Dear NHL Fans (and the media...even though you ignore us),

Hello! Wow, what a great time to be a hockey fan! The playoffs are upon us, and we've already seen some amazing things so far! Days worth of penalty minutes, some WWE style hits, people getting tossed from games, and oh yeah, some thrilling hockey too!

Recently, the Department of Player Safety has come under attack from the fans and the 5 members of the media that care for a lack of action, or a lack of consistency in some of our disciplinary rulings. To address this matter as the man in charge of player safety, I am publishing this video today to explain some of the intricate inner workings of how our department handles these important issues that face our sport. Hopefully, after you watch this, you will understand, I'm kind of making this up as I go along:

A Message From The Department of Player Safety (via cschalz)

Well, I sincerely hope that sheds some light onto the NHLDPS, and ENJOY THE REST OF THE SPECTACLE THAT IS THE NHL PLAYOFFS!

Yours in discipline and consistency,

Brendan Shanahan

PS. Since I probably won't have a job in this league soon, any email questions should be directed to B.Shanahan@NFL.com. Apparently they will hire anybody!. Thank you.

LATER THAT EVENING

Man, phone has been quiet. Guess the boys got the message after I suspended Shaw.

/PHONE RINGS

Yo, what up, its B-Shan the Ban Man!....what?....Hossa....stretcher you say?.....who the hell is Raffi Torres?.......I better call and let Gary know......of course he isn't watching, have you ever talked to that guy about hockey?......shit, I thought I fixed this stuff.......yeah I'll hit you back after I find out how much Gary wants to fine this Torres guy....laterz!

Here is a vid I did last year. Get well 81.

via www.nymphinainteasy.com

Alright, so here is something stupid I put together for a saturday (in between matches on MW3-xbox name SugarBear1984, if any of you want to shoot me).  A quick little guide for how to appropriately analyze and respond to any game, SCH style.  If you click on the image it should take you to a new window where you can expand it and actually fucking read it.

Pull this sucker out if you ever have any doubts about how to appropriately handle any game.

LETS GO HAWKS!!

Whats up, pantsless internet virtual friends,

This has nothing to do with Hockey (Please don't ban me McClure), but you can help a good cause

As some of you may know, my sister was recently paralyzed.  She went in to have corrective surgery for scoliosis, and came out with a condition that only affects less than 1 percent of all patients worldwide.  Her recovery has been truly inspirational, but she still has a long way to go.  BTW, I appreciate all the well wishes from the SCH community.

My sister has a near psychotic obsession with shoes-and not Gucci or Louie Vuitton, but athletic shoes.  This group apparently made 4 pairs of shoes that will be given to 4 inspirational/creative people.  They light up.  I don't know why she wants these (they are butt ugly), but she wants them like Jonathan Toews wants flawless victories.  Seriously, shes on a mission from god.  It would make her very happy, and honestly, thats my only goal here.

Heres how it works.  Click this link

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcr8rec.com%2Ftheburiedlife%2F%23507&h=dAQAXXfbTAQBcS-V8HceYtA4PKwxy3nbMQBrwQIjOWMFVVg

Click "Like"  for her story (Knschalz).  And thats it.  No money involved or anything.

Anyways, I appreciate you guys playing along

6 and a wake up til HOCKEY

GO HAWKS,

BCS

PS  feel free to pass this along

I'll start simple.  Congratulations, your team showed their teeth tonight, and played a hell of a game.

But more importantly, they closed out what may have been one of the greatest series ever played by two teams in the sport.  When people ask me why I love this game, I will point to this series.   Despite the outcome, these games defined what this sport is.  It's fast,  It's dynamic, it's brutal, and most of all,  unpredictable.  Thank you, because without you, our season would have been an exercise in frustration, punctuated by our inconsistency, and a shortage of optimism.

You brought out the best in us, something that we had waited an entire season to see (btw, thanks for hitting the Norris Switch on Duncs for us, lord knows we have been trying to find that all season as well).

Did you cast out demons tonight?  No.  Did you do something great for the franchise and the sport?   Yes.  Did you cement one of the greatest rivalries in hockey?  ABSOLUTELY.  The talent is there, the skills are abundant, and the confidence in both should have been secured tonight when that puck ended up behind my goaltender.  However, we will be back, singing Chelsea Dagger and finding new and clever ways to make Dave Bolland the most hated man in BC.

My only thought to you as you advance is the same that was offered to us when we were gifted the opportunity to play for a few more weeks by the Wild:  "earn this".

You may have won the President's Trophy, but you still are waiting patiently for a big Silver reward for the 40 years you have had to endure.  Earn it. 

You beat the defending champs

Earn it.

You are the best team in the NHL right now

Enjoy this win, but please,

Earn it, and collect what after this amazing series, should be yours.

Oh, and I still hate Luongo, Burrows, and that douchebag Bieksa like Lindsay Lohan hates rehab...

From Chicago, with (begrudging) love,

BCS

Hello again,

Here's a video.  Took me 8 hours and 2 iMovie crashes, but I hope it is much inspirational.  I went with Lux Aeterna, some of you may remember it from that immensely depressing yet very well done movie "Requiem for a Dream".  I think it's ok, considering I did this without a SINGLE CIGARETTE, which generally is one of the things that helps keep me from going cross eyed when making these.  Actually the more I watch this in it's entirety and not just 3 second segments over and over again, the more I like it.

Off to buy more cigs.  Enjoy.

NHL CHicago Blackhawks 2011 Playoffs Video-Rivalry Renewed (via cschalz)

Thanks to Verstig and everyone else who sent me music ideas, even if I don't use them, I do stockpile those for future projects, so I am always looking for ideas.  Many thanks

via www.gifsoup.com

Thanks for the comments.

No pain, no pain

PS, this may be my only post ever to not include the F-bomb.

What up SCH People,

I cant get the fucking HTML embed to work on my computer for a fanshot, so I apologize, this has to go here.  I figured Jonathan Toews deserved a feature from BCS Studios.  Whipped this up fairly quickly, so it may not be that good.

Jonathan Toews-Where Amazing Happens (via cschalz)

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Boozehounds.

Enjoy the next 12 games of jockeying for position for the playoffs, and sorry for bogarting Fanshot area.

I put this in fanshots, because traffic is slow over here, so don't yell at me.  I am going to do a video that is a history of the Blackhawks.  I thought it would be a good idea to get input from SCH on what should be included, since you all are generally a representation of what I consider to be true fans.  Consider this one a BCS/SCH collaboration.  I was thinking of using the following:

Footage from the early 1930s and '61

Bobby Hull (of course)

Stosh highlights

Savy

Tony O and the rest of the Hall of Famers

Should I include something about the Wirtzs?

BAAAAAAAAANNNNNNERMAAAAAANNN!

JR and Cheli (Its the Chicago Blackhawks, man)

2010 awesomeness 

If you guys have any ideas for specific highlights, please put them in the comments below (detailed description or links, por favor) so I can find them and add them to my Hawks footage stash.

I need ideas for music and anything else you guys can think of, so have at it, Juggalos (to quote McClure).

Also, if you have suggestions for other video themes that you would like to see in the future, I'd be happy to hear those too

Here is what I have for the first 3 or so minutes.  I have no fucking idea where to go from here music wise.

The Chicago Blackhawks-History(intro) (via cschalz)

I've read a bunch of these stories about the Stanley Cup, and I figured I'd share some of them here.  They are pretty hilarious, and honestly after reading them, I'm amazed that the Cup has survived this long.  The Cup has been lost, stolen, dropped, kicked, burned, gone swimming, been featured at strip clubs,  urinated on, and defecated in.  Luckily, with all the booze that is poured on, or in the Cup, it might be the most sterilized trophy in sports (just ask Teemu Selanne, who reportedly drank 12 bottles of scotch out of it with his buddies)

Continue reading this post »

NOTE: As with all these videos, let it load completely before viewing, or your audio and video may go batshit crazy.

OK, fuck this shit, we need some fucking puck, especially since I don't have NHLN yet and have not been able to relive the awesomeness that was the playoffs.  I was going to wait to publish this, but the void needs to be filled.  I tweaked it a little so I could release it sooner than intended, and I know that I need to publish this before I get bored with it, take it all apart, rebuild it,  and fuck it up completely.  

From BigCSouthside Studios here in lovely Dublin Ohio (also known as my living room), here is my newest creation.  Same "style" as my other ones, I figured, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  I tried to limit the air time of guys who were traded, but there were a few I could not pass up (ex. at the end of the video, there is a behind the net shot on Steeg's double drag goal, and you can see the powdered ice blow up off the net when the puck hits, it's my favorite shot in the video)

Thanks to CNS for allowing me to use some of his highlight clips, and also thanks to KtG for "beta testing" this one for me (and no, that is not some sort of sexual innuendo you sick bastards-I'm talking to you specifically, cliff).  Enough of my bullshit, here's the video:

Enjoy it, and lets raise our glasses to hopefully another bad ass season.  Thanks for watching!

VIDEO: NHL, Chicago Blackhawks, TSN, CBC, WGN

MUSIC:  Roll Tide from Crimson Tide, Hans Zimmer

AAAaand it's buy one get one free here at BCS Studios, so here is my take on an intro video, UC scoreboard style:

NHL Chicago Blackhawks Intro Video 2010-11-Hoist the Colors (via cschalz)

Music: Hoist the Colors, The Medallion Calls, and He's a Pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean

Video:  All over the fucking place

PS: Who is comin' drinkin' with me in Columbus.  It'll be fun, we can watch the Hawks bitch slap a JV high school team (Blue Jackets), drink beer, and yell "Rick Nash is a wiener tucker".

A little something to take the mind off of caps/QOs/Offseason/Your mortgage/children/responsibilities.  I was bored, Seriem na vás for judging me.

To be read in your best Slovak accent

 Vážení idioti ktoré hovoria, že som prekliaty (dear assholes who say I am cursed),

On June 9, I win Stanley Cup with awesome team Chicago Blackhawks.  Lots of people say "Hossa is cursed, he no win cup ever".  Well I win cup, so you can "suck on dick" (I hear Burish say this many times to ladies, we say vyfajčiť péro).  You all ask me "Marian, how you feel about curse"  and I say "I am no cursed, you guys are very stupid, I show you in playoff", but you no believe.  I have cup now, and it is very pretty, I will take to Slovakia, put on shiny gray suit and cool white shoes, and get many, how you say, vagíny (pussies) because I win cup, and you, tuku reportér  (fat reporter) from Detroit or ESPN will not, and I will laugh.  HA HA (Kaner says Slovak girls are "bangin", I dont know what this mean, but sounds good).  Áno, mnohí túžia buchty pre mňa, nikto za vás! (Yes, many eager ladies for me, none for you!)  I drink many piva (beers) from Stanley Cup, then fena pohlavak (bitch slap) Tomas Kopecky (I don’t know why he does this to Niemi, so I do it back, Kopecky is bitch, he should know this by now)

I no win in Pittsburgh because I no like penguins.  They are stupid birds that cannot fly.  what kind of bird no fly?  Stupid birds, thats what kind.  Also I think Sidney Crosby is asshole (does he wear lipstick, like kríž prádelník (cross dresser)?).

I no win in Detroit, because I know Detroit is where assholes live, and I dont like assholes, they are bad, and stinky (like detroit).  Detroit smell like jock strap after long game and 2 OTs.  Very bad, I hate Detroit.  Sústa (fuck) Bertuzzi.

I win in Chicago because Chicago is awesome city, and Blackhawks are very awesome team.  So I make video for you hajzlu (fuckers) who no believe I ever win cup (you make very stupid videos about me not winning, it hurt me very much)

Seriem na vás (Fuck You),

-Marian Hossa, Najväčší hokejista (Greatest Hockey Player)

Now here is video:

 (via cschalz)

I hope you like video very much

I go and party at the Disco now with Stanley Cup and many ladies.

ja som Marian Hossa a nie ste, HA HA (I am Marian Hossa and you are not, HA HA).

I got a feeling this one wont be an editors pick

HLASOVANIE!!!! (POLL!!!)

Slovak, Hawkynite! style

NOTE:  You may want to let this load completely before viewing, otherwise the audio and video may lag

Congratulations everyone, 

I cant believe I actually got to write that title, and for that matter make this video.  You guys wanted a sequel, so here it is.  Selecting music for this was a monster pain in the ass (I think I listened to every epic soundtrack out there:  Gladiator, Crimson Tide, LOTR, The Rock, National Treasure, Pirates of the Caribbean, Angels and Demons, Glory, etc etc to name a few) but I think I picked the right ones.  It is set to "Arise" and "Unstoppable" by E.S. Posthumus, who in case you didn't know, specialize in writing writing music so epic, you may accidentally piss yourself (Unstoppable is actually featured in a Hawks scoreboard video, I heard it, and could not resist using it-its in the last minute of the video).  I don't know how this one compares to 4 to go, but I think its a worthy sequel, maybe even like Godfather II is to The Godfather (I wont make a shitty third one starring Andy Garcia and that wretched actress Sofia Coppola, I promise).

A word of warning, this can get LOUD.  I jacked the Macbook into my stereo and cranked it up and it shook the dishes in my kitchen cabinets, so if you value your hearing and don't want to be charged for a noise complaint, be forewarned.

Enjoy, History Has Been Made

EDITED VERSION (cleaned up audio, better quality video, removed black screen cuts, added tag at end, minor video edits)

NHL Blackhawks Stanley Cup Championship Video-History Has Been Made (EDITED) (via cschalz)

Credits:

1961 Highlights/Audio:  WTTW's The Forgotten Championship

Game Highlights:  NBC, VS, NHL Video, CBC

Music:  Arise(edited), Unstoppable(edited), E.S. Posthumus

Added at the suggestion of a few commenters, 4 to go

Now, I'm going to go shave this god damn lumberjack beard I have going here and join the rest of society...

and just for shits, here is a poll (now official fanpost, don't "meeshak" me)

no change to the video, just the title

NOTE: you may want to let this video load fully before playing it, otherwise the video and audio might lag

Sorry I didnt Fanshot this, I know the right rail is getting packed, but I couldnt get it to embed as a Fanshot

 Continuing with my recent tradition/superstition or whatever, I worked up another video for the Stanley Cup Final.  Since this hasn't happened since I was 8, I made this one to encapsulate the Hawks playoff run and some Hawk history.  After sifting through about an hour and a half of Hawks highlights, I came up with about 5 minutes of what I think is gold.  If you have 5 minutes to spare (or want to blow off some time at work), check this out, and I hope you all enjoy it.

Included:  09-10 Pregame intro-Game 2 Nashville-The Comeback Game-The Buff Trick, Kaner making Lu look silly-The 4 Sharks Games, Copious amounts of goals, celebrations, Niemi being a badass-Booby, Stan, Savy, JR etc completely undressing opposition D

A tribute to the Hawks and Second City Hockey,

Heres to hoping we have much more to celebrate, 4 to go...

Video/Music Credits:

Game Highlights:  NHL Video

Historic Highlights: Eleven Minutes of Blackhawks History from TheHockeyCentral

09-10 Intro Video: via Youtube, authorized upload from The Chicago Blackhawks

Music:  Theme from The Terminator (Orchestral version, edited)

Buff asks the question, hope you all answer Yes!

Have a good one,

LETS GO HAWKS!!!!!

EDIT: Cleaned up some audio, synched video a bit better, added a tag at the end because I was bored

Yes, this should show you that I obviously have no life, and since we have so much down time, I needed something to do.  This worked last time, so I figured I would do another video prior to the upcoming WCF.  Its a bit long, but it is a good reminder of what we can do to the Sharks (Im sure you all remember this game, then again, I've seen the way some of us drink, so maybe not).  Sorry, no funny story this time, just the video.  Hope you all enjoy it (its also my first real attempt at  iMovie, so It may not be perfect).  I got this idea after the long string of Jaws quotes that came up in the GDT after we moved on to WCF, so anyone involved with that, thanks for the inspiration (and I made sure to include some Patrick Sharp glory shots, just for you McClure).  

Here it is, a little motivation:  I'm Talkin' About Sharkin'! 

Thanks to chiblackhawks and CNaSshole for helping me learn how to "tactically acquire" youtube clips.  

Have a good one,

LETS GO HAWKS!

I am obviously going into Hawk withdrawl, but, enjoy

Hey Bobby,

Whats up man? It's Kaner.  I havn't talked to you a lot since the Olympics (by the way how friggin' cool was that shit! and all those BABES-which reminds me, I got a story about Lindsey Vonn, you wont believe it.  I wont go into details, but it involves a goalie stick and a midget...ummm...we'll talk about that later, but seriously dude, its crazy).

 I remember you said to me "I'll see you in the playoffs" at the end of the gold medal game.  Well, guess what, WE WILL SEE EACHOTHER (man, you are smart).  Anyways, Buff and I decided we would get together and make a welcome video for you, just so you feel right at home (you remember Buff, right? Well I dont think you ever saw his face, but he was the dude with the big ass who spent a lot of time standing in front of you. You know, number 33.).  Anyways, Enjoy!

Thats pretty awesome right, like a racing striped mullet level of cool (dude you gotta check out my new 'do).  So cool its almost enough to make a guy cry...and that song is just so damn catchy.  I wonder if I can get old man Wirtz to use that when I score, that would be kickin' rad.

Anyways, Buff wanted me to tell you that wasn't really his bare ass in that picture (aren't computers fun?!).  he says he wears boxers, not thongs.  I saw him come into the locker room the other day with 2 crave cases of Jalepeno sliders, a whole pound of cabbage, and like 8 40s of Old English.  When I asked him what he was up to he said "Im cookin up somethin special for Bobby, its gonna be...fragrant".  He's pretty thoughtful, that Buff, and a good cook too.   Just stay away from his "special" brownies, last time I had one there were some funny pictures of me in a limo that I don't remember being taken.

Alright, later on man, see you on the ice!

-Kaner

PS, Burish said that he wanted you to tell your Grandma that those tests came back negative, so she's all good...he said she would know what that means.

BY the way, I gotta credit CNS (asshole) for the inspiration on this one, and thanks to all you crazy bastards (and bastardettes) for being weird enough to think of/appreciate this shit, just my 20 cents of mediocre comedy, hope its not too terrible after two hours of work.   GO HAWKS

Since its a day off, and somehow the other thread went rogue on us, I figured Id start a new thread for us to waste time and talk about Hockey/randomness on.  Im doing this mainly because my 'z' button does not work, and I cant live without it.  SO happy day off

Observations:

-The sun is out....I forgot we had one of those in our solar system

-Im out of beer

-I got a new Fly Rod, and it fucking rocks

-The White Sox havn't figured out that scoring runs win games

-There is literally NOTHING on TV on Saturday unless the Hawks play

Have at it

Excuse the long ass title, its my first time so please be gentle.  I know this has been done before, but if you want to bust my ass for that feel free.   At the suggestion of  gobobbles and in continuation of a few other posts, I figured I would go ahead and attempt to locate all these nicknames/phrases in one place.  I had trouble keeping up with some of these things when I started reading, so as a public service (or because Im fucking bored on a thursday night) here are the ones I know.  If im missing any or I am wrong, or you just want to call me an asshole or something more creative, please comment below.

 Here' goes:

Players/Coaches, A-Z by first name

Adam Burish 37:  Bur, Burwood, Badger (he was Capt. of the '06 UW  Nat'l champs) as suggested by CNS "The Cheese-shire Cat". and apparently according to a sign Burish saw, Granny Fucker

Andrew Ladd 16:  Nails, Laddy, Mad Ladder, Coward/Kesler Bitch Maker (A reference to the "one punch fight" in which Ladd made Kesler his bitch, and the Kesler called Ladd a coward. Unfamiliar? see chiblackhawks "History WIll Be Made" Fanshot ) Mountain (So sayeth the CI)

Antti Niemi 31:  Antti-Goal, Niemisis, The Finnish Fortress, Uncle Nemo/Nemo, Pelican (a reference to his old team in Finland)

Ben Eager 55:  Steakhead, Meathead, Moron, Idiot, Dumbass (Or any other synonym for someone of inferior mental prowess), Eags, Sunshine.  Recently suggested, Earwax (Cliff suggested that Eager's brains leaked out) and Paste Eater.  Also, Sesame Street references (due to CNS's famous fanpost in which he stated that Ben Eager still Tivo's that show) Also "Double Minors on the Dime" (A play on the fact that he gets stupid penalties and the album name Double Nickels on the Dime by Minutemen, a previously undocumented nickname from MattDirt)

Brent Seabrook 7:  Seabs, Biscuit (a reference to Seabiscuit)

Brent Sopel 5: Catfish (I believe in reference to his striking similarity in appearance to the fish of the same name) Caveman, because he fucking looks like one.  Puck Magnet, Sergeant Sopel

Brian Campbell 51: Soupy (like Campbell's soup, get it?), Ginger (note the hair) 51 Phantom (a reference to North Mississippi AllStars, according to my fact checkers)

Bryan Bickell 29: "You talkin' to me?" (A reference to DeNiro's "Travis Bickle" from Taxi Driver)

Colin Fraser 46:  Frazz, Frazzle Rock, Frazzle Dazzle, Frazzle Fro/Fro (Reference to his hair)

Corey Crawford 50:  Crawdaddy, The Crow, Mr. Crowley, Mouseketeer (dunno why, ask kils)

Cristobal Huet 39:  Huey, Frenchie, The Man From France.  Also, commonly referred to by using a string of expletives on SCH

Dave Bolland 36:  Fabulous Weapon, Weapon (a reference to Eagles of Death Metal).  Rat (he's a pest to play against.  Greyhound...dont know why

Duncan Keith 2:  D2K, Jigsaw (reference to character from Saw, because his teammates claim he's kind of psycho scary and methodical) Duncs (or "Dunky" if you are reading Trixie's now famous Days of our Defense).  Teeth, in reference to his goddamn heroism in the WCF, losing 7 teeth and only missing a few shifts.

Dustin Byfuglien 33:  Buff (Because no one wants to have to spell that fucker's name over and over).  Also, Buff Nuggets (Reference to his Rock and Roll McDonald's appearance, and I'm pretty sure that dude gets down on some McNuggets)

Fernando Pisani 15:  The Pope-AH, a reference to his WOPness and a sketch from the TV show The State

Joel Quenneville: Q, Q-Stache, Stache

John Madden 11:  Iron Madden (like the band, which I might add, is rad), Mad Dog

John Scott 32:  Lurch, Murderasaurus, Tree, Treebeard, Little John.  Known as "fluffy" until he actually uses his size to his advantage

John Torchetti: Torch, Franken-Torch (paint that bastard green and throw some bolts in his neck and you get the idea)

Jonathan Toews 19:  Tazer (Ill give you 3 guesses why) Captain, or Captain Marvel (Note the C on his sweater). Captain Serious (because he is one serious motherfucker)

Jordan Hendry 6: Trixie's "son"

Kim Johnsson 8: Dead on Arrival, any variation of penis puns (note CNS's bulleted "Phantom Limb" argument below)

Kris Versteeg 32:  VERSTEEG! (The ! is dropped whenever he goes into moron mode or does not dump the fucking puck), Steeger, Steegs.  Also Verstud ( a joke going back to, I believe Patrick Sharp, saying thats what he calls himself)

Marian Hossa 81:  Panda (was sad panda, a name acquired during the playoffs while he was still serving his time in hell, aka Detroit, now its just Panda (a very rich Panda at that). Dat Horsa Guy (a Canadian/Minnesota style pronunciation of his name, possible referece to his speed as well) Also H-1000, because he is a fucking machine.

Marty Turco 30:  Crimson Dynamo, Turc, sometimes called "sparkle motion" due to his old pads

Nick Leddy 8:  Has been called "rabbit", this is no way in reference to his speed, but since he wears 8, he was called "fake johnsson".  Now a fake "johnson" would be a dildo, so instead of calling him "dildo", "Rabbit" slyly references a feature on a popular women's sex toy...google it if you can't figure it out.

Niklas Hjalmarsson 4:  Go to IKEA, pick up an item, and read its Swedish name and you probably have a nickname for him (TOFTBO and ASPELUND seem to be the most common) also, Hammer and Meatball.  Older: Nintendo (Super Nintendo Chalmers) Hjalphabet, Jelly (His AHL Nickname)

Patrick Kane 88:  Kaner, Lazy, Doctor/Dr Kane (A name revealed in a BHTV episode that his teammates call him because he's surgical) 20 Cent (in reference to the infamous "Cabbie Punching" incident, and because he's so hood)

Patrick Sharp 10: Sharpie, Sharp Shooter, Shooter...or panty melter, cuz lets face it, chicks dig him.

Tomas Kopecky 82:  Hossa's Bitch/Valet/Ballwasher/Personal Assistant (In reference to the fact that it has been implied that there is a bromance between the aforementioned Panda and Kopecky).  Kop (Also refers to a player losing his helmet, ie "Eager just pulled a Kop") Keystone Kop ( A reference to the old silent films about idiot police officers, implying that Kopecky is incompetent at times) AssSkate also works, since he spends most of his time on his ass, and should have a skate grafted to his hind quarters to increase his productivity/skating ability.  Also responds to "Fucking Kopecky"

Troy Brouwer 22:  T-Bone, Lowen-Brouw, Brouwzer, Yossarian

Viktor Stalberg 25: Vickberg, VerSWEDE!, Vik Rattlehead (or simply Rattlehead) a reference to the Megadeath mascot (name appointed by the CI as official nickname)

LINES/DEFENSIVE PAIRINGS

Clown Car: Boynton+Cullimore, from a Live from the Five Hole podcast

Daydream Nation:  The combination of Toews and Kane on the ice, combined they are 1988, the year the album of the same name was released, and their birth years

Hammer of the Gods: Hossa, Toews, Sharp, aka Opposition D shits their pants line

Hammer Soup: Soupy/Hammer combo (Reference to Children's book, no you cant "Click to Look Inside"), also suggested Meatball Soup or Italian Wedding (because they are actual soups that involve meatballs)

Hossbollah:  Hossa, or I think the combination of Hossa and Bolland

Jelly Biscuit: Hjalmarsson + Seabrook on D

Marlboro 72:  The bromantic and professional combination of Seabrook and Keith, a reference to the Marlboro cigarettes of the same name

The Madison St. Globetrotters: Hossa, Toews, Kane (a reference to Foley saying "It looks like the Harlem Globetrotters out there")

OTHER TEAMS/PLAYERS

Bluesers:  St Louis Blues...fuck them

Nucks: The Canucks, most of their fans are cool, but their team is a bunch of bastards

SCUM: Detroit, typically preceded by some kind of vulgarity

Cindy:  Sidney Crosby

JHC.:   Jesus Havlat Christ

Lu, Reboundo:  Roberto Luongo

Fucking Criminal Asshole: Todd Bertuzzi

Ovie: Ovechkin

Wiener Tucker:  Rick Nash (Allegedly, according to the 300 level)

MISC INFO/BLOG RELATED PHRASES/MEMES 

'a': A response used when you want to argue a point, but realize the futility in arguing, as it would be like discussing quantum physics with table lamp.

Beating a Dead Horse: No, its not attempting to "punch your cabbie" while you have ED, its The Goalie Debate.  There's so much material on this site concerning goalies that I believe Time Life is now offering the debate in its entirety in a simulated leather bound 3 volume commemorative set.

Ben Eager Hat Trick: One dumbass penalty per period

Bollie Line: 36% at the faceoff dot

Bottom Lounge, Whirlaway: Two establishments where SCH members gather so they dont have to drink aloneall the time

Chicago Sports Media: Generally incompetent,(there are exceptions) you're better off reading here

Clownshoes:  The often lamented Blackhawk's Power Play, also known as beer reload time, because you wont miss much.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment:  The NHL on NBC

Disrespect to Country/Flag/Troops: What some people think we do when we cheer during the National Anthem.  People who think this are defined later (see: Mouthbreathers)

DLR:  David Lee Roth, "Everybody Wants Some"  reserved for when the Hawks beat the shit out of someone, the soundtrack to an ass beating

Douchebag, asshat, fuckhead, penis head, douchenozzle, dildo, fuckstick etc:  Many times these are referring to Pierre McGuire (usually preceded by "Mc"), just be sure to check the context, they could also be used for Millbury, Bettman, a ref, or an opposing player (like Bertuzzi, Wisniewski)

Edzo:  Eddie Olczyk

Edzo Bingo:       http://www.jeffcohenonline.com/edzobingo  works as a drinking game, have a case of beer on standby. related, Foley/Edzo Drinking Game:  "Active Sticks" "Young Hockey Players" "Crash the Net" etc earn you drinks, again, have a case of beer at the foot of the couch, you wont have time to get up and go to the fridge

HIBLD: "Hi Im Bob LeDonne" The official start to our "AA" Meetings.  A traditional start to each gamethread, rec it if you see it.

Huater:  Someone who is very outspoken about their disdain for Cristobal Huet

Kopecky Hat Trick:  Whiff on a shot, fall down, lose helmet, all in the same game, an natural Kop Trick is all 3 in one play

Ledge, The: A place of permanent residence for Hawk fans during the rough times (see, March 2010)

Mouthbreather:  People who yell SHOOOOOOT or HIT HIM! or SKAAAAAAATE!. These people also probably couldnt define icing for you if you asked.  Im pretty some of these goobers are in the background during Intermission Live at home games.   Also, people who support Detroit or St. Louis

Palomino: the official "safe word" (reference to an SNL skit, wikipedia it if you dont know) "to reign things in when the slide into utterly depraved starts to appear inevitable … and some of the rest wish to stop things before we go over the cliff."-krome

PK: Many times one of the best scoring opportunities for the Hawks in any given game. aka "Hossa Time"

Rally Mullet/Unlimited Mullet Potential: "This picture is thrown up when the Hawks are trailing (was HUGE in the playoffs last year) and go on the PP, or have scored a goal, or a couple unanswered goals, to narrow the deficit."-HawkVision

Scarlett Game: When one player, or players scores a shitload of points, because it is "sexier than Scarlett Jo in a corset, serving me pizza and beer, and blowing me during the intermissions"

Scott Hat Trick: Broken stick on 3 shots in one game (or period)

Shit the Bed: To fail epically and completely 

Shoot the Puck Skank/Bimbo: A usually physically appealing woman (usually in a jersey 3 sizes too small) who is generally not too bright who is chosen to participate in the shoot the puck contest

Skills Competition, Lightsaber Fight, Punt Pass Kick Competition, Freethrow Contest, HR Derby, Tiddlywinks Competition, Beer Pong, Flip Cup Contest, Shirtless Slap Fight: The Shootout

"Take off the shield"="Stop being a pussy"

That Which Shall Not be Named: The 35 lb drinking vessel of noble patronage, typically hoisted by a victorious group of hockey players at the culmination of a successful playoff run

NO NO WORDS/TOPICS: Derogatory/"Homophobic" epithets (the "F" word, yes, you can still say fuck, the bad one rhymes with "bag"), slang terms for the mentally challenged.  Cubs/Sox (for obvious reasons).  Politics/Religion

I will edit/add more at your suggestion, this is an ever growing tome of SCH lore, so I need your help.  

I want to give an assist to anyone mentioned above, VerStig, ahnfire, happyhossapanda, and CNS for reminding me of some shit I forgot.  Christ, this is turning into a fucking Oscar acceptance speech, but keep em coming.

Have a good one, you crazy bastards