
Cat Smasher
Nov 24, 2008 Oct 08, 2011 29 199
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby**** and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group ofterrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
website: Hockey Fights
email:
a fan of
Toronto Blue Jays
Toronto Raptors
Miami Dolphins
GSP, Chris Leben, Anderson Silva
Toronto FC
Toronto Maple Leafs
UCLA Bruins
UCLA Bruins
Chicks in skirts
London Knights
lol wtf?
RSSUser Blog
Burke comments on recent cuts
Audio, comments on Kadri, Hanson, Caputi, etc.
Darcy Tucker announces his retirement
After spending the whole summer anticipating I would play, it got to a point where I knew it was time.
Toskala headed for Sweden?
"Vesa Toskala looks set to take his, uh, puckstopping abilities to the Swedish Elite League.
Multiple reports indicate Toskala, a one-time Leaf who was dealt to the Anaheim Ducks with Jason Blake for J.S. Giguere then finished the 2009-10 season with the Calgary Flames, will sign with Färjestad.
HockeyExpressen.se says Färjestad needs an experienced goalie after Robin Rahm recently tested positive for a banned substance. Rahm is facing a two-year ban from hockey, forcing the Swedish team to search high and low for a replacement."
2009-10 Broad Street Bully Award: Best Enforcing Team
Truculence, Toronto needs your votes, as the site has been infested with Flyers fans :P
Anaheim
Philly
Toronto
St. Louis
Tampa
Bob Probert dies
Former hard-nosed NHL winger Bob Probert has died after collapsing on a boat on Lake St. Clair Monday afternoon, Windsor media are reporting.
Emergency crews performed CPR on the former Red Wings player on shore and transported the 45-year-old to Windsor Regional Hospital.
The OPP would not confirm the victim was Probert, but the Probert family has called a press conference for 6 p.m. In Windsor.
Leafs call up Rosehill, Brent
Centre Tim Brent and left winger Jay Rosehill are expected to arrive in time for the third meeting of the season between the two rivals.
Orr’s bouts rated 18-plus
OTTAWA — As the Maple Leafs get younger, Colton Orr’s fight card will get longer.
That’s usually the way it works for NHL enforcers, at least those who find themselves in the spot that Orr does with the rebuilding Leafs. With Toronto now the youngest team in the NHL, without the injured Mike Komisarek and with Garnet Exelby not guaranteed to be in the lineup every night, Orr will be getting overtime minutes on his policeman’s beat. Saturday, for example, there’s a much-anticipated rematch with Ottawa Senators nemesis Matt Carkner.
Wendel Clark inspires junior Team Canada 2010
The real Dany Heatley
Diagram of an NHL Hockey Rink
http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd273/cdion79/NHL_Rink2.jpg
Link for bigger picture.
Laraque vs Orr - It was even, then when the going got tough, Laraque went for the take down and bailed.
U.S. Hockey: We're Going Medieval
Mr. Burke doesn't want his opponents simply to lose. He wants their post-game soreness to remind them just how unpleasant losing was. Anyone searching for grace and artistry should tune in to figure skating.
Auction down to Balsillie, NHL
Third potential bidder for Phoenix Coyotes, Ice Edge LLC, ‘do not currently intend to participate' in Friday's auction
The fight for the Phoenix Coyotes is down to Jim Balsillie and the NHL.
In a court filing late Tuesday afternoon, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said the third potential bidder, a group of Canadian and American businessmen known as Ice Edge LLC, told him they "do not currently intend to participate in the auction."
The Best and Worst fans of the NHL - Toronto #3
#3 - Toronto Maple Leafs - 16.0
Pct. of Capacity in 2008-09: 102.6% (19,312, 5th in the NHL) Online Presence: 6.0
Last Year's rank: 3rd
Justification: The fans of Toronto have been waiting a long time for something to really cheer about. A team that has been near the league's basement has not made one dent in the organization's attendance speaks loudly to the incredible loyalty of the fanbase. Toronto fans keep Canada's airwaves full of chatter about even the team's most insignificant moves. Tickets to Air Canada Center are the most expensive in the league which further proves just how deep the fanaticism runs in Canada's largest city. The team has a fairly strong online fanbase with a host of blogs and message boards but its not nearly as large as one may expect for a team that has so many die hards to its credit. Maple Leaf fans are eager to see General Manager Brian Burke give them something to really get pumped about, and this season he's added quite a few fists so if the wins do not pile up the fights probably will. With a city bursting full of hockey fans, they're sure to like the sound of that!
NHL submits bid to buy Coyotes
""Today, the League filed its own bid to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes’ franchise out of bankruptcy in an effort to maximize the likelihood that the Club ultimately will be sold to an acceptable purchaser who is committed to operating the franchise in Glendale.
"We remain supportive of the other efforts that have been and are being made to purchase and operate the Coyotes in Glendale, and we will continue to do everything we can to assist interested groups in those efforts leading up to the scheduled sale hearing on September 10, 2009 and thereafter, if the NHL is the winning bidder.
"We believe this step was necessary at this time in order to best preserve and maximize the value of the Club asset for benefit of the Club’s creditors and for the community of Glendale."
Theo Fleury attempting comeback to NHL
Sources tell TSN Theoren Fleury is attempting a comeback and wants to play in the NHL again.
After playing senior hockey last season, Fleury decided in February he was fit enough to give the NHL another try, so he hired a personal trainer and has been working diligently since.
Those close to him say he didn't leave the National Hockey League the way he wanted, which is fueling his desire to return.http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=287047
Coke Zero Fans First Contest
Enter here http://mapleleafs.nhl.com/cokezerofansfirst.htm
Here are the codes - you can enter them once a day for more points
cokezero (metro)
fansfirst (cineplex)
zerocalories (pizza pizza)
coketaste (burger king)
7JVW200WRK (east side mario's)
coca-cola (mr. sub)
Game is Sept. 16 vs Boston
Toronto Signs Tim Brent
That's all I got.
Sens send Heatley to Oilers
It's official.
"Sources tell Sportsnet that the Ottawa Senators have traded disgruntled all-star Dany Heatley to the Edmonton Oilers for Andrew Cogliano, Dustin Penner and Ladislav Smid."
Leafs Announce Prospect Camp Roster
"The Toronto Maple Leafs announced Tuesday that the team’s prospect camp will be held from July 5th to July 10th. The group consisting of two goaltenders, nine defencemen, and 14 forwards will congregate in Toronto to prepare for six days of activities. All seven of the Leafs’ 2009 draft choices, including Toronto’s first pick Nazem Kadri, will be in attendance."
Defenceman Jay Bouwmeester has agreed to terms with the Flames.
Bouwmeester avoids unrestricted free agency, agreeing to a 5 year deal worth $6.6 million per year against the salary cap.
Wade Belak: Q&A
A great interview, why did we trade him again? :(
No 'staged fight' rule
LAS VEGAS -- It appears the "staged fights" rule recommended by the NHL's 30 GMs will not see the light of day.
The players discussed it at their meeting here this week and they recommended to their members on the competition committee to vote against it. The committee needs seven of 10 votes to pass a new rule and they won't get it if all five players vote no next Thursday when the group meets in Montreal.
The union brought in a number of tough guys Wednesday and they shared their universal thumbs down on the "staged fights" rule proposition.
Martin Gerber to be placed on waivers
Well, have the Sens officially entered the tank or what? :) I think this should have happened long ago.
Islanders waive Godzilla (Mitch Fritz)
At 6'8, 260 pounds arguably, he's a beast, and can fight, good.
Now this guy can't skate, maybe he can't pass or even shoot, he can on the other hand fight.
With Deveaux's wonky foot and lack of ability to fight the true heavies in the league, and with Hollweg riding the pine, you should think this would almost be a no brainer for Burke to pick him up. He's not going to find his "Parros" out there, since Parros can also play somewhat.
He beat Laraque, Cote, Peters already this season, with one loss coming to Godard, who is a giant killer himself. His fight card speaks for itself.
However, without the fights, he would probably be the biggest liability in the league.
He had a chance for McGrattan before he went to rehab. Leafs also passed on Josh Grattan from Philly, who is tough as nails as well, but doesn't get a lot decisions.
Peters in Buffalo doesn't play as often anymore, and with that team gettingh healthy, he might be had for cheap. His style sucks, and isn't entertaining, but he's got the size, ability to get the job done. He thinks he's a player all of a sudden.
Just a thought. But Fritz would be more of an asset then Hollweg and spotty picker Deveaux.
Any ideas on who the next "legit" heavy might be?
Gary Roberts Last Season
http://www.faceoff-factor.com/nhl/2416/roberts-run-coming-to-an-end
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