SB Nation User Blog: CV3000

Beaver Nation, We're all going to laugh at them!

CV3000 — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 00:46:10 -0000

From the Desk of the Fun Czar of Beaver Nation:

Greetings, Beaver Nation!

Hey, I know that we've had our ups and downs. We've had our bad times and our very good times! But I'm sending this to you because we share something in common that is so vitally important: We are Beaver Believers and there is a simple matter of --ahem-- a ROSE BOWL at stake here this Saturday, people!

Saturday is the most important Fall Saturday in Corvallis in at least two weeks. It's bigger than any of the wins against USC, bigger than the 2000 Civil War, bigger than all of the home games you've ever been to as a Beavers fan in the past 50 years! The Granddaddy of Them All is on the line and we are IN CONTROL of our fate!

Let's be perfectly clear: beating the team that only finished 5th in the Pac-10 each of the past two years really isn't really that big of a deal. It's about the far more successful, more interesting, more prestigious Beavers winning--especially this year.

After so many years of Oregon State consistently finishing ahead of them in the conference, so many years of having better and more talented players than them, so many years of beating them head to head, and so many years of listening to their unending whining and excuses for losing-- it's finally to the point that nobody in the country has any doubts about it. To anyone who can fog a mirror, it's quite obvious that the Beavers have the better program, better coach, and the best team. Nobody in their right mind would trade any of OSU's starting players for any of their starting players (especially the ones that they like to refer to as 'receivers').

We have had a good season of fan support and had a great fan effort against USC, but we need to show that we are the best fans once and for all.

They want you to boo them, but that is far better than what they deserve. They haven't won in our stadium for an entire generation so there's really not any reason to dislike them anymore. They have a program that is not very far removed from going 37 consecutive years without being nationally ranked. So they've already had one of their best years of all-time by achieving that this year. It will be a treat for their fans to travel to Las Vegas and sample some excellent buffet-style dining; they'll have a unique opportunity to watch their team set the record for most Las Vegas Bowl losses while also extending their Pac-10 record for most bowl losses and lowering their--already lowest--bowl winning percentage in the process. It's a run of good luck that couldn't happen to nicer people.

There is no need to give them the satisfaction of booing them. This year, when that team enters the stadium, we will do something different. Beaver Nation, we're all going to laugh at them!

Like this:

1) "That Team" Enters Stadium

2) Stand up
3) Point
4) Laugh

5) Repeat after half time

It is beautiful and unique, but most of all, it is honest. What football fan in this great nation doesn't laugh at them for their continual mockery of good taste already?

Turkey on Thursday, a far less delicious bird on Saturday!
-The Fun Czar

Signs For Saturday

CV3000 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:54:38 -0000

Saturday: kind of a big deal.

If you're like me, then you like to make signs at the Civil War. They're fun, they're funny, they're a great way to meet people who don't like what you have to say.

Here's the signs that I made last year when the Civil War was in Autzen:

Tickets

To New Orleans?

I used that outside the stadium and met a lot of very unfriendly people that way.

Every

Season ducks

Plummet into

Nowhere

2007=no fluke

on the back: Complaints? Text me! 541-000-0000! I put a duck friend's real phone number--he got over 150 incredibly rude calls and texts from incredibly rude ducks fans

Dixon Your Mouth?

Bernard Down Your Throat!

Didn't play? Didn't matter! Howard Croom was shocked when I told him about that sign a few weeks ago.

Leave your sign suggestions for Saturday in BOLD.

Jacquizz highlights from a high school playoff game last year. It's just not fair what he does...

CV3000 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 08:16:56 -0000

Find more videos like this on PrepTicket

Jacquizz highlights from a high school playoff game last year.

It's just not fair what he does to the opposing team: 237 yards and 4 TDs on the ground and a 75 yard punt return TD, too.

Oregon State has developed a knack for scoring quickly in 2008. The Beavers have paid visits to the...

CV3000 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 06:23:11 -0000

Oregon State has developed a knack for scoring quickly in 2008. The Beavers have paid visits to the end zone in five plays or fewer 21 times this season which
ties for the eighth-most in the nation. In addition, OSU has 17 touchdowns drives of two minutes or less which ranks 16th in the nation.

OSU Athletic Department

A Serious Question for *ucks Fans

CV3000 — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:19:08 -0000

Look, I know that you watch all of the Beavers games because you want to see what a good team looks like and most of your favorite team's games aren't on television. And that's kind of a double-edged sword for me in trying to get a feel for this game. You see, having none of oregon's games on TV this year made it so I can't really gauge oregon's personnel--are your defensive backs actually on scholarships?

Everyone knows that the oregon team isn't as deep or as talented as the Beavers--that's just a given. That's why oregon never has as many All-Pac-10 players, rarely has players who lead statistical categories, can't make runs deep into the season, and always fade down the stretch--they simply don't have as much talent to be competitive in a long season like Oregon State.

So I wanted to know your opinions, since you've all been watching the Beavers all year long, with your team's only hope of something great being the "chance" to upset Oregon State on the road for the first time in a generation. If the ducks could pull that off, it would clearly be one of their best wins in a long, long time--a huge, partial dignity-restoring win for your program. Also, because none of us have really been able to watch your team, since no network wants to televise any of your games (I would have to consider that a blessing for all of us) we don't know a lot about it this year. You run the wishbone, right?

Everyone says that tailback is oregon's best position this year, since you have that guy who ran for zero yards against USC and was able to repeat that at Cal. Let's just say that Quizz doesn't play this Saturday and the Beavers have to play Ryan McCants at tailback--who was more highly recruited out of high school than any of oregon's tailbacks because he is bigger, stronger, and faster than them. Heck, our 3rd string running back had 60 receiving yards in the last game, which is more than LaGarrette Blount has had all season, so tailback is clearly a position where the Beavers have an overwhelming advantage in depth and overall talent.

But when you go position-by-position on both sides of the ball, is there even one single player on the oregon team who could start for the Beavers? Is there anyone on your 73rd ranked defense who deserves an upgrade in program status? We already know that we wouldn't want to have any of your receivers who can't catch, or any of the defensive backs who our back up running back pulled away from and left in the dust for 42 yards up the middle with what can only be described as average speed last year. Honestly, do you have anyone who deserves a new lease on life away from this state's long forgotten B-team?

We just want to know what you think, since we have no idea about any of your unheralded players and have not been able to watch your quirky, little team from the fog shrouded, moss ensconced backwaters of the muddy Willamette this year. You're still in the Pac-10 though, or was that a conference play-in game when Boise State thumped you in the House of Allowed?

What is the story behind this crazy, old photo?

CV3000 — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:40:50 -0000

Photo via what is generously referred to as the "University of" Oregon Athletic Department

Here's the story of how this photo came to be.

1954: A group of 50 to 60 Oregon students touched off Oregon State's homecoming bonfire in the middle of the night in Corvallis -- a traditional Civil War prank. But Oregon State students cornered 15 to 20 of the invaders and held them prisoner. Captive Oregon students had their heads shaved, were painted orange and black and some were forced to do housework at fraternities. One was led through campus bearing a sign that read: "I'm a dumb Duck."

-The Oregonian

I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that every part of that is awesome.

"They're awfully good," Arizona coach Mike Stoops said. "Boy, they're a good football team. That's...

CV3000 — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 06:12:30 -0000

"They're awfully good," Arizona coach Mike Stoops said. "Boy, they're a good football team. That's the thing I love about them. They're like us. They're blue collar, and they are a team. They don't rely on one particular guy. They have to play well in all facets, and they do."

"I don't know if they have all the first-team, all-Pac-10 players. It doesn't matter."

Ha ha. I guess it just depends what parts of the quote they use!

SAM-EE!!! SAM-EE!!! SAM-EE!!!

CV3000 — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:49:51 -0000

In Focus: Sammy Stroughter vs Arizona @ Rivals Video

SAM-EE!!! SAM-EE!!! SAM-EE!!!

Mike Riley's on-field interview after NUKING Tuscon, Arizona

CV3000 — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:39:19 -0000

Mike Riley's on-field interview after NUKING Tuscon, Arizona

This is Good Stuff, but it's a little bit dusty in here after watching it.

Gameday is Only Cool for Teams Who Aren't Good at Actually Winning

CV3000 — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:40:44 -0000

Hearing a lot of whispers out there by people excited by the thought of ESPN's College Football Gameday show coming to Corvallis or having the game moved from the Versus Network to ABC/ESPN.

Well, it ain't happening this week. And it really doesn't matter.

Television shows being broadcast from your stadium's parking lot can only be considered an accomplishment for teams that finish 5th in their conference, like uowned last year.

I'm glad that ducks fans had the chance to brag about being able to stand around in a parking lot and see the back of Kirk Herbstreit's head at 7am on a Saturday morning, but isn't the whole point of that show to seek salvation by staring into Kirk's dreamy eyes?

It was also nice for them to have the chance to be the only Gameday host site that has gotten into a fight with the person waving the WSU Cougar flag and they even broke the pole that the WSU Alumni send around the country. Such gracious, classy hosts--I'm glad they represent our state so well by getting into drunken, meth-inspired fights before 8am!

Even without the bonus of having their students gang up on and fight a WSU alumni, it was huge for their little small-timey program that still isn't out of the woods from their streak of going unranked for 37 consecutive years. They really need to cling to these minor condolences, and why not let them have that one? I mean, life-size versions of the people inside of the teevee were in their parking lot...broadcasting a teevee show! Like, OMG!! ...OMG!!

The Beavers don't need to host Gameday to be on Gameday--they've been featured on there the last 2 weeks and many several times in the past. Also, if you're out on the East Coast or whatever, it would be better to have the game on Versus--a national network, rather than being stranded in the wrong ABC region--wouldn't it?

Viewing the back of these heads while standing in a parking lot at 7am can only be considered an accomplishment when your town is known for high concentrations of: people who don't bathe, methamphetamine labs, vegetarian restaurants, and homeless youth ...as found in Eugene, OR.