Everything about the playoff performance of the 2008 Chicago Cubs was a complete disaster.  But for me, the most disappointing aspect was just how quickly I gave up on the team's chances of winning.   Despite all of the comebacks the Cubs had made during the season, I knew that Game 1 was over as soon as James Loney hit a grand slam (actually, I knew something bad was about to happen when Dempster walked the bases loaded and was left in the game), Game 2 was over after DeRosa and Lee made those key errors, and Game 3 was over...um...as soon as the Dodgers took the lead, and I just don't feel like looking up how they did that.  I've always hated when people write about how Cub fans expect the worst.  That has never been my attitude in the past - even in 2007, I fully expected the Cubs to come back from two games down against the Diamondbacks.  The 2008 Cubs were clearly superior to the 2007 team, but in spite of all of those "It's Gonna Happen" signs, I suddenly lost hope once the calendar switched to October.

I guess I subconsciously gave up on the Cubs during the last Friday of the regular season; Geovany Soto had returned from a hand injury, but left the game after he reaggravated it.  Mark DeRosa also missed most of the final week with a leg injury, and Carlos Zambrano was clearly not at full strength after coming off the disabled list.  One third of the expected starting lineup for Game 1 would be banged up, and that seemed like a bad way to be heading into the playoffs.

And I really worried when Ryan Dempster was named the starting pitcher of Game 1; in my opinion, the only two choices to start the first game should have been Zambrano (to send the message that the team still believed in him) or Rich Harden, who always has the potential to throw better than any other pitcher on the team.  Even though Dempster had put up good stats all season, his ceiling for greatness was lower than Harden, Big Z and even Ted Lilly.  I worried that Dempster would suddenly pitch as bad as most people expected he would - and he walked 7 batters in Game 1.  I worried Zambrano would pitch like he had for most of September - and he left the game down 6-0 (although he actually pitched pretty well, too bad every Chicago Cubs infielder committed an error).  And I worried that Rich Harden wouldn't even be able to pitch six full innings and the Cubs bullpen would blow Game 3 - Harden didn't even pitch FIVE innings, and though the bullpen pitched well afterwards, the Cubs couldn't overcome the 3-0 deficit.  And I thought all of these things before the playoffs even began, so I don't think Loney's Grand Slam was what caused me to give up on the season.

Maybe it was the competition.  As I said, the 2008 Cubs were much better than the 2007 team, but I fully expected the 2007 team to win the pennant.  I think the NL just got better this year - the worst 2008 NL Playoff Team could have beaten the best 2007 NL Playoff Team.  Anyways, my prediction for the World Series was Boston over Philadelphia, unless Josh Beckett couldn't pitch, in which case I was going with Philly over the Angels.  I didn't really talk much about this prediction since I felt guilty about not picking the Cubs, but it's looking like a pretty good pick right now.  I wish I had been wrong.

2008 is NOT the worst playoff loss the Cubs have suffered in my lifetime (honestly, I don't even think it's Top 3, but I don't feel like ranking them all).  The worst loss is still 2003, and I don't think that pain could ever be topped.  Sure, you can stack the 2008 Cubs position-by-position against the 2003 Cubs, and the only place the 2003 team is clearly better is right field.  But that team had Mark Prior at the top of his game and Kerry Wood as the dependable ace.  There was absolutely no way in the world that team was losing Game 6 and 7 at Wrigley Field with those two pitchers.  But they did, and I still can't really believe it.  I believed that the 2008 Cubs could lose, so I wasn't shocked when it actually happened.  And that's what disappoints me the most - I wasn't giving 100 percent as a fan when my team needed me the most.  Maybe I was just being a realist, knowing all of the team's faults after 161 games.  Or maybe, deep down, I was scared of being hurt as badly as I was in 2003.  But expecting the worst is a TERRIBLE way to watch a game, and after three games, I don't ever want to watch a sporting event with that attitude again.  Blind faith may hurt you in the end, but the journey is a hell of a lot more fun.

(Please note that at no point does this post claim that the Cubs lost because of fan attitude.  Hell, I watched these games on television in Virginia.  But a week removed from the horror, I still can't believe how quickly I gave up, and that's what makes me feel worst of all.)

The Cubs have the best record in baseball and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching them all season.  The team is patient at the plate, scores a ton of runs, and Carlos Zambrano's pitching has been unbelievable.  But perhaps my favorite part of the season has been watching Kerry Wood return to his dominant form as the team's closer.  In my life, there have been only two players that I would consider my favorite - Ryne Sandberg and Kerry Wood.  Even while Kerry was going through all of his injuries, I just couldn't pick a new favorite Cub, and every time Kerry battled back from an injury, I would love him that much more.  Kerry Wood wasn't quitting on baseball, so why would I quit on Kerry Wood?

Going into the season, there was a three way battle for the Cubs closer spot between Wood, Carlos Marmol and Bob Howry.  I knew Kerry had the right mental toughness to make a great closer, and felt in my heart that it should be his job to lose.  Sure enough, Kerry Wood won the job, and the Cubs were immediately criticized by many reporters for giving the closer job to a player that they considered an injury risk over a younger player like Marmol.  But despite a few early bumps, Kerry Wood has remained the Cubs closer, and he seems to be getting more comfortable as the season progresses (in contrast to Marmol, who seems to be tiring).  If fact, Wood is tied for the league lead in saves, and if he could just stop hitting batters, he would have to be considered one of the best closers in baseball!

Which brings me to my main point.  The hardest time for me to watch the Cubs this season has been during the 8'th inning when the Cubs are up by three runs.  I know I should be rooting for the Cubs to score as many runs as possible, and I know it's wrong to hope for three quick outs when the Cubs are at the plate...but every time the Cubs score that fourth run, Kerry Wood is denied a save chance.  I want Kerry's 9'th inning dominance on display - to see him strike out three batters, get another save and continue to prove all of his critics wrong.  I love seeing Kerry Wood's name at the top of the saves list, and in a dream world he would set the single season record for saves, leading the Cubs to the playoffs.  And of course the playoffs would end in a championship for the Cubs, with Kerry Wood striking out the final batter.  In fact, I've dreamed of that scenario for a couple of years now, ever since Wood was moved to the bullpen in the first place.

Just the other night, the Cubs led the Braves by only one run going into the bottom of the 8'th inning, but the Cubs proceeded to score four more times, highlighted by Geovany Soto's three run homer.  And even though it was nice to see Geo hit that home run, all but assuring that the Cubs would win, a small part of me was disappointed.  Kerry Wood had stopped warming up - there would be no save chance on this night.  Obviously the most important thing is a Cubs win, but I still selfishly want Kerry Wood to contribute to that Cubs win.  It's really tough when your favorite player is a closer.  I've often wondered if other Cubs fans feel like me - a small part of them rooting for a dramatic save over that extra insurance run.  Maybe we're wrong to feel this way, but we just can't help ourselves - we love Kerry Wood!  Go Cubs Go!!!

FULL DISCLOSURE TIME: I should probably mention that I drafted Kerry Wood on both of my fantasy baseball teams at the beginning of the year, knowing that he would win the closer job.  Now, I don't let fantasy baseball interfere with my rooting for the Cubs EVER.  A Cubs win is the most important thing, so when the Cubbies are rallying against Takashi Saito, I don't care that my fantasy team's ERA takes a hit - the Cubs won!  Saito can get his saves against some other team.  I honestly don't think fantasy baseball is the reason for my feelings about Wood - I like to think that I'm just happy my favorite player is pitching well, helping out his team and silencing all his doubters.  But it would be a pretty big omission to not admit that both of my fantasy teams are helped out every time Kerry Wood gets a save.

Thanks Al for the great site, I've never posted here before, but I've been visiting daily for about two years now.  Keep up the good work!!!