• joined Oct 04, 2011
  • last login Jul 10, 2014
  • posts 58
  • comments 769

A Fan Of...

  • NCAAF Texas Longhorns
  • Golf Chris Evert (when golfing instead of playing tennis)
  • NASCAR Chrusty Evert, Jr.
  • MMA Chris "Face Smasher" Evert
  • Boxing "Sugar" Chris Evert
  • Cycling Christo L'Evert
  • Tennis Chris Evert
  • EPL Spleensborough United
User Blog

This Has Gone Too Far


An old college friend sent me the following e-mail after the latest weekly embarrassment to our football program: i went to wurstfest, tivo'd k-state game and was going to watch it when i got back. ...

Calling Bullshit


We like to call bullshit around here. Along with channeling Ernest Hemingway and laundering Nepalese opium cartel funds through a complicated scheme involving on-line sales of designer T-shirts,...

A Tale of Two Offenses


Note: I'm sure many of y'all are weary of the negativity that naturally resulted from two consecutive ugly losses. I am too, and strongly considered withholding this piece. But I spent some time...

Excellent Play-by-Play Analysis of the Texas O and D


The concisely-named poster "P" recently published a damning analyses of our offense against OU. His conclusion: our offensive woes result from a combination of jaw-droppingly poor...

Our Offensive Offense


This was a long time coming. Entering Saturday's bloodbath, the Texas offense had managed to put forth the season's worst effort (in terms of yards gained per play) against each of its previous...

Review: The Disappearance of Alice Creed


But little Mouse, you are not alone, In proving foresight may be vain: The best laid schemes of mice and men Go often askew, And leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy! ~ Robert...

Stewart Mandel Slams Prognosticators


I read CNN/SI's college football site only occasionally. And I do it with only one goal in mind: find material to fuel an unnecessary, carping blog piece. It never fails to deliver. Today, we are...

Cowherd Goes Absurd


I will readily admit that sports radio hosts are, as a group, not exactly radiant beacons of deep analytical thought. Don't trouble yourself over my questionable use of the term "admit" in that...

PAC-16 = More Championship Game Frustration


There's a palpable excitement circulating through the cyber-air of the sundry football internets. And it's more than just the usual low-voltage electricity driving the digital electronic devices...



SPOILER ALERT. Don't read this if you don't want to know what happened on the LOST series finale last night. In case you've been living under the proverbial rock, here's a newsflash: the series...

96 Teams is March Madness


It appears the NCAA intends to expand its annual basketball tournament to a ludicrous 96 teams.   Nearly 100 teams, competing in a single-elimination tournament to crown a champion.  March...

Review: Hot Tub Time Machine


I generally consider myself a connoisseur of highbrow intellectual pursuits. My bookshelves are stocked with great works of philosophy, science and literature, many of which I have flipped...

US vs. Canada 3rd Period Open Thread


It's us versus the Great Socialized Medicine Menace to our north. The good guys are down 2-1, within striking distance. Can we come back, or are the men destined to repeat the women's...

The Nutless Husband's Guide to Reality TV


Here's a little pop culture crap to take our minds off of the Great Roundball Abortion of 2010. I remember June 22, 2002 fondly. That's the day I was publicly neutered and my balls were placed in...

Karate Cop


For those who enjoy the hit reality series COPS, but wish it featured less action and fatter cops, A&E presents the genius of Steven Seagal: Lawman (Wed. 10/9C). The show is based on the flimsy...

Hey Fate – F*ck you!


Wow. Fate sure swooped in and pulled the rug out from under Texas last night. Well, fate coupled with a few bad decisions, some instances of poor execution and a history of whistling past the...

MNC - Some Objective Comparisons


I don't have the time to adorn this nerd porn with flowery prose. So, I'll just jump right in... I've compared the Texas offense/defense versus the Alabama offense/defense in terms of differential...

Texas Longhorns Defense: YPPA Dominance


Texas is currently #1 in total defense. That's amazing in its own right. What's even more impressive is the Horns' abject utter dominance in yards per play allowed. Texas is #1 on that measure as...

Tim Tebow = Vince Young


Or so says Colin Cowherd, just 5 minutes ago. He said it twice, which means he actually believes this absurd shit to be true. Cowherd's rationale? Both Tebow and Young would rather run than...

Piling On


Okay, it's Friday and the Longhorns have a game tomorrow against Missouri. So I feel a little behind the times posting yet another piece on our offense's struggles against Oklahoma. I spent the...

A Reason for Optimism


I've been pretty vocal about my pessimistic outlook on tomorrow's game. You see, the words "Greg" and "Davis," placed together in order, are my kryptonite. Usually cocksure and brash, the mere...

414 – 340: A Statistical Look At The Texas Longhorns


If total yards from scrimmage determined wins and losses, Tech would have won soundly on Saturday. The Red Raiders outgained Texas 414 to 340. This early in the season, it's difficult to tell what...

Beating Shitty Defenses: the 2008 Texas Longhorns


I've spent some time here and there over the last couple of days collecting statistical data on the Texas offense and organizing it into an Excel spreadsheet. The idea is to analyze the offensive...

Doing Some Things: Texas Football Players


Collecting and presenting a series of links to the work of actual journalists is the latest craze in the college football blogdom. Noted luminaries of bloggery such as HenryJames and Huckleberry...

Walk in the Run


I apologize in advance for the Major League Baseball digression, but what Albert Pujols is doing this year is outrageous and worthy of discussion. The Cardinals' slugger is batting 7-for-9 with 5...

Dennis Dodd's Golden Decade


CBS, the RC Cola of Interweb sports journalism outlets, published a good old-fashioned Dennis Dodd confusion-fest entitled The Golden Decade. I don't have the time, patience or skill to...

Dr. Mack Brown, OB/GYN


We have good news for those of you who enjoy lively football-related discussion, but believe it could be greatly improved by the incorporation of specula, mammography and twice-annual internal...

Moby Dicks


I only recently became aware of one of television's most frustratingly addictive hours of programming, Animal Planet's Whale Wars. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, the basic premise is...

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