• joined May 10, 2008
  • last login Aug 20, 2014
  • posts 114
  • comments 8619

I was raised on Alabama Crimson Tide football. But considering I grew up in California and couldn't attend any games, it stands to reason I grew up also liking every team in Oakland- A's, Raiders, and Warriors. As well, I'm a graduate of the University of Southern California and as such, my allegiance towards all things Trojan is unyielding (except when/if it applies to 'Bama).
Other than that- I used to be a street-walkin' skank, but those days are now way over. I used to play a mad air-bass too, but since I mastered "The Robot" and learned to touch my chin with my tongue, I earn a legit wage these days.

A Fan Of...

  • MLB Oakland Athletics
  • NBA Golden State Warriors
  • NFL Oakland Raiders
  • NCAAF Alabama Crimson Tide
  • NCAAB USC Trojans
  • MMA Cain Velasquez
  • FIFA USA (national soccer team)
  • Serie A AS Roma
User Blog

McNair's appeal


I found this gem! Getting ready to go to jiu-jitsu this morning, I googled "NCAA Committee on Infractions USC" and found this. I realize it's just part of a message board, but DAMN! The more I review our appeal, the more I'm getting comfortable with our chances. This has got to be the most unnerving of all the recent reports concerning our appeal and McNair's. None of this is "new" information, it's all information that's available on the internet. I can only imagine what our USC lawyers are working with. Fight On!

According to uscripsit blog, Patrick Hall has been suspended from the team, pending further...


According to uscripsit blog, Patrick Hall has been suspended from the team, pending further notice. Hard to get happy after knowing that news. This guy came with all the stars and all the accolades. He was supposed to be a 2-way athlete. Advice to Patrick: follow Robert Woods' lead, dude!

USC loses, then vacates 2004 Nat'l Championship Trophy


Don't know what else to say regarding this excruciating loss of the 2004 Grantland Rice Trophy. Except- Fight On!


USA Today's pre-season Coaches Poll is out

And for the first time in a long time- it's not SEC heavy in the top 15. All I can say is: HALLELUJAH! And what's beautiful about this season's pre-season poll- they've got two teams representing...

Interesting new lawsuit against EA Sports


Back on July 15th, I posted a Fanshot regarding a class-action lawsuit vs. EA Sports, the NCAA and Collegiate Licensing Company (the NCAA's licensing arm) . In that post, lead plaintiff in the case- Sam Keller (former QB for Arizona State and Nebraska, respectively) claims that likenesses of players and former players in any/all sports who played in the NCAA are intellectual property and these players/ex-players should be provided just compensation. As well, Keller's attorneys said that the claims against the EA Sports and the NCAA are different. Their issue with EA Sports is the use of the likenesses of the players. Their issue with the NCAA is that college sports' governing body made a deal with the video game manufacturer, turning a blind eye toward the use of the players' likenesses (taken from the Washington Post article linked in red/bold) The NCAA and EA Sports directly responded to the WashPost article. NCAA saying essentially that it does not profit from the likenesses of it's players or former players. (what a way to NOT answer the major question of the pertinents to the lawsuit). EA Sports spokesman saying, "We do not believe that any violations of student-athlete rights have occurred." (hey, at least the WashPost got a quote from them!) Well, there's a new lawsuit- brought on by ex-NFL players and this new litigation against EA Sports shines new light on how the NCAA and EA Sports colluded to skirt legalities in their agreement to allow for likenesses to be utilized in EA video games. This new lawsuit, brought on by ex-NFL player Tony Davis, alleges Electronic Arts "knowingly and intentionally" used the retired players' likenesses in such a way to avoid having to pay licensing fees. Plaintiff and former NFL running back Tony Davis contends EA misappropriated the retired players by using their exact player stats and positions from when they were active in the league, including height and weight, but would remove their names and change their uniform numbers. "The only significant detail that EA changes from the real-life retired NFL players is their jersey number," the suit says. "Despite EA's 'scrambling' of the retired NFL players' numbers, the games are designed so that consumers of the Madden NFL video game franchise will have no difficulty identifying who the 'historic' players are." The suit also says that despite not including the players' names and original uniform numbers in Madden NFL 09, users can still go in and edit the roster to include them. The class seeks punitive damages for deprivation and violation of publicity rights An EA representative told IGN the company does not comment on pending litigation. (they only comment on ones that they actually think they'll win- it seems to me) So, does the NCAA get up-front money or are they paid yearly from EA Sports to NOT LITIGATE the video-gaming company for using players/ex-players likenesses? You know, akin to "hush-money". I fully believe the NCAA's sincerity by saying it does not "profit" from their players likenesses- but they didn't exactly say that they don't receive a payout from EA Sports altogether. So, by using the likenesses of players- EA Sports has been able to rake in MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars skirting direct usage of actual players' names, teams, and jersey numbers. And by not having a direct contract or agreement regarding current or former NCAA players, their team, nor jersey numbers- the NCAA can rightfully claim they don't profit off their likenesses.

I can hear Pete's screams from HERE!!!!! Read this comedy, someone gets a good spank in the...


I can hear Pete's screams from HERE!!!!! Read this comedy, someone gets a good spank in the comments section. Hilariousness, and tragic all the same. [I now invoke a discourse of 'karma-phalah'. Learn it, love it- because you live it!] And one thing I wish to add- Uhhhhhhh, hey 'Bama! Defensive a bit, these days huh? After having read this TWICE in it's entire 210 comments. . . . .my reaction is this- "Quit whining! There's no whining in football, but oh no! Oh my God! You're even tellin' everybody, 'Everyone, would you just leave us alone?', I mean. . . . you gotta be kidding me, right?"


Sanctions Prologue

Bumped...Great Stuff from Bix! - P Every college football fan knows, when it comes to really punishing an institution for totally lacking in oversight and being woefully bereft of student/athlete...

The Organization of Rigidity: NCAA facing another lawsuit


According to Sam Keller, a former football player for Arizona State and Nebraska- the NCAA has gone too far in allowing the licensing of athletes' likenesses to be used and 'pixilated' in the free-market of video games and digital media. The NCAA's response? They're on record as saying that it, "does not attempt to profit from the likenesses of Mr. Keller or any other student-athletes, nor does it license EA to use those images." Uhhh. . . . yeah, right! I don't know about you, but I think it's high time the NCAA re-thinks it's ability to preserve it's "tax-exempt" status and start making wholesale changes to: A. it's mission statement (I mean, c'mon! It's a joke to think it's fundamental concern is for the "student-athlete", when it profits off their backs through controlling not just the competitive events they play in throughout their college eligibility- but also their image or likeness through the marketing of video games and merchandise even after they've played their last game). B. It's bylaws and codes of enforcement (Is it really fair to deny certain player eligibility, yet allow others to maintain theirs due to unfair interpretations of a badly-worded bylaw stating that student-athletes cannot profit or compete professionally in sports outside of NCAA jurisdiction?) C. Enforcement staffing and selection process of choosing individuals to sit on the Committee of Infractions (Every Trojan knows what happened with us, and it shouldn't be allowed to happen again to any other member institution in the future. We're talkin' flagrant!). I have a weird question, just 'cause I'm curious- is all? How many class-action lawsuits does it take, before the NCAA finally gets it? That- if, Reggie Bush were REALLY Reggie Bush? . . . then THEY are Reggie Bush, too! Brian Cushing's 'eyeblack' says, "Feel Me?!!". . . . So do I.

Sanctiongate Players: What are they doing now?


Bret Schrotenboer of the San Diego Union-Tribune writes about the current lives and respective dispositions of the main players surrounding the NCAA's investigation of USC and Reggie Bush. There are updates for Denise and LaMar Griffin, Michael Michaels, Lloyd Lake, and of course Reggie Bush and USC. It's an interesting read in that: Michaels is practically bankrupt and now just a peon-worker for the Sycuan Tribe Casino and Resort (did you know he was audited and penalized by the IRS?), Lake is profiting off the NCAA investigation and will possibly co-star in a "reality-based" t.v. show, and well LaMar. . . . . . .well, LaMar is categorically presented as the total-loser that he is, was, and will probably always be. (the dude couldn't pay or refused to pay for rent on an apartment following his free-rent from the house that Michaels provided him. Get this, it was for a paltry 3-grand!!!!! what a M-A-R-O-O-N! total TIGHTWAD!) (hat tip, again- to The Wiz of Odds.com)

Ex-USC linebacker Jordan Campbell to play for Louisville


Hat tip to The Wiz of Odds.com According to the Courier-Journal.com, former USC linebacker Jordan Campbell will transfer to the University of Louisville and play immediately for the Cardinals and Coach Charlie Strong. Apparently, Jordan entertained the possibilities of playing for the University of West Virginia as well as the Boise State Broncos before signing with Louisville. In light of the recent NCAA sanctions against USC, Jordan will be allowed a waiver to play immediately- this according to established NCAA bylaws. I'm sure I speak for most of us in wishing Jordan Campbell the best for his future, and much success in all he endeavors to do in life. Take care Jordan!

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice shirt! [I'm gonna TRY!!!!!!!! to keep this brief. Lemme just write down a few...


Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice shirt! [I'm gonna TRY!!!!!!!! to keep this brief. Lemme just write down a few words, in order to keep things sorta organized- so to speak. - oblivious - unsubscribed - dumbfounded - amused - dumb-luck Okay- 3 months ago I attended a funeral in Seattle, WA. While there (not at the funeral service, Seattle in general), I caught a punk show at some -barn- -condemned bldg-, "alleged" poolhall/dive-bar (no liquor, no beer, no comfy furniture, . . no electricity??? seriously- they used generators and. . . .I won't even discuss restroom type shit. . .) and of course I proudly sported my "Alabama" shirt while trying to regulate a Pit or 2. In between bands I met a way rad super sweet insanely beautiful U -Dub grad student. I was bleeding in various places and she had THE most well-stocked glovebox-first-aid-kits I've ever seen. And! She had some beer and liquor in the back seat of her car. (actually, it was one of her friends' booze. she carpooled with 2 others. fucking-A Seattle is GREEEEEEEN!) We became inseparable from the moment we met, until my flight left 2 days later. Since the funeral in Seattle, I've seen this woman only 4 more times. Both of us have heinously busy schedules and well. . . . .the geography doesn't help us any. So tonight, I get home and UDub-nug (girl from Seattle) has delighted me with a surprise visit. I haven't seen her, for . . . . .(i forgot? ). . . .anyway! It's been a long time. Short of the long of it: she brought her own 'Bama shirt and without going into gory detail- I was majorly lost in an amorous gaze/funk/void. I mean, I can't tell you exactly how long I was staring/watching her move about my house (living room/atrium/kitchen-area) because I thought I was trying to tidy up my place and was gathering some paint cans and painting shit I had lying around. (another story altogether, I'll spare you). I was so caught red-handed just checking her out (fwiw: we had already handled our "priorities", if you will. yup! full-on epic salt-deposit sideburns for me, and better Lady Gaga hair than Lady Gaga has for herself, for her. it was like that!) When I got busted, and she called me on it. . . . she was so incredibly sweet about it. . . . .I couldn't really utter words. Or even, a word! I just wanted to hold her right then and there, standing up (me: way buck-naked / her: nothing on, but her BAMA shirt- that no way covered her retarded-ass, but barely went halfway down the side of her hips) and just hug and kiss her. I mean, she's hot- yeah! But practically naked, in a BAMA shirt? Every single solitary molecule of her physical form seemed to me to be absolutely perfect. (and I really feel like over-emphasizing this point) Still, it wouldn't fully describe what I'm talkin' about here. Flash forward: 45 minutes after teasing me about staring at her- she wants to go grab a beer and burger at one of the many local bars & pubs in my neighborhood. So, we leave my place and next thing you know- I'm chowing down baby-back ribs, corn on the cob, and potato salad and look up to watch tv. (i don't own one, a tv that is) So anyway. . . . . although my barbecue is fucking delicious, and UDub-nug is hypnotic- The Late Show with David Letterman is on, and I'm transfixed. I haven't seen Letterman in, like. . . . . (I forgot this one too, but- IT'S ALSO BEEN A WAY LONG TIME!) So in tonight's show, there was this part where Dave checks in with this dude named Rupert Jee- who works at the Hello Deli and it's situated in close proximity to where they tape the Letterman Show. This is a very well-spoken, kinda reserved Asian-guy, working in a deli in New York City, and he's. . . . . . . WEARING A FREAKING "Alabama" t-shirt!!!!!!! (and it was beautiful. oh. . . .i'm not homo, and I'm not talking about Rupert Jee per se. . . .it was his t-shirt! His t-shirt looked mighty fine on national tv.) And Rupert IS WAY DOWN WITH 'BAMA, yo! So, I get home and tried to find a re-broadcast of tonight's Letterman show. I can't find one. Well, I'll be a monkey's-uncle. . . by marriage! This dude Rupert has been supporting Bama and proudly stating his allegiance and loyalty to her since. . . . (well, . . . I found footage of him wearing 'Bama gear way back in) June 2007. I couldn't find tonight's Letterman show. I was floored. Bedazzled. Was way, way trippin'. Man, I love Crimson Tide- . . . . EVERYTHING! Hot chicks and sandwich makers. I wanna say thanks to the Punk Rock Gods and uber-hip old-time tv hosts! I really shouldn't even be posting this fanshot right at this very moment. . . .?????. . . ???? (this shoulda been a fanpost, hah? Oye!)


Taylor Mays is pissed, blames Coach Carroll

I know, I know- we went back and forth on another thread regarding Taylor Mays' draft position and ensuing pick. At #49 and going to the San Francisco --69-ers-- 49-ers, he's a helluva steal at...


Who will wear the #1 USC Football Jersey?

According to Scott Wolf (our favorite non-CC blogger. . . .ahem!), Coach Lane Kiffin took away the #1 jersey from junior cornerback T.J. Bryant and sophomore receiver De'Von Flournoy yesterday....

Former Bruin Spencer Havner Arrested for DUI


The dude was riding around on his motorcycle at 2 AM last week, bailed flying down a cul-de-sac, and claimed he didn't know how or why he crashed- or, for that matter, where he was to begin with? He was taken to a local hospital where he was subsequently arrested by CHP officers after learning that he was "way over the limit".

Is Coach Carroll in a Quandary?


NFL-beat writer for the LA Times, Sam Farmer, projects the Seattle Seahawks draft pick (#6 in the first round) to be . . . . Eric Berry (Safety) from the University of Tennessee. ????? Three things: 1. What the F_ _ K? 2. Doesn't this kinda remind you of Tennessee's pick for the 2006 NFL draft? (Coach Chow's predicament of having to choose either Vince Young or Matt Leinart) and 3. Pete Carroll is just a Head Coach, and not a GM for Seattle- if Sam Farmer is correct in thinking the Seahawks are in need of a safety, what sources have told him that they're looking at Berry instead of Mays? Did he even try to get Coach Carroll's input for his prediction?

Will fUcla claim this Emerald Bowl as a "win"?


Not sure what these nutjobs will do? They've never disappointed in the expectation department, but this one is a doozy? Will they claim this as a bowl victory?

Cool 'SC recruiting news from Jan 5 Rivals article!


This article was written before the US Army All-American Bowl that took place earlier this month, but I thought I'd fanshot it up here on Conquest Chronicles, seeing as we're all tickled-pink at some of the recent good news on USC football recruiting for 2010. In it, Sean Callahan- who's on the Rivals.com writing staff, talks glowingly of a few high school players who -interestingly enough, have decided to attend our beloved university. In actuality, it seems as though it could have been written by card-carrying Trojan. The players he mentions just so happened to shine at the US Army practice combine and then went on to play quite well in their respective roles during the AA Bowl game. Enjoy!


2010 = BCS-bustin' Time!

Did you guys see the Fiesta Bowl? I didn't. But. . . . I just read about it! With Boise State's (#6) 17 - 10 win over Texas Christian (#3), the Bustin' Broncos of Boise State have finished their...

This is the young man (Dillon Baxter) who's gonna make Matt Barkley look good in the years to come!...


This is the young man (Dillon Baxter) who's gonna make Matt Barkley look good in the years to come! By the way, did you guys see next year's Pac 10 season schedule? We might, lose 1 or 2? But . . . . . . FWIW: I see 4, maybe 5 wins for fUcla next year. And if they get supremely lucky next year- they'll break even. Four and Eight, that's what they'll get next year. I'm betting the house on their failure. They made me good money this year. . . . .and I'm totally not joking! FIREPOWER! (riiiiiiiiiight!)

Grass To Be Pristine For BCS Title Game Jan 7, 2010! At 9 tonight, about three hours after the...


Grass To Be Pristine For BCS Title Game Jan 7, 2010! At 9 tonight, about three hours after the Rose Bowl game has ended, another high-pressure game begins. The stadium's world-class grounds crew will "scalp" the existing field, cutting the grass to a mere quarter-inch, then roll out a brand-new field on top. The goal: to ensure the playing surface for the Bowl Championship Series title game Thursday is equally lush and pool-table smooth. It will mark the first time two new fields have been installed at the stadium for consecutive games (a new one was installed after UCLA's last home game Nov. 21), and it underscores the pride Rose Bowl representatives take in their 2 1/2 -acre slice of heaven. "We want people to say, 'That's the Rose Bowl field,' " said Will Schnell, the stadium's turf superintendent. "We want the big 'Wow!' It's our stage." What's more, after the BCS title game, the Alabama and Texas end zones, as well as the midfield logo, will be parceled into 3-by-3-inch sections, freeze dried and preserved under glass, then sold as game-used collectibles. The first batch of mementos will be made available to the players and their families. Putting pristine new turf in place in six days is an ambitious task, but Schnell and his 90-member crew have some recent experience with that kind of quick turnaround. In October, after a U2 concert at the stadium, a new surface was put in place for a UCLA game nine days later. Schnell imposed a six-day deadline to simulate the current challenge. (this guy MUST KNOW WHAT he's doing. His last name, if translated directly from it's German-roots means = 'fast'. No joke!) (the above information came from the LA Times, Sam Farmer Jan. 1, 2010) Except the ending parenthetical portion- that's Bix!

Big 12 owns the Pac-10! With Nebraska's shellacking of Arizona last night to the tune of 33-0 in...


Big 12 owns the Pac-10! With Nebraska's shellacking of Arizona last night to the tune of 33-0 in the Holiday Bowl in San Diego and then Stanford's 31-27 loss to Oklahoma in the Sun Bowl, played in El Paso, TX- the teams from the Big 12 conference have shut-out the Pac 10 teams in, wow- as long as I can remember. So what is it? The word on the street was that the Pac 10 was strong this year, but at 2-4 bowl record- it looks like teams from the MWac (BYU over Oregon State & Utah over Cal Bears) and Big 12 conferences were even better. Or is it that the teams in the Pac 10 already got their rocks off from beating us - looking at you 'Furd and 'Cats! Oregon Ducks. . . . . .? You guys better put the hurt on Ohio State. And I mean that figuratively, of course not literally! Quack, quack! Go Ducks!

A shot of Century City (bank/finance/law district of Los Angeles) looking westward from the...


A shot of Century City (bank/finance/law district of Los Angeles) looking westward from the "Hollywood sign". Hope y'all have a safe and momentous New Year's Eve celebration, and a return to the top New Year! Weather's been kind of overcast- great for surfing, terrible for commuter traffic. Let it be known: People out here can't drive when their windshield-wipers are on, and they're epic pricks and bitches when they're off. Lose/lose all the way around. Take cabs whenever, wherever you can or any free shuttles that you might be offered. MetroLink trains and buses are a good deal, and so are LADOT services- which go everywhere you might wanna go. LADOT is cheap and free with MetroLink fare/stub. Wanna read something incredibly funny? Here's an excerpt, but read the whole article- it sums up Los Angeles and the surrounding areas in a nutshell during this holiday and football bowl season, and isn't spreading any lies!!! (Chris Erskine/LA Times) "In fact, you'll find that L.A. has only three directions, west (toward the ocean), east (toward the mountains) and "where the $&$#@&* am I?" (which is pretty much everywhere else). Here's another tip: If you can stay off the freeways (particularly the 5, the 10, the 110, the 134, the 405, the 210, the 605 and the 101) and the surface streets, you'll be fine. That's right, walk. You'll find we have a fine, ultramodern mass transit system, though it goes nowhere you'd really want to end up. It doesn't go to the airport, for example, or past the Rose Bowl (too obvious) or even to the beach (too much sand and sun). To paraphrase Yogi Berra, nobody ever goes to those places -- they're too crowded."


This is why I'm a Trojan!

Now, I can't help that I was raised by a Catholic mom who's roots, invariably tie her to the South. And as such, in my household, the name Bear Bryant was a God- no kidding, on the walls leading...

Bush, Carroll, et. al TO BE DEPOSED!


So now, it appears as the gloves are off and Bush WILL get his day in court. This is going to get interesting, to say the least


It's a Pac-10 thing

So, it's already college football bowl season- you know how I know? I 'think' there was a bowl game played last week or weekend, and there was a bowl game tonight as well. I know hah? On a Tuesday?...

Mark Stoops hired as D coordinator at Florida State?


FROM HEATHER DINICH/ESPN: "Florida State has hired Arizona defensive coordinator Mark Stoops as its next defensive coordinator, according to a source close to the hiring process. Stoops will replace longtime defensive coordinator Mickey Andrews, who announced his retirement earlier this season after 26 years. Stoops is the first hand-picked coordinator by Jimbo Fisher, who will replace legendary coach Bobby Bowden following the Konica Minolta Gator Bowl. Stoops, a native of Youngstown, Ohio, was also a top candidate for the head coaching job at Youngstown State. Details of his contract at FSU were not immediately available. Stoops was defensive backs coach at Miami from 2001-2003 before joining his brother Mike's staff at Arizona for the 2004 season." Stoops has some pedigree from the state of Florida as he coached the secondary at Miami for three seasons back in the day--remember how good those teams played?--since his time at Miami and to a large extent- and more recently at Arizona, he uses a mix of defensive "cover 2 philosophies" and the Stoops' family staple of "zone blitz schemes". The Cardinal Mooney graduate has been leading the Wildcats' defense for six years and has helped develop some of the nation's top defensive backs. He's tutored the likes of Antoine Cason, a first-round NFL draft pick in 2008 and Wilrey Fontenot (seventh round in '08) while at Arizona. Prior to that, he was the defensive backs coach at the University of Miami (Fla.) from 2001-03. Stoops, 42, coached some of the nation's best defensive backs during that time, and the Hurricanes led the nation in pass defense in 2002 and 2003. He helped foster the growth of Phillip Buchanon, Mike Rumph and Ed Reed, who were all taken in the first round of the 2002 NFL draft, the first time ever three players from the same secondary were taken in the first round. Some of the other defensive backs he coached while at Miami were: Antrel Rolle (first-round pick), Sean Taylor (first round) and Alfonso Marshall (seventh round). That's not to say Mark Stoops' D has been able to stop anyone and everyone. In their game against Oregon this year- Oregon's offensive numbers in the first half - 45 points, 411 yards - were so dumbfounding, so inexplicable, so un-Stoops-like, that they defied comprehension for an Arizona defense that entered the game ranked second in the Pac-10. I don't have time to find out Arizona's 2009 defensive stats- here's what he's done from last year. 2008 stats: # Rushing Defense: 131.08 (39, 5)- national/conference numbers # Pass Defense: 181.92 (23, 4) # Total Defense: 313.00 (24, 3) # Scoring Defense: 21.31 (33, 3) # Turnover Margin: .46 (29, 3) # Sacks: 1.85 (64, 7) Sad to see him go? No, way! Good luck coach in the ACC! And good riddance


"But it's looking like that's the way it's going to go" - Toby Gerhart

This just in from "College Football with John Wilner"- Toby Gerhart may go pro. As it is, he's already practicing for the 40 yard dash at the NFL Draft Combine coming up after the season is over....


The Civil War and PAC-10 Implications

After the Oregon Ducks thoroughly dismantled the USC Trojan football team this past Halloween night, I remember writing somewhere that I hoped the Oregon State Beavers would beat the Ducks in their...

The Huskies and The Ducks: The Uncivil War


Chris Dufresne of The Los Angeles Times writes about the legendary series, I especially like the fact that he points to Coach Don James only losing 3 times to the Ducks 17 years. Not a typo.

Hey homeslices (afterall, we're all just like the good stuff that goes on . . .insane bombass...


Hey homeslices (afterall, we're all just like the good stuff that goes on . . .insane bombass pizzas! and as such, we're like. . .well, like slices o' that pizza. so? homeslices. yo! or. . . , no?) ANYWAZE! Check this cat KILL IT! I mean, he check's in with a Nard Freeze, then righteously right-hands what I can hazzard to guess exactly WHAT it's called? by saying prolly something like a, "Coldcock-Tomahawk". Yup, yup. Something like that. . . ? Anyhoozits, what would you call it? (besides a dunk, or slam, or rhymes with "ammer" or "ooski" and definitely not even remotely tied to The Doctor can't-no-one-touch-him, J). Aight?

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