SB Nation User Blog: Axion

Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman will be the keynote speaker at a Veterans Day ceremony aboard the...

Axion — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:14:45 -0000

Padres broadcaster Jerry Coleman will be the keynote speaker at a Veterans Day ceremony aboard the USS Midway Museum in San Diego on Wednesday.

What ~~Did~~ Will Jerry Coleman Do Today?

The Bacathlon, via Road to Nathan's H/T matto619

Axion — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:28:51 -0000

The Bacathlon, via Road to Nathan's
H/T matto619

Fans Bullish on Growth of Bull Riding

Axion — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:31:49 -0000

Fans Bullish on Growth of Bull Riding

"You're basically putting yourself on an animal that you've got no control over and he's the boss for eight seconds or a little longer"

Adam and Ben talk Survivor, treadmills, Samoan women, coconut crabs, and prohibition. Adam...

Axion — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:27:23 -0000

Adam and Ben talk Survivor, treadmills, Samoan women, coconut crabs, and prohibition.

Adam Carolla and Ben Browning (from Survivor Samoa) - 40:09 (direct link)

Kevin Kouzmanoff signing autographs & taking pictures tomorrow noon - 1 p.m. @ American Icon...

Axion — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:57:08 -0000

Kevin Kouzmanoff signing autographs & taking pictures tomorrow noon - 1 p.m. @ American Icon Autographs! 11305 Rancho Bernardo Rd. #109.

@XX1090 on twitter

Survivor 19: Samallhellbreaksloosoa - Week 8

Axion — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:02:54 -0000

Previously on ... UNCOMMON SURVIVOR; The Bros Before Hoes Alliance was born and elected the puppet government of the Shambo party to leadership, and before you can say, "cat fight," Laura is on the outs. That's small potatoes compared to Foa Foa's problems, as they are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. They lose every challenge and have only four people left. It's the Merge, where the show finally starts and we will meet the rest of the Survivors who aren't named Russell. I keep wondering how many Bretts there are going to be. The Foa Foa Four need to come into the Merge strong to make up for the fact that there's eight Galu left. Will Evil Russell hypnotize them all? Will Shambo accidentally set the camp on fire before he can do it? Will anyone die for fourteen seconds? Get hyped!

Morning 19 at Galu starts with Laura picking a fight with Shambo over a canteen that turns into Shambo not understanding 90210. Is this the third time we've heard her tell us how she hates cheerleaders and the popular girls in high school?

Foa Foa gets their tree mail and they are begging for a merge. Evil Russell has to dig up his secret immunity idol because he thinks they may not be coming back. Why does he have to keep being right?

Both tribes arrive at a chest on a beach, and Jeff isn't there. They open the chest to find some snazzy new blue buffs and are told to go back to Galu for a feast. Everyone is laughing, having a good time, while the Foa Foa Four go to work. Jaison lawyers up to the Rocket Scientist. Danger Dave falls for Natalie's charming blonde hair and breasts, and Monica feeds Evil Russell grapes. Oh, Mick was there, too. I'm sure he did things.

Day 19 "Merged Tribe" - They name themselves Aiga, which means, "extended family" in Samoan. Erik is cocky as hell, thinking he's secure with his numbers, his alliance, and his idol. Yeah, he deserves his eventual blindside.

Evil Russell begins to play hard and fast, just like Day 1, except this time he can make promises with the idol. He tries to negotiate with Laura first, and that doesn't work out, which enrages him. I'm enraged with her, too. She's on the outs with Shambo, and more importantly, the Bros Before Hoes Alliance, putting her in jeopardy even with the majority. And now she's crossed him, too. Way to go, idiot.

Evil Russell's next play is Monica and she is nodding, but her eyes say no. After that he goes to Rocket Scientist John, who is very proud that he came to him to show him. Sucker. John also perceives the threat in the Laura-Monica twosome.

It's Shambo's turn to get man-handled by Russell, and he, almost as precisely as Jeff would, asks her if she's worried about Laura. The question sparks a fire in her, presenting a perfect angle to exploit. He didn't even have to show her the idol and she gave him what he wanted. My god. She, "trusts him implicitly" because they're both southern cloth, and just like that, the winds of change are upon Galu and the plan to vote out Laura trickles down.

First individual immunity challenge time! Jeff is wearing a mint shirt. I think it's mint. The challenge is tee ball! Hit the ball into various sections, score however many points are in that section. But, oh wait, there's two immunities; one for the women, and one for the men.

The challenge starts with Danger Dave creeping everyone out, he scores 3. Jaison steps up and hits it out of the course. Evil Russell hits into the 4, taking the lead. "Brett" hits it out of the course. Mick scores a forgettable 2. Erik calls his shot for the 10 and hits it out of the course. Jackass. Rocket Scientist John steps into the box and pokes it into the corner of the 5, winning individual immunity on the last shot.

Women's turn! Natalie hits out of the course. Monica, a lefty, scores a 2. Kelly scores a 3. Shambo fouls out, pathetic. Laura steps in and hits to the 4, winning individual immunity on the final round, too. Damn it all! I should have expected a Shambo plan to collapse, though.

Back at camp, it looks pretty bleak for the Foa Foa Four. Evil Russell wants to take out Monica now, but Shambo tells him Erik and Laura are going to decide who is out. Laura tells Erik about Russell's idol, so he thinks about switching to Jaison. But Rocket Scientist John, Rocket Scientist that he is, makes a push with him for getting rid of Monica to weaken Laura even though she won immunity. It appears to have been sold on him. When the plan is broke to Danger Dave, he's nervous.

Erik goes to lay out the plan to Mick, Jaison, and Kelly, a terrible idea. The way he talks to them irks Jaison, and he begins his plans to get rid of Erik. I respect the way Jaison's playing the game, even if it's not the best way to win.

Kelly goes to Laura, who talks to Natalie about voting out Erik, then they go to Monica. The girls go to Dave, who is immediately sold due to Erik's sudden erratic behavior and it becomes Erik, no matter what. Dave goes to explain to Shambo that Erik goes, and she asks who Erik is. Are you kidding me? Rocket Scientist John grabs Kelly out of a conversation in the camp and tells her, "you will not!" and everyone's flipping their lids like a monkey in a soup kitchen. Splendid.

Tribal Council Time! Jeff talks about trust with Monica, and Erik takes his earliest opportunity to belittle the Foa Foa Four. Jaison and Evil Russell shake their heads and he gives him his assessment of their performance so far. Jaison disagrees, citing how much he's overcome. Jeff tells Erik he has to respect the spirit of Foa Foa, but he can barely stop belittling them, warning Russell that if he doesn't fix his strategic alignment in the next few days, something may happen.

And it's votin' time! Evil Russell votes Eric with a smiley face. Jeff goes to tally the votes and Evil Russell plays his hidden idol. There is a twinkle in Erik's eye as part of his plan is hatched. The first two votes to go Jaison, then two go to Erik. Then a third, and the smile is wiped from his face. A fourth shows surprise, a fifth; a scowl. The six vote makes him look around, and the seventh vote eliminates him. A perfect blindside!

via wwwimage.cbs.com

Next time! Evil Russell is without idol and out of friends!

Front Office Mandate: Fashion & Pride

Axion — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:27:56 -0000

The San Diego Padres have mandated through an internal memo that the "SD" insignia is the official brand of the organization, furthermore stating that all Padres employees must visibly wear the "SD" logo somewhere on their person. This is according to infallible beacon of true Padre knowledge of this world and all worlds, Darren Smith, and it applies to all Padre employees, from the front office on down. It's a good move, and for two reasons:

Fashion: Everyone knows the "SD" logo is pretty much the most fashionable accessory around. It has that obscure mystique that is a key component of any cutting edge look. When you see someone wearing the "SD" insignia, you can be certain you won't find any onions tied to their belts.
Pride: Employees should be proud of the company they work for. They also should not be able to escape their shame. Before, they could hide amongst us, spying on us, carefully noting what meals we consume most and how often we yawn between the hours of 4 and 7, but no longer.

This also applies to one Dave Winfield. This man has made numerous public appearances since this mandate, during playoff coverage and on MLB Network, and yet no "SD." Why no insignia, Dave? Your boss said you have to. Aren't you proud to be a Padre, Dave? You're also walking a very fine line, Dave, as you cannot be granted Prison-of-War rights under the Geneva Conventions in the event of your capture. I wouldn't want to find out what happens to the poor soul who is captured by Yankee fans not bound by international treaties.

World's fastest man adopts world's fastest feline

Axion — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:18:03 -0000

World's fastest man adopts world's fastest feline

Survivor 19: Samoudinimagicoa - Week 7

Axion — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:34:11 -0000

Previously on ... UNCOMMON SURVIVOR: Oh, not much. Only one survivor died. Relax, it was just for 14 seconds. It rained and rained and apparently everyone got pizza, just like Little League. But with both tribes thinking they had to vote someone out and the elimination cancelled, each is left with strategic blue balls.

Still night 15 at Galu, on what is, I am fairly certain, the island from LOST, and the men, without protection from their elderly, soft-spoken leader, begin to assess their situation, should there be a vote. By jove, it looks like someone's going to play Survivor soon! They plan to bring Shambo into the fold, and there, in the dead of night, the Bros Before Hoes Alliance is forged.

Day 16 Foa Foa: Jaison awakes with a spring in his step. Everyone seems upbeat that Dread Russell is out and I have no idea why. Over at Galu, the Bros Before Hoes Alliance decides to elect Shambo as the new leader. They have an impromptu Iraqi election and the girls are left wondering what the hell just happened. One of Monica's brain neurons accidentally fires a synapse off, leading to her wondering if she would have been voted off next now that Shambo's stock is apparently running so high. After Danger Dave calls Shambo dim, I can't wait for the chicken to escape on the Bros Before Hoes.

Reward Challenge Time! Oh, gnome huts! Aww, it's just a matching game. The items are survival items; tools and such. Leaders have the option to take items they match back with them to the camp, but they won't score a point, and points are good. The winning tribe sends one of their 'mates away and chooses T-Pain to go on a boat.

Laura scores the first match for Galu, a fire-making kit but keeps it instead of taking the point. Liz reveals mosquito nets for Brett (who?) for Galu to get another match. Rocket Scientist John pairs up the cleavers, Evil Russell pairs up some string to get his team on the board, but Laura matches rope and Galu takes a 3 to 1 lead. Then it goes into hyper mode and the score becomes 6 to 3 with only three matches remaining, Galu leading. Natalie matches up to get them to 4. But Monica, finally finding something she is good at, walks from one gnome hut to another, revealing the final match. Suddenly, roles are reversed and Shambo is the one sending Laura to Foa Foa. Kelly thinks she's acting like some kind of trailer park princess. Foa Foa loses again and all they get is Laura.

Laura greets Foa Foa and my gawd is her voice annoying. Evil Russell pushes all the right buttons and a cross-tribal secret alliance seed is planted. His father's a preacher, she's a theology student, he knows a good Christian when he sees; it's too easy for him.

Galu has their food on the boat. Not much happened. Monica and Shambo had a small moment. I think they'd make a fun couple.

Don't you just hate it when the Spiritual Book of the Month Club convenes behind you when you're trying to make a fire? Liz sure does. Natalie and Laura are chatting it up while Liz is trying to inhale mass amounts of smoke from the fire she's trying to build. The nerve!

Immunity Challenge Time! It's the ol' Swim-Out-to-Get-Some-Puzzle-Pieces-For-Your-Other-Tribemates-to-Assemble challenge. Haven't we seen this one already this season? Did you notice when Jeff says "losers" he looks at Foa Foa? Mick, forgetting he was leader, forgot to bring his necklace, but he covers it up by saying it's bad luck. Bonus points for using tribal superstitions in your excuse.

Foa Foa gets a lead with the boat, and Liz starts snagging puzzle pieces like crazy and they are soon off. Dave tells Shambo to shut up as they snag up their remaining pieces to chase Foa Foa. Galu is able to make up ground water by actually paddling their boat instead of swimming with it. Foa Foa gets back to the beach first, but Jaison is lagging behind. Each tribe fumbles with their puzzle pieces and Liz, looking like the only Foa Foa member with a clue, figures out the pattern. But everyone else hasn't drooled on all puzzle pieces yet and Galu is able to overtake them yet again. Evil Russell tells us they're all idiots and they're going to cost him a million dollars. He even noticed Jaison giving up, which gives him a good edge to get him voted out.

Evil Russell getting stir crazy over wanting to vote out Liz, but being unable to, pleases me. The whole tribe wants an answer to why they're losing, and that answer certainly isn't voting another person out. But it must be done, and Evil Russell is so disgusted by Jaison, he even tells Liz about voting him out. Liz is excited by her new chance now that someone else has stumbled out of favor and Evil Russell is left to decide who he's voting out; the one who performs best in challenges or Trusty Rusty.

The Foa Foa Five arrive alive at Tribal Council. Jeff says there's no need to go over the facts, this is one of the worst tribes in the history of the game. I agree, and he didn't even factor in how they all got played by Evil Russell. And yet they cling to hope, and because they are so few in number, they've bonded. Liz trusts everyone 100%, Mick, too. Evil Russell can't wait to get to the merge to cause more damage. Jeff picks on Jaison for hanging his head, and he takes responsibility for his poor showing in the challenge.

Liz votes for Jaison because she has to, and vice versa. But the next two read Liz and her torch is extinguished. It was the way it had to be.

via wwwimage.cbs.com

Next week? It's the freakin' Merge! Finally, the show starts! And you thought you were having fun when people were suffering from heart failure!

With the highest slideshows per story rate, Dallas Desire beat Los Angeles Temptation in Lingerie...

Axion — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:44:13 -0000

With the highest slideshows per story rate, Dallas Desire beat Los Angeles Temptation in Lingerie Football.