  About 10 feet away are a group of drunk-assed college aged kids, who are yelling and harassing the father, howling that his son is going to grow up retarted because his dad was a Bruins fan.  The kid has a terrified look on his face, and the dad is trying to hustle his son out of the parking lot.  The drunk idiots continue to shout shit that gets less and less intelligible, and the kid looks more and more frightened.  To get away from the hecklers, the dad walks into a busy intersection across Damen to get to the parking lot.

I realize that we hockey fans have a reputation to uphold as being some of the most die-hard in professional sports.  I also love to harangue fans of opposing teams that show up in our house.  That being said, I give shit to people who deserve it.  The guy who shows up in your house, and when his team scores, he turns around and gives the little "eat shit" pose?  Fuck you, you're fair game.  The dad taking his son to his first ever hockey game?  Not so much.  The last thing we as Hawks fans should want is to be compared to Philadelphia fans.  I'd like to hope that if Santa Claus showed up at the UC in a Bruins jersey he'd be able to make it out of the building without (additional) brain damage.

Personally, I think in the end the most important thing to remember is that we are ALL hockey fans.  I swear like a sailor every time Barker gets caught out of position, or Sopel being 2 steps to slow results in a Boston goal.  It's going to happen, and I'm not advocating hockey arenas turning into PC palaces.  That being said, scaring the shit out of a little kid in a parking lot until he gets to the point where he never wants to go again does nothing but ensure that Hockey is continued to be viewed by the general public as a sport for violent neanderthals who want nothing but to beat the shit out of each other and get Bleacher-Bum level drunk.  What I'm asking you, the die-hard Hawks fans who post and read this fuck-awesome fan site, is that when you see shit like this going down is pass some learnin' onto these mouth breathers.  Tell the frat boy hangers on to stop acting like fuckwads and giving us a bad name.  Tell Mongo to let the kids to their seats.  Tell the "shoot it" guy that every time the puck heads to the point it may not actually be the prime scoring chance he thinks it is.  Hopefully with a bit of assistance, we can curtail this kind of hooliganism.    

Anyways, I'll step down from my shitty little soapbox now.  Thanks for reading.

Saw this over at the Hockey Wilderness page, in regards to the two game suspension of Alex Ovechkin.  It's not as good as the flow chart provided by the Toronto Fans, but hilarious nonetheless.  Side note:  Was the 2 games Ovie received too much?  Not enough?  The NHL has him listed as a "repeat offender", connecting him with the likes of Sean Avery (who we've heard nearly nothing about this season) and Steve Ott.  

Thoughts?

via assets.sbnation.com

Actually it's just section 329 row 12 at the UC.  I can't make it to the game tonight, so if anybody wants my seats they are welcome to them.  Just email me:  andrew.jonathan@und.edu

Let me know what your email address is and they are yours.  Better somebody uses them then they sit empty.  The caveat is I have to know by 5 for the cutoff to forward them via email. 

Let me know...

Everybody is a capologist these days.  Ken Campbell from The Hockey News has decided to throw in his two cents, saying that the Blackhawks should send Huet to the minors to free up his cap hit and promote Cory Crawford or Fallon.  I'm obviously not a genius, but I'm fairly certain that Rocky (despite being a gazillionaire) is not going to pay Huet $5.6 million (or whatever) to sit down in Rockford and watch the construction on I-90.  I'm not ready to call Campbell the Barry Rozner of the North, but it's getting there...

The parade of Skating Wounded continues in Detoilet, as former Hawk Jason Williams has broken his fibula in a game against the Maple Leafs (a game that The Scum ended up losing 5-1).  J-dubs took a hard check into the half boards, then laid on the ice for upwards of 5 minutes.  The Detroit DOA list now reads: Franzen (torn ACL), Williams (broken leg), Filppula (cracked wrist), and Lilja (brain damage).  Not to mention the losses of Hossa, Hudler, and Samuelsson, and the yearly slumping of Chris OsGay.  If there were ever a time for the Hawks to open up a 20 point lead on these shitheads, its now.

According to Tim Sassone of the Daily Herald, Anti Niemi will make the start tonight against Khabibulin and the Edmonton Oilers.  I had assumed that Q would go back to Huet tonight to give him a bit of confidence, and maybe a showdown against his old partner would shake him out of his funk.  Apparently that's not the case, so lets hope that Anti is up to the job.   Edmonton isn't the offensive team that Calgary or The Scum are (who have goaltending problems of their own), so if the Hawks play solid in front of him this SHOULD be a win. 

In This Story by TSN, Phil Kessel has signed with the Toronto Maple Leafs for a 5-year $27 million dollar contract.  This works out to about a 5.4 million dollar cap hit per year for the Leafs.  Kessel is pretty similar in age and stats to Toews and Kane.  While I think that each will command slightly more (depending on stats this season), this is a pretty reasonable starting point for a dollar figure.  The main question is how do you fit this under the supposedly dropping cap?

The NHLPA has fired it's director, Paul Kelly, for essentially being too close to management.  His ouster was apparently spearheaded by Dr. Concussion himself, Eric Lindross at the business hour of 3 in the morning.  At this point, expect Kelly to be replaced by someone who is going to take a more hard line with the NHL.  With the CBA running out in a few years, this could eventually lead to another work stoppage.  Puck Daddy has an excellent piece on this situation here:

NHLPA fires director Kelly

Are we screwed again?

Any of you Hawks fans gonna try to hit up the Olympics in Vancouver come this February?  I'm gonna try and scrap together enough scratch to see the US team play at least once.  It would be cool to booze it up in Canada with some of you hooligans.  I have some buddies who live in the Seattle area, and it's not much of a drive from there to Van. I suppose  this goes for anybody from other sites (even DeadWings fans) (I guess). 

Also, I'd like to get some opinions on which country has the edge on snagging a medal...I'm guessing Russia is the team to beat, despite what our neighbors to the north would have you believe.  Any team who's 2nd line center is Evgeni Malkin should roll over you like a tsunami.

The NHL has turned the Coyotes saga into such a complete clusterfuck that it now parallels the plot of the best movie of all time:

Rodney Dangerfield = Jim Balsille

Bushwood Country Club = NHL and it's head peon, Gary Betteman.

Where exactly does the NHL get off owning a team?  How much money would the league actually be willing to put into an already failing franchise?  Are they really willing to toss their burning money down the empty well that is the greater Phoenix area?  Also, I'm no business major, but wouldn't  the NHL owning one of it's teams be a slight conflict of interest?

  What is it actually going to  take to get rid of  Betteman's sorry ass?

    Sweet Christmas, every time Pierre McGuire and Mike Milbury are on the screen together I want to throw a brick through my TV.  Milbury actually asked Sydney Crosby if he ever beat his dog during an interview during the 1st intermission.  McGuire couldn't stop himself from orally fellating the Red Wings if his tounge were cut out and his lips sewn shut.  It got so bad I started hoping Josh Mora would show up and take over the intermission report. 

    I realize that the NHL needs exposure, but these two numbfucks are not that.