Happy Thanksgiving Mofo's!  Well, it has been chosen. This is what you have all been waiting for.  The Answer Glider has been officially named.  There were some great submittals.  There were your historic Blues names like Plager, Oshie and the like.  Then we had some cute ones like Twig, Sprig and Fud. We had some more of the obscure like Pube, Anal Fissure and Butt Lip. Then we had the arrival.  It was like a Phoenix rising in Hazelwood to greet me.

On the morning of Monday, November 22 Answer Dog 2.0 and I had just returned from our morning 6k. It was a windy and refreshing morning.  It was a casual yet perfectly exhausting run. As I finished my breakfast consisting of an egg beater omelet, oatmeal and fruit cup, I opened my gmail account and there it was.  Sent in by the newest honorary Answer Man Crew (AMC) member Jeremy Guyton of Edwardsville, IL.

JG you are a glorious and creative bastard. You have now won the opportunity to join the AMC for a Blues home game in the Answer Basement. As you may or are about to painfully find out, we watch the games in the basement and with shirts off.  Way off.  We have push up and pull up contests.  We chest bump after EVERY Blues goal.  Not just some, but EVERY Blues goal.  If you drink while watching the game, that’s cool but there’s no way you drive home.  You can sleep in the lower bunk. You will also be interviewed for a future Answer Man column for GT printed edition.

So Nation, the winning name for the Answer Glide is officially….El Debarge.  Boo and fucking yeah! Not sure if you all knew this but El Debarge is Spanish for "The Debarge".  What makes this even sweeter is that Sugar Gliders are nocturnal.  Now for those of you in SoCo who has someone reading this to them, nocturnal means that the animal is up during the night time hours and sleeps during the day. El Debarge is known for his mad beats on "Rhythm of the Night" while fronting the band Debarge.  Later during his solo career he asked "Who’s Johnny" and we answered.  Oh sweet Lord did we answer as a nation.  Those were the beautiful 80’s and this is now. 

So Answer/GT Nation bow down to the almighty Answer Glider to now be known as El Debarge.  Now the fun begins because I wagered the life of this thing.  You read that correctly, wagered its life.  I bet Phyllis that if the Blues miss the playoffs, she could take El Debarge and determine his fate.  She told me she’d squash it.  The funny part is that El Debarge belongs to Answer Dog 2.0 and no one has ever taken anything away from him.  He’s quite determined (and a Pit Bull mix). She might lose a hand.  I love it.

Thanks to our new friends at Sugar Gliders R Us (www.sugarglidersrus.com) we have a new member of the Answer Family.  You got that right GT/Answer Nation.  The big bad North Co. Bootie Thrillah got Answer Dog 2.0 a sugar glider for his 4^th birthday.  I am in a wrinkle though.  I have no idea what to name this little cutie.  Didn’t want to go with Poozle or Brewer, too cliché.  I also figured it would be a fun early season type activity for us GT Heads.  Like when Stempniak was looking for a really bitchin’ nickname. We need to have a killer name for this thing.

Here’s the deal, I am willing to gamble this little fella’s fate too.  Phyllis (Answer Mom’s BFF and my mortal enemy) can’t stand the thing.  She says it has "crazy eyes" and it is a "devil rat".  Well I think she is a "piece of shit".  I do love the fact it bothers her and it isn’t a rat.  It is a marsupial.  I made a deal with the devil herself over the fate of the little guy (don’t tell Answer Dog 2.0).  I told her we’d get rid of it if the Blues don’t make the playoffs this year.  I am that confident in the team.

So here’s the rub peeps.  In the next week please e-mail your suggestions to STLGTAnswerMan (a)gmail.com and/or hook it up on Twitter at GTAnswerManNoCo with your suggestions.  I will be picking the best name and will announce the winner in one week right here at GT.  The winner will get an automatic bid into the Answer Man Crew (aka AMC), a shirtless chest bump and a claim to fame unfelt by no one else.  So get your creative on and let me know what hell we should name this beauty.  He shall remain nameless for one more week.  I have included some action shots for inspiration (he’s already a Blues fan as you can see).  Go Blues!

I was spending my dinner time with a youth I try to serve as a positive North Co Role Model to and informed her of the new goalie the the Blues traded for.  I told her his name was Jaroslav Halak.  Her response under a furrowed brow was, "THAT is a stupid name.  I am going to call him French Fries."

I loved it.  I say welcome to the Blues "French Fries"

via tenderslounge.files.wordpress.com

I will take the Ham Wallets (my all female street fighting team) up to Chicago and we will beat ASS!  Nothing but Blackhawk ass!

11.    Star in a viral video called "Two Dudes, One Cup"

10.    Go Missionary with Answer Mom’s skank friend Phyllis…bareback

9.      Attend a Cardinal’s game

8.      Not shave his chest and groin

7.      Play goalie

6.      Never rock n’ roll all night or party ever-e-day

5.      Wear Dress "Slacks" without my fanny pack

4.      Work on his "finesse" game

3.      Sign up to only play roller hockey and not just for the cute pants they wear

2.      Pay for  pornography vs. wanking it to the homemade stuff Answer Mom gave him.  Can you say "Awesome 70’s Bush"?

1.  Move to South County

Fucking Cardinals

That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. I have to come clean. The league has officially evolved and I’m on board. For the longest time I was a fan of smash-mouth hockey. It was in your face, it was ruthless and it was what separated it from the rest of pro sports.

As some of you know, me and my main man Bill "The Thrill" attended the Blues vs. Blackhawks game the other night.  These two team are totally different. The difference that night was goaltending. The Thrill and I both came clean with each other as we realized the ‘Hawks are so successful because they are just superior players. Fundamentally, they are better. They are faster and they handle the puck better. They are able to navigate through the smaller areas and think two steps ahead.  Watch them handle the puck. It is crisp and quick and often very deceiving.

If you look at standings, they are just shy of 100 points while our Blues sit in like 10^th place. Is it payroll?  No, not really. Hossa is the big ticket item on the team and seriously, how good is that guy? I couldn’t help but notice how the Blackhawks handle the puck. They reverse the flow to disrupt any pressure they get and then immediately go the other way only to be more successful.

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This kid  must be from South County.  He gets his lunch fed to him every time he fights a Blue.  Has to be a complete dumbass.  Here's the latest example:

Dance floors in our metro/Peoria will never be the same.  The Dancin' One was just sent to Wilkes Barre.  DJ King and his Condo are forever sad now.

via cdn.nhl.com

When he was relieved of his duties, they asked him to pack up his stuff quietly and security would see him out.  Security got wind he was up to no good.  They told him to open his mouth and four pizzas fell out.  They ran some tests.  The pizzas had been in there since the afternoon before.  He said he was saving them for a rainy day.

I was with one of my AMC on the Page Extension we were passed by this car.  Luckily my fellow soldier had a fancy phone with a camera.  It is an older Buick with painted yellow hub caps, Blues magnet/Sticker on passenger side door and a shiny silver Blue Note magnet/sticker on the back left side of the trunk.

I am not here to make fun of this fellow Blues fan.  In fact, I commend him on being so dedicated.  One thing I do want to correct him is his flagrant abuse of safety as it seems he was texting and driving.

I was at Brentwood Target late this morning.  Yeah, I was slumming it.  I was checking out the new Highway 40 (not impressed 367 still rules all) and picking up some frozen fruit for post workout smoothies and then off to Pet's Mart to get Answer Dog 2.0 some food.  

I was in line and low and behold Mrs. Crombeen (or soon-to-be Mrs. Crombeen) queues up behind me.  I know it is her because I sat by her when the Blues played the Islanders last.  I recognize that engagement ring anywhere.  She's an attractive gal who seems very nice.  Our eyes metI gave her "the nod".  It wasn't "THE nod" because most ladies can't hold back and we instantly make out (I'm that good).  A solid nod saying, "Yeah, what's up girl.  I knows you but I won't blow your cover.  It's cool."

Here's her grocery list:

Kashi Frozen Pizza

Archer Farms Soy Milk

Archer Farms Frozen Entres (three of them)

What does this tell you?  Probably not much of a cook with Hubby on the road during the season.  Also, she's not stepping out on him.  She buys a few things that are quick fixes and not too unhealthy.  I'd love to see more fresh food in her diet vs. frozen entres.  The way frozen foods are prepared and handled just isn't too conducive to a healthy diet.

For fresh food, there is a Whole Foods across the street.  I'd go there but I'm straight.

All in all, I like what I saw.  Some relatively healthy choices but definite room for improvement.

via a7.vox.com

I can't remember who posted they were rocking the new "Hatebreed" self titled album in the GDT.  I'd be curious on a few things?

Are you a long time fan?

Seen them live?

Favorite release by the band?

You a metal or HC type of person?

What do you think of this latest release?

That's like getting a used broken rubber for a used pregnancy test.  

via www.matthewoverton.com

Then get your punk ass to Pop's tonight and get in front and go crazy for one of the greatest bands of all time.  Social Fucking Distortion.  Don't be a foo and certainly do be pitied for being said "foo".

I'd gladly welcome that kid.  Looks like Roman is not a fan.  Yeow, bad taste over runneth on his Twitter:

http://twitter.com/RomanP46

Jesus dood

That's right Phruits.  The Answer Man's summer rec. league team has one more game tonight then we make it to the summer finals.  I fully expect to win tonight and next week.  What will the league bestow on us for our league dominance?  Riches?  Notariety?  Nah, probably another sweet lapel pin and the satifaction that we forced our great hockey will on another group of bums.  Finally, I do believe our opponents should line up to suck our dicks.

AM Out.

My Boy, Josh out in Rhode Island just got the bass player spot in the band Slapshot.  If youz have the marbles for Old Tyme Hardcore, this band is for you.  They are original, they are VERY straight edge and don't get in thier way.

Slapshot - Old Time Hardcore (via allroy13)

I wouldn't give these two a-holes the time of day.  They apparently asked for a 12 year deal.  Go fuck yourselves.

Can they score?  Yep.  

Can the get a lot of points in the regular season? Yep

Are they creepy and possibly ghey?  Oh yeah baby.  

Are the jerk offs?  Most likely

Are they Blues material?  Shit, I hope not.

via media.canada.com

Dear Jackass at Stick and Puck,

I do not, reapeat, NOT want to engage you in an sort of conversation. Stick and puck is like the men's room. There is a code here. That code is, don't talk to other dudes or look them in the eye.

Let me explain. We got off to a bad start. It went downhill when you told the first guy out on the ice to put a helmet on. Let me explain further. You actually told the guy, "Hey Cinderella, you need to put a brain bucket on. Yeah, brain bucket.  For your brain, OK?" That basically let me know you are a jackass.

Secondly, when I get out on the ice do not send me a rink long pass to get me to play pass back/one timer fun time with you. Hence me catching the puck on my stick and only sending it half way back down. I should have just launched it into the stands.

I get noticed a lot. I'm very attractive and talented. Stick and puck is for practice and training purposes, not a place to make friends. I let you off the hook and just decided to ignore you. The main reason I chose to ignore you is that I can't be seen next to a guy with roller hockey pants on. I have an image to protect. I was there fine tuning my Answer Game. I have a game tonight and then I'm off to KC for a weekend tournament where I plan to dominate the other team and make them feel shame.

From here on out, go make friends somewhere else and never use the term "brain bucket" unless you would like to retain your jackassiness. Take off your roller pants at the ICE rink. Unless you are looking to hook up with another dude.  

Loser

-AM-

P.S.  I hate you.