Ok kids, we beat the Heat last year and I wrote this little ditty. (song below the jump) I posted it at "Fear The Sword" when they beat the Heat, which was after we had earlier beat them. My post drew the most comments at the time – 3 (2 of the comments were mine). Yes, after the Cav’s got revenge, they still had no life left in their sole (or their souls). And it was a great game - they were knocking down the shots. To refresh yalls memory: We got nothing on ESPN when we took the big weenies 3 down, nada – no national news coverage. It was our 7th road victory in a row, and all they covered was James crying over losing a game they wanted to win. So the question is….are the Heat going down this year. What do you think?

Ditty jump right here.….

Poll

To Heat or not to Heat

• Heat are going up
• Heat are going down

  157 votes | Results

Continue reading this post »

 

From a Blazer fan: Thanks for putting a number on the Heat.
All around Great game Cav’s fans.
14+ on rebounds
9 of 17 from 3
55.6% shooting
I love the way Miami came back from 23 down, and then you stomped on them. It's not very often i find myself saying "awesome 3-point shot", but I said it several times in this game. There were also some nice fast breaks to go with some good defense and offense.

We beat the Heat in Miami a while back for our 7th road win in a row, and I wrote a rap song after the victory. I never posted it at Blazersedge but thought you guys might appreciate the sentiment.

and it goes something like this….

Continue reading this post »

When I found out my sister was having an all girls pool party I hid serendipitously on the roof.

Once the party was jumpin’ I ripped of my toga and ran across the peak of the roof hoping that my aim was solid enough to miss the concrete while trying hard to avoid dying of a broken face. And, also knowing if I could miss the concrete, at least one of these wonderful creatures would hold me in the utmost of admiration for such audacious and daring gallantry. 

 

Ooooops, wrong website…sorry.

 

But on the other hand, when my face broke through the surface of the water I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and declared loudly at 96 batting eyelids - If Batum can continue to score at this rate, and Nate lets him play 48 minutes a game he will most certainly score a whopping 12,800 points per game for the rest of the season. WOOOOOOOOOT

 

"Yes, that’s right girls"  I said unflinchingly.

There are 2880 seconds per game -

But, there are 3200 ".9 seconds" per game.

4 X 3200 = 12800

…... and there was much rejoicing

 

But why stop there.

If Miller and Wesley play some D, keep stealing the ball like we know they can. No team will ever bring the ball more than 10 feet past the mid court line ever again.

 

Ok - minus out Nic’s current rate of 12 PPG and then add back in his new seaon average of 12800 PPG. Throw in 85 PPG for the rest of the team and we should land around 12885 points per game. Assuming Andre and Wesley show up big on D, the final score for each of the remaining games……

 

Blazers 12885,  opponents 0

 

Of course, you all know what happens next -

I was immediately crowned without revoke, poolside party spokesman and mascot for all eternity, time without end.

 

You can laugh at the substance of this post if you want. You might even say this could never happen in 12885 million years. But hey – it could happen. I can see it happening. Just once in my lifetime it’s possible I could miss that concrete and hit the water.

Poll

Poll

9%

Advanced metrics rule

4 votes

12%

This is better than PER

5 votes

9%

Does this mean we win?

4 votes

39%

You forgot 3 opponent turnovers in 30 seconds, That’s 288 TO’s per game.

16 votes

29%

88 = Liquid Basketball

12 votes

41 votes | Poll has closed

I detest to the utmost that my farewell post is a post of poop.

I hate poop and all its related topics. As a child, when dad used to burp at the dinner table I could hardly eat another bite.

 

Background: Idol put up a callout post on 12/12/10. I then wrote a post calling out tih because he continually brings up poop. Yuk, just Yuk. tih was  banned so i didn't post it. Below the jump is that post.

 

Farewell

Before we get to the jump and my poopy post I want to say goodbye and how much I have enjoyed being here the last 2+ years. To me the JD has never been junk. It’s always been pure gold. Well Ok, there was some silver and sometimes a little dross, but If I were to count up all the laughter of my life over these 2+ years, I would guess the larger percentage of it was right here in the JD.

 

I will miss all you guys and girls. It seems strange to say that here amongst all this junk I grew as a person. And, I think I saw some of you grow as well.

 

Why am I leaving:  

It’s hard to put into words. Perhaps an illustration would be suitable.

Probably all of us have had one or two times in our lives where there was a magical moment or special evening. Maybe it was a Friday night dance where 5, 10, 20 years later someone says, "remember that Friday night dance", and everybody knows exactly what night you're talking about.

 

It was a night where a poor kid from across town came to the dance, and because this night was radiated in a euphoric purple haze, the most beautiful prom queen in 50 years says to this poor kid, "Will you be my dance partner tonight." The band was playing, the joint was jumping, and nobody sits or stands against the wall this whole night. You don’t even need a dance partner this night because the music is just too good. Everyone is dancing on the floor tonight.

 

The band plays on, long into the morning. After it’s all over, your buddies are saying come on lets go. Everyone’s gone and there are 2 cars left in the parking lot. Your buddies are in one car, and the other car is waiting for the prom queen. It’s you and the most beautiful girl in the world standing there. You give her a kiss - and it lasts 10 minutes. You know and she knows it will be the last kiss you both will ever have together. But at the same time you both also know, even at that moment, it is the finest of all kisses - It is the kiss of a lifetime.

 

While, except for the camaraderie, probably 80% of our junk could be burned and we would never miss it. But every now and then in this thing we call the JD, there was a moment of magic, a magic like "That Friday night dance". I loved those moments.

 

For me, that magic is gone, and it hurts a little, and even a lot. But I want to thank each and every one of you for making all that magic possible. It was true bliss - I will remember it forever.

 

What I regret:

I regret that I never made it into idol’s profile of quotes. There was however 2 or 3 times where I thought, hey, this comment might make it. But idol, your standards are high indeed.

 

I regret that I never got to use my newly created pickup lines on fanfaraway. I worked on them diligently for 6 months. Think about this fanfaraway. After the jump you’re going to read my post of poop, and somewhere along the way you’re going to smile. You may even find yourself laughing, and if I can create laughter with something as despicable as poop, just think what I can do with the finer culinary tools of top ramen or chicken noodle soup. I won’t bring up ginger lobster in a sauce of garlic and basil. I wouldn’t want you to die in my arms.

 

It’s probably better that someone else woos you. I would hate to think you might fall for me just because of my bronze body and chiseled good looks. I know how shallow you can be at times. Bye sweetie.

 

I regret not being around here a little more often in the last 6 months and getting to know some of the newer posters.

 

What I will miss:

I will miss all of you. Last night in less than a minute I counted up over 30 people I have come to know. I quit counting but also realized that there are some posters here I never replied to, and you never replied to me, yet I got to know you as well.

 

I will miss everything from L-TrainFTW’s weather reports to Mortimer’s ugly mug.

 

I will miss the creativity of all you crazy people. I’ve never met a group of people so insanely resourceful. You guys could rival the most genius think tank ever. 

Who can forget when we had that laugh fest for about 48 solid hours - Those fictitious books were a riot, among countless other things.

 

Shower Presence

by Joel Przybilla
 

How not to run a 4 on 1 fast break

by Nate Mcmillan

 

It looks like everyone is carrying on fine around here and I’m happy for that. It pains me I won’t be here. But for me it’s like being on your wedding night, the I do’s have been said, the rice has been thrown, and as we drive away in the limo my new bride says to me, "Now, you do realize there will be no sex in this marriage."

 

I don’t want to say hastily its goodbye forever, mainly because I’m a person who keeps my word. But right now it just feels like forever.
If I can get out of this funk I’m in, I’ll be back.

The only photo i have is with my sweaty forehead after a hard nights work.

Peace out brothas and sistas.

 

 Here's the jump, be careful where you step. 

  

Poll

My favorite movie Hollywood hasn’t made yet

0%

Pretty in Poop – (What in the world is this about? There’s nothing pretty in this film. "No Country for Old Poop", now that’s pretty)

0 votes

9%

ZombiePoopLand – (This movie was made for one reason only, to put a smile on the face of dario argento)

1 votes

0%

Four Weddings and a Honey Bucket with a Funky Latch - (think about it, one Honey Bucket, 4 weddings)

0 votes

9%

The Invention Of Poop – (tih plays Mark, a junker who lives in a world where a lie has never been told. He then uses poop to deceive everybody, and becomes famous through poop manipulation)

1 votes

0%

The Fantastic Mr. Poop – (What the cuss! Who can believe a movie where nefarious animals steal and eat food 24/7 and not one bathroom or Honey Bucket is ever shown. What the cuss!)

0 votes

9%

Short Poop – (A cop, Dabney Colon, finds out he only has two weeks left to poop before he poops out.

1 votes

0%

Three Men and a High Powered Poop Machine – (eeeewwwww)

0 votes

0%

Foreign film: Le Poop – (Released in America as "Four Weddings and a Honey Bucket with a Funky Latch", Frenchy fart noises are subtitled in English.)

0 votes

0%

All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth – (When this kid barfs, rectangular shaped rivers of caustic puke destroy everything in its path. Released in Spain as "Papá Papá, more bicuspid backpressure para Navidad, por favor")

0 votes

9%

My Life in Poops – (This film lives up to its title. And if you thought Richard D. was over the poop hill the last time you saw him, wait until you see him poop in this one)

1 votes

0%

Drag Me to Poop – (Girls will be girls. Malevolent gypsies and home loans don’t mix well. Who’d a thunk it; I mean, gypsies roam, houses don’t)

0 votes

0%

The Poop of Eli – (OH come on, we’re supposed believe a man rides all across an apocalyptic America without a Honey Bucket in the sidecar of his motorcycle – yeah right)

0 votes

18%

Puking Girls Riding in Cars with Boys who Poop (I didn’t watch this one, but I enjoyed the high school reality version I lived through)

2 votes

9%

There will be Poop – (Good film, I pooped a lot watching this)

1 votes

9%

You Don’t Know Poop – (I missed the first 2 hours of this film because I had to take a dump, a really big one)

1 votes

27%

Could someone pleeeeeease pass the Preparation H

3 votes

11 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

 

I’m staying on the bright side here.

Poll

Who will be the NCAA Football Champs

5%

quack

2 votes

0%

quack quack quack

0 votes

94%

Quack quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack QUACK QUACK quack quack QUACK QUACK

35 votes

37 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

I don’t know how much say I have in Junk protocol. Or in creating bylaws and such for the said daily junketh of drawers. But we have a book club. We have wikipedia definitions. We have BBQ’s. etc. etc. We have everything in spades right here in our daily drawers of junk.

But we don’t have WORD POWER.
What about adding a daily word definition to the junk??? (wouldn’t have to be daily)
So what do ya think, you powerhouse of junksta rappers. 

 

Poll

yea or nay for WORD POWER in the junk

7%

I have to floss my cat

1 votes

7%

I've dedicated my life to linguini

1 votes

14%

I want to spend more time with my blender

2 votes

14%

I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted

2 votes

7%

I'm teaching my ferret to yodel

1 votes

0%

I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons

0 votes

28%

I have to study for a blood test

4 votes

21%

I never go out on days that end in "Y."

3 votes

14 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

What do you think? Was the 2010 season subpar to the 2009 season?

Did we make progress? Did we inch closer to that elusive dance? Did the team mature, and are we a step ahead of where we left off from the previous season? Or were we mired in the mud and our progress flat lined for the whole year?

No doubt about it, it was incredible to get 50 wins from an injury riddled year. There are 410 games worth of playing time and we had 311 games worth of injury. But if you’re like me, I see 50 games in the win column and my first thought is we were 4 games worse than last year.

To take this team to the Finals, we have to keep inching forward. We have to make progress.

This is what it’s all about. We have to keep growing. If we intend to take it to the next level and start winning playoff games, we have to play the good teams better. Despite all the mayhem, chaos, broken knee caps, broken feet, broken backs, tendon pops, spilt beer, and swallowed whistles, I think  we in fact, did play the good teams better last year.

In my last post (Blazers Color Coded Season) something "finally" jumped off the page and hit me in the head. Despite all of the injuries, we played better against the good teams last year!

In 2009 our 82 game schedule had in it 24 games against teams with a mark of .610 or better.
In 2010 we played 33 games with an opponent that had a win mark .610 or better.
Against those teams (.610 or higher) in 2009 our win% was .416 (10 wins 14 losses)
In 2010 our win% against the same level of opponent was .455 (15 wins 18 losses)
In some respects it appears that we did have a better season in 2010.

We played 9 more games in 2010 (a significant amount) against stiff competition and came out ahead of where we were the year before.

Yes, we sprinkled in some losses against subpar teams we didn’t lose to the year before, but winning against the good teams is where it counts. This is where the rubber meets the road.

To highlight this, notice the league standings in the last 2 years. I’ve only listed the teams .500 or better.
In 2009 there were 9 teams with a record of .610 or better.
In 2010 there were  12 teams with a record of .610 or better.
The competition seems to have been stiffer in 2010.
 

2009					2010
NBA	W	L	PCT		NBA	W	L	PCT
z - Cleveland	66	16	0.805		z - Cleveland	61	21	0.744
z - LA Lakers	65	17	0.793		y - Orlando	59	23	0.720
y - Boston	62	20	0.756		z - LA Lakers	57	25	0.695
y - Orlando	59	23	0.720		y - Dallas	55	27	0.671
y - Denver	54	28	0.659		x - Phoenix	54	28	0.659
y - San Antonio	54	28	0.659		y - Denver	53	29	0.646
x - Portland	54	28	0.659		x - Atlanta	53	29	0.646
x - Houston	53	29	0.646		x - Utah	53	29	0.646
x - Dallas	50	32	0.610		y - Boston	50	32	0.610
x - New Orleans	49	33	0.598		x - Portland	50	32	0.610
x - Utah	48	34	0.585		x - San Antonio	50	32	0.610
x - Atlanta	47	35	0.573		x - Oklahoma City	50	32	0.610
Phoenix	46	36	0.561		x - Miami	47	35	0.573
x - Miami	43	39	0.524		x - Milwaukee	46	36	0.561
x - Philadelphia	41	41	0.500		x - Charlotte	44	38	0.537
x - Chicago	41	41	0.500		Houston	42	40	0.512
					x - Chicago	41	41	0.500

 
I’ve expressed my thoughts above. What do you think? How significant is it that we played 9 more games (33 games in 2010, 24 games in 2009) against stiff competition and came out with a better record in 2010. Does it show progress; does it show that we developed some level of cohesion and team chemistry? I think it's noteworthy, and a platform to build on.

It’s tough to pose a question for this poll - Did we have a better season in 2010 versus 2009 in the sense that we’ve matured, team chemistry is better, and we are now better prepared to advance in the playoffs?

Poll

The Blazers are ready to face the tough teams, have better chemistry, and are ready for a Playoff run?

92%

Yes

74 votes

2%

No

2 votes

5%

Other

4 votes

80 votes | Poll has closed

One phrase I’d like to eliminate from the Blazer vocabulary "IF….........Greg Oden is healthy".
Wait….on 2nd thought, I don’t want to eliminate it, I want to obliterate it. I want to pour ten million gallons of rocket fuel on it and torch it with a heat seeking missile.

Or, as the 5-year-old kid down the street said when he answered the door to someone peddling a religion somewhat different than his own: "Mom said God is going to throw you people in the dump with the devil and fire it up." Yes, this year, can we pleeeeease throw "300+ games lost to injury" in the dump and FIRE IT UP. I need me some new religion.
Can I get a witness?

On the other hand, you can’t really evaluate this impressive 50-win 2009-2010 season without factoring in the injury bug. Hollywood could remake a classic horror movie from this hideous bug, "The Psycho Cockroach That Ate New York City" sounds like a possible tagline. 13 players missed a combined 311 games.

Batum missed 45 games.

Oden goes down in game 21 against Houston with a fractured left patella. Maybe I’m not medically inclined, but I didn’t know putting your knee in a super-sized walnut cracker was called a fracture.

Przybilla goes down at the 3:12 mark in game 30 with a ruptured patella tendon. 35 games later the evil Mr. Bubbles attacks him in the shower with yet another patella tendon injury. His and Oden’s replacement: The well-seasoned veteran (not), power forward Jeff Pendergraph, who hadn't played yet this season due to a hip injury suffered in the summer.

Roy missed 17 games last year. In game 40 against Milwaukee Roy has a problem with his hamstring and leaves with about 6 minutes left in the 4th, and then misses the next 14 of 15 games. After the first 2 missed games he tried to come back in the Philly game but left with 1:02 left in the 2nd quarter. To come out of this 15 game stretch with 7 wins and 8 losses is noteworthy.

"This was a sad game for Brandon," McMillan said. "The other guys stepped up and played well. What we have to do is keep our heads up and let each other play the game."

And keep their heads up they certainly did. But then of course, stifling any optimism we might have had during the playoffs, Roy misses the last 2 games due to a meniscus tear in his right knee which he suffered late in game 80 against the Lakers. Not counting Pendergraph, between Oden, Przy, Roy, and Batum, that's approximately 177 of the 311 games missed to injury last year.

Below the jump is this year’s color coded edition of the Blazers 2009-2010 season. Hopefully the above commentary will put some of it into context.

Continue reading this post »

I am Greg, Greg I am

I will dunk it on yo mama
I will dunk it with mo trauma
I will dunk it on Obama
I will dunk it on Prada

I will dunk it in Nawlins
I will dunk it on the Queen
I will dunk it in Miami
I will dunk it on the King

I am Greg, Greg I am

I would not dunk it in a box.
I would not dunk it on a fox.
I would not dunk it in a house.
I would not dunk it on a mouse.

I will dunk it on Aristotle
I will dunk it with mo throttle
I will dunk it on the Shaq
and he won’t be coming back

I am Greg, Greg I am

I will dunk it on Pau
I will dunk it very tall
I will dunk it in the Holly
I will dunk it in the Wood

I will dunk it on Phil’s head
I will dunk it on Phil’s losophy
I will dunk it on Kobe
Take that Jack – Heeeere’s my little Johnny

I am Greg, Greg I am

Poll

How many dunks per game will Oden get this year?

3%

1-2

4 votes

31%

2-3

38 votes

31%

3-4

38 votes

7%

4-5

9 votes

12%

5 or higher

15 votes

13%

Not sure, but Oden will lead the league

17 votes

0%

other

1 votes

122 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

Here’s a little story of goodness to counteract my smarminess post.

While living up near Seattle (in Auburn) I ran into 3 lovely Indian ladies who needed a ride to the Sea-Tac international airport in Seattle.

It was a few hours before their flight so I asked them if they’d like to get something to eat – my treat of course. Not knowing their taste in food I stopped by a buffet style restaurant which was along the way. We had a very nice lunch together.

I’d like to thank these 3 charming ladies from India for showing me the true essence of the Christian spirit. They told me several stories from their motherland.  One of the ladies woke up early on a particular morning to see her neighbor moving the rocks over one foot to increase his property size. These rocks are a dividing line between the 2 houses. Where she lives rocks are laid out instead of fences and are used to establish property lines. She went out after he was done and moved them over another foot in his favor which gave him 2 extra feet. The man saw this and came out of his house saying “What are you doing, why are you moving the rocks?” She said “You took one foot, I’m giving you another.“

On another occasion one of the ladies heard someone in her kitchen. The three teenage boys in the kitchen heard her coming and ran out having stolen her table top radio (similar to boom box). They left so fast the power cord pulled free and was left hanging out of the socket.  She chased after them and gave them the power cord saying “It doesn’t have any batteries and won’t work without this.” 

As we drove to the airport the more prominent lady said to me, “You will be a great man one day.“
I’m not exactly sure why she was impressed by me in this way, but feel quite certain I was the one more impressed by her. And… greatness still eludes me.

Poll

What are your recent flavors of generosity?

30%

I helped an old lady load groceries into her car, and/or other similar kind acts

8 votes

19%

I was nice to a guy/girl who hates me

5 votes

11%

I kissed a frog (just in case…)

3 votes

11%

I swatted a fly on behalf of fanfaraway

3 votes

26%

I signed my name across idol’s poll for the sake of idol’s ego…and because I like big polls

7 votes

26 votes | Poll has closed

No, I haven’t read the book.

I give my advice from doodling in the school of hard rock cafe.

Tact is a skill we can all improve on, so listen up grasshoppers.

Business: The Do’s and Doo Doo’s

I have found in the middle of any kind of conference or business meeting where you are trying to win people over to your viewpoint it is best to not attack your opponent directly when he makes a solid argument. For instance,  – "If I had a face like yours, I’d kill myself." is not always the most appropriate response.

A kinder and subtler approach is "If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave it’s behind and teach it to walk backwards." This is much more effective. While your opponent is muddling through the exact implication of this statement, you can continue your PowerPoint presentation and finish with singular flare and pizzazz. Sure, in the end you may have lost a friend, but the rest of the crowd will be amazed at your skill set, and the ability you have to expose the fallacy of the "Nay Sayers" weak arguments.

 

But on the other hand, don’t be surprised if your opponent runs up and gives you a big bear hug and says "I luv you man." With the voice inflection mind control techniques taught in this course you will lead your opponent to the overpowering conclusion…

If my face was on his dog…he will teach his dog new tricks…dogs are a mans best friend…he wants to be best friends.

Of course, if he approaches you with the "I luv you man", you must immediately apply the Dumbo-lip-lock maneuver and put him back into the friend zone. Grab him by his Dumbo ears and lock lips until you hear a 2nd or 3rd eeeewwwwwwwww from the crowd. Don’t take it too far, you do want to lose your other new found friends. (NOTE: I will personally train all readers of my book in the Dumbo-lip-lock method, but it will be on a first come first lip-lock basis)

 

The office party is a great place to gain influential friends.  

Remote controlled Whoopee cushions filled with methane gas are nice icebreakers.

And, instead of laughing about the joke, you can ignore that it was a joke and fling all sorts of derogatory insults at the duped persons ancestors. In this situation no one will think you’re the bad guy. When everyone’s eyes quit bleeding from the horrifying smell, they will all love you for saying what they know should be said.

 

These techniques in times past have been kept secret and were only known by the inner circle of the most rich and powderful. But now you have your very own copy of  "How To Junk Friends And Influenza People."

And please, remember to neuter and spay your pets. Pets that ugly don’t deserve a family tree.
Heeeere kitty, kitty, kitty.

Poll

Choose Wisely

0%

oooouch

0 votes

0%

…why no, mind if I whoopee cushion

0 votes

33%

I will certainly use this advice in my next presentation

5 votes

6%

buy one can of methane, get the 2nd way waaaaaaay off (so off it will melt granite)

1 votes

26%

hmmmmm

4 votes

33%

dan gilbert

5 votes

15 votes | Poll has closed

I know it’s only one game, and summer league at that, but I liked this game tonight.
Reliable sources inside my head tell me (because I’m special) we will ROCK the Summer League.

Player Observations:

Luke Babbitt:  Oh that pesky Wabbit.

Armon Johnson:  Quick draw Mcgraw – "Hey mom, watch me do this left handed."

Patty Mills:  Tasmanian Devil with high RPM’s - DO NOT insert hand into equipment while it is running.

Jeff Pendergraph: "Mind if I whack your forearm before you shoot. It won't hurt, I promise."

Ekene Ibekwe: "Hi Mr. Hill. Please, let me block that for you – You’re welcome." "Hi Mr. Budinger. Please, let me block that for you – and you’re welcome." "Mr. Budinger. May I block that for you again – You’re very welcome."

‘nough said – let's PLAY BALL.

The Dalai Lama of Tibet made an appearance in Portland today,
stopping by to give some timely spiritual leadership.

 

tominhawaii in much need of some spiritual guidance to supplement his
Hawaiian beer shampoo, especially enjoyed the words of enlightenment. 


At one point an imposter elbowed his way into the crowd, and
seemingly very pious, demanded that he was in fact the true Dalai Lama.


Seizing control of the podium he said, "look at my pointy ears."

 

While there was indeed a striking resemblance….
  

a nearby reporter yelled out, "hey…aren’t you just holding up your fingers by the side of your head?" Whereby the imposter said, "no...... I'm not just holding up my fingers - THIS -  is just holding up my fingers", which immediately excited the crowd into a highly frenzied state of spiritual awareness.  (Photo not shown out of respect for women and children)


fanfaraway overwhelmed with exhilaration and in an effort to prevent herself from fainting,
promptly put a veil over her eyes. Although it has been reportedly rumored that she denies even owning a veil,
and has spoken out against them abhorrently,  a picture is certainly worth a thousand words!

(Listen fanfaraway, make up your mind which side of the fence you’re on.)

mortimer looked on in mild amusement at the unfolding events.
Stunningly, his toupee matched quite well with his facial stubble.

 
 
annthefan decided to call it a day saying,

 "I think I’ll junk it up the rest of the day."

 
 
The imposter was seen later that day having adorned his living room with black & red and
 insisting he was a clairvoyant unicorn prophet, with far more wisdom than any hyped up Llama.
Hence, the sun in is his wall hanging is depicted with several unicorny horns.

Poll

Survey says…

50%

Unicorns are people too.

7 votes

50%

Llama told me there’d be days like this.

7 votes

14 votes | Poll has closed

 

Let me apologize up front. The one table below is only about 10% of the data I’ve compiled, but the other 90% (not given) speaks to the same point. I don’t have time to finish this post properly so I’m throwing it out there as it is, before the data gets old.

Continue reading this post »

 What in thunderation is going on around here. It’s a sad day when I got to go to the main page at 8:45 in the morning to get my junk. How’s a guy supposed to drink his coffee? I’ve seen jscot post better junk. xcEept you brp, yiou had some mighty fine junk the other night, it was junkified junktastic.

 

I better see me some Cunningham for more than 6 minutes tonight.

No secret message when all yous junkers is a bigger loser than me.

 

Game recap:

WOW, what a great game last night. Aggressive on offense, decent on defense. Sure, a few turnovers to go with it, but who cares when you got your mojo going.

 

Were we channeling the spirit of the Suns from a few years ago or what? No, not really,  it looked more like we were creating a new spirit of Blazer basketball, homegrown in the great state of Oregon. Yeah baby!
Excellent ball movement tonight. A little sluggish in the 3rd, but we got that straightened out.

 

Player observations:

Aldridge: Texas two steppin’

 

Miller: 42 points under his new one game average, but the consummate professional.

 

Baylesslessness: May win my heart over even yet.

 

Pendergragh: "I will break you ‘cause it’s fun."

 

Blake: “Watch me show and go.”

 

Batum: Cooler than the other side of an Eskimo pillow. The new untradeable.

 

Rudy: The-Amazing-Spaniards-Sensational-Highflying-Magical-Basketball-Show is back in town.

 

Cunningham: "Get that weak stuff outta here, I’m from Villanova."

Mills: "I can make it from behind this other line, REALLY, I can."

 

The poll below assumes Roy & Oden are a given and is more based on the younger players potential, rather than where they might be currently.

 

Poll

Are there any new up and coming untradeables in RIP City.

48%

Batum

175 votes

42%

Rudy

154 votes

1%

Pendergragh

6 votes

0%

Cunningham

3 votes

3%

Bayless

12 votes

0%

Mills

1 votes

3%

none of the above

12 votes

363 votes | Poll has closed

Mister Stat man, I like our team

And it’s the toughest that I've ever seen

We got jump shots like roses and clover

I can’t believe my lonesome nights are over

 

Stat man, we’re in a zone

Though we’ve got injuries, and knees to get cloned

Please turn on your magic beam

Mister Stat man, mend us our team

 

Mister Stat man, I like our team

Make it the greatest that I've ever seen

Give them the word, that I like our roster

Then tell them that their lonesome nights are over

 

Mister Stat man, I like our team

Give them some eyes, with a give and go gleam

Give them a winning heart like “That was naaaaaasty”

And lots of victories would be fantastic

 

Mister Stat man, trophy to hold

Would be so peachy before we're too old

So please turn on your magic beam

Mister Stat man, mend us

Please, please, please

Mister Stat man, bring us a dream

Poll

Stats to live by

28%

Yeah Baby!

6 votes

19%

That pecan pie was yummy

4 votes

52%

I have a dream

11 votes

21 votes | Poll has closed

mmmmmmm, just opened some fresh vanilla extract. I love the way fresh vanilla smells.

Poll

The best part of Christmas

25%

Family

8 votes

12%

Mistletoe

4 votes

6%

Jack Frost roasting on an open fire

2 votes

9%

5 Golden Rings

3 votes

22%

Shaking Wrapped Things

7 votes

19%

bah humbug

6 votes

3%

snow

1 votes

31 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

I have never been on the Bayless bandwagon. Not after his stellar summer league debut, not ever. Just because a guy RRROOOOOOOWWWWWRRRRRRRR’s after every play doesn’t make me a fan. To know full well I can pass the ball better than he can doesn’t help either.

 

Poll

Bayless

60%

Definitely can take us there

42 votes

39%

Need more time to tell

27 votes

0%

Not a chance in Jurassic Park

0 votes

69 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Here’s a little something to chew on while you decide if there's room for some more of that pumpkin pie. Don’t worry, it’s not to heavy. More like a little whipped cream for that pie you're going to get.

Point Differential of course is a simple stat calculated by taking Points For (PF) minus the Points Against (PA) which yields the difference.  
Don’t be deceived. Diff is simple, but highly correlated to number of wins and even NBA titles. A very good indicator of how a team is performing as a unit. Here's about 14 years of NBA data: Diff on the left and wins at the top.



Only 3 teams in the last 15 years had a scoring margin above 9.8 and all 3 were NBA Champs (Blazers were at 9.8 for the last 21 games of last year).

 


Here's 15 years of title winners and the runner up (last year not included).
7 times the NBA title winner was 1st in Diff.
11 of 15 times, the team with the best Diff won the title.

The above charts and tables come from a couple posts I put up last year, and I have combined them and put them all in this post.  Now a glance at this year.

A Look At This Year With Adjusted Point Differential 

Stats really should always be adjusted for pace. I’m sure someone here convinced me of that with regard to the Blazers offense and rebound rates.
So here’s point differential adjusted (DIFFa) as if every team always had 100  points (PAa) scored against them, and also the corresponding Points For (PFa). The standard PF, PA, and DIFF are included, but this table is sorted by the adjusted DIFF, i.e. DIFFa. If you look closely you’ll see some teams rose/declined a few spots with adjusted Diff.

 

Team	W	L	PCT	PF	PA	DIFF	PFa	PAa	DIFFa
Portland	12	5	0.706	96.8	88.5	8.3	109.4	100.0	9.4
Boston	11	4	0.733	99.3	90.9	8.4	109.2	100.0	9.2
Denver	11	4	0.733	108.5	101.0	7.5	107.4	100.0	7.4
Dallas	11	4	0.733	103.3	96.5	6.8	107.0	100.0	7.0
Atlanta	11	3	0.786	105.5	98.9	6.6	106.7	100.0	6.7
Orlando	11	4	0.733	99.3	94.0	5.3	105.6	100.0	5.6
LA Lakers	11	3	0.786	101.8	96.5	5.3	105.5	100.0	5.5
Phoenix	12	3	0.800	111.4	105.9	5.5	105.2	100.0	5.2
Cleveland	11	4	0.733	99.1	94.6	4.5	104.8	100.0	4.8
San Antonio	7	6	0.538	102.2	98.0	4.2	104.3	100.0	4.3
Milwaukee	8	5	0.615	99.7	96.4	3.3	103.4	100.0	3.4
Oklahoma City	8	7	0.533	96.4	94.1	2.3	102.4	100.0	2.4
Miami	9	5	0.643	96.9	95.4	1.6	101.6	100.0	1.6
Houston	8	7	0.533	103.4	102.6	0.8	100.8	100.0	0.8
Utah	7	7	0.500	99.5	99.6	-0.1	99.9	100.0	-0.1
Indiana	6	7	0.462	98.8	99.8	-1.1	99.0	100.0	-1.0
Charlotte	5	9	0.357	87.5	88.9	-1.4	98.4	100.0	-1.6
Sacramento	6	8	0.429	103.7	105.4	-1.7	98.4	100.0	-1.6
Golden State	5	9	0.357	109.3	111.5	-2.2	98.0	100.0	-2.0
Toronto	7	9	0.438	105.8	108.6	-2.9	97.4	100.0	-2.6
Detroit	5	10	0.333	92.2	94.9	-2.7	97.2	100.0	-2.8
New Orleans	7	9	0.438	99.6	102.9	-3.3	96.8	100.0	-3.2
LA Clippers	6	10	0.375	95.1	98.9	-3.8	96.2	100.0	-3.8
Philadelphia	5	10	0.333	97.6	101.9	-4.3	95.8	100.0	-4.2
Washington	4	9	0.308	96.6	101.6	-5	95.1	100.0	-4.9
Memphis	5	10	0.333	101.9	107.3	-5.3	95.0	100.0	-5.0
Chicago	6	7	0.462	91.4	96.9	-5.5	94.3	100.0	-5.7
New York	3	12	0.200	100.3	107.6	-7.3	93.2	100.0	-6.8
New Jersey	0	15	0.000	84.9	95.3	-10.4	89.1	100.0	-10.9
Minnesota	1	14	0.067	90.1	104.1	-14	86.6	100.0	-13.4

 

The Blazers arguably have one of the best defenses in the league this year. It’s interesting that with the brush stroke of adjusted point diff, we now have the best offense in the league. Of course we’re tied with 29 teams for defense.
In fact, if we had been a little more ready for the start of the season and had 2 more wins, we’d be leading the league with a whopping .824 win%. Considering that our actual PF (points for) is 22nd in the league, adjusting so all teams can be compared equally truly shows how well the Blazers are doing, and brings out the aspect of our slow pace.

We can complain all we want about this player, that player, coach, etc.

The truth is, we all know this team is just barely beginning to gel as an offense.

So me, I’m giving thanks today.

 

So Where Are We

Pythagorean Wins (a formula based on DIFF that projects number of wins for the year) had us at 44 wins after the first 5 games. After 17 games it currently places us at 63.8 wins.

I wouldn’t put to much stock into this stat until at least 25 games or so, if not more. It does not consider strength of schedule.

The current win% of our opponent in these first 17 games is .407

If New Jersey (0.000) was a .500 team this would bring our opponents average up to .437

Last year our opponents win% for the year was .493.  So really, all we need is for the poor teams we’ve played, New Jersey (.000), 3x Minnesota (.067), Memphis (.333), Charlotte (.357), Detroit (.333), Golden State (.357) to step it up a little just a little and bingo, our easy early schedule becomes a tough schedule.

 

Ok, that was a little bit in jest. But there is also some truth to it. Is New Jersey going 0 & 82, I doubt it. And they certainly didn’t look like a 0 & 14 team out there last night.

 

Another thing to consider with this weak early schedule is the amount of games we’ve played. After Saturday it will be 19 games in 33 days, the most rigorous schedule in the league. Nobody has played more games. 

 

What does all this boil down to: it’s a little difficult to judge just how good we’re doing at the moment.

Probably doing about what we should be doing at this time. Take into consideration the slow start, where we were clearly out of sync, and we couldn’t ask for a better start.

 

 
 
 

 
 

The original intent

This post was an idea I had many moons ago to give a shout out to the JD crowd.

I didn’t mean to leave any junkers out, but this avatar collage is from about 2 or 3 recent JD posts, and I’ve seen several additional avatars since I put this together.

 

The Current Mood

Since that time, multiple fanposting has been a recent topic.

 

Some have suggested that a JD pushing good posts to the bottom is the same as someone putting up 3 posts in a 24 hour period, and pushing good posts to the bottom.

This is a thought that should be considered, since it would definitely be a double standard for a hardcore JD’er to criticize (albeit even if constructive criticism) others about multiple posts.

 

I have posted in another thread a couple comments why I don’t feel the JD is on par with multiple fanposts. Rather than reposting those arguments, I will just make one more solid argument in defense of the JD at this time.
PPLLFFFFFTTHHPPPPHHHLLLLPPP (Think “All In The Family”. Archie, with just oh so little tongue sticking out making the infamous fart noise. The end all of every debate, because no one yet has been able to refute it)

 

Seriously though, I have thought about it – here’s my final answer.

I think the JD in general represents far more than what is pictured here, but let me say this, when the above 75 people put up 3 posts in a 24 hour period (JD or otherwise), then I’ll buy into the argument that a JD is on par with multi-posting. YES THAT’S RIGHT, 225 JD POSTS IN A 24 HOUR PERIOD.

 

Waxing philosophical

I thought the Junk Drawer was a silly idea when I first came to BE. But now I realize it’s more like my house. SO firing up the BBQ in the backyard, tih pooping the dog in the frontyard, Roybot thumbing through the photo album, prez won’t come out of the bathroom, etc. etc. and all the while many things are discussed, basketball and other, but the next game is on in an hour and that’s what we’re waiting for.

 

How many times has cablinasian (and many others) waltzed into the JD and said, "I want to talk basketball." I really wish cablinasian would do the Tango once in awhile....uh, not sure why I said that. To go OT (even though it be basketball) is frowned upon in someone else’s basketball post. Not to mention the breaking non-Blazer related basketball news that is often posted in the JD, where should most of that be posted if not in the JD. So one could very well argue that the JD prevents rabid fanpost delirium by virtue of the fact that many OT topics would find their way to the sidebar, as many already do.

 

To say "Did you even watch the game" could be close to a ban offense outside the JD, it’s friendly banter in here. Yes, I must say, I love the casual, nonchalant, carefree attitude that usually runs through the JD thread. Getting to know Blazer fans in the JD environment has been one of the most satisfying aspects of joining BE to me. And quite frankly, I thought I’d never say that. And one more thing, PPLLFFFFFTTHHPPPPHHHLLLLPPP

Poll

What better place to put up a JD verses Multiple Post poll, but in the unbiased JD itself.

36%

ARE YOU CRAZY, the JD is always the best post on the sidebar

12 votes

24%

I was born a ramblin man, but the JD is my home

8 votes

18%

PPLLFFFFFTTHHPPPPHHHLLLLPPP (nuff said)

6 votes

9%

rabid fanpost delirium should be treated in less than 24 hours

3 votes

12%

All above is a vote for JD (i.e. JD is not on par with multi-posts), this button is to say that the JD and Multi-Posts are on a par – Be very careful, my killer attack parakeet is watching you

4 votes

33 votes | Poll has closed

Coming home from vacation this year I stumbled across some of the best advice I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

 

Poll

KP’s best chance to make a recipe for success is to….

16%

Keep this cake in the oven

5 votes

0%

Bake a new cake

0 votes

16%

Make the secret ice tea recipe

5 votes

16%

Homemade ice cream is always a winner

5 votes

50%

I know that girl

15 votes

30 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

So what’s the deal here, I guess tonight I’ll be the default junk maker since you all fell down on the job.

Watch the jump it’s tricky. 

 

 

Poll

What is a good post to comment ratio for posters?

2%

10:1 (you read it right, 10 posts for every 1 comment)

1 votes

0%

1:1

0 votes

12%

1:10

5 votes

26%

1:100

11 votes

14%

1:200

6 votes

12%

1:500

5 votes

29%

1:28750

12 votes

2%

other (please explain, someone who cares will read it - got 35 cents)

1 votes

41 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

I’m very paranoid ‘cause nobody has posted new junk.

Poll

What – did you just say something? did you hear that?

31%

HEY, HEY, STOP IT, STOP IT, YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT

6 votes

47%

Rise of the Slime Pods

9 votes

21%

Jujube

4 votes

19 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

An exposé by Randall Hubbard: Psychic Pumpkin Detective.

Is The Great Pumpkin a myth, a legend, or reality? Emanations from the underworld bring an end to the speculation here and now.
New forensic psychic evidence has proven that Greg Oden is the Great Pumpkin. A transcribed interview between Madam Scary (renowned medium of pumpkin patch fame) and Nostradamus has been unearthed.

creepy, spine-chilling, bloodcurdling muzak plays in the background

Poll

Soothsayers Say

36%

This evidence is irrefutable, Da Great Pumpkin will rise.

18 votes

18%

My Zucchini is never wrong

9 votes

6%

Hooked-neck yellow squash

3 votes

30%

Give Snoopy Da Ball

15 votes

6%

Hehonkers

3 votes

4%

Oh Nostra, Oh Nostra

2 votes

50 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

 

                                                               The Ugly Junkling

 

The following story is true. None of the facts have been altered. The ugly truth is presented in all its desssssspicable detail. The names of the innocent have not been changed.

Poll

This poll is not related to the afore mentioned story as stipulated in the bylaws of "The Ugly Junkling" section 4.12.6.3.7

80%

The Oregon Junks were just not ready (Chip Kelly gets wake up call)

25 votes

19%

Boise State is just that good

6 votes

31 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »

mY suMmeR vActi0n

I spent about 3-4 hours on a "What I did on summer vacation" post which somehow got deleted – here's a quick redo with far less links, but if you travel the I-5 corridor very often you might want to check these places out..

 

What did you all do on vacation this year (or are going to do)? Here's some of my vacation which brings to view a couple of recommendations and questions.

 

Recommendation: Bennett's Honey Farm

http://bennetthoney.com/default.aspx

Bennett's Honey Farm near Fillmore is a small blue building North of LA, West of I-5 (15 miles?) and on Highway 126. It's pretty easy to find since they have huge signs for it on the highway (126).

 

Going through the front door puts you in a small room with all the honey and bee themed stuff this place sells. They have books, stuffed animals, candles, beeswax beauty supplies, and (of course) honey. In the middle of the room, there is a container of wooden sticks and tasting jars to sample the honey. The "Canadian red Clover" is to die for. Best honey and most reasonably priced you’ll find. Don’t miss this if you like honey. I bought 5 gallons last year.

 

Question: I-5 & Fink Road and the 20-foot high fence.

What in thunderation is a 20 foot high fence doing in the middle of nowhere. I’ve been going to LA for about the last 15 years and always see this fence, you can’t miss it. Every fence from here (Portland) to San Diego is 4–5 feet except this one. It’s barren out here way north of Fresno, there is nothing here and If you were dying of thirst they’d give you a stick of gum (think Dune).

 

Recommendation: The Olive Pit

http://www.olivepit.com/

There are several olive tasting places near Corning. I’ve tried a few and Olive Pit is the best.

You can’t miss this, it’s literally a block from I-5 with signs posted. Even if you don’t want to buy any olives you can taste to your hearts content. Usually about 15 flavors to try with about 30 more behind the glass they will gladly open at your request. Yikes, I spent 262.72 here this year, jalapeno stuffed, almond stuffed, garlic stuffed and tons more.

 

Question: Le dejeuner, 1873 by Claude Monet

This print was hanging in my hotel room.

I’ve seen this painting (print) before. What in the world is the "black monkey/court jester" looking thing, hanging from what looks like something out of The abyss??? I’ve googled this to pieces.

 

Portland Bedge restaurant recommends:

Right before vacation there was a restaurant post on the main page. I was packing at the time of the post, but here’s what I could get for easy cut and paste for those who would like a more printer friendly version.

 

Restaurant	Address	type
LeRoy’s Familiar Vittles	SE 11th and Division	BBQ
Podnah’s Pit BBQ	1469 NE Prescott St	BBQ
Mio Gelato	838 NW 23RD AVE, and other locations	Dessert
Le Bistro Montage	301 SE Morrison St	Dining
London Grill	309 SW Broadway	Dining
Nicholas’s Mediterranean Grill	318 SE Grand Ave	Dining
palomino grill	1203 NW Glisan St	Dining
simpatica	828 SE Ash St	Dining
Mudai	801 Ne Broadway St	Ethiopian
A Real Taste of India	5th and Oak	food cart
Hawthorne Food Pod	SE 12th and Hawthorne	food cart
Potato Champion	SE 12th and Hawthorne	food cart
Whiffies Fried pies	SE 12th and Hawthorne	food cart
Le Pigeon	738 E Burnside St	French
east india company	821 SW 11th Ave	Indian
Salvador Molly's	1523 SW Sunset Blvd	international
Old Spaghetti Factory	0715 S.W. Bancroft Street other locations	Italian
Biwa	215 SE 9th Ave	Japanese
Yuki	930 NW 23rd Ave	Japanese
Murata	200 SW Market St Ste 105	Japanese sushi bar
Tanuki	413 NW 21st Ave	Japanese/sushi?
bewon	1203 NW 23rd Ave	korean
acapulco	10566 SE Washington St	Mexican
Autentica	5507 NE 30th Ave	Mexican
la bonita	2839 NE Alberta St	Mexican
La Sirenita	2817 NE Alberta St	Mexican
Toro Bravo	120 NE Russell St # A	Mexican/Seafood
apizza scholls	4741 SE Hawthorne Blvd	Pizza
Bella Faccia	2934 NE Alberta St	Pizza
Dove Vivi	2727 NE Glisan St	Pizza
Ken’s Artisan Pizza	in SE, corner of 28th and Pine	Pizza
Mississippi Pizza	3552 N Mississippi Ave	Pizza
Old Town Pizza	Location226 NW Davis St	Pizza
Tastebud	3220 SE Milwaukie	Pizza
Pizza Fino	8225 N Denver Ave	Pizza (thin chewy crust)
Bunk	621 SE Morrison St	Sandwich
taste tickler	1704 NE 14th Ave	Sandwich
Fire On The Mountain	4225 N Interstate Ave, and Burnside location	Sandwich/Wings
chart house	5700 SW Terwilliger Blvd	seafood
Jake’s Famous Crawfish	401 SW 12th Ave Portland	Seafood
Screen Door Café	2337 E Burnside	Southern cuisine
pok pok	3226 SE Division Street	Thai
Tom-Yum	4309 SE Woodstock Blvd # 140	Thai

 

These are all from the main page except for a couple pizza joints which I threw in ‘cause they looked interesting, and I know you all like pizza.

 

You’re good (sort of) and imma let you finish Apizza Scholls, but Pizza Factory in Shasta Lake has the best pizza of all time…of all time.

 

4432 Shasta Dam Blvd
Shasta Lake, CA 96019-9418
(530) 275-4455

 map

Shasta Lake borders the North end of Redding CA. A must stop if you like pizza. Drop in on a Thursday night for karaoke.

Last but not least: The Tarzana Inn.

I stayed 10 days in this quaint little Hotel in Tarzana CA (wait a sec if you follow the link and several shots of the place will rotate in). Lots of nice shrubbery around a small pool. Call ahead and ask for a poolside room. Goes for over $100 a night but they gave it to me for $89.

The owner is nice and lends his books. He likes adventures. If you can’t finish it, you can just take it home with you, free of charge. I’m finishing the Clive/Dirk Cussler's novel Artic Drift right now at home.

Poll

feel free

32%

Free Blount

8 votes

44%

Free Juwan

11 votes

24%

free ringtones

6 votes

25 votes | Poll has closed

In light of Ben’s post where Hollinger is quoted,

Nobody talks about the Blazers as serious contenders in the West, but we should. Portland had the best scoring margin in basketball after the All-Star break last season, and as I keep repeating, scoring margin predicts future success better than winning percentage.

http://www.blazersedge.com/2009/8/12/986756/clyde-drexler-blazers-are-1#comments

I’d like to take a look at what that statement signifies.

Continue reading this post »

I’d like to thank the 6 people who read my contest entry – I love you man.

You is good people. In a world of revealed identities I put you all in my fab 5, one of you is gonna have to share.

It seems my entry was better served as junk, Here’s a few out of context excerpts, but more importantly will provide the opportunity to put up a poll (polls not allowed in the contest) – So please vote.

 

Poll

The Blazers Theme Song Rocks, it is by far the best

52%

Yes, yes, yes…I’ll listen to what she’s listing to

11 votes

47%

No, no, no…that's not my destiny child

10 votes

21 votes | Poll has closed

Continue reading this post »