Finally, the second installment of our ongoing, two-part series. Behind schedule, I know, but at least it's before the second round starts and half of this article becomes useless.

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I know that the playoff picture isn't completely sorted out yet, but I recently came to terms with another year of Leafless springtime, and I figured that there must be something, anything, that I can enjoy about the next few weeks of hockey. Then it hit me. Sixteen teams that aren't the Leafs will have hopes and dreams...and fifteen of those teams will have those hopes and dreams smashed and trampled and stuck full of holes on the merciless highway to Stanleyville. So here, I present to you ( in non-sermon format - I'm branching out a bit) The teams that could win it all, why they shouldn't, and where possible, exceptions to the rules which would somehow allow me to enjoy their victory.

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Editor's Note: Our resident preacher Brother Brunswick Bruiser has returned from his wandering in the desert to provide us the latest chapter in the Good Book.

I said I would go up on a mountain, and that I did. I have seen strange things since my departure. I have had bestowed upon me an iPhone, from which I can monitor all things Leafy, even while supposedly working. Indeed, it's become rare that I get two days off in a week, though the hiring of a part-timer may remedy this soon. But the important thing is that I needed a sign before I came back down, before I returned to the pulpit. That sign was granted by this past week's dealings, and the acquisition of Dion Phaneuf knocked me off the mountaintop harder and faster than a surprise cold shower during an intimate encounter with Lucy Liu might.

On the way down from that fall, I heard echoes on the wind that Toskala was gone as well, with Giguere coming back in his place. I made my peace with the loss of Ian White's moustache, Hagman's scoring touch, and Stajan's familiar, sincere attitude, and slipped into a blissful trance during which this sermon was formed. It may be in the middle of the week, but for the sake of reigious significance, let us call this your CRASH Wednesday reading.

A reading from the book of Book of Rebuild.

35:1 Then Burke said to Phaneuf, "Go up to Toronto and settle there, and build an altar there to truculence, which appeared to you when you were struggling in Calgary."

35:2 So Phaneuf said to his household and to all who were with him, "Get rid of the red jerseys you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes.

35:3 Then come, let us go up to Toronto, where I will build an altar to truculence, which answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone."

35:4 So they gave Phaneuf all the red jerseys they had and the logos on their hats, and Phaneuf buried them under a bone-jarring bodycheck which destroyed most of Lethbridge and made Ed Stelmach wet himself.

35:5 Then they set out, and the terror of Clark fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them.

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Editor's Note: The Brunswick Bruiser is back to recount one of my favourite holiday poems.

I know that as I post this, the Leafs are down 2-0 2-1 to the Isles and it's looking like we may be in for a rough night. Put that aside and think of how far we've come in the last little while. Let that thought warm your heart, and then let this re-imagining of a holiday classic punch all of the blood out of it.

T'was the night before Leafsmas, and all through the rink

Not a Leafer was cheering. They mumbled "we stink".

The jerseys were hung in the locker room stalls

In the hopes that good players would soon walk the halls. 

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The book of Jobbers is a depressing read. Really, I won't lie about it. It chronicles the might-have-beens in this league and is often highly appropriate in the preseason. While many unknowns do make the jump to the NHL, far more never capitalise on their opportunities and are returned to the AHL, OHL, or what have you with their heads low and their spirits lower. The latest to be added to that list in a man named Johan Ryno.

Don't bother looking him up, I'm sure he is in the process of deleting his identity from the entire internet and the memory of the planet in general. He had an opportunity. A sure thing, a chance to show off a pretty move or two and score the tying goal, to beat a goalie heavily publicised and seen as a veritable netminder messiah by the Blue and White of Leafs Nation. Johan Ryno learned last night that there is only one sure thing when it comes to monsters.

They will eat you, starting with your big, juicy Hope.

This is a reading from the Book of Jobbers.

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In the preseason so far, we have seen first-hand the fruits of the tree of truculence. Battered and bruised players - Flyers, Bruins and even the occasional Penguin - lay at the feet of our onslaught of belligerence. But oh, what is this, my friends? We have WON three of four games this preseason! And all in fine, exciting form, with the possible exception of our brutal shutout victory over a listless Flyers squad. Whence came these angels in blue, who race alongside our demons? Here is Exelby, Waster of Faces, but here too is Stalberg, the Winged Messenger who delivers nothing but great plays. Here too are Kadri the Sick-Dangler, and Bozak the Goal Hammer, and all manner of players who not only grin darkly in the face of adversity, but burst through it like the light through the dying wisps of night on a crisp Autumn morning. And now, A great cry has gone up from Toronto and passed from the lips of our GM Burke to the ears of every faithful man, woman and child of the Nation: Kessel has come. Schenn is still Our Luke and Saviour, but this Kessel may just be the angel who comes bearing the flaming hockey stick of the GM's Will.

These wins, though preseason, are most glorious, and the truculence therein is our message to the league: The Toronto Maple Leafs will not be bent, nor broken, like wakes upon the beaches of their opponents. We are the Tidal Wave, the Force of Nature. And speaking of Force, what better reading to hear this day than one from one of the angriest SOBs ever to lace up for the Blue and White. This, my friends, is a reading from the Book of the Prophet, Domi. Though but a mortal and a humble fellow in his time with the Blue and White, Domi was truculence. No, I don't mean he was truculent. He WAS truculence. A prophet by design or by happenstance, he rode a wave of intensity which rightly earned him great favour and fond memorial in Toronto. As we read here today, we see that he also foretold of the changes after the Lockout, of the fall and rise of truculence in the NHL. Many will say, "Domi is no prophet, he fought a fan. He nailed Belinda Stronach." But I ask you, people; what can one man do when he is charged with the care and preservation of so much concentrated whoop-ass? I'd probably sock some Philly chump and screw a political figure too.

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My friends, there are many fans in Leafs Nation, and for this we are glad. No other nation cheers like us, weeps like us, celebrates like us, mourns like us, plans parades like us or curses ownership like us. And still, there are areas where we as a nation are divided. Where some walk the path of the Rebuild and others run headlong the sidewalk of impatience and quick fixes. As we will learn today, not every fan is righteous, and not every fan is in the good graces of our GM. As he builds this team anew, there are others who cry out against him because he does not excite them. But who are they, I ask you, to understand the ways of Burke? Who are they to fathom his patience?

It is a desert we walk in, my friends, on this path to the Promised Land. A desert of trials from without - scoring droughts, talent mirages, the shifting sands of power throughout the league. But also, a desert of trials within. The trial of the faithful fan who meditates upon patience in the spirit of his GM. The trial of the hopeful fan who sees opportunity and vitality in this new season. And, of course, the trial of the fans who must put up with people who have absolutely no clue how to rebuild a hockey team. We are wandering in this desert together, dear friends. The patient, the hopeful...and the nimrods.

This is a reading from the Book of Nimrods.

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Editor's Note: I would have promoted this to the front page earlier but I was probably stil out cold when this was posted. Enjoy, The Psalm of GM.

As an added bonus, a prayer for your eyes, if you will. OdinMercer has has graced us with this recently-discovered masterpiece, depicting our GM Burke guiding the young Schenn to his destiny.

I introduce to you, dear fans, a different sort of prayer and reading. The verses from this book are meant as lyrical poems - Not simply words to meditate upon, but chanted and proclaimed aloud. They are reminders of how we shall live, joyful in anticipation of the coming Puck Drop, when we are delivered from the Summer heat into the revitalising, crisp air of the Regular Season. Here, then, is a reading from the Book of Psalmings, which convey what Borje would have written if he were not so busy being an awesome hockey player.

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Editor's Note: Brunswick Bruiser has started to make Sunday his own as he introduces us to the Gospels of Our Luke and Saviour's teammates.

As you may know, the four Gospels were supposedly written by contemporaries and near-contemporaries of Jesus. It is therefore believable that the works of Schenn would be chronicled by his own teammates. The gospels of Poni, Blake, White and Stajan are the testaments of some of his closest teammates. They who walk in the shadow of his Truculence, and benefit, in scoring, ice time, and the chance to play more offensively through his solid defence.

While the Old Trucument details the works of Clark and his ilk, and of the great designs laid out in the world beyond time for the coming of OLAS and his works, the New Trucument Is the province of OLAS himself and his mighty deeds.

(Please don't expect immaculate continuity. I work this things out on a piece-by-piece basis, and simply don't have the fortitude to dig through all of Leafdom to make this Bible chronologically sound.)

 And now, a Reading from the Gospel of Blake. 

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Well, my dear friends, the response to my first such reading was overwhelming, and I can truly say that such zeal for the Word of Burke warms my heart and galvanises it, like as a Zamboni reforms the ice to remove the imperfections thereupon. As such, my fervor to write was strong, and I leapt quickly into the task of bringing you the second chapter of this, our Book of the Rebuild, in time for Sunday. I dedicate this post to my late grandfather, gone a year today. He was a fantastic man as well as the hand that guided me to Leafdom in my youth. An Irish Catholic, he would say that there are two religions in his house - one for Sunday morning, and one for Saturday night. Though not a practising Catholic any longer, I keep the vigil on Saturday, garbed in the blue and white tradition of this storied franchise and the community which has sprung up around it. I know that my grandfather would have loved to see the direction the Leafs are taking this year.

This one's for you, Grampy.

A reading from the Book of Rebuild.

002:001 Thus the Maple Leafs and the Marlies were finished, and all the host of them.

002:002 And on the draft day Burke ended his work for a little while; and he rested on the draft day from all his work which he had made, and to watch the steam coming out of Bryan Murray's ears.

002:003 And Burke blessed the draft day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had made many picks for the future which Burke would create and make.

002:004 These are the generations of the Maple Leafs and of the Marlies when they were created, in the day that the GM Burke made the teams,

002:005 And every prospect of the team before it was in the Marlies, and every pick of the draft before it matured: for the GM Burke had not rushed development, and there was not a reason to call them up yet.

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Editor's Note: Take this first book and spread the Good News in the hopes that Brunswick Bruiser will continue to act as the prophet of Brian Burke.

Ahem. Good people of the Barilkosphere, I bring to you this day the Good News. And it is good, indeed.

A reading from the book of Rebuild.

001:001 In the beginning Burke created the rebuild and the plan.

001:002 And the plan was without form, and void; and darkness was
upon the face of the fan. And the Spirit of Burke moved upon
the face of the free agent market.

001:003 And Burke said, Let there be truculence: and there was truculence.

001:004 And Burke saw the truculence, that it was good: and Burke divided the
defense from the offense.

001:005 And Burke called the defense monstrous, and the offense he called
hard-working. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

001:006 And Burke said, Let there be competition in the midst of the
defense, and let it divide the ones who want the job from the slackers.

001:007 And Burke made the competition, and divided the players which were
phoning it in from the players which were
competing: and it was so.

001:008 And Burke called the competition healthy. And the evening and the
morning were the second day.

001:009 And Burke said, Let the players under the competition be gathered
together unto one place, and let the AHL affiliate appear: and it
was so.

001:010 And Burke called the AHL affiliate Marlies; and the gathering together
of the players called the Maple Leafs: and Burke saw that it was good and truculent. 

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