Twins hitters struck out 16 times today against Detroit Tiger pitching.

16 times? 16 times.

Even with that offensive ineptitude, the Twins did nab 3 runs thanks to home runs from Justin Morneau and Denard Span, but poor starting pitching was once again the story today. Carl Pavano took the mound for the Twins and didn't last very long, allowing 6 runs in 4 1/3 innings.

Although Pavano did give up 2 runs right away in the first inning, he did keep the score knotted at 2 until the 5th inning when the following sequence of hits occurred: Single, single, single, double, single, single. Those 6 consecutive hits led to 4 runs, and Pavano was chased from the game.

On the other side, Max Schezer was able to continue his success from his last start, where he had 15 strikeouts in 7 innings against the Pittsburgh Pirates. This time around, he struck out 9 Twins in 5 1/3 innings, and easily would have pitched deeper into the game if it wasn't for a ~40 minute rain delay in the bottom of the 6th inning.

After the delay was over, Tigers manager chose to turn to reliever Octavio Dotel, and the strikeout parade continued. Dotel, Joaquin Benoit, and Jose Valverde combined for 7 more strikeouts, shutting the door on the Twins offense for the rest of the day.

Studs

Denard Span (2 for 4, 2B, HR), Ben Revere (3 for 4), Justin Morneau (1 for 4, 2 run HR), Brian Duensing (2 2/3 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 2 K)

Duds

*deep breath* Josh Willingham (0 for 4, 4 K), Brian Dozier (0 for 4, 3 K, fielding error on routine double play grounder), Alexi Casilla (0 for 4, 2 K), Drew Butera (0 for 3, 3 K), Carl Pavano (4 1/3 IP, 10 H, 6 R, 2 K)

The offense did as much as they could last night, but the pitching duo of Anthony Swarzak and Francisco Liriano betrayed them, allowing 10 runs between them.

Neither starter for today's game has looked great so far. Carl Pavano has been battling that sore shoulder of his, which oddly enough has allowed him to become rather economical with his pitch counts lately, though it hasn't helped him with the runs allowed department. Meanwhile, the Tigers' Max Scherzer did have 15 strikeouts in his last outing, but he still has a 5.73 ERA for the season. At least the Twins don't have Carlos Gomez anymore to flail at Scherzer's change-up, but still, with a 15-30 record, this Twins team certainly feels like it could rack up 10+ K against Scherzer, right? Hopefully you all are more optimistic than me.

It's raining right now, but Dave St. Peter tweeted that the game will still start on time. I highly doubt that, but we'll see.

Twins

1. Denard Span, CF
2. Ben Revere, RF
3. Joe Mauer, DH
4. Josh Willingham, LF
5. Justin Morneau, 1B
6. Brian Dozier, SS
7. Alexi Casilla, 2B
8. Drew Butera, C
9. Jamey Carroll, 3B

SP Carl Pavano

Tigers

SP Max Scherzer

After a 5-3 road trip, it seems like the Twins are finally showing some life. Yes, they lost 10-6 yesterday, but hey, 6 runs is something!

Also, I realized something as I was walking through Ramp A yesterday night after the Twins game: Anthony Swarzak is like a crappier pitching version of Michael Cuddyer. You know how Cuddyer was "versatile" even though he didn't really excel at any one position (yes, that includes right field, where UZR consistently rated him as below-average). Meanwhile, Swarzak has openly announced his willingness to pitch in any role, even once proclaiming last season that he could come into a game in relief despite starting the previous game. I feel Swarzak isn't good in any role, but his unselfishness makes him "versatile," dammit.

/rant*

* Was this a rant? I'm really not sure.

• The next time you see a hitter completely embarrass himself by waving at a pitch that's nowhere near the strike zone, you can think of this GIF of Rickie Weeks helplessly flailing at a Sergio Romo slider. To borrow an obnoxious phrase that's common in MLB: The Show, "He would have needed an oar to hit that one!"
  
• I've noticed lately that quite a few baseball teams that are not at the professional level have resorted to making dance videos to pass the time and entertain us, the fans. The viral video at the moment is the Harvard baseball team doing a sorta choreographed "dance" to Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe." Honestly, I wasn't too impressed with it (it's only two moves!) but I do have to admit that it's nice to see college males do something more creative than lace their intramural softball team name with more double entendres than you have fingers. Anyway, FanGraphs has put together a collection of baseball teams intertwined with dance to satiate your needs.
  
• I'm a bit tired of the shaving cream pies for having a game-winning hit or a successful debut, but I can make an exception for Angel Pagan when he pie'd himself in the face, with some assistance from teammate Pablo Sandoval. I think knowing that it's coming makes the stinging in your eyes disappear faster.
• Finally, the Phillies had a severe crisis on their hands. Can you spot the error with this Roy Halladay bobblehead? No, not the face. Well, maybe this picture will help. If you're a fan of bobbleheads with weird quirks like this, you'll be pleased to know that MLB has these bobbleheads on clearance right now, so go ahead and buy 10 of them.
• Edit: A late entrant for today's Breakfast & Baseball is quite possibly the catch of the century. Lower Columbia College outfielder Derrick Salberg made a game-ending catch against Everett, robbing at least an extra-base hit from hitter Keone Kela. However, this wasn't your typical Torii Hunter-style home run grab. Rather, Salberg jumped over the fence to make his catch. Now, I'm not entirely sure how this doesn't count as a home run considering his feet never touched the ground prior to him making the catch and then going over the fence, but somehow it's an out.

No annoying softball news from me today, so you can stop sharpening your steak knives. Well, at least until next week.

Isn't this fun? So far, it appears as though the Twins have quaffed their magic interleague potions, guaranteeing a series victory against the Brewers by winning today 5-4 in 11 innings.

The scoring started back in the top of the 4th for the Twins, when Ben Revere hit a one out double over Nyjer Morgan's head into the left-center field gap. The Twins would load the bases on a couple of walks, but they could only muster a sacrifice fly from Brian Dozier. The Brewers didn't take long to tie it back up, though, as catcher Jonathan Lucroy hit an RBI single with two outs in the bottom of the frame, scoring Nyjer Morgan from second base.

Both teams would tack on 3 runs in innings 6-8, though the heartbreaker was a 2-run homer by Aramis Ramirez in the bottom of the 8th inning off formerly unhittable reliever Jared Burton. That dinger would end up knotting the score at 4.

However, that didn't stop the Twins, as Trevor Plouffe came through in the top of the 11th inning. Mired in a slump that exiled the likes of Sean Burroughs, Chris Parmelee, and Danny Valencia to Triple-A Rochester, Plouffe was able to take advantage of a 2-0 meatball from Manny Parra, hitting it over the left field fence for the game-winning run and his 3rd homer in his past 4 games.

Studs

Trevor Plouffe (1 for 1, game-winning HR), Ben Revere (2 for 4, 2 2B, HBP, RBI), Drew Butera (2 for 5, 2B), Jamey Carroll (2 for 4, RBI), Carl Pavano (6 IP, 2 ER, 1 BB, 6 K)

Duds

Denard Span (0 for 5), Josh Willingham (0 for 4, 3 K), Alexi Casilla (0 for 5)

Notes

- Twins pitchers on Saturday: 1 BB, 14 K

- Trevor Plouffe's last four games: 3 for 15, 6 K, 3 HR. He's certainly making his hits count.

- The Twins used 18 of their 25 players in today's game. The 7 that did not play were P.J. Walters, Scott Diamond, Jason Marquis, Anthony Swarzak, Alex Burnett, Francisco Liriano, and Darin Mastroianni.

Can the Twins make it 4 in a row? This winning streak has come out of nowhere, leading some people to proclaim that "It's Happening" again. Well, we know how that turned out last year, so I'm going to be cautiously optimistic about this.

One big reason for my caution is that Carl Pavano is taking the mound today. On most days, this would be a good sign, but he's been pitching through some shoulder problems. Luckily for him, most of his recent starts have seen him go about 6 innings despite coming nowhere near 100 pitches, so somehow he's being effective while being protected by the coaching staff.

Interesting note: Ben Revere is in right field today. Let's see how many times his arm gets challenged by the Brewers going first to third. Also, there's no Joe Mauer in the lineup.

Twins

1. Denard Span, CF
2. Ben Revere, RF
3. Josh Willingham, LF
4. Justin Morneau, 1B
5. Brian Dozier, SS
6. Alexi Casilla, 2B
7. Drew Butera, C
8. Jamey Carroll, 3B
9. Carl Pavano, P

Brewers

1. Corey Hart, RF
2. Nyjer Morgan, CF
3. Ryan Braun, LF
4. Aramis Ramirez, 3B
5. Jonathan Lucroy, C
6. Rickie Weeks, 2B
7. Taylor Green, 1B
8. Edwin Maysonet, SS
9. Yovani Gallardo, P

Remember a couple weeks ago when we voted on whether it was awesome or super-totally-wickedly-awesome that a teammate and I were going to be wearing #00 and #0 on our softball team, respectively? Well, congratulations to everyone that picked "Nice try, Bryz, but that other guy is NOT going to be wearing #00 for your team," because that’s exactly what happened. Yours truly will instead be wearing #00 by himself, while my unnamed teammate went with the blasé #2.

By the way, to show that the number without a number isn’t as odd as you may think, the team we played against on Wednesday had a player with #0, so this idea really isn’t that radical. Now, let’s check out this past week in baseball news around the league.

• Three cheers for MLB as they finally showed the guts to discipline one of their own umpires. Bob Davidson, long known as one umpire that enjoys picking fights with players and coaches, couldn’t handle Phillies manager Charlie Manuel’s complaints from the dugout during Tuesday’s Phillies/Astros game after Davidson inadvertently (?) blocked Phillies catcher Brian Schneider from retrieving a wild pitch on a third strike. Davidson quickly turned his mood from cruise control to spitting angry, and launched an expletive-laden tirade against Manuel after ejecting the manager from the game… while he was still in the dugout. MLB clearly and rightfully noticed that Davidson acted unprofessionally here, so they suspended Davidson for one game. Do I feel that the suspension is too short? Kind of, but considering it’s the first umpire suspension I can ever remember, I think it might be simply used as a warning to other umps.
• Speaking of temper tantrums and suspensions, the Blue Jays’ Brett Lawrie had a rather epic one earlier this week, leading to a 4-game suspension when his thrown helmet bounced off the ground and hit umpire Bill Miller after watching a called strike three. Lawrie said after the game that he didn’t intend to hit Miller, but honestly, you just don’t throw anything in the direction of anyone and expect it to not hit them. Lawrie at first was going to appeal the suspension, but quickly dropped it. Hopefully the Jays send him to a physics class while he’s out so he can learn about trajectories.
• Sticking with the Blue Jays, they made history with one of their transactions earlier this week. No, sending Adam Lind to Triple-A wasn’t noteworthy, but rather the man that came up to replace him. On Thursday, C/3B Yan Gomes became the first Brazilian-born athlete to play in the major leagues. Don't worry, this isn't some sort of gimmick, because Gomes had been hitting .359/.391/.565 down in Triple-A.
  
• Don't spit your gum on Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine, or else you're going to get the stare-down. I gotta say, most managers would probably change the argument from "How could you blow that call?" to "How dare you spit your gum at me!" but Valentine decides the better option is to just walk away from umpire Gary Darling while giving him the "You're going to pay" stare.
  
• Kerry Wood hung up his cleats after yesterday's game, calling it a career after a rocky, up-and-down 14 years in the big leagues. Wood was off to a terrible start this year, and instead of trying to ride out his struggles, he chose instead to just walk away. He finished his career with an impressive 10.32 K/9, and he will always leave us in wonder of what could have been, if not for all the injuries he sustained over the years. At least we'll always have this brilliant game to remember forever.
  
• Finally, we're going to have another vote. During Friday's Cubs/White Sox game, David DeJesus cracked a base hit into left-center field and attempted to stretch it into a double. He did successfully get to second base... at least, until Gordon Beckham knocked him off the bag. It wasn't so much a remix of the Kent Hrbek/Ron Gant play at first base as much as it was Beckham trying to prevent DeJesus from crossing the goal line for a touchdown by tackling him. However, White Sox announcers Hawk Harrelson and Steve Stone saw it another way. Thus, what do you say?

I'll admit, I was fully expecting P.J. Walters to get lit up like a Christmas tree this start. Instead, he baffled most of the Blue Jays hitters tonight with his change-up and excellent command, and if it wasn't for the offense choking with runners in scoring position, he would have walked away with at least a no-decision. Instead, giving up two runs turned out to be too many as the Twins lost 2-1.

Walters was certainly masterful, going 6 innings while giving up only 6 hits and no walks to go with 5 strikeouts. His only damage allowed came in consecutive innings, and they were both quick and relatively painless. With the Twins already up 1-0 from a bases-loaded walk by Trevor Plouffe in the 4th inning, Walters gave up a 2-out double to Colby Rasmus in the 5th. Adam Lind followed with a single to center field, tying the score at 1.

Then in the 6th, it was familiar Twins-killer Jose Bautista. Again with two outs, the Blue Jays got their second run when Bautista deposited a Walters slider just over the fence in left field. The umpires originally ruled it a double as the ball bounced back onto the field, but replays showed that the ball landed in the flower bed before ricocheting back into play.

The Twins did show good patience at the plate again today, drawing 4 walks off Blue Jays starter Drew Hutchison, but they failed to capitalize all night. The team went 0 for 9 with runners in scoring position, which was blatantly on display in the 6th and 8th innings when they were unable to take advantage of leadoff doubles by Brian Dozier and Joe Mauer, respectively.

Studs

P.J. Walters (6 IP, 2 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 5 K), Brian Duensing (2 IP, 2 K), Jeff Gray (1 IP, 2 K), Joe Mauer and Brian Dozier (2 for 4 each, 1 2B each)

Duds

Every other hitter (combined 1 for 23)

Notes

Most of us know how notorious Twingo cards are for featuring near-impossible fielding plays (Catcher's interference next to my free space? Screw that, I'm getting a beer), but tonight we saw four defensive plays by the Blue Jays that ranged from fairly uncommon to downright once-in-a-decade. In the 3rd inning, there was the 9-3 (right field to 1st base) double play. In the 5th, there was your ol' 5-6-3 (3rd base - shortstop - 1st base) ground out. The 6th had a 1-6-3 play (pitcher - shortstop - 1st base) which doesn't sound so odd until you realize that this also netted only a single out. Finally, the 7th inning had the cherry on top, when Chris Parmelee's foul ball down the left field line bounced out of the glove from a stumbling Brett Lawrie (playing 3rd base), only to be caught by left fielder Eric Thames (5-7).

If any of you find a Twingo card with those 4 plays on it, I'll buy you a drink. If you got a Twingo with all 4 of them, then I'll buy you the Town Ball Tavern.

First Pitch: 6:10 pm CDT
TV: FSN
Radio: 1500 ESPN
Know Thine Enemy: Bluebird Banter

Game 1 was chock full o' Little League play. Game 2 was crisp, and the Twins' patient bats just managed to fend off the AL Home Run Derby participants Blue Jays. Tonight, it's P.J. Walters making his 2012 debut.

What should we know about Walters? Well, he throws as hard (soft?) as Carl Pavano, version pre-2012. In Walters' 51 inning major league career, he struck out a league-average number of hitters and had a walk rate above the league average, which just doesn't fit with the Twins way. Here's hoping that he follows in Scott Diamond's footsteps from Tuesday and says, "I do what I want!" instead. Otherwise, he gives up homers like no one else (2.12 HR/9, which is double the league average), so I'll forgive you if you confuse the actual game with T.C. Bear's Saturday softball home run derby.

Lineups and starting pitchers after the jump!

Continue reading this post »

You know how fans always argue that players should play through the pain, even when the injury affects something VERY critical to that person's success? You know, how people were angry that Joe Mauer couldn't play through his "bilateral leg weakness," even though your legs are collectively one of the most important things you need to hit and especially crouch as a catcher? Well, I got a taste of attempting to "play through the pain" while teaching. If I had a head cold, it wouldn't be pleasant, but I'd survive.

However, I lost one of the most valuable things a teacher needs: My voice. I tried to tough it out on Wednesday, and I couldn't raise my voice at all. Thursday, I made it through one and a half classes before going home. Friday was identical to Wednesday. If I was a hitter, I would have just gone 1 for 18 in a week, along with riding the pine for 2-3 games. Thankfully, the kids showed some mercy on me and were slightly easier to quiet down these past few days.

Enough about me. Here's your baseball news.

• Well, the first thing is Josh Hamilton's inhuman game on Tuesday against the Baltimore Orioles. 5 for 5, 1 2B, 4 HR, 8 RBI. Even though I think he's a bit overrated due to his comeback from drug and alcohol abuse (which is certainly noteworthy but I think gets more air time than it deserves), this was one of those performances where you just had to tip your cap. In fact, the Orioles crowd even gave Hamilton a standing ovation after his final homer. To make the feat even more impressive, all of his home runs were hit to center field or to the opposite field.
  
• Not wanting to be left out with odd stat lines, Hamilton's teammate Colby Lewis had a pretty interesting game himself on Thursday. 7 IP, 5 H, 6 ER, 1 BB, 5 HR, 12 K. You know how Vikings running back Adrian Peterson describes his rushing attempts as "Famine, famine, feast"? Well, Lewis had a whole bunch of famines and feasts that day. The 12 strikeouts were a career high, and he became only the 5th pitcher in major league history to allow 5 home runs in a start with no other type of hit. Oh, and for you sabermetric folk like myself, that's 6 ER with a .000 BABIP for the game.
• Someone from Twinkie Town needs to start doing posts like this one. If you're one of those people that doesn't like clicking foreign links*, fellow SB Nation blog DRaysBay does a weekly recap of the Tampa Bay Rays' broadcasts, and it's a shame you're not clicking on that link, because the post is pure genius. My favorite is the picture of B.J. Upton throwing seeds into his mouth. It seems like something that Jon Marthaler and/or RandBall's Stu would enjoy doing.
  

* Which makes me question why you're reading this Breakfast & Baseball post in the first place.

• Watch out if you get a phone call or email from a young baseball player touting himself as "Montaous Walton," because there's no real baseball athlete by that name. There is, however, someone using the name and fake baseball statistics, to successfully sucker agents into giving him plane tickets and making his cell phone payments, as well as getting sportswriters to pump out feel-good stories about him. There's even a Twins tie in this, as the fictitious Walton claims that he was first signed Minnesota sometime prior to 2010. I must admit, though, that this guy is pulling off the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn very well
• It sounds like MLB is considering a ban of the fake-to-third, throw-to-first pickoff play. Honestly, we could file this under something that MLB considers to be a problem but really isn't, though isn't that Bud Selig's forte? While this play does little in the game other than annoy us, it appears as though it is indeed a legal play. Er, perhaps shortly I should say that it was a legal play.
• Finally, let's check in on how former Twin Joe Nathan is doing.

Okay, then.

Come back later for the game thread. I'll try not to forget it this week.

On the plus side, it was progress compared to being no-hit by Jered Weaver. Felix Hernandez shut down the struggling Twins offense, allowing only one hit as the Mariners beat the Twins 7-0.

Once we got past the 5th inning, this game was just awful. The first half was owned by starting pitchers Jason Marquis and Felix Hernandez, though they were doing it in opposite fashions. Hernandez was mowing down Twins left and right, while Marquis flirted with danger for much of the game.

Thanks to a rather tight strike zone and iffy command, Marquis walked 6 batters and struck out only 1. However, home plate umpire Laz Diaz shouldn't take too much of the blame, as Hernandez certainly had very few issues with the zone, walking only 2 while striking out 9. The lone baserunners for the Twins game on a lazy groundball single for Denard Span into right field, and two walks from Josh Willingham and Ryan Doumit.

The game stayed scoreless until the 6th inning, when with runners on 2nd and 3rd and two away, Kyle Seager hit a 2-run single to center field off Marquis. With someone as dominant as Hernandez, that was certainly enough, though the Mariners tacked on 5 more in the 7th inning off Anthony Swarzak, Matt Maloney, and Jeff Gray. Meanwhile, Hernandez kept on trucking, finally giving way to Steve Delabar in the 9th inning.

Studs

No one. This game was a flaming pile of crap. #CrankyBryz

Duds

Everyone except for Alex Burnett.

Sorry everyone. I got caught up in the moment of having a lazy Saturday and totally forgot about this game thread. Anyway, Erik Komatsu makes his Twins debut, and Justin Morneau will be hitting the DL shortly. It also sounds like Scott Diamond will be called up within the next couple days, with possibly Liam Hendriks being the sacrificial lamb, though honestly, the entire starting rotation could probably be Old Yeller'd.

Twins

1. Denard Span, CF
2. Jamey Carroll, SS
3. Joe Mauer, DH
4. Josh Willingham, LF
5. Ryan Doumit, C
6. Chris Parmelee, 1B
7. Danny Valencia, 3B
8. Erik Komatsu, RF
9. Alexi Casilla, 2B

SP Jason Marquis

Mariners

1. Dustin Ackley, 2B
2. Brendan Ryan, SS
3. Ichiro Suzuki, RF
4. Jesus Montero, C
5. Kyle Seager, 3B
6. John Jaso, DH
7. Justin Smoak, 1B
8. Mike Carp, LF
9. Michael Saunders, CF

SP Felix Hernandez

Hey, the Twins scored a run! It only took them nearly three games' worth of innings to do so, but they finally pulled it off. And look! A win came with those runs! Amazing what can happen in the game of baseball when your offense starts clicking! Granted, it took a ton of walks, a bad decision and throw by Tom Wilhelmsen, and Brendan Ryan replacing his glove with a stainless steel pot on Joe Mauer's grounder up the middle, but a win is a win.

• I mentioned earlier that things were getting a little sticky with Heath Bell and Albert Pujols, and it's just getting worse. The Machine still has yet to hit a homer this season, and Bell just blew his 4th save in 7 tries. A little closer to home, Clete Thomas forgot to bring his baseball bat with him into the batter's box, but at least he was merely making the major league minimum salary.
  
• After being arrested last week for shenanigans and mischief in the wee hours of the night in New York, Delmon Young was reinstated from his 7-game suspension by the Detroit Tigers. He offered up an apology yesterday after speaking with a rabbi, and I do have a question for Delmon. How excruciating was it for him to sit down with all those microphones and people surrounding him?
  
• I hate the New York Yankees as a whole, and I especially despise Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, but I'll admit that I was disappointed to hear that Mariano Rivera suffered a torn ACL from chasing after a batting practice fly ball. We'd normally file this under, "WHY THE HELL IS YOUR PERENNIAL ALL-STAR CLOSER GOING 100% IN THE OUTFIELD FOR BATTING PRACTICE?" except as Jeter himself mentioned, Rivera's been doing this "for twenty-some years." Kudos to Mo, however, as he pledges that he will not leave baseball due to this injury. Honestly, watching a pitcher dominate with just a single pitch has been a real joy, even if he dons pinstripes.
• He's 19 years old, has an ego larger than Russia, and he's already batting 3rd for the Washington Nationals. Yes, that would be Bryce Harper. As of today, he has a .316/.417/.526 line, which if he returned to catcher, he would probably become the newest incarnation of "Mauer With Power." Oh, you can also head over to NotGraphs and vote on who has the better throwing arm: Harper, or George Washington?
  
• Finally, we have to finish up with some ridiculous news. For a couple years now, some ballplayers have been using a spray made up ground-up deer antlers from a manufacturer named Nutronics Labs. MLB investigated and released a statement that use of the spray could lead to a positive drug test. Can you guess what's next? Of course, Nutronics Labs is now suing MLB, claiming that their comments have led to as much as $50 million in losses. I can't wait for the settlement to come 6 months from now (sarcasm doesn't carry over well online, does it?). Regardless, with how reckless he is with his supplements, I imagine Bronson Arroyo using this deer antler spray like a middle school boy uses his Axe body spray.
  

Softball season has officially started, and I kicked off my league by going 4 for 8 with two doubles. By the way, you can settle a mini-dispute between my girlfriend and myself. A teammate of mine requested the number 00. I wanted that too, so as a compromise, I asked for 0. Is it awesome having both a 00 and a 0 on the roster (like I believe) or is it ridiculous (as she believes)?

Hmm. The Twins started 0-4. Then they went 5-5 and hope (at least for me) had returned. Now they've rattled off an 0-5 stretch. The starting pitching has been terrible. The offense has been decidedly not clutch. The shine on Clete Thomas, Sean Burroughs, and Matt Maloney appears to have faded away. We do still have a long way to go, but for the love of the baseball gods, Twins, please turn this around quick.

Note: I have been busy from late afternoon Friday all the way until this morning, so I had to type up this post on Thursday night in between submitting grades for the mid-trimester and falling asleep. It's very possible that any news I missed is due to the fact that it happened after I had already typed this up. My apologies.

• If you look at his numbers, this doesn't seem like a shock, but the Tigers releasing Brandon Inge seems odd simply because he's been with them for so long. However, with the dominant Miguel Cabrera moving over to 3rd base, Inge was back in a utility-type role, and even his defense wasn't enough to keep him around. He feels like a Twins player, so I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up handing him a minor league contract to see if he can give them an excuse to dump Sean Burroughs (which, by the way, the experiment of having him pressure Danny Valencia appears to have had the wrong effect, as not only is Burroughs looking bad at the plate, but so is ol' Danny Boy).
  
• I wish Chris Parmelee the very best after getting hit in the head by a pitch, but if you look at his numbers this year, he's looked like a shell of the player he was last year. Well, to be more honest, he's reverted back to the player that most of us expected he would be. His walks, average, and power are all down, and his strikeouts are up. What once appeared to be a solid alternative to Justin Morneau at first base is starting to disappear.
• When Albert Pujols signed with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of the United States of etc., we all knew that they just landed the best hitter in the major leagues. Well, much like Chris Parmelee, The Machine isn't looking so hot right now. It's a similar story in Miami with closer Heath Bell, where he has an ERA over 9 right now. So, if you complained about the Mauer extension all of last year, take a deep breath, because it's okay. Sometimes other players have rough starts to their new contracts as well.
• You've probably already seen this, but here's Josh Willingham and his newborn son. Josh, you have one duty ahead of you: Put the baseball in the kid's left hand.
  

I'll try to find a way to get the game thread up today, as I'm working today's game. Section 238 if you happen to be in the area.

What did I say, people? From the game thread earlier today.

I don't know if this has the potential of being a pitcher's duel, but I could easily see both starters pitching into the 7th or even 8th inning tonight. That may sound contradictory, but does 3 runs in 7 innings for Pavano really qualify him for being one half of a pitcher's duel? I think not.

For nearly 6 innings, we did have a pitcher's duel. The two teams were deadlocked in a 0-0 tie, with both pitchers doing a great job of shutting down the opposing team's offense.

That is, until Carl Pavano reached the Rays' half of the 6th inning. He was still on the mound and was still looking pretty good after striking out Ben Zobrist to lead off the inning, his 7th strikeout of the game. However, Pavano then walked Carlos Pena, and cleanup hitter Evan Longoria singled to left field. Now facing Luke Scott, Pavano induced a fly out to Denard Span for the second out in the inning. On the play, Pena tagged up and went to 3rd, drawing a questionable throw over the cutoff man from Span. Pena was just barely safe, but the throw by Span allowed Longoria to also tag up to second base.

After an intentional walk to Matt Joyce, B.J. Upton finally broke through with a 2-run single to center field. Once again, Span attempted a throw to third base, and again the results were not positive as Span's throw hit Joyce in the back, allowing a third run to score and Upton to advance to second.

The poor defense continued in the next inning for the Twins. With Alex Burnett pitching and one out, leadoff hitter Desmond Jennings hit a chopper to Danny Valencia at third. Valencia chose to stay back on the ball instead of charging it, and Jennings beat out Valencia's throw for an infield single. Ben Zobrist followed with a tailor-made double play to Alexi Casilla, but his throw was slightly wide of Jamey Carroll and the ball glanced off the tip of Carroll's glove for an error. Following Carlos Pena being hit by a pitch, Valencia committed the Twins' third error of the game when he was unable to backhand a grounder from Evan Longoria.

In the box score, we'll only see two unearned runs, but if Span threw to second base instead of third on Luke Scott's 6th inning fly out, it's very possible that Pavano could have escaped the 6th with at most a run allowed instead of three.

On the offensive side, the Twins were unable to do very much against James Shields. He did attempt to go for a complete game shutout, but he was already over 100 (110?) pitches starting the 9th, and was quickly pulled after a Josh Willingham single and Justin Morneau double. Ryan Doumit did get a sacrifice fly (would have been a double if not for Desmond Jennings' wheels) but then Fernando Rodney slammed the door on the Twins.

Studs

Josh Willingham (1 for 2, BB, HBP, extends hitting streak to 15 games), Joe Mauer (2 for 4), Carl Pavano (6 IP, 2 ER, 7 K)

Duds

Twins defense in 6th and 7th innings (3 errors and a couple miscues that didn't get scored as errors), Clete Thomas (0 for 4, 3 K), Danny Valencia (0 for 4, 2 K), Jeff Gray (0.2 IP, 2 BB, WP)

Notes

Yes, I know that Gray escaped without allowing any runs, but he looked awful pitching, as he only threw 11 of his 24 pitches for strikes, and he now has a 2/7 K/BB ratio on the season. His sparkling ERA is a mirage right now. I won't even try to pretend that I'm biased against him right now. I felt he (and Matt Maloney) were terrible waiver claims at the end of the Bill Smith era, and Gray has done little to change my opinion thus far.

Also, Willingham has now gone a full week with only a single hit per game, which means that he has hit .241 (7 for 29) in the second half of his 15 game hitting streak. He is tied with Kirby Puckett for the longest hitting streak to start a season, and he will attempt to be the sole leader tomorrow in the rubber game against the Rays.

Thanks to my girlfriend's older brother* becoming the new captain of his men's softball team, I suddenly have joined a men's softball league. We had our first "practice" Wednesday night and for being one of the newcomers, I think I successfully convinced the regulars that I am a paradox.

* If you remember TheBlackFreighter hanging out around Twinkie Town in the past, this is the same guy.

Exhibits, please:

1. I showed up about half an hour late due to the fact that I could not find the field. To make things worse, I was trekking from Blaine to Eden Prairie, so I was adding time on to the 45 min. I had already spent in the car. I was on the phone with the captain about 4 times, and I still got lost. *facepalm*

2. I immediately ran out to the outfield to shag fly balls during batting practice. First ball hit to me, I looked something like this. Seriously, I knew I had to back up, but I was looking over the wrong shoulder. Then, I turned the wrong way (so I had to backpedal for a couple steps) and by the time I got myself facing the correct direction, the ball fell to the ground about 4 feet from where I was standing.

3. I did catch a lazy fly a couple minutes later, but then I had another one hit over my head. This time I didn't get turned around. However, I wasn't in the right position so I had to reach above and behind my head to catch this fly. It ended up hitting me in the wrist.

4. Now it's my turn to bat. First swing, I one-hop the fence in right-center. Wow, that even surprised me (I hit righthanded, and although I do deliberately try to go to the opposite field, I was amazed that I hit the ball THAT far). Next swing, I pop out to the imaginary first baseman.

5. Finally I get a chance at first base. I consider outfield my best position, but during our infield practice, I snagged an errant throw with a Daric Barton-esque stretch and scoop. Everyone was impressed that I was able to return to an upright position with both groins intact. I make 4 more scoops during infield practice en route to nailing down first base as my position for the first game this season.

6. I wore effin' basketball shoes to a softball practice. I do own baseball cleats, so I have no idea why I did this.

Okay, enough about me. Let's start the more interesting stuff.

• Bobby Valentine sure is out to make a splash in Boston. Seemingly the only way someone could drop a bomb that was anything remotely as damaging as Ozzie Guillen's Fidel Castro quotes was accomplished by Valentine, as he publicly questioned the commitment of Kevin Youkilis. I was surprised by this, as Youk seems like one of the most intense guys on the baseball diamond I have ever seen. Yeah, he's got that goofy stance and that odd bald head + goatee combination, but he wouldn't be someone I'd consider to fail to take the game seriously. Anyway, as usual, we got the ol' "I didn't really mean to say that" backtrack from Valentine after he learned that Youk didn't take too kindly to his words. I don't know, but it'll be interesting to see who lasts longer in his new home between Bobby and Ozzie.
  
• For being a rather hefty individual, Prince Fielder actually looked pretty decent at stealing a base earlier this week. I was shocked to learn that Fielder actually has 17 stolen bases in his career, because that seems like 16 more than he truly should have. Despite the similar body types, he did manage to look more graceful than David Ortiz stealing a base, however. On a related note, if you watch the outfield shot of Ortiz running, he seems faster than you would expect.
• I believe it was the first year of Target Field when we had an extremely young field jumper. That's the euphemism for "moron that decides running on a field during a sporting event is worth being thrown in jail." That time, it was a ~13 year old boy that went on the field, jogged around a bit, then went back into the stands and sat back down in his seat. When I saw this, I accidentally (as I was working at the Twins game that day) audibly said, "You idiot!" as he returned to his seat. Anyway, I think I've now found the new youngest field jumper I've ever seen, and he decided to disrupt a White Sox - Orioles game. Well, I suppose that if I was going to inject a little excitement into a game, the one that would need it most might be White Sox - Orioles. I keed, I keed... sort of.
• Finally, Jamie Moyer accomplished something absurd when he became the oldest pitcher to win a game on Tuesday. No, it wasn't that he became the first octogenarian to win a baseball game. Rather, it was that he failed to throw a single pitch higher than 80 MPH in the game. Now, this isn't normally that surprising because we've been treated to Tim Wakefield for so many years, but it's the fact that Moyer is one of the other 99.9% of pitchers in MLB that doesn't throw a knuckleball. As a result, I feel that I need to carry on what Aaron Gleeman started over at Hardball Talk - who among us can throw harder than Jamie Moyer? I feel ashamed knowing that I played baseball all the way until my senior year of high school, and yet the best I've ever done with a radar gun is 62 MPH, and that was back in my awkward, 110 lb. 9th grade body. Apparently I didn't sacrifice enough virgins to the baseball gods when I was a kid in order to receive the gift of a golden arm.
  

I've got a softball scrimmage later this morning. Let's hope I can hit a ball over an outfielder's head. If I get one over the fence, I may break out in tears.

You know those Starburst commercials where they market the candy as being a contradiction? Yeah, like the one with the Scottish Koreans? Well, that was the Twins offense on Saturday. The Twins equaled the Rangers' 13 hits with 13 of their own (plus 4 walks and a HBP), but they were only able to score 2 runs. It was an offense that had no problem putting people on base, but couldn't drive them in, as evidenced by the team hitting 2 for 16 with RISP.

Nick Blackburn did a solid job through 5 innings, but had to leave in the 6th due to a sore shoulder, and has received the dreaded "day-to-day" tag. Gardy's first choice from the 'pen was lefty Brian Duensing, which was a curious choice considering his struggles against righthanded hitters and the Rangers lineup carrying only two lefties (Josh Hamilton and David Murphy). Not surprisingly, Duensing gave up 2 runs, though those were aided by Jeff Gray.

The Rangers tacked on two more runs in the 9th off Glen Perkins, and although the Twins threatened their former closer Joe Nathan in the 9th with 2 runners in scoring position with nobody out, their trend of failing to get the clutch hit continued one last time.

Oh, and Clete "Look at my super-cool hick-sounding middle name because I hate my first name Michael" Thomas joins the team, and Ben Revere gets sent down to Triple-A.

Studs

Denard Span (3 hits, 2 2B), Josh Willingham (2 for 3, 2 BB, 2B)

Duds

Brian Duensing, Jeff Gray, Glen Perkins, and Alex Burnett (combined 3 2/3 IP, 6 H, 4 R), Ryan Doumit, Justin Morneau, Chris Parmelee, and Jamey Carroll (combined 3 for 17, twenty men left on base)

The Twins started the season 0-4, and we can see that quite a few people jumped off the preseason bandwagon immediately.

This after 2.5% of the season. Wanna know what equals 2.5% of an NFL season? Getting past the halfway mark of the 2nd quarter of your team's first game, but that's okay. Your lack of faith means more leg room for me in the stands come August.

• When Robert Andino joined the Baltimore Orioles, he was probably on top of the world. I'm not sure why, but he must have had some fond memories after his first season as an O. However, years of losing have taken their toll on him, as his boyish grin has been replaced by the stoniest of stone-faces. Robert, keep your chin up. The sun will come out tomorrow... and by tomorrow, I mean a time where it's possible for Dom Cobb to perform inception on John Henry and the Steinbrenners, convincing all parties involved that it would be best to dissolve the Yankees and Red Sox franchises. In other words, never.
  
• I don't know about you, but I have been paying close attention to the news involving Brian Stow, the Giants fan that was brutally attacked at Dodger Stadium last year. Stow has been slowly recovering and it sounds like he was invited to be at the Giants home opener yesterday to take part in the first pitch, but did not attend, likely due to his health. Instead, his 13-year old son was there in his place, but Stow still made an appearance. I'll admit that I got a little misty-eyed when Stow wished his son good luck with the first pitch.
  
• Hidden-ball tricks always seem to be the stuff of legends, but the Philadelphia Phillies pulled it off against the New York Mets in their match-up yesterday. R.A. Dickey was attempting to sacrifice bunt catcher Josh Thole over to 2nd base and did so successfully. That is, until the Phillies decided to tell Thole that Dickey bunted the ball foul, which is when the real fun begins. Thole starts meandering back to 1st base, which then the Phillies chase him back and eventually tag him out. Here's a clue that your hidden-ball trick worked: Obviously if you fool the hitter, but like a good play-action in football, it worked like a charm if even the person working the camera doesn't even know the whereabouts of the ball. The kicker is that Jim Thome started this tomfoolery. Too bad it cost him three vertebrae.
  
• The Cleveland Indians agreed to sign OF/DH Johnny Damon to a one-year deal earlier this week. Damon will start the season in the minor leagues, and then his one-year contract will officially kick in when he's called up to the majors. I wonder if righthanded hitters are deliberately avoiding the Indians or vice-versa, because the most dangerous righty in their lineup is Shelley effing Duncan.
• Finally, you decide which of these is the worst to see. Is it the Texas Rangers fan that has the invisible Conan O'Brien strings attached to her lips, or is it the creepy crawly fire ants that actually caused a college baseball game to be suspended? My vote: The woman, because the human face should not be capable of performing that kind of trick. Then again, my eyes shouldn't be able to do this, either.
  

For those of you that remember, I work at Target Field as an usher during the season. Today is my first game I'll be working this season. If you happen to be at the game, I can be found in Section 238 below the smaller scoreboard in right field. Let's see the Twins give Yu a rude welcome to Minnesota.

It has to turn around at some point, right? For the second day in a row, the Twins looked lifeless against the Orioles as they lost 8-2 on Saturday night.

Francisco Liriano started the game very well as he struck out the side in the bottom of the 1st, but then everything fell apart after that. Adam Jones took him deep to make it 1-0 in the 2nd, then the O's tacked on two more runs in the 3rd with the aid of a Josh Willingham "fielding" error. I put "fielding" in quotes because Willingham didn't even touch the ball, but still, he turned a routine single to left into a two-base hit and a run scored for the Orioles. Liriano would be knocked out after 4 innings, allowing 6 runs and 8 hits.

On the offensive side, the Twins put together a few threats but couldn't push across a run until it was too late. In the top of the 2nd, they had runners at 1st and 3rd with 2 outs but Alexi Casilla tapped out to the catcher. There were runners at 1st and 2nd in the 4th with nobody out, but Chris Parmelee fouled out and Danny Valencia grounded into a double play to end the threat.

It took until the 8th inning for the Twins to finally score against O's starter Tommy Hunter, and even then, their runs were scored on consecutive force outs. After they got their two runs, the Twins tried building another rally that same inning, but Willingham struck out looking with two runners on base.

Liam Hendriks apparently has the stomach flu or food poisoning or something that would look awful on TV, so Anthony Swarzak gets the start Sunday. I also heard that it's very likely that Ryan Doumit will be catching.

Studs

Justin Morneau (2 for 4, 2B)

Duds

Josh Willingham (2 K, 2 fielding errors), Danny Valencia (0 for 4, 4 LOB), Francisco Liriano (4 IP, 8 H, 6 R), Jared Burton (1 IP, 2 HR)

First Pitch: 6:05 pm CDT
TV: FSN
Radio: Twins Radio Network
Know Thine Enemy: Camden Chat

(Bonus! Out-of-staters can watch tonight's game for free on MLB.tv)

It never fails. Just one game into the season, Gardy's looking to get playing time for everyone, which means that Ben Revere makes the start and Ryan Doumit is on the bench. At least this likely means that Doumit is the primary lefthanded pinch-hitter tonight, instead of Sean Burroughs. Oh, and Revere's in right field, so watch the Orioles go first-to-third at will.

The Orioles have an interesting lineup themselves, in that Nick Johnson is playing first base and Ronny Paulino (their backup catcher) is their DH. I suppose either Buck Showalter is pulling a Gardy in letting Johnson get an early start as well, or he just feels that Johnson will be the lesser evil versus a lefty, compared to Chris Davis (both lefthanded hitters).

Twins

1. Denard Span, CF
2. Jamey Carroll, SS
3. Joe Mauer, C
4. Justin Morneau, 1B
5. Josh Willingham, LF
6. Chris Parmelee, 1B
7. Danny Valencia, 3B
8. Ben Revere, RF
9. Alexi Casilla, 2B

SP Francisco Liriano

Orioles

1. Nolan Reimold, LF
2. J.J. Hardy, SS
3. Nick Markakis, RF
4. Adam Jones, CF
5. Matt Wieters, C
6. Mark Reynolds, 3B
7. Nick Johnson, 1B
8. Ronny Paulino, DH
9. Robert Andino, 2B

SP Tommy Hunter

Remember people, strikeouts are the San Francisco treat.

Ladies and gentlemen, baseball is finally upon us. While the dormant offense yesterday wasn't very encouraging, I'm still excited for this season. Plus, Josh Willingham getting that first home run out of the way likely will aid our fellow Twins fans in getting over the loss of Michael Cuddyer.

Today is a jam-packed Breakfast and Baseball post, so I hope you don't have anywhere to go in the early hours of the day.

• Let's get our depressing news out of the way first. The new Miami Marlins stadium looks awful. Just absolutely awful. In my latest blog post (that link above), I said it feels like Jeffrey Loria brought back "Turn Ahead The Clock," and it's just as awful as it was over a decade ago. Also, this appearance by Muhammed Ali didn't make things any better. I didn't even watch that live, but the video from Deadspin just makes me feel miserable. Ali doesn't even seem aware of his surroundings, while Loria has that stupid grin on his face with his arm around Ali. Do they acknowledge one of the greatest boxers in history, or do they call for the team doctor?
• Don't worry, Deadspin will cheer you right back up. Somehow, ESPN managed to catch Cardinals shortstop Rafael Furcal with his pants down. Don't worry, this isn't a Visanthe Shiancoe/locker room-type situation, as Furcal at least had his sliding shorts still on. Moral of the story: The tunnel between the dugout and clubhouse, like the area around first base, is not a safe place to fix your drawers.
• Sorry, last Deadspin link. They've been doing a scouting report of sorts on all major league umpires, and I've found it to be absolutely fascinating. Plus, they've included a .gif for each ump, showing his particular Strike 3 call (Hey, a strikeout looking for Scott Diamond!). Like the wild variations of batting stances and pitching windups, I'm a sucker for these types of things. One complaint I do have is each umpire's supposed K/9 and BB/9 rates. Every ump profiled thus far has had a K/9 over 10 and a BB/9 over 5, which seems absurdly high in both cases. If there's one thing to take a grain of salt over, it's this.
  
• Is this racism in its finest? Torii Hunter caused some cops to pull out their guns when Hunter accidentally set off the burglar alarm at his house, and the officers didn't believe that Hunter was the actual homeowner. He had to march upstairs at "gunpoint" to get his ID to prove that he was indeed Torii Hunter. I have the quotation marks there, because Hunter later clarified that the cops' guns were pointed downward, as in a "precautionary, but we still don't fully trust you" sort of way. Hunter later said that the police were just doing their job, and he was not upset over the matter, so chill out, folks. According to Hunter, there was no racism here. However, we should keep an eye on this. Knowing his track record, Hunter will be claiming in no time that SWAT teams forced their way into his house and tortured him until he spilled our country's nuclear launch codes.
• Add one to the "Weirdest injuries of all-time" list when Rockies pitcher Josh Outman suffered an oblique injury from vomiting. Definitely in the same vein as when Sammy Sosa hurt his back sneezing, (or in my case, having back spasms from trying to pick up a <10 lb. bag) but Outman's is the more ridiculous one. There's even a kicker, as the vomiting was induced by a bad plate of Denny's food. Upon learning this, people just could not stop themselves from making this joke (punchline from Craig Calcaterra, pic from myself). If you're unsure of what's going on here, I recommend this.

• Finally, if you remember from a while back, FanGraphs was crowdsourcing the TV broadcast teams from around Major League Baseball. The Twins ended up in the top half of the 31 teams (Dodgers have two), must to my surprise. Well, this time around, FanGraphs is doing the radio teams, and coincidentally the Twins came up yesterday. You may first believe they are asking us to rate newbie Cory Provus already, but they're actually asking for us to share our thoughts on recently retired play-by-play man John Gordon, along with Dan Gladden. My take was that I loved Gordon's voice, but his absentmindedness became a problem. Gladden is just a hindrance. Head on over and tell Carson Cistulli what you think of these two men.

Congratulations, everyone. We made it through the "cold" winter and baseball is finally back in session. Catch me later on today as we see if the Twins can notch their first victory of 2012. By the way, if you have some suggestions of what you'd like to see from me for these Breakfast and Baseball posts, feel free to leave your opinion down in the comments suggestion. Just be a little gentler than this person, please.

If plenty of runs sounds like a recurring theme, it's because it is. The Twins have been averaging nearly 8 runs per game over the past two weeks, and they doubled that average in a 15-3 thrashing of the Pittsburgh Pirates this afternoon.

The second inning provided more than enough runs for the Twins, as they sent 11 men to the plate as they took a 6-0 lead. Justin Morneau notched a single and RBI double in the inning alone, and actually the Twins piranha'd their way through the second as they had only one extra base hit in their 11 plate appearances - Morneau's RBI double as the 10th hitter in the half-inning.

The third inning was similar and different all at the same time. The Twins added 4 more runs against Pirates starter Kevin Correia, but this time they turned the power on. Ryan Doumit led off with a home run, and doubles by Danny Valencia and Trevor Plouffe kept the offense going.

Twins starter Anthony Swarzak was great today, as he went 6 innings with 6 strikeouts and only one run allowed. That lone run came in his last inning on a sacrifice fly by Josh Harrison brought in Pirates minor leaguer Anthony Norman, who had tripled leading off the inning.

A whole bunch of bolded things are after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

While I'm pleased to see that Drew Butera is no longer in the running to be the Twins' third catcher, neither is J.R. Towles. Same goes for all the Dark Horses (Rene Rivera, Chris Herrmann, even the limestone backstop). Thus, the Battle for Squatter's Rights is no more. Just like watching TV with your trigger-happy father who can't stay on the same channel for more than a couple minutes, nobody wins.

Just about everything is set for the roster, except for the backup infielder (will Sean Burroughs make the team?), one bullpen spot (who joins Jared Burton and Matt Maloney? Sure won't be Kyle Waldrop now), and maybe, just maybe the rotation will be shaken up (will Scott Baker and Jason Marquis be ready for the season?).

First pitch is 12:05 CT. Anthony Swarzak, one of the pitchers now looking to benefit from Marquis and Baker's uncertainty of making the staff, gets the start today. Lineups will be posted if I get them before I leave for golfing.

Twins

Span CF

Plouffe 2B

Mauer C

Morneau DH

Willingham LF

Doumit RF

Valencia 3B

Parmelee 1B

Dozier SS

Swarzak RHP.

For those of you that didn't know, I just completed my first week of teaching. No more cooperating teachers, an actual paycheck... I made the jump midseason and I'm finally in the big leagues. The analysis of myself comes out as saying that I'm doing a solid job, with a few errors and mental mistakes, but I'm improving and Coach already told me that I'm here to stay for the rest of the season. I guess that makes me a September call-up on the 2011 Twins.

• Please click these two links one after the other. Drew Butera was sent to Triple-A earlier today, with appropriate music attached. I must admit that if Butera wasn't going to make the 2012 Opening Day roster, I assumed that it was going to be in lieu of J.R. Towles. However, it's now apparent that the Twins will only go with two catchers (Joe Mauer and Ryan Doumit) to start the season. With Butera and Tsuyoshi Nishioka being cut in spring training, the Twins are showing that you've got to earn your spot on the roster this year.
  
• Speaking of earning a spot on the roster, Chris Parmelee sure did that this spring. His work has caused a whole avalanche of personnel changes. He could be starting at first base, which pushes Justin Morneau to DH, which pushes Ryan Doumit into even more of a super-utility role than he was originally going to have. You could possibly also argue that it put Josh Willingham back to left field because Doumit and Trevor Plouffe are now in right field (Doumit has played only 1 game in left field in his career, and that was earlier this spring). Oh, and it put Ben Revere on the bench. All of this because of the September and spring training Parmelee has had. Hey, isn't this how Jose Bautista got started a couple years ago?
• Congratulations to Jamie Moyer, who earned a spot in the Colorado Rockies starting rotation. Originally signed to a minor league contract, Moyer signed in possibly the worst place for a pitcher (depends on how you feel about the Rangers), but he put together a strong showing this spring. Even though his "fastball" is in the low-80s, it disappoints me that an octogenarian a 49-year old man like himself still throws about 20 MPH harder than me.
  
• You may have missed it, but the regular season has already started. Oakland and Seattle had a two-game series over in Japan earlier this week, with each team winning a game. Cuban import Yoenis Cespedes put his good and bad on full display, as he went 2 for 6 with a double and home run, but also with 3 strikeouts. Also, it looks like FanGraphs believes he's a machine.
• Finally, we often like to curse Japan, but much like Ninja Warrior and sushi doused in wasabi, good things do come from there as well. Today's instance is a commercial from the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks, which dare I say, is the best commercial I have seen thus far this spring. Yes, that includes the Seattle Mariners commercials.

My brother's spring break starts today and we have plans to go golfing with our dad. Please keep your giggles to a minimum while I tee off from the junior tee box.

And this one was definitely a laugher. The Twins just kept their foot on the gas pedal all day, highlighted by a 7-run 4th inning. 10 of their 18 hits went for extra bases, including five home runs. The Rays would have raised a white flag sometime after the 6th inning, but alas, all their white flags had been replaced with Super Sam Fuld capes.

Rays starter Jeremy Hellickson did not look good at all today, as he served up 10 runs on 11 hits, with three of those being home runs, all coming in only 3 innings. Two homers came from Justin Morneau, who had been struggling all spring. J.R. Towles, Luke Hughes, and Chris Parmelee also knocked out a bomb in the game. Morneau's first homer gave the Twins a 2-0 lead, and they would lap the Rays about 4 times on their way to the victory.

Jeff Gray was pressed into action as the starting pitcher when original starter Jason Marquis had a family matter to attend to and Gray was decent in two innings. He allowed two runs in his second inning, but you have say that he did a good job limiting the damage considering the Rays started that inning with a HBP, walk, and single.

The Battle For Squatter's Rights, a.k.a. The Third Catcher Race (players ordered by their chances of winning, in my opinion)

J.R. Towles - 2 for 3, BB, 2B, HR, 2 RBI

Drew Butera - 1 for 1, 1B

Today's Dark Horse, Rene Rivera - 0 for 2, BB, K

I think that Towles' big day puts him back into the lead, as it showed the Twins that he actually has a shot of providing some offense during the season. However, Towles had been riding a fairly big cold streak coming into this game. What's interesting though is that Rivera is leading these three in batting average (.308, compared to Towles' and Butera's .267).

Studs

Where to start? *deep breath* Jamey Carroll (3 for 4, RBI), Joe Mauer (2 for 4), Justin Morneau (2 for 2, BB, 2 HR, 5 RBI), J.R. Towles (see above), Luke Hughes (5 for 5, 2 2B, HR, 5 RBI), Matt Maloney (2 IP, 0 R, 0 H, 1 K)

Duds

It's rough to say there was a dud in a 19-4 victory, but still.... Joe Benson (0 for 3, 2 K).

(Danny Valencia was also 0 for 3, but he avoids the Duds list as he did draw 2 walks).

Step right up, folks, and behold the eighth wonder of the world! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll be amazed as you will be the first ever to witness... robot vs. baseball!

Just so you know, today's game starts at 2:05 pm, NOT 12:05 pm.

Twins

Denard Span, CF
Jamey Carroll, SS
Joe Mauer, 1B
Justin Morneau, DH
Josh Willingham, LF (!)
Danny Valencia, 3B
Chris Parmelee, RF (!)
J.R. Towles, C
Luke Hughes, 2B

SP Jeff Gray

Other hitters that may tommy-hawk a pitch or two today: Rene Rivera, Ryan Doumit, Trevor Plouffe, Ben Revere, Brian Dinkelman, Sean Burroughs, Joe Benson, Alexi Casilla

Other pitchers that look to create a good downward plane: Matt Capps, Casey Fien, Matt Maloney, Glen Perkins, Brendan Wise, Alex Burnett

Notes and things (and maybe the Rays lineup if I find it) after the jump.

Continue reading this post »

We are now less than two weeks away from our first official 2012 regular season Twins game and there are still places on the roster to be won. There are three bullpen spots, a bench spot or two, and even possible a rotation spot up for grabs right now. Let's hope Sean Burroughs, Michael Hollimon, Jared Burton, Jeff Manship, etc. keep us entertained and don't go belly-up in these last days of camp.

On to more notes from the Twins and around the league.

• Ow ow ow. Ouch. Oh God. *looks at ankle, rotates it, shudders* If you haven't figured out why I've started this bullet point like this, it's because Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain just suffered one of the most grisly injuries a person could ever have. He was at a trampoline park with his 5-year old son when he landed funny (I'm assuming) and suffered an open dislocation of his ankle (not funny). Translation: Bone sticking out of leg. While I did have a few "Why did he think that Joba + trampoline = no risk at all" thoughts and jokes going through my head, I've sobered up and realized how serious this could be. For one, he will miss a second consecutive season (he missed last year from Tommy John surgery) and his career is in jeopardy. Second, as already mentioned, his 5-year old son was present. This may be the most traumatic thing Karter Chamberlain will ever see in his life.
• To lighten the mood, we herp derp with Jeff Karstens. Exhibit A and Exhibit B.
• Some bad news in Kansas City, as closer Joakim Soria will need Tommy John surgery, just like 33% of all other pitchers in MLB. Soria came out of nowhere to become a luxury the Royals never really needed, as he was a dominant closer on a whole bunch of basement-dwelling teams. His absence means the Royals will be tasked with the ol' proven closer vs. young guy decision, as former closer Jonathan Broxton and young'un Greg Holland are the top two choices to become the new anchor in the 'pen. Additionally, Aaron Crow will no longer continue his transition from a reliever to a starting pitcher.
• Watch out people, Adam Dunn may have just woken up from his one year slumber. It may have something to do with this.
  
• Lance Berkman must of had a little Luke Scott in him* when he decided to announce that MLB commissioner Bud Selig "extorted" an agreement from new Houston Astros owner Jim Crane to move the team into the American League. This is rather interesting, as MLB offered to take off $65 million of Jim Crane's purchase payment to former Astros owner Drayton McLane ($615 million, down from the original $680 million) as a thank-you to switching to the AL, so unless that discount was a bribe, I don't see how anyone was extorted here. With Berkman having played 12 seasons for the Astros, I feel he was a little upset about his former home being moved into the other league. It certainly doesn't help either that Berkman has shown a distaste for the designated hitter rule, which probably has something to do with his unhappiness over the future move. Having fourteen teams use the DH rule is already too many, man!
  

* That is not an euphemism, you perverts.

• Finally, this is one of the coolest things I've ever found. It's Diamondbacks prospect Trevor Bauer showing off his arsenal of pitches and his wind-up in slow motion. His reverse slider is pretty interesting, which makes me wonder: Is it just a fast screwball he's throwing?

In honor of Trevor Bauer throwing everything, including the kitchen sink at hitters, I'm going to try to master the stopball from Maniac Magee, a pitch that appeared to slow down and stop in midair as it came to home plate. Don't you dare crush my dreams by telling me it's just a glorified change-up.

No Gardy. No Ozzie. But the game still had some excitement, especially late in the game, as the Twins beat the Marlins 5-2.

Danny Valencia kicked off the scoring in the top of the 1st when he homered to left field off of Miami starter Ricky Nolasco. That was Valencia's team-leading 3rd homer this spring. It would stay this way until the bottom of the 5th inning, when Twins starter Carl Pavano allowed a 2-run homer to Hanley "I won't move for Jose Reyes / I don't care if I have to move / I never had a problem with Jose / We're the best of friends now" Ramirez. Pavano only allowed those two runs over 4 2/3 innings, with an uncharacteristic 3 walks.

The two teams would have another scoreless drought until the Twins tied up the game in the top of the 8th. Pedro Florimon led off with a double, and Aaron Bates immediately followed with an RBI single. Then in the top of the 9th, the Twins scored three times, with the winning run coming from an RBI single by Brian Dozier.

The Battle for Squatter's Rights, a.k.a. The Third Catcher Race (Players ordered by chances of winning, in my opinion)

Drew Butera - Did not play. Slacker.

J.R. Towles - 0 for 3, left 4 men on base. His batting average is down to .222, which is why I've returned him below Butera.

Today's Dark Horse, Danny Lehmann - 0 for 2 with a whopping 5 men left on base

Studs

Danny Valencia (2 for 3, HR), Pedro Florimon (2 for 2, 2B, 2 R), Aaron Bates (2 for 2, RBI), Mike Hollimon (4 for 4, BB), Ben Revere (3 for 4, SB), Matt Maloney (2 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 3 K)

Duds

Chris Parmelee, Luke Hughes, J.R. Towles (all 0 for 3), Danny Lehmann (see above, and because leaving 5 men on base in only 2 AB is awful)

If there are no green jerseys in this game, I'm going to be very disappointed. Well, I suppose the game isn't on TV, so it won't really matter even if there are green jerseys involved today. But I will know. Oh yes, I will know. First pitch is at 12:05 pm, by the way.

Lineups will be posted when they are discovered. Marlins have a split squad today, but they're home against the Twins, so perhaps some of their stars (Jose Reyes, Hanley Ramirez) will be in the lineup today.

Update: I was totally right!

Twins

1. Denard Span, CF
2. Tsuyoshi Nishioka, SS
3. Danny Valencia, 3B
4. Chris Parmelee, 1B
5. Ryan Doumit, RF
6. Luke Hughes, DH
7. Mike Hollimon, 2B
8. J.R. Towles, C
9. Ben Revere, LF

SP Carl Pavano

Marlins

1. Jose Reyes, SS
2. Omar Infante, 2B
3. Hanley Ramirez, 3B
4. Terry Tiffee, 1B
5. Austin Kearns, RF
6. Chris Coghlan, LF
7. Aaron Rowand, CF
8. Brett Hayes, C
9. Ricky Nolasco, SP